₦airaland Forum

why is it that doctors handwritten are always poor except in one condition, when they are writing discharge bill for patient!

dr Billy Graham is a very popular american preacher.
one day, he thouht that EVEN though he had up to 5 lincon navigator he was yet to drive any by himself. he was always been driven by his driver.
he told his driver that day to sit at the back that he wanted to see how it feels to drive somebody instead of being driven. reluctantly, the driver agreed. when they got to the checkpoint, a police man waived them down and by the time he saw billy graham at the wheel, he was surprised and quickly asked him to go.
when the police man was asked to write down the report for the day at the station.
he said he waived down an important personality that he didnt know but SINCE BILLY GRAHAM WAS THE DRIVER, THE PERSON MUST BE JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF

dr Billy Graham is a very popular american preacher.
one day, he thouht that EVEN though he had up to 5 lincon navigator he was yet to drive any by himself. he was always been driven by his driver.
he told his driver that day to sit at the back that he wanted to see how it feels to drive somebody instead of being driven. reluctantly, the driver agreed. when they got to the checkpoint, a police man waived them down and by the time he saw billy graham at the wheel, he was surprised and quickly asked him to go.
when the police man was asked to write down the report for the day at the station.
he said he waived down an important personality that he didnt know but SINCE BILLY GRAHAM WAS THE DRIVER, THE PERSON MUST BE JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF

have you heard this joke before?
in hell, every country get its own corner. nigeria corner, american corner, london corner.
the moment you die, you will identify your country and they will post you to that corner to continue your suffering.
it was soon discovered that every new arrival in hell started claiming they are nigerians.
oyinbo go say im be nigerian. nigeria corner soon became overpopulated.
devil now set up a committee to find out the reason and it was discovered that in nigerian corner, all the demons that were suppossed to be torturing people have been bribed. if you can drop something, no punishment for you. also, the electricity was epileptic so the electric chair they use to torture people are most of the time without electricity.
also, hell fire in nigeria corner was not hot because there was no fuel or kerosine to keep them burning.
so, nigerian corner became a delight in hell

have you heard this joke before?
in hell, every country get its own corner. nigeria corner, american corner, london corner.
the moment you die, you will identify your country and they will post you to that corner to continue your suffering.
it was soon discovered that every new arrival in hell started claiming they are nigerians.
oyinbo go say im be nigerian. nigeria corner soon became overpopulated.
devil now set up a committee to find out the reason and it was discovered that in nigerian corner, all the demons that were suppossed to be torturing people have been bribed. if you can drop something, no punishment for you. also, the electricity was epileptic so the electric chair they use to torture people are most of the time without electricity.
also, hell fire in nigeria corner was not hot because there was no fuel or kerosine to keep them burning.
so, nigerian corner became a delight in hell

so u never see black condoms before? go white garment church. as black candle dey, na so black condom dey.

a woman was mourning her late husband and  refused to be consoled for several months.
after 3 years, her daughter introduced her to a nice man with the aim that she would remarry and they got off together immediately. after some weeks, the man took her to his house and after the preliminaries, the man undressed her only that to see she was wearing a black undies. the lady told him that: my breast is for you to handle, my body for you to romance, my lips for you to kiss but down there,  i am still mourning my late husband.
the man knew that luck was against him that day and he let go.
the following day, the same thing happened and it continued for a month.
one day after undressing the lady, she gave her usual sermon and said she was still mourning with her black undies and the man removed his own trousers only to reveal a black condom.
the woman said: what are you doing with a black condom ?and the man replied her that since she had been mourning since all these days with black undies,  HE WANTED TO OFFER HIS OWN CONDOLENCES TOO WITH THE BLACK CONDOM

A MAN GOT TO THE PHARMACY AND WAS TOLD THAT THERE WAS A MACHINE AT THE PLACE THAT COULD DIAGNOSE ANYTHING BY USING THE PATIENT BODY FLUID.
HE HAD A SWOLLEN LIMB AND AND HE POUR HIS URINE INTO THE MACHINE. AFTER MAKING SOME NOISE THE MACHINE PRINTED OUT A PAPER WHICH SAID YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, TAKE ANTIBIOTICS.
THE MAN WAS SO SURPISED. HE NOW DECIDED TO CONFUSE THE MACHINE. HE MIXED HIS SPERM WITH HIS DAUGHTER`S URINE AND ADDED HIS WIFE`S URINE TOGETHER AND POURED IT INTO THE MACHINE.
AFTER MAKING THE USUAL NOISE, THE MACHINE PRINTED OUT ANOTHER PAPER WHICH SAYS: YOUR SPERM IS WATERY, CHECK OUT THE PATERNITY OF YOUR DAUGHTER. YOUR DAUGHTER IS 8 WEEKS OLD PREGNANT, YOU MAY WANT TO ABORT IT. YOUR WIFE HAS GONORRHEA, SHE PROBABLY GOT IT FROM OUTSIDE SINCE YOU DONT SEEM TO HAVE. BY THE WAY, YOU ARE YET TO TAKE YOUR ANTIBIOTICS.

