₦airaland Forum

Diplomaticbeing:
Thanks once again for your valuable inputs. However, it seemed you didn't understand well my statement about "baby mama". Well, I said I believe in given my very best in anything I believe in. I have highest regard for the institution of marriage and I value women and children so much, therefore when married I will give in more than 100% effort to make it a worthwhile journey. All these facts are the reasons why I am trying so hard to be careful before saying I do.

However, as much as I hold the marriage institution sacrosanct and values children so much, yet I can't afford to live in a toxic relationship, meaning that in case my companion-to-be chooses to suppress her bad traits for now just to get me commit to her and unleashes her irritating attitudes after marriage is consummated that I will not have the patience to stay put in such union. Therefore, I don't believe in the for better for worse marriage mantra. As I have stated in my foremost message, I can be very tolerant and quiet but as a human being I also have my limit and when it elapses I don't give a second chance to a situation. I am just been honest to myself. Once more, thanks.

Diplomaticbeing:
Hmm! She's not a bad person per se, if she was I wouldn't have had the patience to keep up close contact with her in the first instance. I like her but I am yet to find reason to love her or commit to her. My major concern is the fact that I am seriously considering to make her a life companion, thus my need to properly evaluate her as a person. I sees a marriage and child rearing as some serious businesses that will requires the very best one can afford and offer to make it worthwhile when into it (whatever I believe in I give in all my best), this informed my decision to look carefully before leaping. I don't want to make mistake, because I'd rather take the route of having a baby mama without emotional attachment that to be in a toxic relationship all in the name of marriage and it's for better for worse mantra. This for better for worse thing in marriage I don't believe in of course, because if something is not working the most honorable thing should be for one to walkout.

Am I being too conservative in my thoughts and reasoning?

Diplomaticbeing:
Thanks for your valuable inputs. Actually, some days back when I started the topic to tell her the reason for my cold feet towards her, when I first raised the points "our bad attitudes and manners" as the reason for my indifferent towards her in particular and affair in general, she made me to understand that she hadn't no flaws and bad manners. However, after I poured out my mind to her, she became remorseful and promised to change for good. But my fear is that since I have told her the traits that will make me love and commit to a lady, she may start to pretend for now to be a changed person, but later on in life after we might have tied the knot should would restart to exhibit these irritating acts.

To your question about being happy, I mean that she feels so happy to have me in her life - citing how she acts when physically around me or when we are on phone. According to her, she loves my personality - her postulation in this regard doesn't move me much because many people do find my personality pleasing ... excuse me if I sounded immodest here but I stated this to make clear my point for your understanding. So, I for one, I am equally trying to find reason to love her own personality too, because as it stands now I don't have a special affection for her. I don't have any emotional connection with her due to her attitude. All these facts I have made them clear to her because I don't know how to pretend and I hate to take advantage of people intentionally, thus the reason why I always strive to tell her my feelings and thoughts towards her behavior at any given time.

About her "manipulation/sense of entitlement", well, to her credit her level of manipulation is not that worse than an average lady out there and this is so because many a times before she came up with her antics, I would use my diplomatic prowess to dissect her and she would mellow down and we would just laugh it off.

Meanwhile, in respect to "her ungratefulness and public correction of people", well, after that my one-on-one talk with her some days back, she showed remorse and promised me that she would change for good and she pleaded that I should start doing her favor of correcting her whenever she makes such mistakes.

