frozen70:


It depends on what you mean by submission, especially for those who are married to a man who cant provide for his family

She pays the house rent, school fees, hospital bills, other bills and probably feeding

These are the things a man that married her can't do and she is doing it all,

So is she not submissive enough

Or you expect her to work for the money and hand it over to the man

That's what you call submission abi ⁉️

Surely not. That's not the definition of submission. Any man who calls that submission is a cramp, if there's anything called by that name.

Now, the situation you painted actually exists in some occasions. However, what's wrong with such a man that his wife will do all of those things you mentioned and is still calling himself the man of the home?

No sane man will be comfortable getting all of those services from a woman you call your wife! If he is, then he's sick heavy.

Now, a wife could be favoured with all of those good things. A healthy husband should try to leverage on that woman's status by finding out what can I do to maintain my position as your husband!

Even if, your salary monthly may not be more than 200k, and here you have a wife earning 2m per month. Something from that 200k should come as your gift to the babe of your life regularly. Definitely, that salary of the man can't maintain the life of the wife, and a sane woman that earns 2m too is not going to be expecting you to maintain her and the home. All a sane woman will be looking for is just a sense of responsibility from the man. Buy simple things for the kids and the wife and appreciate the efforts of the woman.

That woman will be happy with your 200k and she'll do all of the rest with joy in her heart.

Anyway, remember my adjective for the woman, SANE! It's not everybody that is sane o!

tommy589:
Make she sef dey contribute o
E no easy

It would've been an awkward thing for him to take this new decision after his knowledge that she has kids before marrying her, but I suspect that the lady is taking that man's responsibility towards his step-children as her right from the way she was talking to the husband.

Wisdom has no mate. With wisdom, you can get anything in this life from the most difficult person imaginable.

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

Your case sounds simple but at the same time complex.

Just like some comments before this, religion seems to worrying both of you and you think its Christianity.

Most marriages are suffering from wrong teaching about marriage from Pentecostal churches. I'm a minister in a Pentecostal church. However, I've done enough study to see that most of what is taught isn't scriptural.

For example, a home is meant to be run by the husband, the wife is only a helper. Like the Yorubas will say; "gba ran mi ki di eleru", translated as a helper doesn't become the owner of the luggage.

Her money is her money, your money is our money! The earlier you accept this, the faster your peace will come. You ask me; what is she then to do with her money, the answer is that, it's her discretion.

On the other issues of domestic responsibility, all you need to do is to talk it over with her. If you allow her to work, pls realize that she's also a human being that'll get tired after a day's job.

For she to be pretending to be serving you when you visit your in-laws shows that she knew this is expected of her. Then ask her why she doesn't do that at home.

On sex matter, as long as all of these issues remain unresolved, there's no need for sex. If you have it, it is just masturbation in another way! I know we men can sleep with a lady under 2hrs of knowing her, that's not love making but a quickie. However, in a marriage it doesn't work. Unfortunately, for ladies, sex begins in the mind before hitting the sheets. A man doesn't need to dream of sex before having sex and that's the trouble.

If you want regular sex which is good for both of you, then you need to address this ladies dilemma.

Long story cut short, discuss all of these issues with her. From the look of things you're not romantic like most men.

You don't seem to have the key to her heart yet. Forget all the fight and schedule an outing for both of you and talk it through. From the look of things, both of you don't want divorce, so you can really work things out.

On the finance, she'll spend her money on you if you get these things sorted out.

From my analysis, that wife of yours will like sex if you get these issue sorted out. Break ego on your side and come down from your high horse and enjoy this woman.

Why can't you cook for that woman first? If you can cook, do it once and see how she'll begin to blush.

You don't have a serious problem as you painted it.

NwekeUG:


https://igberetvnews.com/1442433/wedding-21-year-old-couple-goes-viral-photos/

It all depends on their background and growing up experiences.

Twenty one years isn't too young an age to tie the knots. The world has simply gone confused leading to all of these complexities making people scared of getting married.

