Nedfed:
Good day to everyone here. Hope you all are having lovely time out over there.
Kindly help a brother with an advice.
What lucrative business can he engage/ start with 100k?
Presently he has no job but a family man. Any suggestion or idea is welcome.
Kindly help
Location: Ekiti

Your exposure and level of education is key in what you do!

cPapaAjascO:
help me na... can u guide me through.

What am I suppose to be doing at this point?

How old are you?

Even if you are 12, all you need start a relationship with is just being friends so that you can both know each other better.

From there, you can take it up to the level of dating without the tension of how to sleep with her.

Boys! Become a man my friend!

mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Good day poster.

There's no problem in your situation. It's either you experienced something unique/different or there's nothing after your conversion.

If there is, you have little praying and thinking to do. The Holy Spirit which you now relate with is already giving you the red flag.

Your parents joy is not your joy in your marriage, it's the other way round.

Your partner will show up when you surrender to the choice of God.

It's a new life that you have now.

There's no carry over in relationship. Even he gets saved now, it's not a proof that he's your husband.

AAbuja:
I once worked for one back in 2019. Both the woman and the man were pastors. The pay was was very low and sometimes it will be half of your total salary.

One thing I noticed was that whenever they want to introduce a bad policy, they start with biblical verses and then give a flimsy reason for the decision. You cant fight it because what can you do when your coworkers has been brainwashed

Well when I look back now I understand why they couldn't pay or slashed salaries. The school was being constructed with different loans. They had to pay back so there is no way they won't cheat the workers if at all they intend to meet up with the loan requirements

The loan they're paying back is no excuse to break God's law about paying your workers their due wages.

Go and check, there's no business plan for that project. You may even discover that there's no professional engaged on that business or project to help them in sorting out the loan repayment strategy and at the same time continue to meet up with the obligation of paying salaries.

May God forgive us of ignorance in the body of Christ!

namiji2598:
Good morning nairaland
Good morning Nigeria


Sometimes when I look back at my self, I was a good student, the best in my department, but after graduation I have learnt that book life is different from street life....
I have been depressed in the past, but i motivate myself and move on.
I have been teaching in one private school like that for two years now hoping job go come yet nothing nothing


Are there people wearing this same shoe of mine? If yes how are u coping

You got it right brother. Book life is far different from street life.

Robert Kiyosaki wrote a book titled: WHY C STUDENTS EMPLOY A STUDENTS

Life outside of school is more of relationship which is never taught in class.

Also remember, whether people agree with it or not, apart from Nigerian gov't that pays salary for doing nothing, all income is based value provided, that comes from the skills you've acquired! What skills do you have now?

Learn one skill or the other that won't get you discouraged before you finish the training.

What's your area of university training? What other skills can you get trained in?

Till the world will come to an, as long as there are problems, money will continue to follow values provided.

Even if you want a better job with bigger pay, if you don't want to earn income by yourself. Improve your skill sets.

All the best to you.

PERVENCHE:
*NOTE
With all due respect, I have changed names and some too familiar details about myself out of respect for my wife to be. I know she likes to catch cruise on nairaland.

My name is Friday (of course not my real name) I am from the middle-belt. So please save your tribalism with all those una Igbo, Yoruba and Hausa insults. I met Grace(my wife to be) few years ago. It was love at 1st sight. She was everything and is still everything I had hoped a woman should be. There is this crass about her that makes her effortlessly better than any lady around her. My type in the true sense of the word. Tall, busty, curvy, sassy, elegant, personable and above all, she has a graceful soul. From the 1st date to this day, I still pinch my self like.. What in God's green earth is a beauty like her doing with a shrek like me.

But then, true perfection is always a utopia. Grace in all her graceful demeanour and aura, has a flaw; Indecision! More so, blind trust seems to be her albatross. (I swear she can even take Lai Muhammad's word to the bank) Though, I still love her; flaws and all. Her complete or should I say blind trust for me and Abigail became one of the reasons Abigail(her younger sister) has become an unending chapter in our relationship. Even though the blame of what happened squarely falls on me.

