₦airaland Forum

ahnie:
Yes ma'amhe married late because of his altitude i guess.My husband is working in a well paid company.as an engineer with his official car.he wasnt like this when we met.i met him broke,my Dear,i just want to Rent the guy out to any single interested damsel.the boy z not his kid either.

I'm going to be blunt and tell you the truth you are shying away from.
From the first time you introduced Alex on a thread somewhere i knew he was a bad market though you said he was the best deal. The age thing further affirm the unpleasant things i noted though you made it look like no big deal. As is usually the case most times with such age variations, i saw then you were just another naive one going for the pit the older ones have avoided. It didnt just seem well then and i'm not surprise at recent events.
For your child's sake, its better you sit up and correct the mistakes now that it is still early because it will only get worse. The time you could have used in studying him, you used in sampling him an unrealistic "good wife" material like see him to gate at 5pm? Pay "husband fee"? Others huh? Btw, when the woman you intend lending him to realise who he is, she is going to return him back to you. I hope you get serious on time to realise how serious the matter is and seriously do something. I will tell you the truth you have not come to terms with; you dont know half the truth about Alex and that boy could be his.

thelish:
do u know d difference BTW ogiri n okpei? As for dat ogiri, I dislike it with passion. E dey smell craze man mess. lol

Have you seen where they are processing dawadawa/okpei? If the fresh Ogiri stinks in the whole compound, the dawadawa stinks in the whole street its being dried. Sun and people nostrils get to take the smell before it gets to the market but flies escort the fresh ogiri to the market and keep it company till its bought. "So fresh Ogiri smell like mad man wey no klin yanssh while dry one smell like mad man wey klin yanssh after shaiting"

tchidi:
Oooooo!! Its not jor!! Ogiri no be wetin dem de use cook Ohasoup? Wrapped in plenty leaf??
It most definitely isn't iru/dawadawa.

The fresh stinking one is ogiri while the processed or dried one is called Iru/Dawadawa/ Ogiri Nsukka or Okpei. So they are all Ogiri made from same source.

Chidoks:
byvan03,GHojes, i just got to understand what you guys were sniffing about.pls stop sniffinf before you inhale some dangerous substances.i wanted to ignore your insinuations afterall we don't know ourselves but i think i should set the records straight though i shall do it just this once.i am me not someone else.i don't have an alternate moniker.
i got busy when GHojes started sniffing, i just got to understand the sniffing was about me. i had always believed that '...' is a sign of continuity used to express thing you'd rather not say thus i use it except for today when i was multitasking and was rathwr fast.5minutes is right, my phone also contributes to some of my mistakes...
hahaha did i just do that? ...

I'm glad you are not mad at it, i did the checking well again, there are similarities but its different. I apologise on behalf of myself and byvan.

MRBrownJ:
yes some desperate people wouldnt care if their partner cheats or not (and would stay in that disrespectful marriage regardless) but whats important here is: is it right?! and do YOU care?! if what you saw is not RIGHT then you must voice your concern. if you care that something may be foul here then you also must voice your concern... and if people will paint you as a marriage broker then to hell with what ignorant people think, so long as you did what is RIGHT by you. if you indeed "respect" that FRIENDSHIP then you must advise your friend, and to hell with how she will react.
yep, thats the sad world we live in today where some women are so desperate to "stay married at all costs" and pretend that they are happy to the whole world, that they accept such miserable lives/treatments, and would turn on you because you cared.
also, as someone said earier, this "amebo" state of mind has got to GO!!! if anyone sees anything suspicious they must voice their concerns, whether its their friend's husband or anything else!
so where exactly do you draw the line? and most importantly, why should we ever? does righteousness only work with a few people/instances?!
- you see a common friend's husband kissing another man, would you voice your concern?
- you are in the bus and you see a guy having his hand in a lady's bag, would you voice your concern?
- your friend comes over and his/her mouth stinks, would you voice your concern?
- you see strange people lurking around your neighbour's car, would you voice your concern?
- you see a child alone in the street and later see a man talking to that child before leaving with the kid, would you voice your concern?