My mum got married in 1949 at 23, lived with my father till she was 79 while my father went home 3 months ahead of her at 88.

If the maturity is there, why not!

The popular televangelist TL OSBORN married his wife of 19 when he was 21!

He died at 90 while his wife died at 70 in 1995.

We can only wish them all the best of love, perseverance and forgiveness of each other ahead of the occurrences.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

I agree with the very first comment after your post.

Your revulsion is the reality of what you went through in the hands of your wife.

Can you genuinely say that your mum wasn't a pain in the neck whenever she came around to your place? If the answer is yes, and be frank in answering this! If the answer is yes, then you need to ask your wife if she's also asking that her mum comes stay in your house, after all marriage is for two people, and not three.

Whatever her response, remorseful or not, tell her to give you time to think about it! I pray she doesn't become nasty about your demand for time to think about it!

After about a week bring in your mother-in-law. If the old woman didn't open up the issue of why it took you time to accept her coming in, don't also talk about it, i also pray she doesn't. If she does, tell her the whole story and if she feels like going back to her home, fine with you!

I don't blame most of our young ladies who have been taught nonsense by most marriage counsellors and marriage motivational speakers, they've ruined marriages with their toxic nonsense they called teachings and seminars. All these talk about dont allow anybody to come in-between you and your husband nonsense teachings!

How can a spouse tell me he/she loves the partner and you don't love the mother of your partner? There are some nasty mothers -in-law no doubt, but if yours isn't such why have no love for her?

Just welcome her in as soon as you feel cool to do so.

The best way to punish your wife for what she did, is to take a good care of her mum! Pour the love you weren't allowed to give to your mum on her mum in a double manner and pray for the good health of that woman.

If your wife doesn't come around to beg you for the pains caused you, by pouring this love on her mum, then you need to give up on her! She's not a woman of substance, na just another woman.

All the best brother.

NairalandSon:
Let me start by saying security job is not my dream job but while I'm very hopeful of getting that dream job someday soon, body and soul need to be put together. An unemployed person with penniless pocket will certainly understand my predicament. The only option is to grab anything provided it can take of your very essential needs. Worse is when you wake up with no food to eat or not even soap to bath with, then you'd realize doing anything is sure better than nothing.

So I got this security job which I resumed yesterday. Could you believe that same yesterday, armed robbers operated in the area. As you know, security or what people call gateman is the one the armed robbers target first when they come to a place.

It was around 3:am when everywhere was quiet, As the security, I did a patrol around the compound when I noticed suspicious noise in the next compound. Before I know, I heard people shouting over there. I stayed back. In less than no time, I saw about 5 people coming straight to my compound. They pointed torch inside. I didn't bother to ask who they were cos I already knew. My people, I didn't even know when I commot for gear run to the backyard of the house, jumped over to the other side which is a bush, breathing like who just escaped death. Unfortunately, I sustained injury while running in the bush. Since the gate of the compound is not high, they jumped over it and gained entry into the compound, but thankfully they couldn't gain access to the house due to burglary after a long while of triaI. Unfortunately for me again, I slept in the bush till this morning.

Now, I learnt robbers operate in the area often. This has further put fear in me. I wouldn't want to be a victim of robbery circumstance because of a job whose salary cannot even meet one's needs.

So I am confused now. Even with the injury, should I go back to the place or not? Presently I don't have anything else doing and I don't have money to sustain myself either. Please what would you advise me?

Note: this happened somewhere in Delta state. I don't want to disclose the location for security reasons.

If you're not trained for this kind of job, you had better quit immediately.

There's no point repeating the danger associated with this kind of job.

There are less risky kind of jobs in the neighbourhood, but because the kind of education we were given dictates tie and belt kind of job, very destructive mindset, you might not want to go look for lesser risky but well paying job.

Any artisan job is all over you, look very well, no risk. You only need to swallow your funny pride of educated man.

