₦airaland Forum

Everyday? I'm an ugba freak too but everyday, nah

That's also a possibility but I dont want to assume

shantti:
Have u considered the fact that the wife might naturally be a wicked and bitter person

Keep your insults to yourself. The guy in question has displayed enormous maturity but rude upstarts like you dont know better than being rude to anyone that has a different opinion. Again, I reiterate my question was never intended for you. Now, run along and get something doing

Justbehave:
Your question sounded so dumb. Shift abeg as if you don't know that she didn't need to be a bad mil before women like you hate.Answer my question nah. This shows you can do worst than ops wife for you to be asking such.

Im just interested. His mum sounds so nice so why will the wife not want her around. The question is not intended for you though cos everything is manipulation to the manipulative........

Justbehave:
All this manipulative questions won't help you. Just say the truth. If your husband doesn't want your people around for no reason, would you want his?

Waoh, the story is sooo strange? Was it a question of her being too religious for your wife and frowning at her actions or dressing? Did you have househelps or your wife was scared to be overwhelmed by the labour? There just might be another angle....

ozalogbo:
As I read some of your comments, I smiled. Let me provide some information about my mum: she was a born again Christian, a genuine one. She belonged to those holiness preaching denomination. She was a peaceful person. When I stamped my feet and said no! she would be the one to say no, my son.
She would be the one to say, 'What God has joined together, let no one put asunder'. And she would quietly take her leave, against my stand. That was a big problem. She would say, instead of there to be trouble in your home because of me, I better leave. She was TOO peaceful

So, wats so different about the story of David? I smell fear and guilt from your yarnings. A word is enuf for the wise so kuku desist from away match. Ndi God is love

Mrsoft3:
so you are saying the price of adultery is the cause of this death?


why do you people make GOD look like such a wicked GOD? if I talk now you go bring david story to use attack me but the case of David is entirely different and not even compared to this.


GOD is love and just he is merciful and will forever remain merciful, he wnt kill your child because of sin that is in herent in man. this man said he wants to have a second wife but una say no, him kuku give her belle una say adultery. the fear of society is largely responsible for many cheating married men. some of them have the capacity to manage the whole number they want to mnge but the fear of what you just said up there has made many of them to do it secretly.

Sounds like cancer....

Should we tell her? Laffing in nwantiti

Well...

candyguyofficia:
I'm not really against the woman telling the husband although telling him will definitely lead to a major confrontation except the man do not have action. My major concern is that she is soo gullible and naive, she has a wife is the reason why most married men do not live long.

Now the husband is the poster husband for everything a bad husband is and her testimony if not don well or done right will make the husband look like a beast and that she was forced by her husband to testify in church to discredit the "pastor"

She still had the guts to tell the husband so the man go vex more. She should have come up with a reason to leave the church....

candyguyofficia:
I didn't want to comment earlier on but you the wife you are the one that has brought disrespect and great dishonour to your family. You should be glad if your husband finds it in his heart to forgive you for having a poor sense of judgement and for been overly naive.

Now that you have testify and corrected that wrong impression of the pastor before that congregation (which is the right thing to do ALTHOUGH it depends on what you said and how you do it because your type might still praise the pastor again in the testimony and downplay that your pastor was wrong to discuss your private matter without consent and for lying also).

I would advise you leave that church ASAP. Don't meet the pastor again either alone or with your husband, disassociate your household from that church. Do not allow the pastor pray for you or anoint your head with any oil (somethings you may not understand and from how I see you that you can't ever understand so i wont bother going deeper) .

Find a bible believing church and join, for where you currently worship is a den of wolves. I won't be surprised if the church is a one man church.

Leave that church and find another (not one man church) that truly preach the word.

A word is enough for the wise.
Mummytoo

Sincerely you too naive for a wife. I pray God give your husband the wisdom to handle his home and you because one needs more wisdom when interacting with you. May God help your husband

What has your husband been hiding for years?

This is horrible

Mindlog:
They would with much engagement. I remember when I did a project in a public primary school some years back in Lagos, a good number of the girls from primary 4 to 6 were househelps and there was a particular girl in primary 5 who was brought into the headmistress office where I was discussing with her, the girl had belt marks all over body because she resisted being inappropriately touched at home[right][/right].

You say youre fine outside the normal squabbles, but wat does your wife think? You think your wife is scared of her brothers but are you sure, its not you shes scared of?

Give more info thatll help you get better advice. What are your squabbles about? What do her brothers expect? Money?

Dogalmighty17:
My inlaws have been intruding into my marraige and i want to teach them a lesson. My wife is terrified of her brothers and she cant tell them to back off.
I will not tolerate that kind off rubbish. Since they want to be mad, I'll show them better madness. They might say they'll return the bride price i paid to me. I need to be prepared for that eventuality.

As a sidenote, i and my wife are fine outside the normal husband and wife squabbles. Her family just keeps poke nosing. And I'm sick of it.

Since its her spouse, its her prerogative.
I'll definitely have been sterner but i and my conscience can live with it. She may not be able to comprehend reporting him but first things first, remove the minor from an unsafe environment.

Mindlog:
No, those who have the best interest of the minor in mind should have him reported to the Police and have him arrested and prosecuted, so he can spend some time in prison and away from minors.

I have personally intervened in a case where the house help was 15 at the time and have been severally defiled by the man of the house and the wife finally got the girl sent back to the village and got a new girl to take care of their 3 kids.

