Pls has the custom duty increased or its still at 35%?

what's the current clearing cost of corolla 2005?

Is it me or the OP, nothing in the pics suggest that corpers where being trained on the use of weapons!!

not a single pics shows thst

Pls currently, what do u have in stock

TechtraGadgets:


N47,000 and delivery is N2,000. Good morning

Pls what phone can I get for N15k-18k

Onegai:


He controlled nothing. Mama Onegai is independently wealthy in her own right. Property in her name, but her cooking pots to feed her husband came from him.

But ask your husband, if you have asked him to provide you with something, he didn't do it according to your schedule and you went and bought it yourself...

Ask him how he will feel.

Perhaps also ask your mum.

Madam Abeg chop knuckle!!!

EfemenaXY:


I don't mean to be rude, but where did she get such a bush man from?

No need for long story. She should have returned it for the sake of peace, but, he should have taken up the household washing himself - by hand.

Sadist.

why call him a bush man?

what if his mentality is that of the typical African man that believes he should provide for the family?

such folks usually have this mentality of I'm the man & sole provider, the wife going to buy the machine will have the following effect

1.Her action will be viewed as an act of insubordination
2. A slap on the man's ego(more or less, he couldn't provide, so she had to step in)
3. The man will get the vibes that the wife is dragging shoulders with the him(I have money & I can get whatever I want)

Even though this analogy might be different, how will you feel if you told your teenage son/daughter, living under your roof that you weren't going to get them a particular thing they requested, they then go ahead to buy it just because they have some savings, infact you not only denied their request but you forbade that item in your house, how will you feel?


What if the woman in question is the type that hounds or taunts the man whenever she does something the husband was supposed to do & the husband was not ready for another trauma?

God made man to be the head, lord & master, westernization has altered it, if you got married to a typical African, don't come whining when he acts accordingly

If you want the equal right right treatment, go for a man that has such beliefs, most time during courtship such things are not hidden

Raiders:
I agree with you that 2 months is a long time to woo a girl. This is why I decided to end our friendship and told her to stop calling and texting her. I think it takes a girl less than a day to decide if they would date a guy or not but some girls just like playing hard to get.

You made a mistake, firstly that was selfish on your part. Your action has revealed that the only reason you wanted to know her was to date her

To know is to love & the best way to know someone is thru friendship & not relationship, because in friendship pretense is reduced compared to when one is in a relationship

If she doesn't want to date you, remain friends with her, she might come around later, you might get another thru her or she might turn out to be a trusted, reliable friends with no strings attached

EfemenaXY:


This is just sooo annoying to read.

So what?

This is why we have so many marriages in trouble - interferance from outsiders and supposedly "wise" elders. No two marriages are ever identical. If this mode of operation works for the couple, and both of them are happy with it, and the man isn't complaining, then what's the issue?

How do these people know that the man isn't simply complimenting his wife and plugging in the holes / weakness(es) of their relationship? I touched on household chores in one of my earlier posts on this thread. For all we know, this man's wife might have told him right from the very beginning that she's not into household chores. She probably laid all her cards down at the table right from the very start and despite that, the man in question decided that she was still the right one for him. He probably isn't even trying to change her, but teach / lead by example.

Some people really need to learn the art of minding their own businesses, especially when it comes to meddling with other's marriages.

while I respect your opinion & understand your displeasure, I still have to reiterate what I have earlier stated & that is know the disposition of your spouse!!

You are obviously of the modern world where there is probably no difference in who does the house chores, regardless of the sex.

you have to factor in both sides of the coin, one side being of the traditional view that the woman does all the house chores while the man provides & that of the modern view

if as a Nigeria you live abroad or you live here but have been greatly influenced by their way of life, that might be a little bit different cos everyone would have adjusted that you are "lost to their way" but if you live here, I think it becomes a different ball game

our parents, those above 60yrs belong to the traditional dispensation so they will have a hard time accepting that & to ascertain if a woman is "wife material" one of the key factor is if she is highly domesticated

A guy might be willing to marry a lady who does not know how to cook or wash etc because there is the option of house maid but which parent will accept that

A couple might say I don't want kids or chose the option of surrogacy, which of our parents will accept this

Yes, times have changed but as I earlier stated I'm a hybrid, while I value the modern day way of life, i equally uphold the traditional way of life but with modifications, I'll cite examples later

my mum had 4 siblings, they where all close till their old age(mega close, from their youth till their 70's) I intend to copy same but that will not be achievable with all these everyone "mind your own business" or "it's my life" etc

we respect our inlaws but I waste no time in putting them in their place when they go out of line, when my nephews & nieces misbehave, I give it to them whether or not, their parents approve of that method(I don't mean abuse o) reason being I see them as my own & there is nothing their parents can do about it cos of our close relationship.

bottom line, the modern way of life of everyone minding his/her own business does not suit me & any lady coming into my life, will know this

PS: those days as a kid, if you cross the road wrongly, a knock or scolding will be waiting for you at the other side by any passerby or a young lady who isn't properly seated, will be shouted at to close her legs or spanked on the legs to close it

Today, nor be my pickin, e nor consign me, I don't subscribe to all of that

babyosisi:


I figured this method works much better
Speaking not in anger,not in a combative way,works with men,they hate their authority challenged

So I adopted that means

It works so well,I can't even begin to tell you
There is practically nothing I will ask of my husband that he wouldn't do toda
The singular key was learning not to challenge his authority

i am a pretty strong female character but I know exactly what not to do at home and I didn't learn it overnight

Once again your example is a classic, an eye opener with lots of wisdom

but I'm awed that the above quote is coming from a lady who stays abroad, USA I presume.

