The thing most average Nigerians have been at the receiving end of entitled relatives and well wishers so i get him. You get a mortgage, they assume you earn so much but i could tell your post was different. Maybe something else is up with your sis though .....

CosmicDust:


Don't mind the lowlife please. Says he has a house and house like who gives a fck. He didn't even comprehend my story before going on his tirade like i am the reason behind his problems.
xevove2061or whatever you call yourself, i will bring issues i want to Nairaland anonymously. If that hurts you, your choice to harm yourself. I won't let foolish comments like his spoil the wonderful advise many have given me here.

Shes not paying the fees from his write up. I personally dont expect anything from people. Some people dont even get to say thank you after a ' huge' favour. Do i dwell on it? A little but more importantly we meuve!

xevove2061:


I cannot speak for other children. I maintain that children need to take care of their parents because their lives stopped when they birthed us. I am that aware. I kmow what parents go through, i have seen the good, bad and uhly in how i was raised as a kid. I still maontain that, that girl is not doing anything wrong. She is already paying fees for another sibling, plus se ding 40k momthly to her parent. What about the boys in the house. What are they doing. If that dirty cosmixdust boy is saying he sends 70k to his parents too, thats 110k, which is very good for monthly feeding atleast. What else do they want from the girl? My salary in naira runs into 8 figures monhly and i still do not see what i use the momey for, if not to pay one bill or the other and the sisters case is not different. Why will a grown ass married man bring this kind of issue here in the first place when he should, as a matter of fact, up hos contribution frok his side and his siblings side if he feels his elder sister is not bringing enough to the table.

Please lets keep it real. Her parents invested in her by setting funds aside to pay part of her tuition. Its possible somethings have gone wrong with respect to her expectations but wat happens to communication. Her folks may be civil servants, we dont know. Her mum is so hurt and has refused to speak to her. She can reach out to her, explain whatever is making life hellish to her and get the blessings of a mother.

xevove2061:


Make she drop from pedestal abi? Shebi na one italy girl wey her family share money wey she send them use build house, she say she wan come back, them dey tell am male she no come.

Thank you for penning my thoughts so eloquently

sammiewrite:
I don't have all the facts about OP's story as such I would carefully avoid commenting in that regard. What I want to react to rather, are comments of the so-called "wokes" on this thread. I wouldn't be typing plenty but I just want to drop few lines for some of us to keep in mind.
1. [b]Taking care of one's aged parents who clearly lacks the means is not entitlement. It isn't someone trying to "extort you" either.
2. Whether you like it or not raising kids in Africa is a sacrifice. Most of our parents don't have the economic opportunities of the countries we're trying to copy. They often had to choose between saving or investing at all costs or choosing their kids. [/b]Most times they choose their kids and now you want to tell me this is not sacrifice?

Naija is a mess. All these paltry amounts are creating an enabling environment for corruption

larrypourl:


I know FIRS pays well but you see that ministry your brother works. Except he's into runs,he's monthly real salary can't feed him comfortably for a month. Don't be deceived by the AC, big office, secretary and security you see around oo. My boss has spent 35years in service and his total take home is 318k after all mandatory deductions and that's even an agency that pays better than ministries. The only way to be liberated as a civil servant in Naija is to have a business of your own or if you're opportune to be in an office with runs or get good jobs in FG agencies and parastatals. Some of those Assistant Directors in ministries don't take home 250k at the end of the month and have bills waiting for you. Any govt job you're doing without an extra income is penury cos by 2nd week of the month, salary don finish

Wetin be this

Les:
with all due respect, sir, may curse be upon thee if you ever fail to retrieve that $100 from her.

Just negodu who cares?

Controlla123:


If I report her, dem go say I dey find the downfall of my fellow Nigerian

Yes it stayed by Gods grace. Bedrest, pregnacare as well....

UyaiIncomparabl:


Did the pregnancy stay after you took the progesterone injections? We are about taking same route for my friend. She has lost about 3 pregnancies consecutively. I have advised her to see her doctor to give her Duphastone supplementation. Or perhaps her cervix is open, so we are looking at having a cervical cerclage done.

I second a test for progesterone. 1st pregnancy i had 4 threatened miscarriages till the doc placed me on weekly progesterone injections. Next time I was pregnant, I was putting pressure on the doctors to give me same injections and they basically said there was no need.

Please take her to a good gynecologist.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Several factors could have led to the frequent miscarriages she had which sometimes is usually hard to pinpoint. Reasons such as;

* Low progesterone levels
* Chromosomal abnormality of the fetus.
* Incompetent cervix (low progesterone levels can cause this).
* Production of poor egg/sperm quality as they can form abnormal fetuses.
* Untreated infections.
* Hormonal imbalances (low progesterone levels are one of such). etc.
————————————

Let her have her progesterone level checked and a full hormonal profile test done to ward off any possibility of hormonal imbalance. Progesterone creates a healthy uterine lining to support a fertilized egg, embryo and fetus. If progesterone levels are too low during pregnancy, it could cause complications such as bleeding or miscarriage.

