₦airaland Forum

Is it a big deal? I have heard many Naija guys say God forbid!

Does working for and answering to your father in-law undermine the man's position in the home or even in his immediate society?

Guys
Would you work for your father in-law? If he owns a very large organisation and you are well paid for it?

Ladies, would allow your hubby to work for your Dad?

If the guy was truly sorry then he would take the tests.
If he loved his spouse, then it would be in his interest not to pass on various stds to her.

But since its Naija and the man always has his way, I can almost guarantee that the man will not take the test, and in the end the wife will end up begging him for sex.

Praise God for this fresh info. The past few weeks have brought untold damage to the image of the body of Christ.

It would have been quite uncharacteristic of Adeboye to be rolling a PJ in the present situation whether it is befitting or not. So I am happy for the latest development.

Meanwhile @Olakugu, it was a bit of a struggle trying to understand your yarns.

The ferry service for vehicles carries about 8 cars at a time. It greatly shortens your travel time from Ikoyi to VI/Lekki. From what could have been 2 hours in traffic, to a mere 10mins.

I think if larger vehicle ferries were available that looked secure, it will make a significant difference.

Lagos state is presently embarkin on a ferry project LAWMA lagso waterways Mgt. If this is executed like the BRT project, then Lagos is certainly in for a change in the traffic situation, at least for those willing to patronise the ferry system.

I have also been on the isle of wight ferries from porthmouth to Wight. They run every hour and most carry up to 30 cars with restaurant, viewing areas and lounges on 3 floors.

Poster, Pls do not apologise. You need to find a way show him that violence is not part of your wedding vows. Otherwise, you@ll be getting a beatdown from time to time during the rest of your lifetime,
Besides, most men do not find wimpish wives attractive.

It is a real shame that our society is still operating at this level.
Even from the posts made by both male and female posters, it is evident that we value the institution of marriage, almost to the point of dying to preserve it.

However, because we do not have the privilege of hearing the man's part of the story, we have to believe the lady, especially since she admitted her natural reaction, which was to rain the dude with abuses.

It is common place that pregnant women get very irritable with every little thing, and every good man should know this beforehand, and be more tolerant during those 9 months.

jaguda:
@ Grouppoint, have u ever bothered to go tru my posts to threads on NL? I have taken a vow not to join issues with you and ur so-called, "Its better over here (living Abroad peasants). U really want to discuss Nigeria, come over to Ojuelegba and talk to the average Nigerian on the street. Onitsha, Aba, Kaduna, Zaria etc, not sumone up there in God Knows where. Ban our Local Languages?

Up there, are u telling me dat Wales as a country has dropped her indigenous Welsh language?

Your posts are senseless and should be deleted fron NL directory.

@jaguda, kindly insert the threads that you refer to. I have no idea what you are talking about.
I also live and work in Nigeria and Overseas. It is really quite difficult to understand why you are making vows and and referring to my posts as senseless on NL. Maybe you got me mixed up with someone else.

Or were you having a bad day?

Why are you people harassing Hubreality?

I'm sure his life has been better since serving under his chosen ministry.

@Debosky,
You are right in your assertion that only God can tell why certain people do not get healed immediately.

Paul the apostle did not himself get healed of the thorn of the flesh; Hence it will be nice for Hubreality to humbly accept the reality that he does not know-it-all, No one does; Not even Christ!

Hub, Keep up the good work though.  The only mistake I feel you are making is that you are going against a particular biblical exhortation (from Paul to Timothy) to avoid vain arguments,

And I think you should know when to bow out (even Christ himself did this from time to time).

@Poster.

I believe what you are proposing is a walfare system. It makes sense, and its successfully applied in the west.

If the right conditions are applied, then it should work.

However, many unemployed are simply unemployed because they look down on certain jobs, considered to be menial and beneath their 'graduate' status.

People,

All this hate simply because we speak different languages,

Does Nigeria not have enterprising people from both the North and South?
Are there not many lazy Igbo people?
Are there no 419ers from yorubaland?

