₦airaland Forum

pappilo:
I am going through the same and at some point in the story I thought it was about me

Probably too late now but if possible, beg, grovel, apologise, send emissaries for what you did and didnt do but be sure not to implicate yourself. I say this because you can never win. In my experience, begging didnt work but it is prudent to try.

Another thing for any man who finds himself in a toxic marriage is to know when to give up on the marriage and move strategically. I held on too long not really for love but for the sake of my children but remember the children will survive if you are there or not.

I left the house a few times thinking things will get better but it didnt help. It emboldened my ex wife and she started to invite her boyfriend into our family home when I wasnt there. Her boyfriend moved into our home only about 3 weeks after I was arrested and told by the police not to return to the house. And I still part paid the mortgage for almost a year until I transferred my interest in it over to her.

I moved to a garage conversion in a shared house. The garage obviously had no insulation so cold almost killed me in winter. Used to sleep with full tracksuit, electric blanket and heater. I have moved to my own flat now.

I caught a few charges from her and her boyfriend and I am on trial in crown court next month. They are serious charges but I am optimistic that even if found guilty there will be no jail time as I am of good character. I am kind of prepared for the worst though so although not concrete my plan B will be to relocate to Nigeria if I do get prison time as I will lose my job and the prospects wont be good on release.

I have been working a second job and doing 75hrs a week for about 11 months and this has helped me pay part of my criminal defence fees which are just a little under £15,000. But even with that I am over £10,000 in debt.

I was mad suicidal for a long time and always feeling sorry for myself but I had to pick myself up. Doing 2 jobs helped to keep me occupied so it must be tough for your friend if he is not busy doing something and keeps thinking.

Thankfully my divorce went as smoothly as possible as she didnt object to it and it was granted just over a year after I was banished from the house. It could have even happened earlier if I didnt develop cold feet a few times.

Wow! Sorry Bro!
You should have controlled yourself na.....you probably were violent in the relationship.

SweetCunt97:
Communication, attention and care is key.... Money is never enough

Unsettled beings, nothing is ever enough even if you forfeit your life for them.

I blame foolish men who don’t understand they alone are enough. The world is full anyways so children don’t really matter as much as they use to.

na2016:
Come back to Nigeria to do what? Even if he is a cleaner in the UK, it is better than some consultants in Nigeria abeg.... The man should stay there, he will not die. He can move to another city in UK to start life.

Ignorant fellow stop talking shit! What kind of useless mentality is this? I am 100% sure you’ve never traveled anywhere, otherwise you wouldn’t be talking this rubbish.

LongNipple:
My Uncle in United States just came out of a Divorce. It's was TERRIBLE. And I mean Terrible!!!

His wife filed for a Divorce stating she is tired of the marriage and she wants him to be paying her Child Support. The Court took his House, His Cars. Sold the house and gave 80% of the money to the wife.
During that period, he lost his job as well. He almost went into Depression. He wasn't seeing his Child cos the court ordered the wife to take the child becos she is underaged.
He was back to square one.

We kept on encouraging him during that period. He managed to get a Car on hire through someone and was using it for UBER. Tried applying to work a Hospital (according to them, they say thats where money is at least) but was unsuccessful cos he is not a Medical personnel.
He slept on the streets. In his car. In people's stair cases. Kept his remains property in a place where he pays weekly for its safety.

The large chunk of his properties such as TV, Fridge and other, the court asked them to sell and share the money equally. The wife then demanded for CHILD SUPPORT. He started paying for Child Support with UBER work. Come and see suffer. Any money that enters his account will be wired to his Ex-Wife.
It got to a time his female lawyer started using style to side his ex-wife and her lawyers during round table court hearings cos she's is also a divorcee.
Life was hard for him mehn.
He started falling sick everyday. Sometimes he would call us and want to start crying. I felt for him but there was a limit to what I could do.

But like they say, it's only GOD that has the final say. We started doing prayers for him here in Nigeria. After some months, He got a job at a Hospital. He started collected small money. He got a small Apartment. Paid for the Car he used for UBER. Things started taking a new turn.

Right now, the 20% proceeds from the sale of his house has just been released to him after 2 years and he has bought himself a decent house. He still pays for children support with the money he gets from his hospital work.

He came back to Nigeria and he has remarried. The wife would be joining him over there soon.

He is about to tell the Lawyers to release his daughter to him cos he now has a female figure who can take care of her and her wants his daughter to be with him as the father.

He is happy Now. No more sicknesses like before. When the ex wife saw that he is now progressing. She started using style to come back to him shamelessly but he told her to keep off.

It's only a matter of time. God will always stand up for his own. We just need to be strong and have faith in him for every negative thing we are passing through right now will one day become a story we all will look back at and be glad we never gave up.