Abigail just shy off 20, is too savvy for her age. Not the outright outstanding beauty like my Grace. What ever little she lacks in beauty, she more than makes up for it in her mentality. For she is truly a smart and an intelligent girl. Just five years younger than Grace. One who expect them at least to be close and be like Asaba and Onisha but then...they are the direct opposite of each other. While Grace is the introverted shy person, Abigail is quite the extrovert and likes to make friends for Africa. It is only fair to believe their formative time in secondary school played a part in their output towards life. Grace likes to conform like most day school students. Abigail on the other hand, is the boarding school nightmare all parents hope not to experience: the deviant.

Through the 1st years we dated, Abigail was in secondary school and was never in the picture. For some odd or strange reason, Grace was not ready to fully commit. Not that I blame her or something. At 23, Most girls her age are like Alice in wonderland; they crush on celebrities and Chase childhood dreams and fantasies. The vile ones, if truth be told...tend to live out their hoė phase. At 28, I was already grounded to know what I wanted and it was Grace and marriage. Sometimes, you do all you can do but then life has a way of throwing in a curveball. More over, "No be say because I wan chop egg I go begin dey worship chicken." Sensing her shakara, I pulled the hand brakes on us and walked out of the relationship.

***2 years later***
Fortunately or unfortunately after letting go, Grace became incensed and started to want me back. I hardly do any social media at this point. Pride won't let her call me, so there was no way to send coded messages on whatsapp status to me. Being the introvert that she is and the all trusting graceful Grace, she started to send Abigil over to my place to bridge the gap. In just over two years, Abigail had changed and developed into a sexy hippie bohemian. Not that I fancy her in any erotic way or something. It's just that in our contemporary naija society where mostly everyone conforms, it is hard not to notice a bohemian.

Knowing I would do no better than Grace even with a million dollars and in a hundred years of searching, I mended fences with Grace and our relationship became stronger than ever. Over time, Abigail became a bridge between us. At first, Grace would send her over to run errands for her. After a while, it became a second nature for her to come over and fidget with my electronics. Courtesy demands you be nice to your in-laws to be and so I was nice to Abigail.

Abigail's posturing over time made it difficult for me to say no to her especially during them Nengi and Laycon days in the house. She was a fan of big brother lockdown. And would always ask for my keys to watch the silly show for she was equally as silly to be gushing over that vanity fair. Grace seems not have any issues with her coming over and I also did not for I was hardly home and God knows the sub was kinda wasting away.

There are some things in life that are not planned. They just happen! My boss at work then tested positive for Covid and we were all asked to quarantine at home. Grace still had to go to work while Abigail was always free because of the ASSU strike. Suddenly, I started to be alone with Abigail. She would come over "for big brother" around 9am and leave around 7pm in time to beat her curfew at home. It was awkward staying all day with Abigail. Grace too predictable, only comes over on Sunday. For some strange reasons, on Sundays, Abigail will never show up.

There were times, and I am sure it could just be my imagination, that she enjoyed teasing me. She would come dressed like a sister Mary Amaka from home but after a while, she would take her bath and transform into a Kardashian. Wearing skimpy cloths and heavy make-up. I tried to give her her space. I was in quarantine and therefore, had practically no where to go. I am basically the type that don't flock with co-workers and I hardly keep any friends except for Grace. I am not one to be neighbourly with my neighbours so I was stuck with Abigail all day. Humans are social animals and we tend to gravitate towards each other especially when we are alone with someone. Gradually, she won me over and I started to watch the big brother show with her. While she was rooting for Nengi after her Erica left, I was simply for Neo for he had my height. And the bond between us grew. God knows I had no vile motives and evil intentions. It is hard not to enjoy Abigail's company for she is a smart, gleeful and witty girl. While I do all the talking with Grace, Abigail on the other hand does all the talking with me and it was a welcome change.