If only we had one national identity, we wont be expending so much energy spitting venom about any one particular tribe.

After all the pain our our parents went through following the civil war, it seems we, the children are set to plunge things right back into psychological tribal warfare,

afam4eva:
You're are one of the few idiots i've met on nairaland. Obama is an lrightAmerican and in america they speak english alright.

@Afam4eva.
I can guarantee you that you have not met me. If you did, you would not refer to me as an idiot.

In America, they also speak other languages, as any idiot most people will tell you for free,

It is evident even from this thread that we, as Nigerians, hold on to our culture and traditions, so dearly, that everything else, including progress, unity, technology all become a distant second.

I asked what languages Obama spoke?
Is he less progressive or successful than us?

If we could reverse the priority and lay more emphasis on our national identity (as opposed to tribal), thene we will begin to see real progress.

For instance, much has been said about Gov Fashola being an excellent administrator. But come 2011 or 2015; if its not the turn of the Yorubas to be president, then Nigeria will have to do without his services. All because his tribe is not yet appropriate for the job.

Did we see that in the US, France or UK?
What is Obama's language?

Research South Africa, and you would observe that the problem again lies with tribe and tongue.

, and as the bible scholars will attest, God only introduced different tongues and languages so that man will become disunited and not achieve the impossible. (genesis 11 1-9)

So what do you do if you want to bring about unity?

@ikeymann00
Are you able to hold a discussion without abusing unneccessarily, or backing out completely?

We have already agreed that there is a problem with national unity. You had some good points; but you did not need to rain abuse like that would solve the situation.

ikeyman00:
the fact u are on the[b] GRoundpoint[/b] means emm u are aint sensationally fit to talk ding my friend!!


loosin ur language ?? are u a snake without its skin

morons !!!!! and foolsssssssssss

nonesense

Are you having a bad day?

jaguda:
na so una know book? and una still dey where una dey? una for dey presidency dey push forward dis agenda or proposal or make una SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!. if una no get work, make una blow whistle.

which language u want adopt an national lingua? see their coconut heads.

Jaguda,
Do u believe that you made any sense with your post?

ikeyman00:
BAN LINGO

wouldnt stop corruption,

wouldnt provide 24-7 electricity

etc

these are factors that should be bondin us in line nigeria media national zeals

When we had 24/7 electricity and wealth, Nigeria was highly tribalised and even went to war. So I'm not sure these factors will bond us.
If the differences are blurred and our similarities are highlighted, then we will bond as one nation.

roxeey:
N/L pls i need ur help



i'm in love with a man that is as old as my father nd ve bin trying to take him off my mind
bt its difficult,nd my boyfriend is complaining that ve change.pls help me i'm confused

Roxeey, you are indeed so confused that you are posting on the wrong thread.

@Honerico
I see your point. But in America, all the people who retain their indigenuous languages are seen as the minority. You will hardly find them occupying national positions. Their appearance and speech is very different from what we know as 'american'.

@Afam4eva,
Are you suggesting that people from each part of Naija are physically distinct from others? We can only generalise. As I'm sure that you will find light-skinned, dark-skinned, tall, and short in all the corners of Nigeria.

@Honerico,
I see your point but if each state was to generate their resources, then we'll be back to the whole subject of the civil war. Devolution, resource control etc

@Laniks
We have to accept that Nigeria is one. Many have intermarried and moved on. Rather than castigate the Hausas, one should study them more closely in order to understand how they managed to hold on to power since independence. A daft people could not do that.
Furthermore, can you not see that hispanics look and feel less american than the Jews, Italian, Irish-americans. Why is this? I'd say its because they are still holding on to their culture and language, think about it.

@Londoner,
I agree with your hyposthesis of national identity. That is what I am trying to propound by suggesting a ban on tribal languages as a means to foster oneness. if we all spoke the same language, it will gradually become difficult to see the difference between Igbo, Yoruba, Ijaw, hausa etc.