I dont just tag one friend just because we share a common ground, i value that word, as such i would expect the application of the golden rule. I think i will hardly be friend(s) in the sense of the word with someone that has low self esteem as there will be more conflicting than agreeing opinions. I can only be friend with such a person if he/she is willing to let me lift her up or the person is so good to me that i can't help reciprocating.
- a common friend is the word you use and it best capture the parties in the original case in that miss B see Op as friend whilst Op sees her as class mate. So if the friend is a common one and i know she wont be moved by my findings, i will not waste my time. Howbeit if i call her friend and she calls me same with proofs, even if she says she does not need it, my caring self would do much to protect her unless where doing such will harm me. I will go the extra mile here because the one i call friend and calls me friend, may not like it initially or at all but knows me better to label me home breaker.

-If i see a guy trying to steal from a girl in a bus, i would tell because i want such a treatment if i was in her situation, even if the last girl i tried to save discarded my help, i would still tell because she is not the last girl and i know from experience somebody may also save me the way i saved her but if i knew the girl from experience does not like being saved like that or will throw my help at my face, i will respect my dignity and keep shut.

-I will tell the friend with a stinking mouth because i expect such from a friend.

-i will also tell on the other cases because i dont belong to the mind your business crew, i would be greatful to recieve such a help so why should i hold back such a help. When somebody has categorically told you what you call help is not help to him/her, that's where you draw the line. You dont force help on someone who doesnt want it otherwise you become the one who really need help.

MRBrownJ:
i am sorry but i have to disagree sista...
1) if that friend dont appreciate what i have to say then let her tell me that AFTER i have said my peace (and i subsequently remove that dumbass from my life).
2) i cant for any reason under the sun sit back and pretend that i didnt see anything that i saw, simply because my friends is weak or cant take the TRUTH! if they want to live in denial then so be it but they CANNOT/SHOULDNT expect me to lower myself to their cheap/weak levels, where we should bury our heads in the sand. where do we draw the line and why should we even lie//hide such petty things?!
3) how would you know what your friend can or cant take if you hide the truth from them?! it is NOT your call to make as a friend, and you should be brutally honest (or sugar coat the truth if you wish), regardless of the outcome.
4) why what i have to say should "resolve" anything?! so far as i know, the friend is telling her in good faith that it is just NOTHING... but it sure cant be dismissed without confirmation that it is "nothing"
i expect NO less from people i call my friends (or anyone for that matter) because i know i am clean. the people who are against such issues are the one that aint clean, because only ill deeds will break up a union. so let us all grow some backbone here and stop accepting/settling for a state of mind where everyone is pretending like zombies; where everyone is afraid to be themselves; where we protect any suspicious actions for fear of hurting some poor desperate sod who cant take the bloody truth!

There are friends and there is friend!
Friends are mere acquaintances here and there. Friends are the ones to whom you give the much you can afford not expecting anything in return.

The ones you should attach the sacred word friend to, are those whom you give much and expect much in return, like having your back because you got theirs?

Where to draw the line? From conversations and actions over time, you should know if you have a friend. It is either miss B was not sensitive enough to know the one she calls friend, only see her as former classmate as stated here in this thread or she is living in denial after knowing the mindset of her supposed friend because they seem not to have anything in common. However if after this episode, miss B does not redefined what she termed friendship with the Op, then she is on a "long thing". Now i hate to say this but it is the truth; this is also what is also brewing problems between feminists and non feminists here. Some non feminists would rather embrace the devil than a feminist, vice versa. Knowing this, they (especially feminist) should state their opinions because they want to and know when not to waste their time on certain people or situations to avoid unnecessary fights.

^^bukatyne.

Ok to those seeing otherwise. To the aprokos, i dont want to escalate issues.

Gboliwe:
Sniff gini kwa? Are they"shearing" cocaine abi is heroine now sniffed too?
Even with this my extralarge nose, I can't sniff anything at all.

This OP writes better than the other bebe. (insults un-intended) the other bebe be the original cut and join, this one is just an apprentice. Na work she still dey learn.

Did you notice the fullstop thingy maziomenuko used in fishing her out, the tone in the history with this moniker. I think she put up her best with this one like the first time she introduced bimbotosi.. But its ok if you see otherwise.

byvan03:
You saw her ? Viewing?

Not viewing, i mean with this moniker, then in my last convo with her here i told her to erase her spots if she isnt jenny, she ran since then. She may still come to say she isnt but we cant be easily decieved by her anymore.
I also hope we are wrong but its too glaring.

byvan03:
Isn't the grammar here clearer?hope we are wrong.

