₦airaland Forum

Good question..I got married in 2018 as a Male Nurse and I was earning a total of 150k per month from 2 jobs in Lagos. I live in a mini flat on the mainland with rent of 250k/year. My wife does petty business plus a monthly salary of 60k. To me, marriage has been a blessing. I now make an average of 300k monthly. I bought my first car last month comfortably and the family is fine

[quote author=osuofia2 post=87134451]AUDIO VIROLOGIST, WHAT IS THE BASIS OF YOUR ANALYSIS, IS NIGERIA HOTTER THAN IRAN?[/quote

Righteousness89:
An act like this will Naturally Make Corona Virus Boom in that Country...

There are certain things you don't do..

Blood speaks louder than what u imagine..

A Virus which source nor cure is unKnown.

Yet u Conciously kill someone who is affected thinking you have killed the Virus.

If this is True, It's Stupidity at its Peak!

It's like a Politician Guarding Himself with Soldiers against the Spirit of a Person he Murdered!

Lets try and comprehend what is written in this news. The said man refused to be quarantined...Thats a huge risk to human life in that country

NwaAmaikpe:




There's nothing to be ashamed of.
As a lawyer and a knight, I am sure he can prove his reasons, state the facts and still get into heaven.

I can bet it on your life that his wife was locking up the juicebox like it was a CBN vault.

This is 2020.
Wives must remember that alternatives exist.

You'd shag him on the first date and almost overrun him with sex all through your courting days just to trick him to marry you.
And when he does, you'd quit giving him sex blaming it on tiredness.

Even if you are a lawyer, a reverend, a policeman or a vulcanizer, as long as your wife who was once sex-loving no more gives you sex, get it from outside.
It is not a sin, it is survival.

And survival is a primal instinct.
It is only unfortunate that he died while trying to survive.

God bless you bro...Nigerians can be so judgmental. If only they know how married men suffers to get good sex from their wives, they wouldn’t blame this man for sleeping with a prostitute. Nigerian ladies and women have sex for a purpose, either for money, procreation or to lure a man to marriage. After marriage and delivery of a kid, they become uninterested in sex. The reason is because majority of them have been circumcised at their early age. Most married men are not happy sexually with their marriage

jenifer007:
Madam you are very wrong with your analysis.... Once you are married even your kids must not be a barrier when it comes to satisfying your man.....A reasonable married woman must know how to balance the equation....

Leave them oo..By the time the man starts having a side babe now, they will accuse him of cheating..They are not aware that sex is a physiological need, just like oxygen and food. All these single ladies that do not know what marriage entails, would come here and start giving rubbish advice..Rubbish

Cutehector:
very stupid I must join you to say

Very very stupid..I must add mine

I believe your bf has no problem. Its possible your bf was stressed up before the sex. Thats why a man last longer when he just wake up from sleep. Let him start sit-up exercises, sleeps atleast 6hrs a day, eat banana before sex, avoid alcohol or any herbal concoction, avoid sugary beverages, stop watching porn and masturbation. He should try losing weight if he is fat. He needs to also go for medical check up to check if he has Hypertension or Diabetics or any chronic medical condition. He should also do hormonal profile to have his testosterone checked if the above remedy do not work. Go ahead and marry him if you guys love each other.

The little research I made also showed that many people are not happy in their marriages but will come public to display their marriage or spouse as the next best thing. A woman can be receiving consistent beating from the husband on a daily basis but would still display her husband to the outside world as the best man on earth. Thats the kind of society we find ourselves. Nobody wants to be ridiculed for having a bad spouse or union.

ImaIma1:
YESSSS.....

He makes marriage sooo easy.

I will look for him in my next life and even toast him if I have to

Thank God for your marriage. You are also one of those that got it right.

YorubaLord:
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and YES !!! I'll marry her again any day, anytime!

There's an adage in Yoruba: A pe jeun, koni je'baje! Literal meaning... "A late Diner never feeds on scraps".

Proverbial translation... "A Patient dog eats the most sumptuous and juicy bone"

I kinda married late but, I definitely hit the bull's eye! The most perfect thing for me. I remain appreciative.

Thats nice to hear. You are one of the few that are happy in their marriage. What motivated this topic was the fact that; I observed many people are not happy in their marriage

This question is for the married folks!!! If you are to marry again, would you marry your current spouse? Please, be very honest with your answer.

Hhenryy:
Oga, this is Nigeria. Most of our ladies have been Genitally mutilated (circumcised) and therefore do NOT like sex nor have any urge for sex because their erotic zones have been chopped off during circumcision. That is why it appears as if the only way they can be attracted to you is through your money and other material things you can offer. .

This is the best comment so far on this topic. I wish guys know about this

lilmax:
Anyone can have a girlfriend


It all depends on the kind of girl you find

God bless you bro for this your comment

Ijaycool:
It's worrying how alot of comments above are making mockery of him...

