I met this girl sometimes in 2018. She was living with her aunt who was not being nice, and early 2020 she returned to her mom. Im fact it was so terrible that and she survived several abuses from her aunt's husband, which she told me. I was actually the main force behind her eventual liberation and relocation to her mom. We've been together all through.
Then, mid this year, things went rough with her mom, and the poor woman returned to the village. Then she landed with this family friend of theirs(not related, but their mothers are old friends). This family lives a stone throw to her mom's place.
She's told me before she joined this family how their last son was troubling her for a date, but she has been refusing. Then mid this year she moves in with same family. It is a family of 3 boys. She would always be the one cooking for the family. Sometimes, she would have to cook and wash for the same boy and take food it to his house (which is a short distance from d family house). It did not stop there, anytime they are broke, the mother would send her to go and beg the same guy for money (teasing her that she has a way of collecting money from her son).
If I had d means I'd have also gotten an apartment so we could have more time together, but things neva set..I dey hustle nor be say I lazy, but soon sha God go perfect am.
I know what and what could have happened in all this drama but I want to gear from my agbas in the building - how should I go about this matter. Thank u.
Don't worry u can yab me
Your situation is quite complex.
It is a rare opportunity for you to see your fiance in a very tight situation and how she'll handle her commitment to you.
Now that she's been talking to you about how they've been hassling her about date, ask her if it's not better she just go ahead and date the boy or boys, then see how she'll react, not just immediately but consistently tell her that you understand her situation.
If she decides to pack out, even if it's to nowhere then this will tell you that you have a wife there.
If she cries after some weeks of resisting going along with the family she's staying with and then give in to the pressure, thank God for your life and thereafter, move on. Your own will soon show up.
Don't be sentimental with this thing at all, for your own good.
If she caved in to the offer from the boys in that family, don't hate her for it, it's just that she can't handle the pressure that comes with life.
The moment you take your mind away from that tough scenario, things will begin to fall in place if you know what to do.
Now, about yourself and your future. Women can be loyal to the point that their strength can carry it, beyond that point, you are on your own sir. So, define the future you want for yourself.
Life is not a rocket science, God loves all creatures, irrespective of your spirituality now. However, you can take your spirituality to the next level with God.
What do want in life? You need to know how to get it.
Nobody becomes anything in this world without a higher power! The world is a war zone, you must fight, but who will be your captain of war is the issue!
If you want Jesus to be your captain of the host of heaven, make up your mind, if you want to patronize babalawo, make up your mind. Each has its different end.
You don't need Jesus to make it materially in this world, but if you want peace in this world with your wealth, you can't do without Jesus!
However, after this world, without Jesus, you'll feel stupid when all of these hustles are over.
So, what do you want to become? Get the blueprint from Jesus and the rest of your story will become history.
Let me jump on it. I have this guy who has been friends with a lady for couple of years. Maybe about 8years or thereabout. They v been hanging often she is always at his and sometimes he is with her at her family house.
She recently got married to a white guy who isn't based in Nigeria but rented her an apartment and a lot more. Her husband is aware of the guy so he has no doubt about them.
Now the problem is since her new apartment, the male friend visits her often like oldies and u know still hang around even spends the night there and all. According to him, no sex, she stays in her room and he stays in another. But he recently started complaining that hsi friends feels he should stop visiting her. Not for any concrete reason though than she is married.
Note. The husband doesn't leave in the house.
Why do some Nigerians love problem like this?
On what basis are you going to stay with a lady who is now married not to talk of spending the night is her house that the husband rented for her, for God's sake?
Don't you have your own house or what? Anyway, that's your headache!
Remember oyinbo goes about with his gun, whether in obodo land or naija.
You better leave that trouble alone and face your own life!
I wanted to start up a POS business with my savings of N65k, but the POS man that i consulted to assist me said i would need at least N150k to start up a POS business.
I've really been hustling everyday, doing hard works (especially on bulding sites), taking pain killer drugs on daily basis..
