₦airaland Forum

Labans:
DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn , and[b] into the hole he gooooes." [/b]

Everything else was interesting. But this one is deffinitely the funniest. Lol. . . . I bursted with laughter.

I won't call her names, but you should seriously send her out and stop answering to every of her requests.

She has no right WHATSOEVER, to Demand Things from you.

Think like a man, and look at her as Woman, Not As a NIgerian Woman. WOuld you tolerate this nonsense from An American woman? If NO, then you shouldnt tolerate it from a Nigerian Woman either.

Abi Now. . . . Nice Joke!!!

Genial:
@hotangel
Do you know Engr. Yila?

You know what? I Know him. . . Not Personally, but i know him. He donated some money to my Lesson Teacher (she was a copper), because her group wanted to do something something.

kitaun:
hot_angel
which side of Gombe were u residing at?
I was on official duty last year and I was opportuned to be around there for a month
Nice place, very clean environs and I saw the Corpers enjoyed themselves even if the State pay was poor

I resided in Gombe, the capital. Hmm, A month? I doubt if you got to know alot about the place.

Gombe is a peaceful place, and i LOVE that state mehn. No okada trouble, no Too much NEPA 'taking light' unnecessarily! And yes you are right, very CLEAN.

It's shorter in width. And it looks kinda huge.

Interesting, but is this really neccessary? I like the Polymer idea, but why can't we just change the old one to polymer and leave the shape and form?

Real world is now on Vh1? I thought it was MTV?

First Thought: be a good friend and tell your friend.

Second thought: Honey, just keep quiet. Any guy that can introduce 'his baby' to his wife's best friend, is definitely the kind of husband who knew that NO MATTER what you tell his wife, she won't believe YOU over HIM.

He already has it planned in his head what he will tell his wife if she confronted him. Heaven help you, he might tell her that "you were flirting with him and wanted to dance with him, but he refused and left the party early, and that was why he was home earlier than he told her that day".

He probably left the party after he acted all "Calm", and ran home to his wife. Knowing fully well, that you might not let it slide.

Why not show him that you don't just report people without having Proof?? He will even be more scared, wondering why in the world his wife hasn't confronted him yet.

My dear, don't say anything now. When next you see something like this, or have proof, you can then tell your friend. Don't even tell your friend's Husband that "You are watching him", because that would be like a challenge to him. Just totally keep shut.

This wouldn't be an easy thing to do of course, but you have to do it.

If your friend finds out that you knew, and didn't tell her later on, Hell YES she will be MAD, but after some lets say 2 weeks, she will understand that you just didn't want to be the "HOME-BREAKER".
Ohh Believe me, You'll be more of a homebreaker NOW if you tell her. Because That guy wouldn't admit that you saw him with a woman (Like, hello. . . . He introduced you to his "baby".
You will only be the evil friend trying to "Break their family", because the guy will most likely start acting like the perfect husband, and he might again, cook up lies about how you've been "wanting" him. haaa. . . . You should FEAR any guy that introduced his girlfriend as "baby" to his wife's best friend.
Don't underestimate him oo.

John 11:35

Jesus Wept.

_{This remind me of Sunday school "memory verse".}

My advice to you is, NIGERIAN or NO NIGERIAN, If you are with ANY man and you don't feel comfortable and satisfied with the relationship, don't STAY in that relationship.

So if i tell you that Nigerian men are generally demanding, are you then going to stay with this man that you feel as a trophy girlfriend to?

If you don't like how a man treats you, just move on or TALK to him. Tell him you don't like his attitude or his demanding tones, or whatever it is that bothers you. TALK to your man and tell him that you don't like the way he's comanding you.

Nigerian Men are generally NOT Demanding, BUT MOST MEN, will, Push you around if you allow them. NIgerian or NOT. Believe that!

At first, i was like. . .  this is to long. Well the point is Nigerians are not allowed in Tanzania, so why should i read it?

But i am glad i READ it.

This is soo sad you know??

I was talking about segregation, just the other day On the "Black history (Month) thread" . WHy can't we all just be Africans?? WHy do we have to seperate and call some people "Nigerian Africans, or Ghanian Africans, or tanzanian Africans"?

Soooo Very sad. And later someone is going to want to argue with me that The white man is rascist and doesn't care about BLACK people. Ohh Please!!! Look at what we are doing to ourselves.