Go to building sites, many unskilled jobs abounds. You can start with labour of 2500 - 3000 daily.

The choice is yours.

BOLATINUBU01:
He gat no choice than to return it, cos it will surely be traced, but the guy is trying to play smart to get a better reward, unfortunately he didn't get want he wanted



Good for him sha

He was expecting a better reward for his faithfulness. He should calm down. The real reward for his honesty or intelligence is on the way. May be not from this man.

Let the man be told that it could have been difficult to trace him if the money was forgotten in his workshop and he refused to return it, nobody can accuse him of anything, but on this one he can be traced no matter for how long he wants to hide.

The reward may be small compared to the amount he returned but it is still something. It is a gift. You don't determine the size of gift you must be given by a giver.

lhordspy:
Just look at the poor condition of the road.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRg7Mhr0qnU

This road looks like Lagos! Tinubu road!

SuperEagles22:
Nigerians abroad lack unity. Nigerian-American women dont date Nigerian-American men, especially during youth. And Nigerian-Americans and Nigerians in America dont support eachother like other cultural groups. For example, when Arabs Move to the United States they start businesses and employ other men from their Arab nations, however Nigerians in America dont employ eachother or attempt to build business relationships with other Nigerians to support eachother economically.

Does This Video Hold Any Truth?

https://www.youtube.com/live/xWMJs5NHnHk?feature=share

The reason is very simple.

Since 1960, we've not been opportuned to have a leader to build a Nigerian state.

So, in diaspora, there's nothing to bind them together.

Watch out in the next 1yr, the kind of bond you'll find among Nigerians will be unprecedented.

Half plot of land for sale in Santos estate in Akowonjo, Egbeda, Lagos.
Price is #30m Asking.
Good location in the estate.
Verifiable title as well.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

It's quite challenging to make a decision for someone in your shoe.

Your past experience can be a hindrance. It's your life, you must decide.

One, try to remove emotion from your decision. Don't sleep with him yet, if you do, you won't be able to assess him.

He may actually be serious and he may not, particularly if youre a beautiful woman. Men are easily carried away with beautiful women.

Like any other kind of marriage, fresh or this type of remarrying, understanding of the purpose of marriage is important. You must be ready to accommodate the other person's shortcomings. Successfully married people are those with no entitlement mentality. Be ready to give your all.

Don't marry the man if he's jobless, not necessarily rich, but must be able to take care of 6 children and you too.

From your assessment, if he can't don't fall for any promise.

Don't marry him out of pity.

Ahead of all I said above, pray to know what God is saying about it. I'm not asking you to go meet a pastor to find out, pray yourself and let God tell you His mind about it.

Can you hear God when He speaks?

Fira09:
🤣 🤣 😂 😂!

Whether empty or numerous, Bola Tinubu isn't winning the presidential election.

On PO mandate we stand.

Hmmm! Be careful of high blood presssure o!

Serious people don't put all their hopes on any man!

P.O. or no P.O. life continues after the election my brother.

Racoon:


https://www.farooqkperogi.com/2023/02/three-major-shifts-in-presidential.html

Atiku's spokesman, well done.

amechispeaks:
Being Disciplined Vs Being Passionate: Which Is More Important For Achieving Your Goals?

We are all trying to achieve something in life, and we all know being successful isn't easy.

It can require a combination of both discipline and passion. But in my opinion, I'd say discipline is more important to achieving set goals.

Discipline will take you where passion cannot.

I have been passionate about many things, but wasn't disciplined enough to follow through, hence I didn't succeed in them.

On the other hand, there were set goals I wasn't even passionate about, but I achieved them because I was disciplined enough to follow through to the end.

For example, I have always been passionate about writing fictional books, but for many years I had so many book ideas that never saw the light of day. This was because I wasn't disciplined enough to put in the hours required to write them. I was also too busy writing for my clients (but that's not an excuse for not writing my own personal projects).