I don't think it will be easy for me to raised my savings up to that amount 'N150k' with the type of work that i do..
I wanted to travel to the city with my ND (National Diploma) result, so i can use it to look for work, I posted it here on nairaland, but 80% of the advice i got from this forum said it will be hard to see a paying job with ND result, while some said it is not even possible. So i couldn't travel again..
Now that my savings isn't enough to start up a POS business, i'm thinking of starting up a standard akara and akamu business and probably extend the business along the run..
As someone known by his people to have went to school, is the business worth the shame?
I'll be very frank with you.
It is good to hustlfor anything that will pay your bills, but also check out yourself, what do you have passion to do!
With your ND, really, there's nothing to be shy about if you're not shy about it. However, if you're shy, then what else do you know how to do?
As an ND holder, this should put you up to learn more things. Digital skills is another option. If you're not lazy about reading and learning then go to an online platform to learn one or two things.
This short video shows how the number of universities in Nigeria grew from 1 university in 1948 (pre-independence) to 197. Today (September 2021), the number of private universities surpasses the total number of public universities in Nigeria (federal and state-owned). Private universities are 99 while public universities are 98 (federal universities are 45 and state universities are 53 as at the time of this publication).
Between year 2000 and 2010, the number of private, federal and state universities grew by 93%, 7% and 51% respectively.
Between year 2010 and 2020, the number of private, federal and state universities grew by 49%, 40% and 30% respectively.
Between year 2000 and 2020, the number of private, federal and state universities grew by 96%, 44% and 66% respectively.
Good Day, everyone, am having a serious challenge in my marriage, been married for a year and was no Premarital sex, since I need to promise her am a faithful guy and based on religion ground….
But honestly even in the marriage, it has been one sided, she said my private part is to big and I stay too long, I do every for her, love her, care for her, help her in kitchen, setup a home business/career for her to save her the stress of going out. I give her head, sometimes I suck and engage in pre-intimacy for long , but many times, since we had gotten married, I am the only active person, sometimes for a month no sex, am getting frustrated, I need advice. Everytime i try to discuss it, she say i should try to understand that she is nott the sex type. Am tearing apart on my inside. What can i do pls
Hmmm, I feel you.
Just relax and calm down.
The truth is that sexual matters are not always what you read or watch in porns.
There's a side of your wife yet to be discovered! Take your time to discover it.
Don't back down on the love languages you've been speaking. However, you may need to withdraw from those sexual gimmicks you've been trying to use. She may not even like them.
Why not try jisting and see if she'll like that. Sexual preferences are as diverse as people. Find out hers.
Let me tell you, sex for newly married is huge with a lot of fantasies, so I can feel you.
Believe it, women too loves it, but theirs are a bit complex.
For a guy, except the wife has emotionally wounded him, all he needs to be ready for sex is her body.
For a lady, it may be more, How do you know that? Ask her.
Talk about other things of interest to her. She may love outings. Find out!
Solofresh2: Hello fellow Nairalanders, Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad I lack self confidence too I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me I don't even know where to start from Am tired of this goddamn world!
If your story is true, then you're far better than millions of Nigerians with plenty shakara and bragados!
It's just that you haven't realized it.
You are shy because of your opinion of yourself.
Just believe me and tell yourself that it wasn't too bad as you think.
The starting point is to love people and be kind to others, you'll start seeing some confidence build up in you as such people begin to thank and appreciate your kindness to them.
On your gift, use it wherever you find opportunities.
Above all, you need to know your maker. Without Him, even with the best of your gifts. Life can be dull.
Oga crypto isn't forex. There's a big difference between them. I don't encourage anyone to trade for another. I believe in do-it-yourself and learn-it-yourself. No need to reach out to you for anything. State it here.
Thank you.
You want me to explain the difference between crypto and forex on this page here?
So all the things you'll need to learn in 6months should be put on the page here? Thank you.