Tell the foolish man he never learn! I wish him well....

KingAzari:
Marriage is a scam. Nobody should ever get married if not to have kids.

What do you need kids for sir? Just a question please?

NoSentiment:
That's the price u pay for marrying there. The bright sparks from Naija when they arrive uk go to any length to marry British women not knowing the implications. Women and children are the most protected group of ppl in the uk. It is as though the powers that be there have sworn to avenge the past centuries of abuse of women and children there. Many responsible men never touch women with a badge pole in the Uk

A woman will have to give me £5m to marry her in the UK, after I have transferred the money offshore oooo! Nonsense, marriage ko marriage ni!

richie240:
Jesu!!!
Can u imagine!
This s part of d reason 'men are going their own ways' nowadays.

They are gradually realizing that d phrase 'settle down' wasn't a coincidental derivation; it literally means what it is!

The marriage is over 90% beneficial yo the woman. If not for legitimate sex and procreation, a man has absolutely no biz tying d knot.

Is d milk worth buying d cow?
I think not!

Legitimate what? Nonsense! Go and marry a Nigerian woman in UK,US or Canada as see your life

seunmsg:
It’s not a matter of what if, it’s very certain. She will soon get married to another man and they will both be enjoying the sweat of the first husband and be laughing at him. We’ve seen this play out over and over again.

Na lie!!! Big lie!

She’ll certainly find a boyfriend but never a husband. Not in this UK!

dermmy:
It is well.

Rubbish! What is well?

ElijahIme1992:
Looooooool which kind mumu man go marry for UK......dats y I like my naija...here na 50-50...let him enjoy his wahala jare

Alaye! Don’t marry anywhere.....don’t sign any legal papers anywhere on this planet! I don talk my own.

Bouz:
Is his wife, a nigerian or a foreigner

It doesn’t matter. Nigerian women are worse!

grafixdon:
My brother had the same issue with his wife some years ago... Unfortunately for him he was deported back to Nigeria without a penny after many years in uk. Meanwhile, he was the one who took his wife to the uk.

After he was reported, she doesn't even allow him to speak with his kids (2girls) on phone. He later suffers depression, always on drugs, he couldn't work or do anything meaningful, totally useless... Today, the guy is in rehab in Yaba, he's shadow of himself as I speak...

Too many here. Homeless depressed and finished!!!! How old is he?

incogni2o:
Lesson for Nigerian Men trying to travel out with Family.

Please make sure you know your Wife 100%

Whites are more Individualistic.

Try to be the worst Man you can be for a while and see Her worst Character.

I appreciate Women being independent too, But with reason knowing there Husband is thier Head Anyday, Anytime.

I don't beleive in Men being oppressive but that the Wife should Know she has to be under her Husband.

We have a lot of ways to vent our frustrations here in Naija, but over there, no much way, Hence the many cases of Mental Issues and Depression.

Naija Man, Please be Wise.

One sure thing, If you can Make it abroad, You'll make it in Naija. Life is not easy anywhere, The Devil has no restricted zone on Earth.

Better forget the emboldened nonsense. If you want this please stay in Nigeria.

shegun4sur:
What's so hard about this now? People like suffering themselves for nothing.
I don't know how old he is but I don't care. Let him do the following
Find another level headed lady and flex, if the union produces children fine and good.
Get divorced from the jezebel and forget about her.
Find a job and live his godam life in peace.
But sha he can kill himself with heart attack if he so wishes by continuing to claim family family.

Kid! Shut that mouth pleaseeeeeeee

It’ll be your turn soon.

Sonnobax15:

After reading this story,I don decide say na to manage our Nigerian women no matter how useless they are nai sure pass..

Honestly,the kind of divorce stories we hear about the west will make you wonder if marriage was really meant for both man and woman or for women alone..

A time will come when women from the west will end up marrying themselves because there won't be any man who'd wanna be a victim of their manipulation....

Na dat time e go be like "Africa na blessing in disguise for us wey be the no nonsense men

Marriage is a massive risk here in the west. Many of us will never ever go near marriage, never. Men are avoiding marriage like a plague and the whole place is full of frustrated unhappy unmarried psychologically troubled women because of this awful laws!!!!

Hiploko:
You wan come back.

We wey dey here dey die to move out

Life dey confusing at times

Most of you young Nigerians are f**ls., that’s why you are dying to get out of Nigeria. You think abroad is waiting for you? Most of you will end up homeless or living in 1 room for 50 years or you become the WIFE at home. Ask your relatives here.

tolumizzy:
Good one... Igbo amaka

Igbo amaka inside Another man’s land? May God give Igbos wisdom!!!

We truly need a referendum!!!