*** D Day ***
It became obvious Abigail was not telling the truth at home. She would pick their calls and tell them she was in her female friend's house. And in the spirit of our new found big brother bond. We kept the secret. On this faithful day, it had rained all day and Nepa had struck and the plug in my generator was no good. The rain had brought with it a cool breeze and some magical thunder. Seemingly, we could not watch our show so I took a blanket because of the cold and buried my attention on my PC (laptop) re-watching season 5 of the game of thrones.

Naively, Abigail joined me and entered the blanket with me. I use the word 'naive' because I honestly do not want to qualify her as a minx. And I know she does not see me as a Justine Bieber of a crystal ball for her to be drooling at. While in that warm blanket watching the movies in such compromising position, One thing led to another and alot of that one thing opened up her Pandora's box and I... I ate the most forbidden fruit there ever was. There is no telling how wonderful making love to her was at the heat of the moment and there's no shame in the world that equates to the shame that immediately dwell and still dwells in my soul shortly after even to this day. There's a lot to blame our mistake and betrayal on. Could it just be the moment? the weather? the chemistry? the devil? (laughs) my opportunistic habit? Her feminine warmth in such close proximity? my placing a hand on her thigh and meeting no resistance? My foggy mind and grown erection? Her racing and panting heart? Her feisty zeal and deviant nature? My libido? Hers? My morals? Buhari? Herdsmen? IPOB? Sunday Igbahor? Dstv and big brother? NEPA? Game of thrones? Was she after all really a minx? In all fairness, she is just a little naive girl that does not deserve to be pilloried for my betrayal. As the adult, I should have known better and acted a lot better.

Climbing down from our lustful climax, we both knew immediately what we had done, the gravity and the implications it could have on not just us, but grace and the whole family. In the most contrite way possible, we apologized to ourselves and vowed never to repeat it again. We felt it would be better not to tell Grace or anyone and we agreed Abigail would stop coming over. I started to avoid Abigail at all cost. I did not just release cum after my despicable act with Abigail, I released every thing good in me and every form of happiness. I felt much less of a man and wished I had died as a child or better still was aborted.

I hardly could face Grace after. The more I try to ghost her, the more she held on tightly. It became awkward visiting their family house for I was not comfortable around them trusting and accepting me. Not for the fear that they would find out...just my conscience eating me up. I stayed away and made peace with my gross mistake. For over six to seven months. I did my penance and nothing happened with Abigail. I know I am in a better place now to make sane decisions about cheating. To give something back to Grace, I have vowed never to sleep with anyone till die. We know how cheating amongst married men is common these days. I no call Adekule Gold name oh!

Me and Grace are set to marry on the 17th of this April. The thing is...Abigail is her chief bridesmaid and preparation demands I see her most times. She still has a look in her eyes...dunno what to make of it. A look of blackmail? Of you could still hit it if you want? We have unfinished business kinda look? You should be paying a bride price for two look? I die inside every time I see Grace happy she again got us back to talking terms because of the wedding. Ignorance is truly bliss.

I have doubts going through with this wedding. Folks may laugh and say I chickened out because of the inflation and money, others might blame Grace. It may ruin Grace for ever. How do I do this knowing Abigail will always be family?

I hope this is just a good writer trying to hit the bookstand as soon as possible. You write well, no doubt. I'm simply saying, this shouldn't be true.

Well, if it is not a nice attempt at fiction writing, this is bad, dangerous, and pain lying in ambush for you in not too distant future.

It happens to all mortals, when you pray that the trap you opened your wide eyes and run into.

Have you ever heard the phrase, FLEE FORNICATION ? This is the reason. We don't have the capacity to embrace fire and not get burnt.

Okay, enough of my preaching. What do you do now?

If you are indeed a man, and faithful like you made to believe here, within one week, you would have killed that snake that is about to swallow you up like Anaconda by arranging for a joint conference of three among the two sisters and your self. Break the ice on everyone's head right there, and let the worse happen.

You would've saved yourself from the current harrowing experience that may last a lifetime if you're not careful.

For me it is too late in the day to call such conference now. You may have to wait till after the wedding. You need a strong man as a referee in the fight that may break out after breaking the ice though.