Also, her cervix could be incompetent, that is, it contracts, weakens and opens too early during pregnancy. This can as well lead to a miscarriage which still leads us back to low progesterone levels. Progesterone supplementations may help and as well, cervical cerclage.

Also, let her make sure she has no untreated infections as this can also lead to a miscarriage.

There’s also no proof that stress, sexual intercourse or strenuous activities can lead to a miscarriage. They are unfounded. However, it’s better to be safe than sorry. A friend has had over 3 miscarriages. We did bed rest, no trekking, limited movements, everything on this green earth, yet the pregnancies went down.

Hope she starts her ante-natal care very early and take her multivitamins religiously. Speak to your gynecologist as you may not be able to get the full answers here. May this one stay. Best of luck.

The question is how much does the op give his parents and siblings? How much did the parents contribute to covering her tuition?

Now, assuming there are issues shes facing, wat stops her from opening up to her mum? Ive been in situations where people have had high expectations of me and sometimes the only way out is to confide in them on why their expectations are truly unreasonable.

xevove2061:


How much do you give your own parents? Lets start from there.

The thing is the Op is not rich for Gods sake. Hes hustling honestly. You might feel hes entitled but hes just venting. Most of his giving is sacrificial in nature and sometimes he might actually feel that his own sister is ENTITLED, cos who does she think is bearing the brunt of the financial expenses?

@ op, don't get worked up. Life happens everytime.

spiralwedge:


You are stvpid for blaming your inability to read and comprehend on me.

Who overstays a student visa in canada for chrissakes? When you can transit to a PR? And, its not only about bringing the money, she can point her siblings in the right direction.... its not rocket science tori olorun.

like1:


If this is not entitlement mentality I don't know what is it. OP do what you can do for your parents without complaining. No dey look your older sister. If you no fit too, lock up too and stop being a baby.

Your sister sends 40k monthly, she is already trying. You re calculating how much is 40k in Canadian dollars. You are even expecting your sister who has spent only 5 years in Canada to be able to have enough money to bring you abroad. If your sister id actually who you say she is, it is obvious entitlement mentality from your side is a major factor to the way she behaves.

Because there is nothing she ever does that will be appreciated.

Moreover, do you know her burdens in Canada, have you tried to inquire? Does she work as a student? 20 hours a week? Has she overstayed her visa and not able to renew and now staying illegally? What is her status in Canada.

Sometimes, they prefer to spend on burial. Burial go come resemble wedding...

Mumusaphire:
hmm mm. U are right, but many people are just heartless. They won't change no matter what. I also have a brother here in Nigeria, abuja, our first born. Doing well, real big man, working in federal ministry of justice, abuja, na real Senior staff ooooo, that before u get to his office, u must pass many securities. To cut a story short, he can't help financially, he can't help getting we his siblings a job, or connect us. Even his wife also work in federal interner revenue in abuja, high rank also. Last too weeks, I was so down, even till now, but am just managing myself. I summoned my courage to call him because have knew that he won't help. I sent him message on WhatsApp with prove of my health. It was on sat that day, election day. He replied that haha, that i should pls give her till Monday, that he will run around to help me. I thought in my mind that my brother want run around on top how much. Even have spend more than 50k before I decided to msg him. At last, it was on Thursday my brother sent me money. I was surprised to see just 5k. So u can see many of them can't change, but just heartless. But they can donates for church to show off.

I know its hard but just remove your mind and do the best you can for your parents.

CosmicDust:


Thank you. On the last sentence, I really don't give a hoot about her existence. Only one of the kids is dependent at the moment, and will soon get out of it. My own is let us pity our parents at least.

How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...

Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care

Everyday? I'm an ugba freak too but everyday, nah

That's also a possibility but I dont want to assume

shantti:

Have u considered the fact that the wife might naturally be a wicked and bitter person

Keep your insults to yourself. The guy in question has displayed enormous maturity but rude upstarts like you dont know better than being rude to anyone that has a different opinion. Again, I reiterate my question was never intended for you. Now, run along and get something doing

Justbehave:
Your question sounded so dumb. Shift abeg as if you don't know that she didn't need to be a bad mil before women like you hate.Answer my question nah. This shows you can do worst than ops wife for you to be asking such.

Im just interested. His mum sounds so nice so why will the wife not want her around. The question is not intended for you though cos everything is manipulation to the manipulative........

Justbehave:
All this manipulative questions won't help you. Just say the truth. If your husband doesn't want your people around for no reason, would you want his?

Waoh, the story is sooo strange? Was it a question of her being too religious for your wife and frowning at her actions or dressing? Did you have househelps or your wife was scared to be overwhelmed by the labour? There just might be another angle....

ozalogbo:
As I read some of your comments, I smiled. Let me provide some information about my mum: she was a born again Christian, a genuine one. She belonged to those holiness preaching denomination. She was a peaceful person. When I stamped my feet and said no! she would be the one to say no, my son.
She would be the one to say, 'What God has joined together, let no one put asunder'. And she would quietly take her leave, against my stand. That was a big problem. She would say, instead of there to be trouble in your home because of me, I better leave. She was TOO peaceful

So, wats so different about the story of David? I smell fear and guilt from your yarnings. A word is enuf for the wise so kuku desist from away match. Ndi God is love

Mrsoft3:



so you are saying the price of adultery is the cause of this death?


why do you people make GOD look like such a wicked GOD? if I talk now you go bring david story to use attack me but the case of David is entirely different and not even compared to this.