Unfortunately, i think we are right. It is "clearest" in the history, even the fullstop. She was here all morning but ran immediately i called her out.

byvan03:
I sniff am wella, Chai!!

This place is dangerous. Saints are the devil we are seeing.

Can you sniff what I'm percieving/Op/the history...jennyluv here..
Cc ...

Chidoks:
Thanks.this is a real life situation.me doing dinner, she calling.yes i asked her to mind her business but i sent a text.i even called the yesterday and she refused picking..it's true we have known for a long time but to me marriage is different..maybe i should have asked her to wait till when she bumps into them again then she could chip in something about madam..i think that's what i should tell her but telling is not in my place to do.i don't want to be involved in any matrimonial crisis.

Alright...

Chidoks:
@GHojes, i am not living in denial; not me i'm not.when i typed those words i was genuinely worried about Mrs C.i did't applaud myself, wasn't looking for more applauds.i don't believe in divorce.i believe it should be the last resort in any union thus i do all in my power not to make anyone divorce their spouces ad i'm not ready to divorce mine.
yes they were my secondary school mates.we each have our ways and styles but we get together as often as we can( which is rare) to catch up on things.i don't do bestfriends.my best friend is my husband.my closest friends are my kids.
my greatest problem is being sincere here.that hubby cheated, begged even with a new car then i forgave and moved on is not a crime.it doesn't mean i'm living in denial.i shared that to assurs youner women that it's possible to forgive if you can.
i decided not to discuss the matter with Miss B because it would profit me nothing to listen to how a man cheats his wife.i knew i would do nothing about it so why should i urge her to go on.it is not my business.ii have a lot on my plate that renders such idle gosdip inconsequential.why didn't she go ahead and call Mrs C? why must she rope me in? i make my stand known, they know it , i don't discuss people.it pained me that you said i'm living in denial.forgiving an erring partner is not that bad.he promised not to do it again and i believe him.i might have as well come here, beat my chest and decleare that he wouldn't dare try it or that i would divorce him if he tries it afterwards but it will not profit me a thing. i have love in my heart and that's all i'm capable of giving.we all must not be fighters.

Sorry if what i said pained you, i hate to deliberately make one feel bad. You know the man here dosen't seem remorseful, will most likely not be unless caught and there is a high probability that if he is not caught early enough he will never be remorseful.
Did you explain your stance to missB exactly the way you just did to me, i mean not just saying the mind your business thing because she may never know unless you tell her. Like i hinted before, that's where i faulted her, if you were my friend all these years i would have realise you dont do close friends and not be stupid to come to you with a thing like this. If you are certain, she knows your stance, and still came to you, then she need to grow up.

Onegai:
Here's the thing though: each person is different. If my friend sees something, she will know how to approach me with the news. That's why we're friends. I can get angry but I will know "this person will never deliberately hurt me so she's telling me this to help me". For her, I'd tail her husband and the other woman (our friendship has knacked 20 years, we good with boundaries ) and confirm without a doubt what I saw, then tactfully approach her, or better yet, noisily approach hubby and other girl with a "hey just ran into you! wassup! can i hang out for a while, how's madam, let me even tell her now now I'm with you... " etc.

Yeah what you have up there is the thing, but is also not out of place if she seeks the support of the other leg in the tripod for a better tactful presentation to the affected friend.

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033]


Dont you think categorising people in this forum into groups is a bit off mark?

We will admit people have diverse opinions about issues and they will try and air the views in their own way...sometimes offensive to others sometimes not.

Having said that, I think all posters should just post along the line of their belief instead of looking out to post as a "group" and calling "others" who dont believe as anti-whatever.

Life is simple....really simple....make your opinion known and stick to your belief while not trying to change others.

Peace is all we want after all.[/color]

You caught yourself and deleted the name you earlier mentioned, too late because your group stance prompted your comment. You also are guilty and its worse because you are a mod, what you dont know is that it can only not been seen if it is not there, so its obvious.
We all are hypocrite at one point or the other, knowingly and unknowingly we try to make the contrary opinion buy into ours regardless of what is the truth which is why the master say there's no one that is good. However between the feminist and non feminist group, there are those who bare out their bellies and there are those who dont talk unless in the midst of their comfort groups but has "unpleasantaries" in their belly, quite dangerous. Let him who is wise learn quickly.