It wasn't until 2020 that I decided that no matter the workload I have from my clients and no matter how tired I was from working, that I would still make out the time to write my own book. And in less than a month, I had finished my book which I released in October 2020.

That's my take on discipline and passion as far as achieving set goals is concerned.

What's yours? And do you have similar stories to share?

You need both. One without the other won't bring you success.

One is your accelerator pedal(PASSION), the other is your break pedal(DISCIPLINE)

Imagine not having break in your car, thats the situation without DISCIPLINE, likewise having a car without accelerator, you go nowhere!

derecho:
Nigerians can't wait to forget Buhari.He was a bad dream.
If not for Nairaland, I don't even know Buhari is still alive.

No be you say the man na Sudan Jubril before?

IDERAWOLE:


You got it.

They should both come to Onitsha and see wonders. Dubai and China is a child play when you see Enugu and Owerri. What's Lagos!

Do these IPOB GUYS realize that this statement is a sacarstic one?

Abi1985:
Since the time I was born, I have never seen a pastor carry gun and force person to give offerings or tithe.

So why are churches getting bad rep? No be by force to give, if you do not want to give, then do not give. After all, na your own money, so it is up to you to give or not to give. If you feel pressure or you are reluctant to give, please do not give at all.

If they talk sow a seed of 10,0000 naira or 50 naira, and you do not have or you do not want to give, do not stress yourself at all. Give what you can give easily and cheerful and if you do not want to, then don't.

Pastor can use words to persuade someone to give. At the end of the day, it is up to individuals to decide to give or not. So leave the Pastors and let them be.

If Pastor fly private jet, well good for him. If he use body guards, good for him. The body guards are getting paid and the private jet is not free.

It shows you're not a regular attendee of church meetings.

By the time the embarrassment of not joining the bandwagon of givers long enough, you'll look for another to go to.

Ibechris2:
U have a nice uncle.

But we may not know the full story here but it's indeed painful to hear stories like this.

I wonder how some women prioritise affairs over their children's future.

But if u are close to 25 of age I don't expect u to be in that house.

Our friend should tell us his age.

Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.

My brother, you need help and fast for that matter.

I had wanted to call you names, but I've restrained myself from doing so.

Love can be very dramatic sometimes so your funny behaviour is understandable. You may have gotten so carried away with the affection for this lady and it does happen.

However, let's talk straight here. This incident is a sign that God loves you, your mother dead or alive hasn't left you alone. This is not just a red flag, this is a rainbow flag for you to reset your brain sir.

Let's take it that she's so annoyed that you had to call her boss in that scenario, what's the reason she gave you or can give you for not picking your calls?

Please, let me even stop here. That lady has no single atom of respect for you and if you go ahead to marry her assuming she calms down, you'll be a foot mat for that lady.

You need the Frank talk like this one from many others that I've read tonight to come to your senses.

What you have for this lady is not love, it's either you're a gold digger or something has happened to your brain.

Which job is she having that you can't call her boss. This is a clear tale that whatever job they're doing in that setup is nothing legal. Watch out, you'll soon cry if you don't check your brain tonight and do something tangible with your life.

You can just ignore this comment if you like.

Bayonet40:
Saw this on a facebook page and decided to share here, what's your take?

Hmmm "Okafor's Law" I guess........




https://www.facebook.com/100077444346401/posts/200791155845695/?app=fbl

Since you're not the lady in question, let's talk for the sake of others.

Two wrongs will never a right! Remove religion or spirituality aside, the lady in question is ignorantly going to carry a burden for life. For now, let her be making shakara.

While there might not be a bastard child, there's is bastard mother.

If she can go the extent of looking for the lady so that she can apologize to her, why not wait for answer to the prayers offered? That's the problem of praying to a God you don't know, or a prayer merchant praying for you.

If the God they prayed is understood by the lady that He can be her father if He's not yet, then she won't take laws into her hands to injure her heart.

The bottom line is that, the knowledge of God makes all the difference in circumstance no matter how bad it may be.