A DEPRESSED MAN WAS BEIGN COUNSELLED BY A DOCTOR.
THE DOCTOR SAID THAT ANYTIME YOU COME AROSS A PROBLEM, WRITE IT ON A PAPER AND TEAR IT.
ONCE YOU TEAR THE PROBLEM, YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU WILL SOON FIND A WAY TO SOLVE IT .
LATER IN THE DAY, THE DOCTOR GAVE HIM THE HOSPITAL BILL AND THE MAN IMMEDIATELY TORN IT.
THE DOCTOR SAID WHY DID YOU TEAR MY BILL? THE MAN ANSWERED THAT HE WAS TRYING TO TAKE THE ADVICE THE DOCTOR GAVE HIM SEEN THAT THE MAJOR PROBLEM HE HAD AT THAT TIME WAS THE DOCTORS BILL

an ibo man was attacked by robbers who asked him, your life or your money?
the man said my money better. wetin i wan take life do? i beg take my life just allow me spend my money first

so is it true that lawyers are never found in heaven?
if it took peter 1000yrs to get a priest in heaven, how do you expect pathological liars, sorry lawyers to find there way to heaven. who come dey heaven sef

i need infinity fx 35 NOW, must be clean.
gold or siver preferably.
pls contact me if it is available

A MAN BILLED TO BE OPERATED FOR APPENDICITIS WAS VERY ANXIOUS WHEN THEY GOT TO THE OPERATING THEATHRE THAT HE WAS SHAKING ON THE TABLE. THE DOCTOR ASKED HIM WHAT WAS HIS PROBLEM AND THE MAN SAID HE WAS SO SCARED BECAUSE THAT WAS HIS FIRST TIME OF BEING OPERATED.
THE DOCTOR REPLIED: I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME OF HOLDING THE KNIFE TOO. SO, WE ARE BOTH FIRST TIMERS.
NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT THE MAN SUDDENLY GOT UP AND SAID THAT THE APPENDIX HAD DISAPPERED. HE DIDNT WANT THE OPERATION AGAIN

AN IBO MAN HAD A SERIOUS ACCIDENT ON HIS WAY TO HIS SHOP AT ALABA AND HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS FOR DAYS.
WHEN HE FINALLY WOKE UP ON THE 7TH DAY AT THE HOSPITAL, HE SAW HIS WIFE BY THE BEDSIDE , MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY AND HIS APPRENTICE AT WORK.
WHERE AM I? HE ASKED. THEY TOLD HIM HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. THEN HE ASKED THE WIFE WHAT SHE WAS DOING THERE AND THAT ONE SAID SHE CAME TO SEE HIS HEALTH. HE ASKED HIS BROTHERS AND EVERYBODY PRESENT WHAT THEY WERE DOING THERE AND THEY TOLD HIM HE HAD BEEN UNCONSCIOUS FOR DAYS AND THEY ALL CAME TO SEE HIM?
HE STARTED CRYING AND SAID YOU PEOPLE DON KILL ME OH! CHINEDU DEY HERE, CHUKWU DEY HERE, CHINYERE DEY HERE, WHO COME DEY MY SHOP?

A BOY AND A GIRL WERE ALWAYS CONTESTING FOR SUPREMACY IN THEIR AREA.
ONE DAY THE BOY ASKED HIS MOTHER TO BUY HIM A POWERBIKE AND SHE LATER TOLD THE GIRL THAT ONLY BIG BOYS AND NOT GIRLS COULD HAVE SUCH BIKES.
SHE WENT HOME CRYING AND TOLD HER MOTHER. HER MOTHER BOUGHT HER THE BIKE AND SHE LATER SHOWED IT TO THE GUY WHO GOT ANNOYED.
THE BOY WENT TO MEET HIS MOTHER AND ASKED HER TO BUY HIM A DESIGNER JEANS AND LATER CHALLENGED THE GIRL.
THE GIRL WENT HOME AS USUAL AND CAME BACK WITH HER OWN JEANS.
THE BOY WAS SO ANGRY THAT HE PULLED DOWN HIS JEANS TROUSERS AND SHOWED THE GIRL HIS PENIS.
HE SAID TELL YOUR MOTHER TO GET YOU THIS. ONLY BIG BOYS AND NOT GIRLS HAVE PENIS.
THE GIRL WENT HOME CRYING AS USUAL.
THE FOLLOWING DAY, THE GUY ASKED WETHER  HER MOTHER WAS ABLE TO GET HER THE PENIS AND THE LADY PULLED DOWN HER BLOUSE TO REVEAL HER BREASTS. SHE SAID MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT AS LONG AS I HAVE THIS PAIR OF BREAST, I CAN GET AS MANY PENIS AS I WANT.

a couple died the day before their wedding.
when they got to heaven, they met peter who asked them what they would like him to do for them and they asked him to help them look for a priest so that they could get married in heaven.
peter said they should give him some time. they waited the first year, second year, up to 500 years and peter did not come back. finally, peter brought a priest who married them after about 999years.
one month after their wedding they discovered things were not working between them and the asked peter to help them look for a lawyer so that they could divorce and peter was so worried.
He said, it took me 1000yrs to get a priest in heaven, how do you expect me to find a lawyer?

NIGERIA PERFORMANCE AT THE OLYMPICS IS A
GOOD LESSON FOR THE MIKEL OBI`S  OF THIS WORLD.
WHAT INTERNATIONAL MEDAL HAS MIKEL EVER ACQUIRED THROUHOUT HIS CAREER?
HOW I WISH THIS GUYS WILL WIN THE GOLD THEN HE WILL HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE REGRETTING IT. TODAY CHELSEA IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE OF MONEY BUT AFTER HIS CAREER HE WILL CHERISH HIS MEDALS MORE.
WHO KNOWS,  IF SIASIA TAKES US TO 2010 WORLD CUP WE MAY END UP AT THE FINALS AND MIKEL MAY NOT BE THERE.
ALWAYS REMEMBER,  YOU ARE NOT INDISPENSABLE. SO BE HUMBLE