₦airaland Forum

ajilegend:
Start greeting people and it will change

to some extent true. Bt at the same tym, how many you wan greet?

You can greet dos ones you know dt are few distance away from you while walking not turning head left nd right looking for people wen no send you to greet while walking on the street.

Dnt boder yourself weda they like you or not. As sm1 said above, what they discuss Abt is not wat you want to hear and wat you are pursuing is not wat they are pursuing.

na people wen you dey a bit familiar wit like dos people doin biz on the street you dey patronize not just everybody you see.

shey na dos street urchins or dos idle street boys loafing around making noise Abt arsenal nd man utd or those ones smoking igbo you wan dey form familiarity with?

Greet people dt are deserving to be greeted not dos idle able noise making young guys . some of dem just sit for front of compound dey expect you to first greet dem.

I came out of my building recently, I saw some idle street guys sitting outside talking their usual unproductive talk, I walk pass dem. while coming bk to d huz, one of dem had the effrontery to call my attention dt won't I greet dem. I was just amused. I ignore him and walk inside.

na person wen dey struggle wit self esteem dey worry who dey look am as him dey waka for street or who no greet am or they find who to greet.

But make sure you get good rapport wit ur fellow nebor for ur compound,few for street, workplace nd few persons for church dts the koko in case of emergency tomorrow. You no know who will be of help to you tomorrow.

Lithiumite:
You people lack emotional intelligence,read between the lines and don't just take the message at face value.....do you see him attempting to tear down the govt or repudiate tinubu at every turn.....its because he is mentally matured and understands the problem isn't all about tinubu but several factors that has brought us to where we are today......instead of everyone to look critically at the problem and seek solutions,you obidients sit on the Internet all day cursing and making a nuisance of yourselves......pls [b]went as high as 1,300 in the past when [/b]tinubu came in but eased to about 800 before the global headwinds from the ME crisis heat the whole world.......did any of you acknowledge tinubu when the prices were easing? Rice prices dropped by about 50% has any of you ever acknowledged the govt for that but its only negatives you all magnify out of proportion.

Fuel is expensive but it has only thought me one thing to be more economical with it and get good value for every liter and I am seeing results.

Oga, are you saying you bought fuel at 1300 during buhari govt?

Kalulu44:
Everything don yamutu bro

hahaha....yamutu no be small. Kalulu, How far all those your smallie gals wen dey use sir sir sir dey block your advance. How many you don catch?

OneCandleAway:
Do you know him or are you a member of TREM. Constance has been here since ages ago complaining about being used by Bishop Mike and TREM.

Not at all. It is surprising for someone at that height to be on nairaland.

constancefriday:
@OneCandleAway you know little or nothing about what went down between I and TREM and Bishop Mike, it's either you investigate like a journalist about what went down or at least hear from both parties before you make a final judgment.
Nothing happens without a cause!

Is apostle Constance friday on nairaland or its someone else bearing same name?

why not do this thing in a more dignifying way. look for am advance single lady or a widow too and wrk tins out dt way. In the real sense of marriage.

One dt will stay with you permanently to be ur companion Dan all these pay as you go gals. this ur approach will drain you of resources trying to keep maintaining these gfrnds.

Moreover, will you approve your 17yrs old daughter to date a single dad of 56yrs your age?

If you can not proudly introduce dt 28yrs old gal your eyeing to ur daughter as a side chick or gfrnd, den dnt push this ur amorous overture's further. Think about this

Negroid001:
If your 2 months salary cannot cover your rent, you're living above your means. With the current inflated rent in Lagos. Who go fit survive on 100k?

your on a rent of 100k per annum and salary hasn't been increased for a long while and your landlord suddenly increased it to 250k. you are living above your means?

this your statement has been rendered impotent with the way landlords suddenly hijack rent like over 300%

Olachase:
See as the woman hold the cheque tight

😂😂

So this small guy go day brush this woman

wetin be the meaning of brush

Anoda mistake was that, you would have ask her to show you evidence of past biz she has done. maybe catalog of biz items , sales invoice and receipts.