MP3GAGAdotCOM:

See hatred in action!

Tokskob2008:
While peace of mind is very important so is reading and writing too, there are adult classes everywhere now so there shouldn't be excuse as to why the person can't read and write.

Let me respond to this, it resonates with my view. You can help a wife who's not learned to read and write but I doubt if there's any help for one that can't guarantee peace of mind for the husband. Lack of peace from a woman is all about upbringing, some twenty or more years ago. You can't teach that any longer, it's too late. For knowledge? You can learn that at age 70 or even older. Whatever makes a woman gives you a peaceful life is internal and huge, same with the one that is a trouble shooter, huge and internal too. Both can't be unlearned. Only God's spirit can help the latter. So make your choice.

wasuka14:
My wife Twins sister moved to our apartment of a room and parlour self-contain with her 4 kids after the demise of her husband without notice to me.

Honestly, I really need urgent advise as I can't have access to my apartment or to my wife again. As her twin sister moved in to my small apartment with her 4 kids and loads of clothes and some other luggages. Therefore, no single space left in my parlour to sit or leave again.
Am mentally stress with what am passing through now. For 2 weeks now, I can't sleep in a small house am managing with my wife and our 4 kids too. The issue at hand is not even about apartment alone but also of feeding.
Now, before now, my wife used to manage 2500 to feed all of us for breakfast alone. But now, she barely manage 6000 every morning.
Thereby, increase daily expenses on food to like 14-16k daily depends on my pocket.
And the funny thing is that,both the sisters are not working so as to at least support with something.
For now, am managing to pass night in my shop, but twice in a day they will send my first child to my shop to fetch money for food. Am really tire. I am just a bloody welder.
I don't know how to take care of these migrants going forward.
My wife can't drive away her twins sister by herself, am also too timid to drive them because of human feeling in me. Pls what do I do. I really need help and serious advise from fellow Nigerian and non- Nigerian

You're sounding like someone not qualified to go into marriage.

How did you marry your wife? Somebody spoke to her on your behalf? If it is you, speak the same way you spoke to her when you're about proposing to her, lovingly ask her whether she wants you to die before your time.

You're shy to talk now, you won't be shy when you're totally down.

Who gave birth to your wife and the twin sister? And the two of them are not planning to work?

Keep spending 15k daily to feed lazy sisters, you'll soon wise up.

You don't need any advice! Maybe you're enjoying both sisters sha!

I would be a liar if I say it has not been daunting and I do not miss you. However, I have since come to the realization that no matter what , no man should dine in the table where love, respect and dignity are not served ! This is my new reality!

Dear Wife, Enjoy your own reality that you created for yourself and stay blessed...

This last comment of yours caught my attention and convinced me that you're both hurting but still love each other. For me there's no doubt that your wife brought all of these upon you and herself, even though you too will have your own faults too!

If either or both of you can get a good counsellor, you can restore this marriage, not just for the sake of your chikdren, but for both of you!

I'm so sure both of you will appreciate each other better now than before.

Marriage is relationship between two people who decided to love each other, but also understood that offence cannot but be part of the menu and are ready to forgive each other in advance before they're committed.

Your respective families shouldn't take a centre stage in the relationship, most of the time they end up destroying the marriage, if the spouses aren't matured enough.

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

Little or nothing to add to most of what have been said.

I just want to advise you to move fast, your reconciliation process may be too late by the time you know it.

Look for someone whom your hubby respect very well and ask the person to intervene. Of course you must be sober by now of your attitude, which is nothing but foolery.

If you're still interested in that marriage, move fast and with prayers too.

Henrymas:
Any Idiot that is campaigning for EMILOKAN is a retard and definitely suffers symptoms of bipolar.
Despite how APC has weaponised poverty to deal a heavy blow on the masses of this country and made their lives unbearable, some satanic elements whose god is their belly and greed their compass are gearing up to campaign for the criminal and drug lord to wreak more havoc. What a shame!!!