Slavery is bad.


For those accusing him of hypocrisy for traveling abroad... Obviously our Medicare is ruined. That was why they have been fighting the government to provide stable Medicare. He can't suffer for what he can not change.

Don’t mind the so called Nigerian youths. Later, they will blame Buhari for their predicaments. Someone is sacrificing his life to fight for their fundamental human rights to be respected, they are busy looking for fault.

Greatness28:
R.I.P

But Which Workload? Nursing Work are Shifting (Morning, Afternoon And Night. Beside, are they not paying there Salary as at when due.?

Let them accept it that, is God time

Its because of perceptions like this that nurses are leaving the country in mass. So, because the run shift, a nurse should be nursing 30patients at a time? Later, you Nigerians would blame them of not being caring

englishmart:
A lot of the nurses I know are lazy and careless. Something else is responsible for their deaths certainly not the workload. Workload and most truck-pushers I know are still alive?

Dude, the nurses you know are auxiliaries.. We are talking about professional nurses here, please give some respect

Honestly, some comments are just annoying me here. So, because he doesn’t have a job or money, he cannot have a girlfriend. This really show the high sense of entitlement our ladies have. Must a guy give money to a girl in a relationship even when he truly doesn’t have? OP, yield to this advice: Look for a reasonable and a moral girl you truly have feelings for. Ask her out and let her know your financial status and leave the rest for her to decide to date you or not. If she doesn’t accept you and your financial state, look for another girl. Keep searching until you get a true soul mate. Don’t forget to hustle legitimately alongside. God will answer your prayers.

I am a married man with kid and a medical practitioner. This is my observation; the vagina never remain the same again after a spontaneous vagina delivery because of the over-stretching of the vagina muscle wall(rugae), irrespective of episiotomy during delivery or not. The introtus becomes more wider. Kegel exercises will only strengthen the pelvic floor muscle, thereby helping the vagina muscle but it doesnt return it completely to its pre-labour state. My experience: I adapted to the change in my wife’s vagina wall and I still feel the tightness. My wife usually feel pains during sex before pregnancy(because of my big dick) and sex was limited to a particular sex style to limit the pain but after childbirth, the vagina wall became balanced with my dick size, so, no more pain and limitation of sex styles.
Be rest assured that your hubby will definitely adapt to the change in your vagina after labour and still feel the same to him, provided he is fucking your vagina only. If he is cheating, he will definitely compare it to the other woman’s own and thats what causes problem. Peace

Starz825:
Sir..sorry sir...if i may ask - Can u pls name the couple of things she was doing perfectly before she changed...and wat are the present changes u noticed in her that pissed u off...thank you..don't be annoyed

Okay. Well, it would be difficult to say all..But let me give a brief..She was financially supportive, loved my mother and my family, gave me a total respect, emotionally supportive whenever I was down, cooks for me always etc..But now, she abuses me, my mum and my family at will, leaves me to every financial responsibilities even though she is working and making good money, careless about my emotional needs, has no iota of respect for me, selfish, to cook is war etc

Starz825:
Wow....so aw are u coping now sir...no offense just wanted to hear from you sir

I am doing very well. I have accepted my fate. I have now realised there is no true love anywhere. Infact I told her after she made that statement that if we divorce, I will never marry again. I don't think divorce is the answer, since I have not caught her cheating. I am just totally disappointed and devastated.

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

God bless you. I wish I knew this before now. I married early because I met a lady that showed me complete true love (I thought) for 4years even when I had nothing. She is now a complete opposite of what she used to be 1yr in marriage. I confronted her why she scammed me into marriage, she told me she was naive then but she is wise now.

Lol..Nice tread..Many people think marriage is tantamount to free romance, free sex and enjoyment..Don't be deceived. Marriage is more of emotional and psychological challenges than the freebies stated above. Marriage is work. Too much responsibilities can even weaken your erection. Let me burst your brain, it easier to get free sex when single than when married. Reasons: You are bound by marriage vows, you can't seek for sex outside your wife. If your wife is not in the mood, no sex. If your wife is not happy with you, no sex. Responsibilities also make women not to be in the mood for sex. Lets talk about romance: Romance die off max of 1year after wedding. Once children starts coming in, just say bye to romance because the woman will transfer the feelings and romance to the children. Kissing would be seasonal, breast would be flabby making smooching uninteresting. The only romance women know in marriage is to ask for money or saddle responsibility on you. Let me stop here abeg..If you have contrary experience, kindly share, I want to learn. I am talking from experience as a married man. Peace