Mankind2024:
Black Tax and the ₦1 Million Lesson: When Family Becomes the Ultimate Financial Liability.
In personal finance, family can often become the biggest financial liability.
I treat this "liability" with extreme caution—almost like avoiding a plague—because in many African communities, particularly among the Yoruba people of Nigeria, it's driven by what's commonly known as black tax. This is the cultural expectation that successful or better-off individuals must regularly support extended family members—parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, and sometimes even community members—simply because they are "doing better." It's an informal but powerful obligation rooted in communal values, often seen as a social safety net in places with limited government support, but it can hinder personal wealth-building.
Black tax keeps many households afloat in Nigeria and similar societies, but it also fuels a cycle of dependency. Some argue that without it, insecurity and poverty would be far worse. Personally, I find it unacceptable, unavoidable, and undesirable when it becomes endless entitlement rather than temporary help.
Compare it to surviving harsh government policies like high taxes under Nigeria's President Tinubu.
Many people say black tax is actually harder to escape.
I have a niece who repeatedly asked for financial handouts, much like state governors pleading for federal allocations. Three years ago, she requested money again. Instead of giving a direct gift, I sat her down seriously and asked: "What business could you start that wouldn't interfere with your university studies?"
She suggested legitimate options: selling products online via platforms like Jumia, Konga, Facebook Marketplace, or directly to university friends and fellowship members.
I explained that I qualified for a low interest-personal loan through my bank Sterling Bank in Abuja. I offered to explore securing around ₦1 million as seed capital.
I asked her to prepare a simple business proposal outlining her plan, target market, and how she'd repay or grow it.
For the next three months, I mentored her intensively: teaching core principles of business, wealth, and life from Richard Templar's The Rules of... series. I also shared free digital copies of timeless books like Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco, The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley, The Midas Touch by Robert Kiyosaki, and Why Some Entrepreneurs Get Rich—and Why Most Don't by Kiyosaki and others.
In January 2024, I transferred the full ₦1 million—framed as a low intetest loan from my hard-earned savings via the bank facility—specifically to sidestep the black tax expectation of a free handout.
In mid-2025, when I checked in, she said things were going "fine" with the business.
But just three weeks ago, the truth emerged: she had diverted the entire amount to pay for a minor surgery because her father refused to cover it. Now, she could no longer account for the ₦1 million intended strictly for entrepreneurship.
The lesson here is sobering: Some people repeatedly pass over opportunities—and POOR truly stands for "Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly."
Many Nigerians and people in similar emerging economies have had better starting points or chances than today's billionaires like Tony Elumelu or Jim Ovia, yet they never capitalized on them due to poor decisions, entitlement, or short-term thinking.
This isn't just a Nigerian story—family financial pressure exists worldwide in collectivist cultures, from parts of Asia to Latin America and African diasporas. The key is balancing genuine support with boundaries, education, and accountability to break cycles of dependency and build lasting wealth

You would have start her on a lower amount say like #500k and see how she will handle it.

the op is probably trying to be a good husband and a father. you seem to have a better knowledge of marriage than your wife but the issue with you is dat you av been carrying all marital responsibilities in dt huz without setting some boundaries. you know what to do to resolve the issue but you are afraid of taking dt action.

Caveat emptor. am not implying divorce

interesting . I don't have more characters

Don't use the word "teaching her about marriage" you should say i share my opinion about how i view marriage.

you dey show anoda person road to aso rock wen you neva enter Abuja for once. you are only confusing dt small gal.

RevenuesBoost:
When I heard that banks in working countries pay you daily for saving with them, I couldn't believe it, until I experienced it and still experiencing it and I don't even live outside Nigeria.

Omo! It's the opposite in my country, you can never withdraw your money in full.
Every alert received in my Nigerian account is not always withdrawn as it's received, some must be taken out by the bank, why so?