You're right brother, 1 million APC members decamped in Lagos state for PDP!

SATANICALLY:


https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2022/09/26/4000-apc-members-join-pdp-in-kwara/

Wow! The train is moving!

5555 APC members decamp in ABIA STATE for PDP. More are still coming.

Corridon:
Tinubu and Sanwo olu failed.

You got it.

They should both come to Onitsha and see wonders. Dubai and China is a child play when you see Enugu and Owerri. What's Lagos!

festacman:
Beautiful sight seeing these beautiful Nigerian ladies mourning Queen Elizabeth II in spectacular Aso Ebi.

The truth is knowing the truth of British colonialism doesn't set anybody free. It is what you do with truth that sets you free. What Uju Anya said is not anything new. The historical fact has always been there and recognized. The earlier every Blackman knows that the Whiteman can't love him like his mother, the better for the Blackman's mentality to fight for himself. The sooner the Blackman realises that crying about injustices (which also happen even within the his own society) or playing the victim will not make the Whiteman slow down in racial RAT RACE, the better for the Blackman to puts his house in order.

Uju Anya twitted her message of hatred against the oppressor while in the oppressor's country and hailed by some Nigerians and Africans who live in oppressor's country and live off his economy as immigrants or are making frantic effort to leave his own country to the country of the oppressor. Africa with country that bask in xenophobia to protect its interest is not any less than an oppressor. Africa with country in which certain ethnic groups views others with extreme derogation is a boiling pot of anti-progress energies.

Several years after that Nigeria/Biafran war, the British authorities can't be held responsible for the poor performance of the Governors of South Eastern States. There is nothing stopping South East from still being another Japan if its State Governors would invest instead looting. Believe me, if South East States were developed infrastructurally with industries, well-supervised schools, well-planned towns, etc, countries of the world will respect the region while other regions in Nigeria would have driven by envy to also perform to catch up.

Your own brother took a large of the common patrimony and hid it in the oppressor's country but instead of seizing it, the oppressor returned the money and insisted you spend on something that would improve your economy for the fear that another brother would steal the money again. So much for Blackman's activism against Whiteman's oppression. Fix your leaky house and watch your neighbour respect you more.

You just nailed it, nothing more to be said.

Zee0007:
He doesn't hate him, probably the guy is seeing some behaviours about the boy that you easily condole. As a man, he knows if your boy persist with such behaviour, he will be doom.

I think you should sit down with him and discuss what is the rationale behind his act towards the boy. A simple communication with him will clarify most of your assumptions.

It is interesting to read some people's comment about issues here.

If you're looking for a serious advice, this is one here. You don't need any other thing!

First, how old is your son? Do you see anything worrisome about yoir son? Most of us parents will keep indulging our children up until they become wahala in our hands.

Simple, sit down with him and find out what the issue is with him and your son.

I pray you'll be frank enough with your son and this man's view!

jumper524:
I'm sure this were the same fellas yelling at apc chieftain that he failed.
Mumu failures.
They don't care how it's done, the want it done.

Funny! Are these lawyers?

These are the guys who are calling for a new hand in gov't, the OBIdients as they call themselves!

I laugh in French!

Vikkoh:
What other advice do you want Bros?

She was pregnant and was still collecting from her EX?
That's the height of it my brother.

You can't cope with someone like that and if you decide to manage the situation hoping she'd change, kindly write down your will and carefully allocate your properties to your Child/Children cos she'll lead you to your grave in years to come.

Dump her sorry a$$ and take care of your children the best way you can.
Forget what the society would say. Your life and sanity matters and you shouldn't joke with that.

Meanwhile, don't listen to the Righteousness guy.
Him go start to dey explain how your story is a sign of end time .

I almost called you a name that would've made you sad for a long time.

You're simply not a man. That lady must have paid the dowry herself to cover your shame.

With all the signals you saw, before marrying her, you're still crying all over the place.

That girl even try to still stay with you.

You're something else.