I keep saying it that, that's how God ordained it but westernization has turned it around, hence the results we have today

Men have been known to divorce or kill their wives or start affairs because they were constantly being emasculated by their wives.

Sometimes when I watch films & hear the man complain about not being respected, I'll be like una dey value those things!!

the crave for Respect & authority for man is universal!!

The last paragraph of your quote above, is an explanation of the scripture that says "the woman is subject to the man"

"The" being the operative word, not just any man or your boss or colleague or male friend but "the man" which is one's husband

though you have a strong female character, you know where to draw the line with your husband but I'm sure you will waste no time putting any other man who steps out of line in their rightful place!!

Am I right?

babyosisi:
I made sure to let him know how appreciative I was

thanks for all you wrote, but this one stands out & I'm sure this is why your husband continued to do them

If it were to be all this "equal right, 21st century feminist", it will be a different ball game

bukatyne:




The issue is that such in-laws are very hypocritical

The same MIL in your story will be glad her daughter caught a good man if she sees her SIL doing half her son is doing.

My future SIL will have a supporter in me once she doesn't look for trouble...

If my mum ever decides to say ... A, B, C is not right for a guy to do, she go hear am

It is well

But Ma, as a woman, how will you feel seeing your brother washing his wife's clothes? (manual washing o, not washing machine)

Won't you feel somehow?

@babyosisi, I agree with you that a man ought to help the wife with some chores but there still a whole lot of things we are yet to come to terms with in Nigeria

Washing clothes
Washing plates
Cooking
Cleaning the house
Going to the market

These activities are still being viewed as a woman's thing so most folks will frown if a man takes upon these things.

Me personally, I don't have a problem with it, though there will be a limit & the moment u abuse it, everything will be revoked.

Some women really know how to abuse such gestures !!!

But how did our mothers cope, cos in their time, they treated their husbands as lord & masters

In my tribe, there is this saying, more of a title
Odoneehimwen( my husband owner of my soul)

So when a typical Bini calls his wife, she responds by saying "odonehimwnen"

But today the story is different, so it pays to know your spouses disposition to these things, is he/she holding on to that traditional view of the man is lord & master or is he/she a hybrid of the modern world/traditional view or solely modern view

This way, it will save u alot of heartache

Me, I'm a hybrid

babyosisi:


And keep doing that whenever she comes around abi?
What if the days turn to months nko?

Ok, I have a family friend, the mum stays with them, the guy wakes up in the morning to sweep the house, bath the kids, I nor know wetin madam dey do.

It was a very big issue, the mom had to calm down but trust me, she ain't happy with the wife

Abroad that might not count but here in Nigeria, it does count, you are suppose to be receiving prayers from your elders & not curses or insult

imagine this guy will be removing cobwebs from the house, washing curtains etc not that madam is sick o or has a hectic schedule o

if its about education, the guy is a lecturer but I nor know whether him case still normal

No elder will feel comfortable with such reversal of role(cos that's how they see it), just jejely pretend till they go, but if its an elongated stay, so help you God

emeraldoe:
MIL and their wahala. My MIL and FIL are in my place at d moment(FIL is sick and hubby brought him over for treatment). Few days back, hubby decided to cook and MIL got to know about it. Ehn, nor be small talk. MIL was like, why will I leave my hubby to cook dat she doesn't understand dat one oh. I told my hubby and he said I shud jst stay in d kitchen with him and close d door. Since dat day, hubby is restricted to helpin me out around d house

I'm not married o, but I keep telling my mum that this present generation's mentality is different from theirs

so wisdom should be used when dealing with the youth, likewise the youth when dealing with elders

So if your FIL/MIL is above 60, then they will definitely have issues with hubby working around the house cos in their time it wasn't the norm excerpt in few homes( which was considered an anomaly)

Most elders will have an issue with hubby working in the house, they will view him as a "wussy". So for the few days they will be around, just manage & when they leave, hubby should return back to the way things were

My two cents!! I stand to be corrected

Welcome development but wrong timing!!!

Our security personnels are not IT compliant, this will definitely lead to an abuse

How do u combat the issue of setup, when data Is cooked up to setup an individual? How will they go about it

Imagine the SSS official saying they took an Apple monitor without CPU

Imagine such personnel handling ur case relating to IT!!

Your own don finish be that

bukatyne:


.!