@tamme
Would you say then, that it is more important to hold on to your culture even at the detriment of your country moving forward,

I went into the above preamble just to shed some light.

I appreciate the need and importance of preserving our culture, and our myriad 250+ languages, but at what cost?

Do we remain a very tribalistic, divided, ineffective nation that is only very rich in language and culture?

We as Nigerians need to start telling ourselves the truth.
We can not expect to have good leadership, when we keep looking for the good leaders only from within our tribes.

Why would we have a man like Y’aradua as President, if not for the language he speaks?

Similarly, we would probably have the next available southerner in 2011, simply for the agitation that a person from the south speaking part of Nigeria should be given a chance?

If the languages, tribe etc did not exist, then time after time, we would vote and elect persons based on the value they are bringing rather than all the balance of play that we are perpetually focussing on?

Is this not what brings about good leadership?

Thanks to all who contributed on either side of the fence; even those who called me naïve, silly, even a child.

These thoughts of mine where born out of observations made over several decades growing up in Nigeria and overseas. I am nearly 40 years old, and not nearly naïve. I wish I was, after all, little children are pure in heart.

I have lived and worked in 4 continents of the world and so I make bold to say that I have seen very many things,
I am from one part of Nigeria, and married 10 years to a wonderful lady from the opposite end.

I can tell you that the battle to get our families to accept our marriage was fought purely on language and cultural lines, as opposed to personality, compatibility and integrity.

We all know that many parents in Nigeria today would still rather have the wrong person marrying their child, so long as he spoke their own language.

tpia:
I totally get your point.

But assuming this western style can work in Nigeria, is a pipe dream.

These days, I dont have a problem with dreaming, Even Obama becoming a USA president was a pipe dream.

@smile4kenn
Would you say that the various nations that have become America were originally english?

I do not have to study anthropology to see the impact of de-tribalisation has had on the USA, or how conversly it has been the bane of our own Nigerian society.

I feel that the mistrust, and divisions caused when people speak languages not understood by the next person is significant. And things will not even get to form-filling before prejudice fully sets in, as often seen and heard even on Nairaland.

@smile4kenn

I clearly stated 'english for example'. This means it could be Yoruba, Swahili, whatever works.
Also, whilst english may not be your language, it has found a place as a common language in Nigeria.

Examples may be found in USA, where her citizens comprise Italians, Irish, Jews, English, etc who have lost their roots and wholly accepted one american way and culture.

It then becomes possible for Arnold Shwarzenegger or Barack Obama to get to the top because no one is insisting it has to be my village kinfolk that must occuppy this position.

If Nigerians spoke just one language (English or Pidgin for example), then gradually we wont be worried about whether its a Northerner or Easterner at the top. We would then be more concerned with the integrity and capability of whoever gets voted in.

Does anyone follow my train of thought here?

For the last few years I have been having this thought. Call me naive or crazy, but it seems that most of the nations we see as developed nations, have one national tongue.
Is it then probable that the sooner we shelved our local tribal languages, the better we stand to become as one united nation?

@Kuns,
Very insightful comments.
However, you could easily be accused of preaching hate and divisiveness.

It is interesting to note that most of the people who were falling all over the place in the bible were demon-possessed folk.

I have a feeling that if the above message was preached, many guys will stand their ground even when you push them with boxing gloves.

I have heard that passages such as, 'slain in the spirit' refer to falling under the anointing. I am unclear as to why the bible did not make it clear enough that people can and do fall.

This leaves room for enthusiastic adherents to try and help God by falling at each crusade.

God does not need that kind of help. If we want to Bless God (empower God to succeed), all we need to do is, unto others as we would like them to do unto us.

The anointing of God, evidenced by the manifest presence of the Holy Spirit, is enough to make one fall.
However, the real fruit is whether there is a manifestation of that anointing. This is where healing, signs and wonders come to play.

Otherwise, there is really no point falling all over the place, then getting up and picking a fight at the car park, even before you get home from the crusade,