₦airaland Forum

kilokeys:
Foooo*coughs*oool

A maid ain't human to u?

Fvking biatch..

Dem stamp illiteracy for toto shey?

Urs might be worse.. One advice.. Get to ur tailor and sew ur pvssy tight. With embroidery cos u shouldn't produce folks that think like u

Hey cool down. The something I wrote is for her bum not the lady herself. Okay?

ayusco85:
you are a lady, so i don't expect u to do anything . let the guys answer it

I just advice them to do nothing cos it will be so bad to be seen with something not worth it

Not attractive!!!
So do nothing

I believe this is better than trekking

So funny
Am sure the guy was not expecting it, sharp babe.

Guys: May your sisters and daughters be treated the way you treat ladies!
Can I see someone type AMEN?

Same goes to our ladies!












This is mine.... AMEN!!!

Deme98:
u might gain admission into philosophy merit list without even buying change of course form ... c.o.c form comes out after merit list

okay, thanks for ur response

Deme98:
Philosophy. ..

thanks
So the next step is to get change of course form.

Please house, I need your advice on this. My brother got 236 in jamb ,48.50 in putme and he wanted to apply for law. I know with this putme score is not possible but what other course can he change to or better still what can he do?

Thanks in advance

jearile:
Tanx, pardon me jaare for bin too serious... Uno I don't take physical abuse lightly - everyone deserves to be treated like royalties

So true!

jearile:
Only a desperate slave to money will go against his/her principle to get rich quick...

Good quote
This is just to catch fun not that we all can do it. Where on earth will they ask for slap just to get $1 not to talk of 1million dollar?

As for me, 3 is enough n vice versa.
Slap your lover and get $1,000,000
Romancelanders, how many romantic slap will you give your lover?
I believe this kind of slap is romantic cos money is involve

Waiting for your hilarious reply
Be sincere!

Ever wondered what a mash-up of your favourite music stars would sound like when paired up into collaborations? I have too, and that shallow musing finally got me here, on this post about Naija collabos that I’m sure… or is it that I know? Okay wait, that I think… yes think, will totally rock. Actually I’m damn too proud of all the names I’ve assembled here and they’ve worked themselves up to this point where they can hone their musical prowess having surpassed those good ol’ days of success in boomlets.

Enough talk!
Now action.


1. Cynthia Morgan x Burna Boy
Who knows better to give dance hall music a multi-dimensional treatment than Kingston Property‘s Cynthia Morgan in a link-up with Sabi Boy, Oluwaburna? If there ever was a time for Morgan to wear her brazen self and without apology, it would be here and trust Burna Boy to always come through with his vocal swag… in Yoruba pidgin!

2. Burna Boy x Seyi Shay
This will be the second of his female features that I am certainly looking forward to. I know Seyi already gave us Murda, but then with this guy? Oh boy, creativity will be reborn as there will be healthy doses of lyrical ingenuity, vocal showoffs and… you know what? Just forgerrit, this will be some kain dripping swag madt stuff!

3.Don Jazzy x Pasuma
Did you just laugh out loud? Well think again. Since trying his hands on hip-hop/pop influenced songs, Pasuma raised the stakes in his game and has excelled to particular delight. All the talented fuji-pop star needs now is to hook-up with producer extraordinaire, Don Jazzy and create an epic evergreen sound in the pop/high life genre that bridges musical frenzies in the South West and Eastern ethnicity.

4.Flavour x Yemi Alade
Can you think of anybody else’s song that sends you into a dancing fiesta like Flavour’s and Yemi Alade’s? Hey, stop thinking! This synergy will help to sharpen creative ideas like danceathons, which all them rap competes have almost succeeded in stifling out. From energetic synchronizations to locomotive gyration and impeccable vocal skills, Flavour and Yemi are a perfect par and they sure need to remind us again how well we should celebrate the proudly African heritage.