That's how I pulled out my funds from my Nigerian account and save where I'll be getting daily interest.
Naija system is built to make you strong indeed. 😅

Dts nice.. how long have you been using this app?
Hope they are not stealing by trick as you describe opay?
Pls, wts the name of this app make I begin use am too dey get profit like you

suckprick:
There seem to be an epidemic of hungry ladies these days. What's going on? You never even start talking stage for 2days, billing don enter. And these are from so-called classy girls. Do ladies just sit their ass down waiting for the next guy to bill? Damn.

What was your reaction or always ur reaction when they behave dt way to you?

NeckingNgulping:
Thanks man, I really appreciate this. You're such a good advicer. Honestly, I wanted to involve the police, but I will approach it just as you have directed.

my friend just told me dt the police are inviting him to the station. reason been dt they heard dt my frnd has got his cash back.

Their invite is to collect 10% of the money. #3.2million and no be dem recover the cash ooo. mind you they have been collecting money frm him before now.

you go hear money to open the case , you go hear money to write report. money to buy fuel drive go the scene of incidence, money to buy paper, dpo too go dey ask for his own......annoying antics to take cash Frm him.

my friend told dem plainly on the fone dt he is not coming or else going there Na to give police 10% free #320k .

same.happend to my colleague last mnt January. His own was #3.2million. the man dt posed as receiver of the rent bolted wit the cash out of lagos.

he went to police to lay complain, police begin extort my guy for every visit he makes at the station for update.

He arrange for army officers hoping dt wil fast track cash recovery. Dos ones collect 200k. came once and dem no show face again to follow up the mata.

my colleague track the guy. The scammer was tracked seen doing dorime wit frnds at an event center. enough to eat and drink.

I dnt know how my frnd did the tracking dt the scammers mum and anoda broda was contacted and informed. it didn't take up to 2weeks, he got his cash back.

Op, dnt near Nigeria police station to report or else they will open bizness center for ur head.

Keep liasing wit the landlord . Ask him wat would he like you to do to resolve the mata.

Dnt shout or raise voice at him . plead wit him to help you dt you dnt have money .

I believe of Na true elderly person and it was on his Instructions you made dt payment to dt caretaker, he will do plus and minus for you so dt you dnt bear 100% of the loss.

NeckingNgulping:
A rent of 900k was paid to a caretaker whom the landlord uses as a broker between him and incoming tenants. Now, the caretaker has absconded with the money and the landlord would not let the man who paid pack in.

What course of action can the man take as he can't reach the caretaker and the landlord would not give him the key to the apartment?

since cray fish don bend , let the incoming tenant be diplomatic in relatin wit the landlord provided he made the payment to the caretaker by virtue of the landlords Instruction. But if it wasn't base on the directive of the landlord den dt money don go.

Normally in this scenario, the landlord ought to meet wit the caretakers people/family and let dem know if they can find a way of reaching the caretaker to cough out the money. But he would not like to stress himself doing dat.

alobright17:
you guys just Dey talk anyhow. What if na village land that belongs to the mother in law’s family, the guy will tell him to quit ?

violent Boy, drink a cup of chilled water to cool ur temper. You read to comprehend . Not read to attack. I only opined.

by the way,are you a next door neighbor to dt woman? I wouldn't have replied you if truly the land belongs to the village

Let me take you to class boy.
if you understand the meaning of the word "if" you used then you shud have not used it at all in your sentence you constructed.

"If" means probable, probably, not sure or certain.
.
so none of us here online knows who owns the land .

Why not ask the mother in-law to quit the place Dan destroying the building.

Subsea101:
Bold of you to call her standard "fake", show me anywhere is this story that points to her lifestyle as fake!, una go just open mouth dey generalize nonsense

You see pikin (OP) wey dey behave like mumu, wey suppose focus on his education, na only food e dey chop, still get mind dey think of wetin go distract am from his current primary purpose.

OP, focus on your education ffs

the love vendor still dey defend gal wen no send am.

Mr educationist , ond, and, bsc,msc, PhD....dt claims to be educated Weldon oooo.

you have all the education in the world but one small gal dey use you dey play ping pong.

Now tell me, who is wiser and more controlling btw you and dt gal?