Wane2:
Thanks for this article, it's very helpful since I fall into this category. In my whole life I've never started a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, neither have I ever had a long discussion with someone where I'm the one who talks more I prefer to just listen. I might even have it all planned in my head but when it comes to saying it, it just goes down the drain. The crazy thing is that it even happens online.
Like I'm afraid to post sometimes because I'm afraid of how people would see me.
Then I'm like 'sh!t they don't even know me'
Then another voice be like 'yeah but they know your nairaland moniker'
And then I'm like 'so what?'
And then I don't post the sh!t

But I'm going to post this sh!t :-D

Congrats..You broke the jinx this time.

ursullalinda:
As usual waiting for deposit....a neighbour was rushed to the hospital almost lifeless and the good Samaritan was asked to deposit 100k before they can touch her....atimes I wonder how many lives Nigerians have .....because our thick skin no be here.....A country where doctors who are meant to be saving lives are so used to seeing dead bodies that it doesn't move them again...God pls help us

Lets assume you own a hospital for business, you will treat a Nigerian that has no health insurance before payment? Lets always put ourselves in other people's shoes before judging. I am sure ypur neighbour has no health insurance and he or she still expected to to be treated before payment. Other nations that things work, they have health insurance for the populace, making it easy for health workers to attend to them without pay. Govt will tell you health service is free, its a lie. Insure your health today to avoid this kind of stories

So sorry for your ailment. Go for sputum mcs, gene expert, vdrl and ANA to rule out Tuberculosis, syphilis and Systemic lupus erythematosis. I will advice you to also do a repeat viral markers at another lab and also a liver function test. You will be fine, its just a phase

yeyeboi:
Forget all this starting without finishing , how long can he do this for ?


Nigerian Government Lack Maintainers And Continuity Of Good Works

Go and check the record..I am from Ekiti, Fayemi did this throughout his 1st term as Ekiti state governor and they still voted for Fayose. This man and Fashola are few of the best leaders this country had ever produced. But trust Nigerians, tribalism, nepotism and religious bias have eaten deep into our system.

Kellie069:
For real I don't just like this guy. I believe there is always a selfish motive behind all his actions.

This is apparently one of the reasons I need to leave this country for people like you.. Keep wallowing in injustice. Buhari has a selfless motive behind his actions

Op, I really understand your plight. Please, dont mind those blaming you oo..As a married man and from experience, all marriages pass through this at its early age. 6months after our marriage, I had a very heated arguement with my wife and I told my wife that I regreted marrying her, why did I even marry you? Bla bla bla...She replied by saying; I should have allowed her to leave when she wanted to...After the arguement, I apologised and we settled it but for some days, she kept repeating what I said during the arguement and even cry severally because of it. You know what I did? I called her mum to a meeting of 3 of us and we discussed it. My wife cried bitterly, purged her heart and repeated the offensive statement I made during the arguement and after the meeting, that was all. Infact, we now joke and make jest of ourselves about the kind of statements we both made in our early stage of marriage now. Hear this, couples make bad statements to each other at one point or the other, so you are not the first and it doesnt depict you as a bad husband. Early stage of marriage is the most delicate period of marriage, thats why there is high rate of divorce. Op, call her mum to a meeting, state the problem and you will see her pour out her mind and you guys will be fine again if she truly ever loved you. Note: That may also be her own mode of manipulation. She may be using that tactics to manipulate you. Women are very manipulative in marriage and I tell you, almost all husbands are being manipulated by their wives in marriage. i.e Signs of manipulative attitudes of women in marriage: crying, withdrawing, overtalking, shouting, nagging etc but this is another topic on its own. OP, this phase will pass away, we all have been there. God uphold your marriage

Dr Frabs- Dagrin ft Omawunmi Thank God

I really feel your pain bro. I am not surprised by the comments I have seen so far, some stating you should have a heart to heart talk with your wife, buy gifts, apologize etc As a married man like you, I am very sure you would have done all these to no avail. Our case is similar just that my wife doesn't deny me sex. This is the point, marriage is not easy for a man. I want you to know one thing, women are very manipulative in marriage irrespective of the number of years you guys spent courting. Marriage is different from dating or courtship. This manipulation is what makes many men divorce or beat their wife. They mostly do this when they have kids (their love and care shifts to the children). The earlier you understand this, the better. All you listed here are all acts of this manipulation.
Solution: Be patient, do your best to try talk to her to change, if she doesnt bulge, carry your cross bro..Ignore her acts, make yourself happy, take care of your health, never report her to any of her family members (mum or dad). Pls, do not divorce or beat her. I repeat again, do what makes you happy and take good care of your health.

I am a male nurse, I married a female nurse and I deflowered her myself. The thing is many Nigerians are only familiar with auxiliary nurses scattered all over the country of which I can confirm that many of them are promiscous and indecent. But talk of professional registered nurses, they are busy ladies either studying to acquire more certifications in the profession or working on jetting out of the country. Quackery has really defaced the profession and no thanks to Nollywood too..Peace