I Don't know if we should FULLY blame the Nigerian government for this. I think it has more to do with the image US as Nigerians Give ourselves.
Okay okay, i know not all Nigerians do these "bad things" they label nigerians to do. But do you know that if majority of the Nigerian People decide to stop corruption and all these 'bad lebels', we won't be having problems like this.
Someone is saying that "OUR leaders are the one that are suppose to make sure that happen". Well, not really, LEADERS can talk, but it's left to the people to put action in to it. Report criminals!

I mean come on now, A lot of people know relatives, friends, and people who Do these bad things, but none of them is willing to report the criminal. If WE (US?) as a people stand up, to stop All these "what's it called", i am sure that the government will pick up from there.

The Government is not functioning well because the people are not helping.  At least that's what i think. Example: A lot of these police officers are now 'criminals' themselves because the people encourage them to be. Yes! Why give bribe??
Don't even bring up the "If you don't give them bribe crap, you will see 'mambo'". That is just B.S, because if 95% of the people that give bribes SAY, NO, we are not giving, "Do your searching, or whatever and let's pass", or "No We are not giving, Take me to court and i will get a lawyer, and we will see who is at fault", i am sure that these Police officers would have stopped their nonsense (for lack of better word).

Before ANyone jumps on me to peel my skin off. This is just how i feel. I think Nigerians (The citizens/people that want change), should put matters in THEIR OWN HANDS. Forget the Government and Form Rally Groups or something of that Nature. WHen the LEADERS see this, they'll be forced to do something. Don't get me wrong though, the leaders CAN Do something, but if they are NOT doing it, Citizens should STAND UP!
Hmm, maybe i just dnt know what i am saying. . . . . . . Just Maybe!

And these tanzanian  people are the perfect description of people that don't know The Good others have done for them - in this case, Nigeria. Then again, do i blame them?? Not completely.  Alot of Africans Now identify more with the White man. Just look at what happened at the mention of Harvard!!  It's not just in tanzania, Go to Nigeria, and you will see how "Nigerians" treat "whites", or should i say ARABIANS (for some reason, all these arabians that were nothing in their country seem to be the "IT" people in NIgeria). 

_{P.S: I sense the attacks coming. Ohh lord. . .  why can't i shut my mouth.}

You guys are comedians.

As i was recovring from one, i was falling into another session of laughter.

Interesting. . . . .

candy:
2002. I served in Deba local gvt.secretariat but I visited most local gvts.Where do/did you live in Gombe?

Interesting, well of course i know Deba. lol, I Lived in Gombe, as in the Capital itself.

Genial:
Lived in Gombe, huh? Were you there in 2002?

Yes i was. Did you also serve in Gombe??

Lose your virginity to be a top model?

First thought: Ohh hell to the motherpeepeep NO!

Second thought: hold on, You mean a TOP model?

Third though: What the peep, still NO,

Fourth thought: Well, is he going to sign a paper, in the presence of me and my lawyer stating that after i give him what he wants, i will become a top model?

Final Thought: I wouldn't advice you to do it. Personally, I. . .  I . . . Wouldn't . . . .  Well, i Wouldn't. . . .

Okay wait. On a more serious note, It's not worth it. If this person can't give you a Job as a model because you are fit to be a model, i don't think you should do it.
I wouldn't do it for real. Its my virginity and I will not give it away to a selfish human being like that.

However, this is your choice to make. Do you cherish your virginity? Do you feel being a model is more important than keeping your virginity? Are you ready to risk losing your virginity and NOT getting the model Job?
Would you rather SPIT in this guy's face and go over to another modelling agency? I would advice you do that.

candy:
Loads of money depends on you.
You'll also need to buy food twice or even three times a day, if your stomach is really sensitive. I served in Gombe and I had to eat in mammy twice daily (mammy food aint the best, just better than camp food).

what set did you serve with if you don't mind me asking,

Ohh nooo, i was never a copper, i just Knew A lot of them because i lived in Gombe, and our house was basically secretariat number two. . . lol (well to most coppers. . )

---
Anyways, Replying to the topic at hand.