If you know the difference between crypto and forex like you said, go ahead and teach our friend how to make that money here. I'm willing to learn from you too.
obi4eze: Crypto Futures. If you know what you're doing you can make 20 USDT (equivalent of 10k Naira) per day.
While I agree with you, if you know what you are doing its possible but not a straight jacket process.
A lot goes into crypto/forex biz!
The beautiful thing in this is that you earn in dollars, but it's not an overnight success.
For you who is sounding desperate to make that money, don't go near crypto or forex, you'll blow your money within 10mins if you're not careful.
If you're an experienced trader in forex, it is possible! For a beginner, impossible!
How long will it take you to become experienced trader? It's a minimum of 6months of learning and trading with a mentor or training school. One actually exists in Lagos, an American company that you can check out.
Even with that American company, you can't make that return on investment immediately. You must learn it.
With #350k, good and thorough training, mentorship, good broker like the one I'm talking about, you can make #28,000 daily after about 6months - 1year of trading.
Alternatively, let someone trade for you, and you split the money 50:50.
You don't have to hand over the money to the trader, you'll be able to open a trading account with the Nigerian based American broker company, the trader will be trading with your account, you'll be seeing the progress being made, but without you touching the account so that you don't blow it and on a weekly basis you split the profit.
Now, let me say this; you're better paid on a weekly basis, rather than daily, because it's not everyday that profit comes in the way you plan it. However, within a week you can cover grounds for the slow days in the market.
Reach me via my signature if you're interested and want more information.
doghorp: I am currently a 300 Level studying, I rarely see advert that says Bachelor Degree in Physics.
This question of yours and those advising you to abandon the course simply shows that you may be in the university, the university isn't yet in you.
Apart from your lectures, what other things do you read?
Education is more than that paper in your hand called degree by the ignoramus, the real degree is a combination of the knowledge in whatever course of study you're into, and relevant information about what's going on around you and in the world.
This is the problem of education in Nigeria.
Physics is the heaviest and the most diversified course in the whole of science and engineering. The toughest if you need to know.
So if you're having better grades thus far in your school, count yourself lucky but ignorant
You had better make use of that smart phone in your hand to know more about the world, and leave the camp of the Joneses in Nigerian schools.
Ekomatrix1: I have this girl I have been dating for 4 years and we are planning to get married to this year. But I notice she does not like to sacrifice. I mean, she is kind of selfish.
she is studying and i send her money aside the one the parent gives to her but if i request for a video call, she would ask me to send her data, if she comes to my house and i don't give her TP not minding that i gave her money some weeks/days back she would be angry.
Yesterday i booked a ticket for her to come to lagos from anambra, after booking she asked me to also send her some feeding money for the journey. I refused and asked her to take from the 20k I sent to her last 2 weeks, she then said " WHO PAYS FOR TP AND NOT GIVES FEEDING MONEY?
Long story short, I had to cancel the ticket. I have constantly complained about her selfishness but no improvement .
what should i do?
Some stupid questions are all over this Nairaland!
Nedfed: Good day to everyone here. Hope you all are having lovely time out over there. Kindly help a brother with an advice. What lucrative business can he engage/ start with 100k? Presently he has no job but a family man. Any suggestion or idea is welcome. Kindly help Location: Ekiti
Your exposure and level of education is key in what you do!
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Good day poster.
There's no problem in your situation. It's either you experienced something unique/different or there's nothing after your conversion.
If there is, you have little praying and thinking to do. The Holy Spirit which you now relate with is already giving you the red flag.
Your parents joy is not your joy in your marriage, it's the other way round.
Your partner will show up when you surrender to the choice of God.
It's a new life that you have now.
There's no carry over in relationship. Even he gets saved now, it's not a proof that he's your husband.
AAbuja: I once worked for one back in 2019. Both the woman and the man were pastors. The pay was was very low and sometimes it will be half of your total salary.