In summary, she's ready to learn according to her and from my observation too. But my fears remain, how am I sure that should won't start pretense for now to restart them afterward. The truth is that I just wish to settle down as soon as possible and she too wishes to. By the way, I am not a saint, I know that my sensitive and reserved nature sometimes makes it hard for someone around me to have it easy, especially anyone that has intentions to take advantage of me. Maybe I will have to loosen up and start acting like a mugu.

winetapper:
Done Seven threads, seven days, seven sections Staring on Sunday.. By Gods grace #forbabyLight

coogaluta:
I'm guessing this is supposed to be me.....
If so, I'm imploring you to please keep my moniker out of your hands and/or tongue
Nairaland was always fun for me, till I no longer had the energy...
Dunno about nobody scamming nobody....
I'll NEVER be a false witness to ruin another man's reputation
Like who the fvck are you sef, I don't even know you and I'm sure we've never had a conversation outside here before, maybe not even here!
The scammees should identify themselves, biko!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SCAMMED BY ANY NAIRALANDER!!!
Just stumbled on this and had to clear the air!
I'm out of here!

FrancisTony:
Aww! Karma is b1tch... Juicy thread, I tell ya'.

GHoJes, thanks! I dey feel your born followers...

Caracta:
My dear...

This Nairaland ehn... I'm not even surprised at the accusations one bit. Not even a tiny bit.



@FrancisTony, good morning to you too

Dyt:
Madam goan call your man to come defend himself

BABE3:
dyt, see me see trouble o. God deliver us from fùckboys. He's so going down.

why would he even threaten me with releasing nudes on the internet if he's not terrified?

a woman just told me now behind the scenes that she dated him too for 2 years (probably while he was dating me), and he scammed her as well.

please the ladies that he has scammed, lets all speak up. The more the evidence, the better/stronger the case against him.

olu4life:
Jisox!!Frontpage?

Mod are u asleep ni

BABE3:
exactly, if he denies, then I'll have no choice. I'm actually hoping he denies.

ginababy:
Hmmm every1 showing talents. I'm getting to knw u guys d more. If dis is nt d devil trying to distract our happy moods what is her base or reasons for living new born thread and posting such on pregnancy thread were pregnant mamas r facing diff pregnancy symptoms n issues dat der don't even tink well again.
@blessedtwins, dnt listen to any1 on dis thread again because pregnancy is making every1 tink tru her anuse ryt now . I'm very sure u know wat u deserve n want 4urself so go for it.
@all, b4 we spend our tym advising n fighting here lets get to knw dat she can only follow her heart on dis mata. If I were in her shoe, d truth is I can't stay a day wtout my hubby n no were will b convenient 4 me lyk his presence.
As devil don shift our focus tinz don stand still. No baby delivery, no BS, no new member, n no testimony. If care is nt taken even d #threadcutie might nt hold 2day n even if it does, it might nt b interesting because of all dis disagreements in between.

Pls u pple shud respect ur selves wt silence on dis mata. Plsssss.

ArabianPrince:
@missmalachi. You are free to deduce what you like about my person. So if someone doesn't agree with your ideology, It implies that the person is enjoying the beating or a wife beater. Your kettle logic and way of reasoning is appalling.

@favoredgal. Dr Hestia Thomas use to be my classmate and colleague. Do you know the true circumstances leading to her death before listing her as victim of domestic violence? Everyone's situation is different in their homes. That doesn't give me the audacity to give illicit advice and the onus is on the victim to act accordingly. Have I made any statement that supports wife battering or domestic violence? Have I asked her to stay with her abusive husband?

Instead of people giving illicit advice like selling the car and escalating issues etc. Why don't you address the concerns I have raised in my comment which I suppose are the concerns of the lady in question (Support) rather than attacking my person.

If am to reason like those quoting me....am sure some here are enduring domestic violence, they wouldn't do anything about their own situation, but they are ever ready to act as domestic e-warriors for others. smbh.

blessedtwins:
ginaby I can only communicate online.phone was destroyed.how do I tell my pastor?by d way I once reported him to the church and they said I should just hide when he starts.
I just thot of selling off a brand new car.he bot it in our names.if I could get a buyer asap I would be good to go
A penny for your thots

Aminat508:
was not feeling fine. Just got discharged today sef

Onegai:
This was in the era of armed robbers so that gate was nice and strong, she cared for the gate and knew it could survive impact. It was the bicycle and me that were expendable