I Want to assure you that you will not like the first 3-4 days, if not first week. But if you are open minded, i guarantee you will LOVE camp. 
Just go with enough white tees, and money. I don't know how much enough is, but consider the fact that you will need to buy some things.
You might want to buy mosquito coil too. Mobil, raid and all that don't work all the time oo.
Another thing that most coppers come to get from our house durring camp week is "kankara". Ohh the memories of tying water in bags so that they'll pick em up in the morning. "ICE BLOCKS", you will probably need to buy alot of that.
Carry your own rechargeable lamp.
Be ready to meet people that will annoy you.


If you serve in the North, Please please please, drink NUNU!!! And im sure the first hausa phrase you will learn as a guy is "ina son ki".  Ohh trust me, all those coppers know what that is.

I also want to add that, BUY a camera. You wont regret taking Pictures. Forget if your face no fine for the photo, the memories will bring a smile to your face, later on in life.
And ermm, *coughs*, take it easy with all them ladies oo.

Wonder why people arent replying to this.

1. He understands your accent.

2. He knows that when you suffix every sentence with 'now', its not a command, e.g. "Come let's go now, "

3. When you guys go out, he pays and doesn't expect a refund of exactly half!

4. He understands why you have to send money home - probably doing the same himself!

5. He doesn't see your kid sister staying in your house as an inconvenience/ cramping his style.

6. He doesn't think you should put your parents in a home.

7. He eats 'Gbegiri and Amala' and doesn't think it's 'yucky' or 'spicy'. In a nutshell, loves your cooking.
8. He gets your jokes.

9. The way he licks his ten fingers 'because that Ogbono soup with Iyan hit da spot, Oh Yes!!!

10. He has got his education or he got something going on.

11. He may be a baby daddy but he loves his kid and takes care of him.

12. He can have a bus load of conversation without him saying much 'because his momma taught him that.

13. He loves to see you shake that ass to Sir Shina Peters, the original "Back That Ass Up" master.

14. He will settle an argument and say sorry while maintaining his man status.

15. I am IN charge but he is THE charge, we understand that.

16. He knows where he is from. Living in NY does not mean you are from NY.

17. He thinks you're so pretty without makeup.

18. He calls you native endearing names like "Nne" or "Omo"

19. He has respect [not to be confused with obedience] for his elders ? important.

20. The way he gets embarrased and says "I beg e" when you compliment him.

21. The way he says "I love you baby" ? may be very fake yet sounds so TRUE!

22. The way he eats meat with his bare hands? for some reason it is sexy to me.

23. The way he calls you his wife in front of all his friends.

24. The way he says "Shey you get am" when he thinks you are not paying attention, but you really are.

25. The way he knows that it is you calling and answers the phone "Hey Baby! " without looking at the caller ID.

26. The way Naija men look when they are all decked out in native? there is nothing sexier than a dark chocolate man in lace o!

27. Pronounces your name like say na im born you.

28. The way he flows from Ebonics to Pidgin English to Akata with ease.

29. He is just at home at your office picnic as he is at the Naija reunion.

30. The very satisfied look on his face after eating one of your meals and the way he glares at you while picking his teeth with the tooth pick, and you both know that you are his next "meal".

31. He appreciates the art of yanshrolling when he sees one!

32. Keeps yo from doing wahala by buying a stickshift vehicle he knows you can't drive!

33. He saves you money on groceries a la "limited diet". Just cook the stew and he'll figure the rest? Eba, Amala, Fufu or even plain old White Bread!

34. No need for breast implants to impress am!

35. No need to go kill himself trying to maintain a six pack. He knows u know big belle is sexy inside Agbada!

36. He knows to allow you like three hours to get ready for a party!

37. He will not complain when you waka with headful of rollers inside house but quick to let you know that aint nothing sexy about that when you want to go outside.

39. His lunch (Rice, Beans, Dodo, complete with carefully selected assorted meat) wey you pack for am na something u know sey im no go wait to "Palam"(gobble up!) when him reach work

40. He thinks the small gap between your front teeth are actually sexy!!!!

Finally; Cool Cos He Is Just A Naija Man Period!!!

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HOLD ON!!!!! Before you jump on me, i don't agree with everything on here, But i find majority of them hilarious and some are definitely TRUE.
SO what do y'all think??

Ohh in case you don't know, i am not one of them people that THINK you MUST marry a naija man if you are a Naija woman. I just found this somewhere and decided to share.