One thing I noticed was that whenever they want to introduce a bad policy, they start with biblical verses and then give a flimsy reason for the decision. You cant fight it because what can you do when your coworkers has been brainwashed
Well when I look back now I understand why they couldn't pay or slashed salaries. The school was being constructed with different loans. They had to pay back so there is no way they won't cheat the workers if at all they intend to meet up with the loan requirements
The loan they're paying back is no excuse to break God's law about paying your workers their due wages.
Go and check, there's no business plan for that project. You may even discover that there's no professional engaged on that business or project to help them in sorting out the loan repayment strategy and at the same time continue to meet up with the obligation of paying salaries.
May God forgive us of ignorance in the body of Christ!
namiji2598: Good morning nairaland Good morning Nigeria
Sometimes when I look back at my self, I was a good student, the best in my department, but after graduation I have learnt that book life is different from street life.... I have been depressed in the past, but i motivate myself and move on. I have been teaching in one private school like that for two years now hoping job go come yet nothing nothing
Are there people wearing this same shoe of mine? If yes how are u coping
You got it right brother. Book life is far different from street life.
Robert Kiyosaki wrote a book titled: WHY C STUDENTS EMPLOY A STUDENTS
Life outside of school is more of relationship which is never taught in class.
Also remember, whether people agree with it or not, apart from Nigerian gov't that pays salary for doing nothing, all income is based value provided, that comes from the skills you've acquired! What skills do you have now?
Learn one skill or the other that won't get you discouraged before you finish the training.
What's your area of university training? What other skills can you get trained in?
Till the world will come to an, as long as there are problems, money will continue to follow values provided.
Even if you want a better job with bigger pay, if you don't want to earn income by yourself. Improve your skill sets.
PERVENCHE: *NOTE With all due respect, I have changed names and some too familiar details about myself out of respect for my wife to be. I know she likes to catch cruise on nairaland.
My name is Friday (of course not my real name) I am from the middle-belt. So please save your tribalism with all those una Igbo, Yoruba and Hausa insults. I met Grace(my wife to be) few years ago. It was love at 1st sight. She was everything and is still everything I had hoped a woman should be. There is this crass about her that makes her effortlessly better than any lady around her. My type in the true sense of the word. Tall, busty, curvy, sassy, elegant, personable and above all, she has a graceful soul. From the 1st date to this day, I still pinch my self like.. What in God's green earth is a beauty like her doing with a shrek like me.
But then, true perfection is always a utopia. Grace in all her graceful demeanour and aura, has a flaw; Indecision! More so, blind trust seems to be her albatross. (I swear she can even take Lai Muhammad's word to the bank) Though, I still love her; flaws and all. Her complete or should I say blind trust for me and Abigail became one of the reasons Abigail(her younger sister) has become an unending chapter in our relationship. Even though the blame of what happened squarely falls on me.
Abigail just shy off 20, is too savvy for her age. Not the outright outstanding beauty like my Grace. What ever little she lacks in beauty, she more than makes up for it in her mentality. For she is truly a smart and an intelligent girl. Just five years younger than Grace. One who expect them at least to be close and be like Asaba and Onisha but then...they are the direct opposite of each other. While Grace is the introverted shy person, Abigail is quite the extrovert and likes to make friends for Africa. It is only fair to believe their formative time in secondary school played a part in their output towards life. Grace likes to conform like most day school students. Abigail on the other hand, is the boarding school nightmare all parents hope not to experience: the deviant.
Through the 1st years we dated, Abigail was in secondary school and was never in the picture. For some odd or strange reason, Grace was not ready to fully commit. Not that I blame her or something. At 23, Most girls her age are like Alice in wonderland; they crush on celebrities and Chase childhood dreams and fantasies. The vile ones, if truth be told...tend to live out their hoė phase. At 28, I was already grounded to know what I wanted and it was Grace and marriage. Sometimes, you do all you can do but then life has a way of throwing in a curveball. More over, "No be say because I wan chop egg I go begin dey worship chicken." Sensing her shakara, I pulled the hand brakes on us and walked out of the relationship.