You brought a petty noise online for us to read and we have read it. A man dt doesn't use his sense, odas will use it for him. That is what dt gal is rightly doin to you.

maybe the op should have just use only lazy .

a man may be hardworking and loose his job which describes him as jobless temporarily but not lazy.

some may have a job but be lazy coming to work or place of bizness.

Merry100:
Men should focus on advising men because too often they speak rubbish and present it as fact. So I should blindly follow outdated principles created by flawed humans instead of challenging them? Did all the women who followed these rules in the past have positive experiences? What am I, a sacrificial lamb?

I don't mind being called a "know-it-all." I just won't entertain illusions.

I don't see the importance of all that has been written. The only potential of posts like this is that they fuel the egos of men who already lack manners and make gullible women even more gullible.

What are men; embassy consulates? You expect women to unreasonably shrink themselves to fit men's checklists? If a man wants specific qualities in a woman, let him look for women who already have them. Women are not clay to be molded.

Your care-home example is inaccurate and irrelevant. Most elderly care home residents are visited by their children, not partners, because many are widowed, divorced, single, or have absent partners.

Loneliness or having children is not an excuse for living a miserable life. Marriage doesn't always protect against loneliness, and there are other ways to have children these days, even without sex. Many married people are even lonely.

Peace of mind, not marriage, should be the baseline. Marriage only works if both partners are responsible and accountable. It is not just about "God forbid"; be wise as well. God will not spoon-feed anyone when He expects them to use common sense. Are those who fail in marriage serving the devil?

It is commendable that you want your daughter to be prepared for life, but to protect her properly, she must understand that peace of mind comes first; not marriage. This will help her navigate life without falling prey to the wrong people. You better don't turn your daughter into a desperate woman or give her unnecessary pressure. Setting boundaries, maintaining standards, and choosing wisely are crucial because being a man doesn't mean being reliable. It is better for her to take her time and make the right choice, rather than avoiding breakups as if marriage were a competition that awards gold medals

The world is tough; especially for good people. Equipping a female child should go beyond education and technical skills. She must also be equipped with emotional intelligence, survival skills, and relationship skills to thrive in life.

Even the kindest person married to a bad partner is likely to live a frustrated life. I don't endorse hating men or oppose marriage, but I encourage women to know themselves best and choose what works for them.

The harmful principles that shrink women have continued because our foremothers remained silent. These patterns should be broken to prevent them from being passed down to future generations.

The post about Osa Ighodaro's marriage shocked me. She is beautiful, talented, and she was already doing well even before marriage, yet she had a hurtful experience. There are commenters who blamed her without knowing her personally. This is the society we live in, where women are always the ones to be blamed.

you wouldn't be quick to say all this long talk if your mind we remind you again dt it is the male dt approaches the female to ask for a relationship or marriage not the order way round. request for marriage in particular. woman no dey ask man for marriage.

Like this small analogy:

If you as a female go to a shop or the mkt to buy an item, would you pick the one dt is defective. you and I know your answer. No sensible person will pick a defective item.

the item only sits on the shelve weda good or bad, it is now left for the man to open his eyes to see and look very well before he picks the good item.

Op is more like talking to the buyer than the seller of that item.

If a guy approaches a lady and sees some characters he isn't comfortable with , he will take a detour.

similarly, a lady will also take a detour wen she too starts seeing some red flags she isn't okay with dt is after she has already agreed to go and stay in dt relationship wit dt guy for a while.

It is the man dt does the approaching and he is the one dt finally decides if to marry you or not.

The op is talking to the first main gender btw the two gender wc is the man dt puts leg first to ask for a relationship/marriage. wat follows next is for ur gender to either accept or not. your gender is not the one doing the asking.

He is saying the oda gender shud get themselves ready be removin any defect in them so dt wen the man see's her in a good characteristic form, he will like to make her his own.

no crucify our op mbok.

communication is very very importantant in relationship cum marriage.
if she is not responding to your msg. dt means she doesn't see you as sm1 dt measures up to her fake standard. Let her breathe.

Igbophobia:
Does God have a special person for you to marry? I'll answer you from the scripture and from experience. The answer is a big yes.