5. Asa x Timi Dakolo
Okay, I think we’ve played around enough for a bit. Time to get some serious bi’ness done. Individually, these soul music legends are worth more in calibers than my riveting writer skill can do them any fitting justice. With these two, music always has a meaning and their synergy owes us a classic piece with a never-before-heard sensation, the kind that reorients our minds. If they choose to keep it on a low, then you know that they’re launching into the deepest of deeps and if it’s way up, they’re reaching for the bluest skies. Please go figure!

6. Wizkid x Davido
This is pretty much the biggest and most anticipated collaboration of the Nigerian music industry. I dare say! Some of us even live for things as such to happen. I also think all the parties involved have come into knowledge of the blossoming effect of it’s happenstance, which further explains why they’ve let us remain in limbo land. Having said, Wizkid and Davido can either continue to form like they’re cool with beholding the presence of each other or they could just get in a studio booth and literally give themselves an acid bath with all the hydro chloride stored in the barrels of their hearts. Now, that’s something I wouldn’t mind living for!

Others:
Simi x Adekunle Gold
Lil Kesh x Kiss Daniel
patoranking x Cynthia Morgan
Dbanj x Wizkid
Lil Kesh x Reekado Banks

Oya, as is our tradition, Nairalanders tell me those collabos you’ve dreamed of that you know will totally rock. Who’s going first?

http://tooxclusive.com/social-life-in-africa/7-nigerian-collabos-that-i-know-will-totally-rock/

STOLEN ADVICE - you can still learn something

"You add him on BBM
•He checks ur pictures.
•He Drives A Golf 6/7 GTI
•He likes you
•He pinged you
•You reply, all excited, you'll want to hook up
•You set a date
•You dress up that Legging With NO UNDERWEAR
•You smell good
•You put on a makeup - fresh breath & new weave
•He takes you for lunch
•He Takes you For Drinks
•You two have a good time
•He rubs your hand mildly
•Makes you laugh(all women love that) •Gives you looks and smiles
•You fall in love
•It's like you've known him forever
•He takes you to his apartment
•He makes you feel comfortable
•He lays you on his bed
•He rubs it gently
•Kiss you passionately
•Pulls your Leggings
•They're too tight but he manages to take them off
•You love his aggression, strength, power & you give in
•It feels good
•You know it's wrong, but it feels so good
•You ask for protection, he says it's too late
•You obey & don't disturb
•He says he loves you and you don't hesitate to say you love him too
•He f**ked you
•He pulls out, goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water
•He helps you drink it ...Ohh man u feel special
•"He must be the one! " you think to yourself
•You'll get dressed
•He takes you to the taxi rank
•He kisses you on the cheek & say "I had a great time!"
•Gives you( # 1000naira )
•You smile & say "See you tomorrow babe."
•He stays silent
•Your taxi drives away
•In the taxi you can't stop smiling you get home & pinged him that you got home safe
•He reads, but doesn't reply
•It's unlike him, so you pinged him again
•He doesn't respond
•Minutes later you can't find him on your bbm list
•HE BLOCKED and DELETED YOU!!!
•Days, weeks, months passes by
•You start feeling sick, weak, loose weight, act strange with sores in your mouth
•You go to the clinic
•Get tested
•Minutes later...
•Nurse walks in..."I'm sorry. You're HIV Postive & Pregnant!"
•"HOW?" you don't understand
•Reality hits you
•You walk home, Scared, Confused
•You go to the train railway, you lay hopeless and emotionless
•You see the train coming nearer, you look into the sky & mumble a prayer
•That's the end of u
•Don't be that girl! Live well.
‪
#‎Stop‬ chasing material things...

Your wife is at work according to the pix

erabe:
Get back to your room,make love to your wife,get back to the kitchen get the food, eat and leave the house

Brugo:
I would go back to sleep with my wife.

according to the pics, your wife is at work

nairalife2013:
My wife's sister is my sister. No desire there even if she walks unclad round the house. Am I possibly possessed? Ans: No!