***2 years later*** Fortunately or unfortunately after letting go, Grace became incensed and started to want me back. I hardly do any social media at this point. Pride won't let her call me, so there was no way to send coded messages on whatsapp status to me. Being the introvert that she is and the all trusting graceful Grace, she started to send Abigil over to my place to bridge the gap. In just over two years, Abigail had changed and developed into a sexy hippie bohemian. Not that I fancy her in any erotic way or something. It's just that in our contemporary naija society where mostly everyone conforms, it is hard not to notice a bohemian.
Knowing I would do no better than Grace even with a million dollars and in a hundred years of searching, I mended fences with Grace and our relationship became stronger than ever. Over time, Abigail became a bridge between us. At first, Grace would send her over to run errands for her. After a while, it became a second nature for her to come over and fidget with my electronics. Courtesy demands you be nice to your in-laws to be and so I was nice to Abigail.
Abigail's posturing over time made it difficult for me to say no to her especially during them Nengi and Laycon days in the house. She was a fan of big brother lockdown. And would always ask for my keys to watch the silly show for she was equally as silly to be gushing over that vanity fair. Grace seems not have any issues with her coming over and I also did not for I was hardly home and God knows the sub was kinda wasting away.
There are some things in life that are not planned. They just happen! My boss at work then tested positive for Covid and we were all asked to quarantine at home. Grace still had to go to work while Abigail was always free because of the ASSU strike. Suddenly, I started to be alone with Abigail. She would come over "for big brother" around 9am and leave around 7pm in time to beat her curfew at home. It was awkward staying all day with Abigail. Grace too predictable, only comes over on Sunday. For some strange reasons, on Sundays, Abigail will never show up.
There were times, and I am sure it could just be my imagination, that she enjoyed teasing me. She would come dressed like a sister Mary Amaka from home but after a while, she would take her bath and transform into a Kardashian. Wearing skimpy cloths and heavy make-up. I tried to give her her space. I was in quarantine and therefore, had practically no where to go. I am basically the type that don't flock with co-workers and I hardly keep any friends except for Grace. I am not one to be neighbourly with my neighbours so I was stuck with Abigail all day. Humans are social animals and we tend to gravitate towards each other especially when we are alone with someone. Gradually, she won me over and I started to watch the big brother show with her. While she was rooting for Nengi after her Erica left, I was simply for Neo for he had my height. And the bond between us grew. God knows I had no vile motives and evil intentions. It is hard not to enjoy Abigail's company for she is a smart, gleeful and witty girl. While I do all the talking with Grace, Abigail on the other hand does all the talking with me and it was a welcome change.
*** D Day *** It became obvious Abigail was not telling the truth at home. She would pick their calls and tell them she was in her female friend's house. And in the spirit of our new found big brother bond. We kept the secret. On this faithful day, it had rained all day and Nepa had struck and the plug in my generator was no good. The rain had brought with it a cool breeze and some magical thunder. Seemingly, we could not watch our show so I took a blanket because of the cold and buried my attention on my PC (laptop) re-watching season 5 of the game of thrones.
Naively, Abigail joined me and entered the blanket with me. I use the word 'naive' because I honestly do not want to qualify her as a minx. And I know she does not see me as a Justine Bieber of a crystal ball for her to be drooling at. While in that warm blanket watching the movies in such compromising position, One thing led to another and alot of that one thing opened up her Pandora's box and I... I ate the most forbidden fruit there ever was. There is no telling how wonderful making love to her was at the heat of the moment and there's no shame in the world that equates to the shame that immediately dwell and still dwells in my soul shortly after even to this day. There's a lot to blame our mistake and betrayal on. Could it just be the moment? the weather? the chemistry? the devil? (laughs) my opportunistic habit? Her feminine warmth in such close proximity? my placing a hand on her thigh and meeting no resistance? My foggy mind and grown erection? Her racing and panting heart? Her feisty zeal and deviant nature? My libido? Hers? My morals? Buhari? Herdsmen? IPOB? Sunday Igbahor? Dstv and big brother? NEPA? Game of thrones? Was she after all really a minx? In all fairness, she is just a little naive girl that does not deserve to be pilloried for my betrayal. As the adult, I should have known better and acted a lot better.