I got people to help me trace the abused minor to her village and brought her back to Lagos and got the pedophile and his wife arrested for being his enabler, their relatives were pleading that they have 3 small kids all under the age 7 as the youngest was months old, that it can be settled outside the judicial system, DVSTR (Lagos State) had the woman released but the husband is still in custody while awaiting trial

You don't report sexual abusers to their families, report them to the law.

And if she is, isn't it logical to resolve wateva is making a sane woman deny her husband his rights. Assuming, shes unreasonable and hes comfortable with adultery, are there are no adults and even prostitutes, side chics whose consent he can receive to commit his adultery with?

Abroad, he can be arrested and placed on a sexual offenders list for messing with a minor. Im sure when he ends up with a criminal record, he can justify it by saying his wife was denying him his rights.

malaria:
Are you denying him his right ?

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12 years old. You need to return the maid and look out for your daughters. If he has actually abused her, he needs to be reported to his family and religious organisation. He's a sexual offender and he definitely doesn't have any sympathy from me.

That sounds strange but why do u care so much wat she think. Restrict her access to your feeds.... also, I think you are overthinking this

mamagee3:
[color=deeppink]If she thinks I need Jesus then why does she always post videos about motor vehicle accidents just because I had posted my new car?[/color]

Nah, she thinks you need Jesus and i think so too...

mamagee3:
[color=deeppink]Hello, facebook friend posts Christian/ motivational videos/ reels whenever I am online. I can’t even remember the last time she posted pictures of herself like she used to in the past.

She never likes my posts but “loves” other’s post including her brother and mutual friends. Since we connected on Facebook three years ago, she has only liked two or three photos of mine

But she would ignore mine and instead post Christian memes. I have a feeling she’s jealous of me. What do you all think?[/color]

Ah abi

tensazangetsu20:
. Probably he meant a future second wife.

Its nice but i cant eat it with swallow. It is similar to peppersoup.............

descarado:
Ahnie
Spicy chicken and fish light soup.
Ghana special.

My only problem of which I keep asking them is how they eat that. Its just like water.

After a wife and 2 children, you want him to get a future wife based on a smile, no less

Wodu89:
Choose it. It puts you in the spotlight where you meet alot of people, unlike teaching job that can box you in a room people hardly meet you. You may even meet your future wife out of the many girls that smile to you. You also learn new skill and set of experiences.

Watever.....

MrBrownJay1:
its called BEING REAL, and has nothing to do with being sensitive and/or emotional (about this issue)... like many of you women out there.
you'd rather a man be miserable for the rest of his life, with a "possibly" infertile woman, rather than finding an easy solution to their problems.
ok madam...
***spit on floor***

May my paths never cross with anyone as insensitive as you. Peace

MrBrownJay1:
you see, you again are focussing on the wrong things.... you are hellbent on making this "possibly" infertile wife happy, while i am just trying to give MY opinion on what the OP should do. but hey, we DONT have to have the same opinion on this subject. you have yours and i have mine.

see how you are quick to come up with irrelevant issues such as:
A) the feelings of the possibly" infertile wife (while disregarding the feelings of the husband) and/or B) their marriage being "only" 3 yrs old (while disregarding that it takes just a second to get someone pregnant) and/or C) them possibly wasting millions on IVF (while disregarding the fact that it would be WAY cheaper to simply get a new wife)

we understand that NO woman wants to be looked at as a failure but sometimes you have to accept the facts. in Nigeria, this woman (who cant give her husband children) is a failure.
dont shoot the messenger and blame Nigerian society for that mindset!

Waoh, I marvel at your short sightedness. Heck, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I have a problem with magnifying wat the husband desires above so many things like his ultimate well being, his conscience and his wife's feelings.
Its just 3 years and hes yet to explore the Ivf option.

Omg at some Nig men and the kind of well meaning advise you all dish out on this Nairaland. Walahhi, I am in shock...

MrBrownJay1:
again, take away your misplaced emotions from that matter and instead focus on what this husband DESIRES. nothing else!

truly, who cares what that "possibly" infertile woman thinks?! marriage here doesnt matter; wifey here doesnt matter...what matters is that IN NIGERIAN SOCIETY, a married man needs children (even better if male ones). now, you can sit here and pretend that having children is NO BIG DEAL IN MARRIAGE (and you would somehow be right if you lived in the west), but not in Africa.

in Africa, having children in marriage is a BIG DEAL.... 99.999% of African men get married to have children, and if you take children out of the equation, then majority of these African men wouldnt get married, to begin with. so getting a 2nd wife is a Better solution than divorcing the "possibly" infertile 1st wife

at least, let us all be HONEST here.....

Go for the IVF. It is going to be cheaper in the long run. Its hormonal imbalance for Chrissakes no be say she be retired runs geh.

That 1.5m is probably what you will spend to marry second wife. What about the cost of HBP from everyday settling of quarrel from old and new wife? I Don't think all fertility clinics take 1.5m. I know at least one good one that takes less than 1m. Even if your heart is with the N1.5m own, you can raise the amount in 9 months.

Peace

Waoh, to hell with what a woman he took vows to cherish and care for throughout the course of their marriage thinks.

Yeah, I could buy into that school of thought if she was troublesome or a bad partner but for a health issue which is outside her control, waoh, just wawu

MrBrownJay1:
use your head wisely and stop focussing on what others want... ask yourself these simple questions: WHAT DO YOU WANT? and WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ATTAIN IT?
if you believe that the solution to your problem is to get a 2nd wife, then by all means, get a 2nd wife and to hell with what wife #1 is saying.

What is the essence of this picture? Is anyone disputing the pregnancy bayi?

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