You'll be lucky if Grace decide to live to her name by acting gracefully upon hearing the foolish behavior of yours. The next battle you may not be able to stop or prevent is between Grace and Abigail.

You may want to wait for my next post on how to handle that championship of a fight. Did you hear of RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE ?

Contact this lawyer fast in Abeokuta. I don't want his name written here. If you want to save that house or get handsomely compensated, you need a lawyer who has worked in the civil service of the state. Send WhatsApp via my signature below, and I'll send you his number.

Delay can be dangerous.

blesskewe:
she isn't considerate..................



ur cup of tea sha

Tell your wife how much you're earning.

Why give money to your mom monthly? Is your dad late? If you're not careful, you'll soon have high blood pressure.

Move out of that house first and fast.

How can you marry your wife into a family house. That's a recipe for disaster.

Taking care of triplets is huge. Your wife is also under pressure. Who's helping her with the caring for the babies.

Look for accommodation not too far from your job place.

Ask your wife how to share the 55k monthly. Tell her your opinion when she's through.

In addition to the salary, think of additional income.

Survival in Nigeria now is killing.

You'll both survive, but leave your family house fast.

My daughter says you should go to YouTube for explanation. She said only books won't help much.

Which other things took your attention during the strike.

FortifiedCity:
When Sunday Ighogho became popular since this fulani ish, then I discovered how much lots of Yoruba people needed a saviour and a daring fighter, someone to stand up for them and confront the common enemy. They literally cried for help.

Yet some of them will hide under cowardice and be lambasting Nnamdi Kanu but secretly wished they had him

Lol!

I like Nnamdi Kanu. You'll the Igbos are very bold stock.

Sunday Igboho go hide for Ibadan when Nnamdi Kanu is sharing fence with buhari for Aso Rock.

If I hear from from Yoruba people here!

Lion heart Igbo na in dey here.

StagethemTVee:
How did Nigeria become so divided? I thought though tribes and tongues may differ, in brotherhood we were supposed to stand?

Where you dey since?

Please can anyone here help me with the prices of these accessories for aluminum windows.

1. Bead/length
2. Rubber/length
3. Glass/sheet.

Thanks.

blissbliss:

Fuel consumption is higher.

If you want a four(4) cylinder, rather do a 2010/11 model.

Else, a v6 of 2008/09 would suffice.

What will you recommend between Sienna's 2014 and LX470 2014?

Daytonbale:
Help your guy please I slept with a girl on the 2nd December 2020 , she came to my house this evening and told me that she is pregnant .

please house is it possible ?

is not even up to one month

She's dumping that pregnancy on you. Check Google for more information on how soon a lady can get pregnant after sex.

Rebekah029:
You didn't create yourself ! just learn to live with it..... I was always shy when I was younger.. but now I don't give a damn ...

Life is interesting, a guy somewhere is praying to find your shape and size. Congratulations for your victory in liking yourself the way you are.

Twenty8:
Whenever I see a girl that catches my attention, and I want to talk to her, I suddenly freeze, I don't know what to say to her, I simply have no idea. I need help from people with experience please, any idea or tricks will do.

Why do you want to talk to ladies in the first instance?

If your intention is to get a lady to sleep with then you need a heavy strategy.

However if you want to make friends, what's the big deal about talking and making friends.

Nobody freezes when your intention is friendship.

So, check your motive first.

Even if your drive is a lady to sleep with, no problem, except you're looking for harlots, the steps are make friends, begin a relationship, marry the lady and you're free and legal to sleep with her ten times a day if both of you can stand it.

Men, young ones particularly with their funny brain. Anyway, I've been in their shoes before, so learn and live a good life.

Zeal0000007:
Pals I'm really fade up on my woman, next year supposed to be our marriage introduction, we've been together for 5years now. I engaged her last 3month ego. over two years now I've been struggling so hard to have sex with her she barely allowed me touch her. she gives allot of excuses during sex, she almost like write down the number of times we have sex in a week. should we have time table for sex?