Climbing down from our lustful climax, we both knew immediately what we had done, the gravity and the implications it could have on not just us, but grace and the whole family. In the most contrite way possible, we apologized to ourselves and vowed never to repeat it again. We felt it would be better not to tell Grace or anyone and we agreed Abigail would stop coming over. I started to avoid Abigail at all cost. I did not just release cum after my despicable act with Abigail, I released every thing good in me and every form of happiness. I felt much less of a man and wished I had died as a child or better still was aborted.
I hardly could face Grace after. The more I try to ghost her, the more she held on tightly. It became awkward visiting their family house for I was not comfortable around them trusting and accepting me. Not for the fear that they would find out...just my conscience eating me up. I stayed away and made peace with my gross mistake. For over six to seven months. I did my penance and nothing happened with Abigail. I know I am in a better place now to make sane decisions about cheating. To give something back to Grace, I have vowed never to sleep with anyone till die. We know how cheating amongst married men is common these days. I no call Adekule Gold name oh!
Me and Grace are set to marry on the 17th of this April. The thing is...Abigail is her chief bridesmaid and preparation demands I see her most times. She still has a look in her eyes...dunno what to make of it. A look of blackmail? Of you could still hit it if you want? We have unfinished business kinda look? You should be paying a bride price for two look? I die inside every time I see Grace happy she again got us back to talking terms because of the wedding. Ignorance is truly bliss.
I have doubts going through with this wedding. Folks may laugh and say I chickened out because of the inflation and money, others might blame Grace. It may ruin Grace for ever. How do I do this knowing Abigail will always be family?
I hope this is just a good writer trying to hit the bookstand as soon as possible. You write well, no doubt. I'm simply saying, this shouldn't be true.
Well, if it is not a nice attempt at fiction writing, this is bad, dangerous, and pain lying in ambush for you in not too distant future.
It happens to all mortals, when you pray that the trap you opened your wide eyes and run into.
Have you ever heard the phrase, FLEE FORNICATION ? This is the reason. We don't have the capacity to embrace fire and not get burnt.
Okay, enough of my preaching. What do you do now?
If you are indeed a man, and faithful like you made to believe here, within one week, you would have killed that snake that is about to swallow you up like Anaconda by arranging for a joint conference of three among the two sisters and your self. Break the ice on everyone's head right there, and let the worse happen.
You would've saved yourself from the current harrowing experience that may last a lifetime if you're not careful.
For me it is too late in the day to call such conference now. You may have to wait till after the wedding. You need a strong man as a referee in the fight that may break out after breaking the ice though.
You'll be lucky if Grace decide to live to her name by acting gracefully upon hearing the foolish behavior of yours. The next battle you may not be able to stop or prevent is between Grace and Abigail.
You may want to wait for my next post on how to handle that championship of a fight. Did you hear of RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE ?
Contact this lawyer fast in Abeokuta. I don't want his name written here. If you want to save that house or get handsomely compensated, you need a lawyer who has worked in the civil service of the state. Send WhatsApp via my signature below, and I'll send you his number.
FortifiedCity: When Sunday Ighogho became popular since this fulani ish, then I discovered how much lots of Yoruba people needed a saviour and a daring fighter, someone to stand up for them and confront the common enemy. They literally cried for help.
Yet some of them will hide under cowardice and be lambasting Nnamdi Kanu but secretly wished they had him
Lol!
I like Nnamdi Kanu. You'll the Igbos are very bold stock.
Sunday Igboho go hide for Ibadan when Nnamdi Kanu is sharing fence with buhari for Aso Rock.
Romance / Re: My Girlfriend Been Living With Family Friends Whose Son Is Asking Her Out by IDERAWOLE(m): 6:35pm On Nov 19, 2021 