Wow thanks ma, I'm grateful

Just that I love her & I know she loves me, the thought of breaking her heart is bugging me & the whole idea of starting afresh.

It's a mixed feeling, once her drama starts, I want to pull out later on, I start reconsidering

The circle continues!!!

EfemenaXY:


You say it's not your intention to be judgemental, but your post reeks of it, bros.

Okay, look at it this way...do you not think it's better to break-off an engagement (now), if you feel your heart isn't in it, rather than go ahead and marry the spouse out of pity? Only to break up later, probably with kids involved by then?

Yes, it would be painful for the one being dumped and also not fair, but is life eve fair? Besides, it takes two to make a marriage work. Both hearts must be completely in it for the foundation to be solid. There are lots of examples on here about struggling marriages where one person tries to steer the ship alone and the other can't be bothered because they feel they married the wrong person.

If it's not working out pre-marriage, then please break it off. This advice is for both sexes. Both parties MUST be happy to tie the knot else that marriage could easily turn out to be hellish. I don't believe in "managing" someone in matrimony for the next 30, 40, 50, 60+ years of your life, just because you didn't want to hurt their feelings from the onset. Better to hurt them now than hurt them everyday, for the rest of their life.

#My two cents worth.#

Oh oh, my apologies ma

I have no issue with her calling it off, after all I'm in a similar situation

it was just that she was with someone already at that time while having another encounter with this other guy.

She has explained it all, my apologies once more

babyosisi:


To be truthful yes I did cheat if you put it that way
My mind was already over him,i had fallen out of love before accepting this date,I couldn't tell him,he was faraway ,I wish I told him first but I didn't
He found out weeks later
I was young,I was 23 and maybe would do it differently if it were today and I wouldn't advise anyone to cheat but leaving him was the best decision I made,I have never regretted it.
,

Ok ma, I wasn't trying to be judgmental, just wanted to connect the dots

That being said, yours was against the norm cos you were in a relationship & also started something with okey, it ended well for you. Thanks be to God

For some others, loverboy will use & dump them while okey will also let go, at the end they loose both ways

Any one that wants to follow ur path will do so at his/her risk, if it works out fine, if it doesn't, they should live with it

In counseling, the norm is always advised

Thanks so much for this thread.

babyosisi:


Yes
I am njide and that is my true life story
We talk about it still from time to time and he always says thank God for that heavy rain
When the rough times come I always remember how we started and the passion and we try to rekindle that because we started well.
The love notes,the letters,the cards,the trips,dinners,planning on our future,picking out names for the children to come
So you see why I cannot understand getting married without passion
It won't work for me
I have to be madly and hopelessly in love first ,maybe by my nature

At what point did you call it quits with okey your fiancé?

even though there is an exception to every rule, will I be correct to say you cheated on ur fiancé then?

I ask because you were still with okey when you went visiting loverboy

carefreewannabe:


I am quite shocked that she is blackmailing you into staying with her by telling you that she will hurt herself if you leave. She needs t grow up and you need to leave. This is the only way for you two to keep your sanity.

Thanks, it's the statement some folks have bee. Ramming into my ear that the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know

Someone even advised me to continue with her but double date

Firstly I can't do that, it's not my nature

Secondly lets assume I double date & find the "right person", I'll be back to square one of how do I leave her without her hurting herself


I don't want to come out to tell her it's over, cos she will shout, plead, try to make me see reason why we should continue & then the hurting one's self

Hence my cold & silent treatment until its over, but its not easy, it's wearing me out cos it's against who I'm also

.

babyosisi:



Looks like you are not meant for each other.
I wish it were the girl writing this ,I would have asked her to move on and someone who loves her truly will come along.
How can a boy break up 4 times with a girl and she begs to be taken back
Why do girls cheapen themselves in this manner
Please tell her plainly that it's over,stop sleeping with her and messing with her head if you really care about her well being

I clearly stated it that there hasn't been sex, though there is romance

I haven't slept with her, neither am I messing with her head

You said I should tell her plainly, on those four counts I did so, she cried & pleaded, the part that scares me is when she implicitly states that she will hurt herself.

That's why I said no more plainly this time.

You didn't seem to address my concerns or my burnout, it feels as though you are taking sides


This is not a case of "I have found someone else or she isn't good enough"

It's a case of I'm tired.

Floodgater:
You said you are clocking yet you have called it quit. I dont see a problem with the girl, it is just that she is still growing and you that should help her also needs growing. I hope you told her your reason for breaking off so that she knows what went wrong. You look like you will take a little time before you are ready for marriage, so its okay to let her grow with somebody else; you might be lucky to find your place vacant after satisfying your curiosity or better still occupied by another man that will die for a young blood. Basically you need the break to be sure of what you want.

Pls why do you think, it might take awhile before I get married?

Pls I'm at sea, this man says in 2yrs time, power issue will be over

In another news, the man he put incharge of the power sector says uninterrupted power supply is not possible

Who we go believe?