GOD is love and just he is merciful and will forever remain merciful, he wnt kill your child because of sin that is in herent in man. this man said he wants to have a second wife but una say no, him kuku give her belle una say adultery. the fear of society is largely responsible for many cheating married men. some of them have the capacity to manage the whole number they want to mnge but the fear of what you just said up there has made many of them to do it secretly.

Sounds like cancer....

Should we tell her? Laffing in nwantiti

Well...

candyguyofficia:


I'm not really against the woman telling the husband although telling him will definitely lead to a major confrontation except the man do not have action. My major concern is that she is soo gullible and naive, she has a wife is the reason why most married men do not live long.

Now the husband is the poster husband for everything a bad husband is and her testimony if not don well or done right will make the husband look like a beast and that she was forced by her husband to testify in church to discredit the "pastor"

She still had the guts to tell the husband so the man go vex more. She should have come up with a reason to leave the church....

candyguyofficia:
I didn't want to comment earlier on but you the wife you are the one that has brought disrespect and great dishonour to your family. You should be glad if your husband finds it in his heart to forgive you for having a poor sense of judgement and for been overly naive.

Now that you have testify and corrected that wrong impression of the pastor before that congregation (which is the right thing to do ALTHOUGH it depends on what you said and how you do it because your type might still praise the pastor again in the testimony and downplay that your pastor was wrong to discuss your private matter without consent and for lying also).

I would advise you leave that church ASAP. Don't meet the pastor again either alone or with your husband, disassociate your household from that church. Do not allow the pastor pray for you or anoint your head with any oil (somethings you may not understand and from how I see you that you can't ever understand so i wont bother going deeper) .

Find a bible believing church and join, for where you currently worship is a den of wolves. I won't be surprised if the church is a one man church.

Leave that church and find another (not one man church) that truly preach the word.

A word is enough for the wise.
Mummytoo

Sincerely you too naive for a wife. I pray God give your husband the wisdom to handle his home and you because one needs more wisdom when interacting with you. May God help your husband

What has your husband been hiding for years?

This is horrible

Mindlog:


They would with much engagement. I remember when I did a project in a public primary school some years back in Lagos, a good number of the girls from primary 4 to 6 were househelps and there was a particular girl in primary 5 who was brought into the headmistress office where I was discussing with her, the girl had belt marks all over body because she resisted being inappropriately touched at home[right][/right].

You say youre fine outside the normal squabbles, but wat does your wife think? You think your wife is scared of her brothers but are you sure, its not you shes scared of?

Give more info thatll help you get better advice. What are your squabbles about? What do her brothers expect? Money?

Dogalmighty17:
My inlaws have been intruding into my marraige and i want to teach them a lesson. My wife is terrified of her brothers and she cant tell them to back off.
I will not tolerate that kind off rubbish. Since they want to be mad, I'll show them better madness. They might say they'll return the bride price i paid to me. I need to be prepared for that eventuality.

As a sidenote, i and my wife are fine outside the normal husband and wife squabbles. Her family just keeps poke nosing. And I'm sick of it.

Since its her spouse, its her prerogative.
I'll definitely have been sterner but i and my conscience can live with it. She may not be able to comprehend reporting him but first things first, remove the minor from an unsafe environment.

Mindlog:


No, those who have the best interest of the minor in mind should have him reported to the Police and have him arrested and prosecuted, so he can spend some time in prison and away from minors.

I have personally intervened in a case where the house help was 15 at the time and have been severally defiled by the man of the house and the wife finally got the girl sent back to the village and got a new girl to take care of their 3 kids.

I got people to help me trace the abused minor to her village and brought her back to Lagos and got the pedophile and his wife arrested for being his enabler, their relatives were pleading that they have 3 small kids all under the age 7 as the youngest was months old, that it can be settled outside the judicial system, DVSTR (Lagos State) had the woman released but the husband is still in custody while awaiting trial

You don't report sexual abusers to their families, report them to the law.

And if she is, isn't it logical to resolve wateva is making a sane woman deny her husband his rights. Assuming, shes unreasonable and hes comfortable with adultery, are there are no adults and even prostitutes, side chics whose consent he can receive to commit his adultery with?

Abroad, he can be arrested and placed on a sexual offenders list for messing with a minor. Im sure when he ends up with a criminal record, he can justify it by saying his wife was denying him his rights.

malaria:
Are you denying him his right ?

By eurostar, its about 2.5 hours from Paris to london. By air, its just about 1 hour 30 mins.

Sahara and people gazette may be lying or one of them is lying but the timing of the CJN's trip with the Jagaban's own doesn't seem like a coincidence to me.

JuanDeDios:

The way I read it, SR says TINUBU is in Paris. PG says ARIWOOLA is in London. When I read both accounts, I understood it to mean that Mr Tinubu would soon show up in London to meet Mr Ariwoola. If both accounts are true.

How hard is it to fly from Paris to London for a meeting and fly back?