From scripture, remember when Adam was alone? The bible says God brought all the beasts to Adam and it was Adam that named them. There's a twist there: the bible says but none of the beasts was found fit for Adam. Later when God made Eve, Adam saw and named her because she was his flesh and bone.

In a spiritual sense, there is an eve for every Adam. If an Adam misses his Eve, he ends up with a beast.

On a personal level, I've been tempted to marry someone but God through His Spirit warned me not to.

This should be clear enough at least for the believer: marry in God's will or marry a beast. This could be why christians are admonished to at least marry another Christian. That minimum is for Christians who don't care about finding God's will in marriage.

What marrying another believer does for you is minimize your marital pains because they bear the same Spirit, unlike the calamity of marrying an unbeliever which effectively makes satan your father-in-law.

Marrying by 'finding a wife' is a sure recipe for disaster. If not now, later because even if you marry someone you think is a Christian, they may not actually be. For instance, there are many people in church today who are not Christians because their names are not written in heaven because they're walking in darkness such as fornication, hatred, internet fraud and many other sins. Would you say you found a good thing if you marry someone like that?

You see the logic you propounded above? It originates from Christians especially pastors who are guided, not by the Spirit of God but by their flesh.

bia stop trying to think or assume for God. tell us explicitly what chapter or verse did you see your own confusion from.

capetownboyz:
Well for a start , I would say my mind wasn’t really ready to start a family but unfortunately I found myself having a baby with my girl friend and we kept hoping maybe we can handle the stress and see what the future holds in store for us and then we can plan better ..

But to be honest ,I find myself back tracking and seeing myself alone not bothered by a family at my age cause I’m more of an introverted person and I love my peace and quietness but this days it just hard to focus on myself when everything seems like a burden and responsibility..

I’m not that financially buoyant or have something doing at the moment but I’m quite comfortable enough due to my past earnings in some few businesses which normally was to take care of my mental well being alone but this days I find myself trying to be there for my family and coupled with recession and bad economy ,it is taking a toll on my mental health and I’m being forced to be out there doing something concrete enough that will back my young family financially but this is not my trend and sometimes I find myself still thinking I’m living alone and looking out for opportunities in my own comfortable way not same way that feels hectic and serves as constant reminder for me to proof to myself and show that i am capable of handling the family life I got myself entangled in..

As regards my other half to be honest she is amazing ,beautiful and well disciplined but I’m not quite satisfied with her back ground and it [b]feels like I went too low [/b]and I didn’t aim higher . She got this home domestic trauma that she experienced from her family , seeing her dad hit her mom and all that , though she let me know of this issues which I thought to myself wasn’t that really deep but tonight I find myself arguing with her cause she saw a post of a woman who was abused by her husband and due to that she kept mentioning that she will stab and kill any man who does that to her repeatedly and find that really offensive and full of negativity. Thinking how to best figure out my finances with my family and here I’m being reminded of someone who is emotionally unstable as regards abuses her mum faced from her father and aside that have seen many red flags that doesn’t quite balance with me ..

I keep thinking , how I wish I was still alone and how needed to be by myself and plan my life well but at the end of the day I’m reminded have started a journey which I ought not to have cause it feels just too early for me ..Though I’m 31 by age this year but I don’t think age should be a determining factor as regards when you choose to settle down ..Due to this difference,I’m thinking of just leaving or asking her to leave and take the child away but I’m worried cause my daughter is too beautiful and loving to be left alone with her mum ,which to me I don’t really trust her and her back ground cause she grew up from a seperated household but I don’t think that should affect her as regards her household but to be honest it feels heavy to me and I feel like giving up but at the same I want to fight it out and believe I can defeat this phase of my life and channel a good purpose through my family but my lingering worries are : if she is really worth it, I mean doing life with her and creating a good foundation and purpose for ourselves.. Our insecurities are clashing and we find ourselves arguing over this and it starting to feel like we will be heading out different ways soon but still I can’t leave my child cause I don’t trust her well being with her mom cause she herself is not financially stable and likewise her family but I can handover the child to my parents cause they are doing well for themselves and capable of keeping a good eye on my child but she is adamant and swearing she won’t leave her daughter alone and I’m quite worried..