Mynd44:
I love my GF but she does not exist

Why did you give up on friicoco so soon, forget all those her stubborness and bombard her with the Pms.
The pm when you politically correctly say make "she" send you, you sure you go value the one you nor chase. Anyways good success to Yous.

My Opinion on this matter is that i would not be happy to see the one to whom i attached the "sacred" word friend to not tell me the truth as it is. Its like i'm unknowingly walking naked with the my friend and everyone else knowing yet my friend prefered minding business to me being mocked.
I value the word friend, so before i attach it to anyone, we most likely should have like mind or influence one another, known each other well enough. If i was miss B, having spend all these years with Op, i would have been able to determine her possible answer and not waste my time, who knows, Mrs C also reason like the Op, knows her man cheats, automatically miss B's help is useless and she becomes the enermy among the three friends.

Onegai:
This is probably the best way to handle it: tactfully. It sounds more like Miss C was calling to share bad news gleefully. I mean, she got passed when shut down, rather than reflect on what had happened. She could have gone to say "hello" to the husband and watch him squirm, but she called the OP first. Her motives don't seem right. I personally want my friend telling me if they see anything and I have told when I saw/heard, with a lot of tact.

I dont think she came to share bad news with glee, it was not her first time of seeing them. She prolly didnt know how best to handle it as a result, she told Op who is also friend with the Mrs. I see that it is the care she had for her friend that made her to be angry with the "mind your business answer Op gave her" and that also made her question their friendship going by what the Op said. If she was a mere gossip/carrier of bad news, she could have said it the first time she saw them, go ahead to tell Mrs. Even Op described her as the most comely lady she knows, she could not just have turned to a gossip if Op has not noticed her gossiping any of the friends before. I think she came for Op and her to put heads together to see how they can tell their friends, if Op had told her to confront the man, i think she would have accepted it than the mind your business when its friends involued.
What if your friend has seen your man twice or more in compromising situations with another woman and your friend was at a distance or position that did not allow her confront your man, would you rather have her tell you or wait for another opportunity when she is able to confront him first. Also which will you do if its your friend's man.

Phema:
Unfortunately, that is the kind of friendship that is most common in this superficial world. Friendship of convenience. As long as we can still shine fake teeth together, we are best of friends. What happened to telling your friend the hard core truth even when it hurts?

It is this "mind your business" ish that got us where are are today. You see someone stealing another blind - mind your business. Boko haram kidnaps 200 girls - mind your business, afterall, they are not your children or sisters. You see a man raping a neighbour's 8 year old daughter - mind your business. Very soon, the world will go down under. And to think that many of them call themselves christians.

If I were to be in Mrs C's shoes and get to find out that my so called two best friends were in on something that could put my family at risk (with proof ofcourse) and didn't even bother giving me a heads up, that will be the end of that friendship. If you can't be real with me, you may as well not be called a 'friend'.

To each his own.

You really shouldnt expect one that can see her man cheat and turn a blind eye, living in self denial do differently with another; one can't give what one dont have.
The thing with this mind your business is that you may eventually do business with the "another's business" because one dont do business with himself alone. We dont live in isolation.
Now she boldly tells you she doesnt do best friend crap, something she has not boldly own up to her friends all these years because for the friendship to have continued from secondary school till now, miss B certainly dont see her as mere " classmate", the term she used to qualify them first before friend. I bet you she has finished applauding herself for doing the right thing, she only came here for more applause. Op, your tone so far, says your title is a rhetorical question.

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

If this your story is true, dont let what have been said thus far make you feel so bad to the point of hidding, come out and clarify things more to enable us decipher whether it is lust or not. Btw, if you are told here not to go ahead will you really cancel the next month wedding?
Although i'm seeing lust but i dont want to dismiss your feelings easily.
When did you meet the new guy?
Is the new guy also attracted to you?
What is it about this guy that makes you feel you will be happier with him?
Did you feel the way you feel for the new guy?
What are the issues you said you are having with your fiancee?
Answer with all honesty as you really have nothing to lose.