JidennaJason:
Although he might come across to many like a well-bred Okene tout, but Senator Dino Melaye is saying the truth here.... Hunger, Insecurity, Unemployment, Lies from this administration and constant police brutality are more deadly than the virus.

Nothing to cushion the effect of the dreaded virus... Covid kills, but Hunger is Death himself.

Hehehehe

Foolish Nigerian people.......plenty land, plenty people, plenty water, sun and rain yafun yafun!!

Senseless migration to Lagos, Abuja and other big cities.

Hunger Kee all of you lazy bastrdds!!!

AwesomeStormy00:
They are old they've done their part. I don't want to be reading news about naija scared and worried about their safety.

Nah my parents gave me the best in their own capacity and they brought us all up wirh good values and morals.

The best we as kids can do now is give them the best. I am a Nigerian true and true family come first. Just as Buhari see himself as fulani before Nigerian

And you expect old people to automatically settle in a foreign land with all its nuances? You are not being real. Soon it will dawn on us all that going abroad is really a ‘fool’s gold’.

oluwasegun007:
I'm suspecting that country would be china....

Not certain. But for sure black people’s existence will come to an end.

Godarz:
That's because since Independence, we have run an economy based on selling raw materials and importing most of what we should be making.

Also, over-emphasis on university degrees means we don't have enough technicians. The people who would build most of the scientific and machinery stuff...

Again, we shortchange our electricity sector by making them charge prices which makes them run at a loss....plus 40% of us don't pay our bills. Even the recent price increase means that there are still losses of N2 per kwh.

Finally, we also don't have enough small scale industries that are capable of manufacturing the small components needed to build anything from a electric fan to a jet fighter. Again that's because most Nigerians prefer to go into importing stuff, instead of making them.

Long long boring story. We are a stupid primitive minded people. We don’t think!!!

Hajee77:
Good example of advancement is Pakistan who were poor some decades ago. Nigerian leaders are dullards and thieves. They never have shame buying jet bombers from PAKISTAN.

Bad people makes bad leaders! We have to take responsibility and stop blaming leaders only.

oluwasegun007:
It's a shame.....

A country close to a century in age...

We are too primitive for the modern world. Our land would be taken from us eventually by the stronger wealthier nations.

oluwasegun007:
When are we designing our own....which kind wahala be this sef.

If only wishes were horses, beggars would ride?

Bankalert:
fvcking Sadist!

Truth hurts!

YorubaPrince:
Pakistan, a terrorist nation delivering fighter jet to Nigeria to combat terrorism?

I'm really confused, I swear.

Why are you confused? Can we produce anything apart from babies? We should self exterminate and get lost!!!!

GeneralPula:
China is worst than Pakistan

But we are seriously WORST! than dogs! We can’t produce nothing, not even food to eat!!!

24SEVEN:
Hmmm. Ordinary Pakistan dey manufacture jets dey sell give Nigeria.

Nigeria that held so much promise at independence.

Black men should be exterminated (yes including me). We are so useless we cannot even feed the children we make!

Just look at the state of black countries, our women and children....?

OnlyDeCapPlease:
But why from Pakistan? I dont get it??

We are a very useless people. Why are we engaged in reproduction sef?

AwesomeStormy00:
Smh. Pakistan supplying Nigeria aircrafts. I would go to China than trust Pakistan they are as bad as Nigeria . Everything is Muslim sunni Muslim oriented. I pray my parents are out of that shit of a country before it is too late

What about your parents staying to build the country? In a few years time black people will have nowhere to run!

And your parents gave birth to you knowing Nigeria is £&cked up.

Starhearts:
Better than ur Sithole country
Pray make God open ur way as well..

I stay at Rigenis Street, Nicosia, Cyprus

Let me enlight u about Cyprus pound.

On 1 January 2008, the euro replaced the Cyprus pound as the Republic's monetary unit. In accordance with the Adoption of the Euro Law (Law 33(I)/2007.

Therefore one pound is equal to #460.00 naira.
So calculate my week take home which is 730 pound

So therefore shot up ur dirty Mouth nd keep quiet
Wetin u no knw pass u
Let me light my Holland SK b4 my Botswana woman wake up.
Make JAH bless us all

LIAR �

Earning 3,000 euro per week, based in NY, etc etc etc.....wetin you dey do for Cyprus oga Lao Mohammed?

Starhearts:
Better than ur Sithole country
Pray make God open ur way as well..

Let me enlight u about Cyprus pound.

On 1 January 2008, the euro replaced the Cyprus pound as the Republic's monetary unit. In accordance with the Adoption of the Euro Law (Law 33(I)/2007.

Therefore one pound is equal to #460.00 naira.
So calculate my week take home which is 2830 euro

Liar!, weekly or monthly? doing what in Cyprus?
Dey lie small na....2.8k a week haba!