Pls advice me ,how do I create a balance and purge any negativity from my family ..I’m still looking for a job or thinking of getting a enough capital to start a business ..have really exhausted myself financially starting from when she got pregnant, till now and a never ending cycle of commitment and responsibility which is eroding my sense of freedom ..

you see that line.

most of us dt are married sometimes reason this way. Regret of "I married wrongly" , "I married sm1 too low for my status", "my ex was beta",.........and the list of regret and gnashing of teeth keeps going on and on and on

if you think you marid too low, dt means your saying you are wiser , more knowledgeable, more expose, giving or contributing more, more classy Dan dt woman dt has a baby for you.

Shud dt be ur reasoning , den dt is where ur strength lies. use your comparative strength and advantage you have over dt woman and begin change things in dt huz for good.

Reduce ur complaining. you have not put any effort ur already complaining. clarity comes along the way wen you start taking baby steps to resolve ur issue. use your wisdom to bring back your joy you were savouring and saw in her before she got preg for you.

look at her again and write out wat you actually like abt her. see how you can use dos her strength to ur advantage.

Above all, the major reason why your lamenting is because you dnt have enough money. what money cannot solve , more money will solve it.

The 3rd pix

the photographer graphically bend the leg of those 3 women at the left hand side.

essentialone:
Bro, understand that men don’t fall in l0ve with a w00man’s achievement. We don’t. Never have. Never will.
‎
‎She can be a CEO. A surgeon. A lawyer. ‎A PhD holder. A boardroom assassin. ‎A successful business w00man.
‎
‎It does nothing for how a man feels about her.
‎
‎Men don’t fall in love with titles. Men fall in love with peace. With femininity. ‎With softness. With warmth.
‎
‎She can earn six figures, run meetings, lead teams, and dominate corporate spaces. That’s fine. Applause at work.
‎
‎But if she come home competitive, combative, loud, rigid, and masculine, she Is not a wife, she Is a coworker. And no man wants to clock into another job at home.
‎We don’t want competition in our living room. We don’t want perf0rmance reviews in the bedroom. We don’t want power struggles at the dinner table.
‎
‎We want peace.
‎
‎If she can’t or won’t cook. If she despise cleaning. If she reject submission. If femininity offends her.
‎Then her degree doesn’t make her attractive. It makes her irrelevant to serious men.
‎
‎This has nothing to do with ego. It’s biology and order. A man will choose a respectful waitress over a rude lawyer every single time if she treats him better.
‎
‎Because her promotion won’t nurture children. Her independence won’t build a family. Her résumé won’t give him peace after war.
‎
‎Men build outside, w00men soften the inside. That’s the balance.
‎
‎Break that balance and don’t be shocked when men opt out.
‎Marriage is not a LinkedIn collaboration. It’s a home. And homes are built with warmth, not credentials.
‎
‎These are also the cause of most marriages.
‎
‎If this offends someone, it wasn’t meant to comfort. It was meant to clarify.
‎
‎Learn or perish.
‎
‎Class dismissed.
‎Till I come your way again.
‎Keep following for more.

baba. this one wen you drop for here no align to the question the op ask

buh smart perfume still dey ok. For a man.

Sonnobax15:

Imagine the huge amount of money the innocent man would have spent on sponsoring the native hen abroad

Funny thing is that I have a neighbor currently who's on this path. . I just dey look am dey laugh cuz I know his own breakfast would be microwaved in such a way that it'd take like forever but can never get sour

Men,when we go ever learn?

my man, I hail ooo. you are always having same experience with some perons story on this platform. If it is not Frm ur own experience, e go be one of ur frnds or neighbors . No gist for here dey strange to you

RaptorX:
No be only 800k na 800 million, factory job that they can tell him to go home tomorrow because there is not enough shift and they will call you back, keep doing Naira to Pound conversion nonsense.

it's 600k for 20hours per week ooooooh? in a warehouse. he select's parcel and drop on a conveyor.

point of correction.