The question is what will you do?
Yes or No is not the answer

You wake up to the smell of nice aroma from your kitchen, thinking your wife is preparing breakfast. On getting to your kitchen you met your wife sister cooking like this.
Guys, what will you do?
SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Only a genius can answer correctly
Happy thursday nairalanders

Thank God for ur life

Bigcake:
I will never forget what this plant did to me in my teenage days... After watching the blockbuster movie titled " kick Boxer" by Van Damme, I decided to become the Van Damme of my days by assembling this deadly plant in a position that makes it look like a punch bag or sand bag. I began my Van Damme training by punching and kicking the plant with all my strength as if it was responsible for my grandfather's death. After successfully disfiguring the plant, I went home in self victory believing I could fight anyone on the street like Van Damme did. Hmmm, 7minutes later i began to feel the sensation on my entire body... the itching was out of this world. Every known nuetralizer was applied on my body which was an effort in futility. The funniest part is that I was severely beaten by my elder siblings who thought I was faking the show so I wont be flogged for destroying the flower plant.

I was told it affects both humans and animals especially dogs. Any confirmation please?

Someone sent this to me and I think I need to share it with nairalanders.

This plant is very common at our houses, gardens, parks and offices (popular as indoor & outdoor plant). The plant
(Dumb Cane or Dieffenbachia) is now proven to be dangerous, so, please take care!
The leaf of this plant causes itching if its sap (milk) touches your skin. But there are more dangerous facts!
Read the details below.
One of my friends almost lost her daughter who put a piece of the leaf of this plant in her mouth and her tongue swelled to the point of suffocation.
Name: Dumb Cane or Dieffenbachia
This plant is common in Rwanda. It is a deadly poison, most specially for the children. It can kill a kid in less than a minute and an adult in 15 minutes. It should be uprooted
from gardens and taken out of offices. If touched, one should never touch his/her eyes; it can cause partial or permanent blindness. Please alert your friends.

www.viral4real.com/would-you-sell-your-girlfriend-for-11000-for-a-one-night-stand-this-guy-would/

(click the link above to watch the video)
Is it true, even today, that money can’t buy you happiness? Well, it may be true, but money can buy you a lot of things that can make you happy. And it is also a fact that money can make the world go ‘round. Many would say, “Money can’t buy me,” but in the end they give in to money too. This man decided to have his girlfriend rented out for $11,000—and his girlfriend was cool with it too!

Here is the storyline:
The prankster approached this couple and asked the man if how much he would sell his girlfriend for a one-night-stand. The boyfriend replied, “A million dollars.” Well not quite. I was thinking he would start throwing punches at the prankster as he and his girlfriend were both insulted. But, no!
When offered $1000 (a far cry from a million), it can be seen that he was ready to give in, but hesitated in the last moment and said that his girlfriend was not for sale. But when offered an additional $10,000 the boyfriend had a sudden change of mind—and so did his girlfriend!


Below is the link to another video of Alisha, who think her boyfriend loves her more than anything in the world so decided to find out by setting him up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFxLQwp3DuM

Pup, read again and you will see who is actually daft.

MrBasketball:
And you that don't 0% of your brain... Now tell the entire Nairaland that you are daft.

MrBasketball:
For you to have upload this shows you are dirty... If you know how irritating this is.

for you to have think that way shows you don't use 5% of your brain

nairalandist:
You're a very disgusting girl. . .

I don't relate with people like u, boy!

Can you take/do this Romancelanders?

More
http://brainberries.co/funny/the-funniest-examples-of-autocorrect-fails/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=brainberries.co_mob_inter&utm_campaign=brainberries.co_mob_inter&utm_term=18926&utm_content=1463100

More. Pics

It may happen to everyone who uses autocorrect for writing messages and sometimes these fails can be really painful. But in some cases people use autocorrect to hide their real intentions, rather than mistakes. The worst thing  is realising  that the message has already been sent. Can you digg it?
Anyway this hilarious gallery of auto correct fails goes epic. Let’s take a closer look at the funniest auto correct situations of all time!

Sango's son indeed

If it is not your number one plan to make it in life, just put it on your list and you will see yourself scaling through.
Guys, what's your take on this?
Millionaires in the house, confirm this for the young ones
Ladies/women, can they really rely on you?