Nnemuka:
Jennylove is human too, imagine 1million people on this thread calling her names and making jest of her at the same time. ofcourse it is normal to flare up and say unimaginable things while angry.
What do you expect me to say, i read some post and it was obvious that majority of them laughing at her english and tearing her apart are yoruba.

Immediately i said i know Jennylove, with my username signifying my region all of them descended on me calling me a thief and a partner in crime.who does that?

Like she said, she doesnt owe you and has talked to the OP. they have agreed till end of september so dont come and tell her how to pay back money she is owing. If by end of september she doesnt pay then you are free to consult your god and call on your soldier brother residing at sambisa.

It is all these your character of i am the wiser/smarter that got jenny into trouble initially. It was the way jenny handled the matter at the start that made people hurled insults even before knowing her tribe, as a matter of fact, jenny spewed the first insult on this thread even when she was on the wrong and i wondered why you didnt cautioned her then. I mean you couldnt put yourself to feel the OP's pain to caution jenny but you felt her pain to comment only because of tribalism.
The issue with the two tribes did not start with this thread and wont stop with this thread. Agreed that the Yorubas are having it but the people going miles for OP are not Yorubas, again is it not jenny's shait that attracted flies and; if you will be honest, it could have been the Igbo's day, if jenny was Yoruba. You could have watched on the side like the other Igbos feeling your pain or speak peace without promoting tribal war on the thread that was already cooling with jenny's last few statements.
You started like you were coming to cool jenny when indeed you came for tribal fight, something Gboliwe already peacefully achieved. With all your ability to feed an entire family for a year, i would have thought you would lend jenny the money, instead you advised her to seek elsewhere. If you even want to drag tribe into this, jenny started it " because them no born jenny well" to treat her Igbo sister the way she did OP.
I wonder how aside tribalism, you cant see the joy that the op's money that was lost for 9months now, infact could have been forever gone is about to be recovered or even that jenny may change her ways after this as she could have carried on to someone else that may demand her life in return instead of the goods. Take your advise to jenny and let September lead the way forward.

apexquest:
U gave very good points, I acknowledge them. But to assume I bought that car for fancy is wrong sir. A primera doesn't meet fancy requirements. More so, I never left marriage hanging: its next year.

Alright good success.

MarvellousGod:
Hello food nairalanders,

How long can I store zobo drink in my fridge? Heard it doesn't taste good after about 7 days, how true please?

Thanks. ...

You can store up to a month in the freezer and possibly more given the right conditions. The taste doesnt go bad par say, it ferments, giving it a wine like taste; that's how many wine are produced. It is the psychological zobo taste expectation people dont get after 7days that makes them conclude its bad. I know some people who will prefare to leave it for days in order to have that old wine taste.

FriedPlantain:
Chai see how I take dey salivate for here like donkey, I'm sure the food would taste just a good as it looks. Tchidi is really really a good cooker.

It is called cook not cooker. What a "cookpy" name, lolz.

Idowuogbo:
.

No waste your saliva again o, make we no go confuse you join the mad woman.

[quote author=Jennylov post=37443596][/quote]She that the gods (satan) want to destroy, they first make mad.

[quote author=colossus2 post=37431126][/quote]Kindness to the poor is a loan to the LORD, and he will give a reward to the lender- Proverbs 19:17 (HCSB).

disloman:
R u talking abt just building a house just 4 having a house sake or u take ur tyme n build what u desire.Everyone has his or her own opinion but car is important in marriage especially u n ur family going to church n mount a bike?Baba God!Answer my prayer ooooo.

Read well before you hasten to quote, i'm not the uncle that asked him to buy land neither did i suggested building is own accomodation. I only hinted on him renting his own space to have a feel of responsibilities, being responsible and prioritising. I as well suggested 2 or 3 other things he could have done to expand his income before car purchase and marriage.
The matter that really brought the op here was not even misplaced priority but that of non working priority. That was why he felt the car was a mistake although it is, that was why he readily made his uncle's not immediately feasible land purchase his next priority leaving marriage hanging in the air not that it had a fixed place previously either. As a matter of fact, he is just taking suggestions now to make one. OP before now bought that car because the money was in his hand, i wouldnt have mind if he bought it considering its cost saving advantage over public transportation. Before this thread if he will be honest to himself, he would have spend his next reasonable savings on the next fancy that catches his attention.