I can't have access to her body when I want to, and we're staying together, I'm not a wood. It's always one excuse or the other just to avoid sex, she's really frustrating me, and this is someone I want to get married to in months, and I don't want to Cheat on her either because I love her and want the best for us. we're having issues like this now that we are not married what about when we are married. l'm thinking of quitting. she's 22 while I'm 29, she love sex before ,even more than I do, l'm just surprised at this development for the past 2year now, why is it different now, women do all they can to keep their men to themselves, why is mine pushing me away, from my observation there's no one or anything distracting her, she just being wicked to me and stubborn, pals I don't know if there's another option, I wanted to quit or give her a competition by bringing in another woman if that will make her sit up, I'm just fade up.

Sometimes you read interesting stories here.

All I can say is that you've put your marital life on gear 4 approaching a valley, who will deliver you?

It's almost impossible advising people like you, who must test and taste what will eventually be yours while it's still on the way. Poor you!

Continue with your sex before marriage philosophy, it's useless advising you against it, you'll never understand what you're missing, even right now that you're not married.

Sex makes no meaning to ladies if all you want is their body and not their heart, you can't understand that statement.

That lady has lost all the excitement in sex and what you are doing is just wasting your sperm.

It is very clear like most ladies in the shoe of that lady that she'll look for another man even when she's in your house. You've destroyed her love for sex with your ignorance.

For you, after 3yrs of marriage, you'll look for new lady to explore again. You've almost ruined your sex life without knowing. Unfortunately, you can't stop except you get help. The only person that can help you is the oga of all spirits which is the Holy Spirit.

Without knowing Jesus, forget it you can't get the Holy Spirit.

It is the Holy Spirit that can reprogram you back to factory settings.

I pray you take this path back to sexual enjoyment in marriage.

However, the choice is always yours.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

The fault isn't entirely hers, but those who trained her.

Thank God she opened up to you. While I'm not going to demand anything from a lady I'm married to, simple sense of love and care should help her brain to know how to appreciate someone who's ready to take upon his responsibility for the family.

I shouldn't waste my time advising you. Marry her if you want, for me, it's bye for good.

Ochason:
A friend needs your advise.
My wife and I are having issues for over six months now. We live in the same house but she does not sleep with me or barely speak with me. And that is because she found out my indiscretion in March. I have been married for four years now. We were both virgins when we married. So, she is my first and I hers. Along the line, I got tired of having s*x the missionary style and wanted to try new things to spice up our life.
That was when my wife shocked me and refused to try other s*x styles like doggy or oral s*x. I was very disappointed but I love my wife, so I did not bother her. She say doggy style is painful for her and oral is against her beliefs. But,as a man, I desire these kind of exciting ways of making love and I watch films and I really get aroused seeing other people do it. One day, I gave two ladies from my office lift after work. I noticed one of them was trying to be close to me…I used to give both of them lift.
Then, one day, only one of them waited for me cos she could not find transport. We closed late that day and on the way, we got talking and it was getting interesting. I asked her if she was in a relationship, she said she just broke up with her guy. She wanted to know why I asked her and I said nothing just curios. However, she went further to say that she likes me and she wish I was not married. I smiled but then she also went ahead and said she miss her s*x with her boyfriend. All these, I know she was telling me because she wanted me. I told her lets hangout. She agreed. I took her to a hotel, paid the bill. That night …it was wild. All the imaginations I had wanted with my wife..I had with her…she was wild and gave me all the styles. For the first time,I felt I made a mistake marrying my wife.
That was how my affair with this lady started…until my wife noticed I was not bothering her again for s*x. She checked my phone and saw messages between me and this lady. She went crazy but I told her she pushed me to it. That her refusing doggy or oral pushed me to cheat. This almost broke us up but after much counselling, we agreed to work things out. My wife agreed for the doggy but not oral. She maintained its still a sin. Even the doggy,she just make me loose interest cos she will be behaving uncomfortable…not enjoying it.
I decided not to bother her again. When she noticed I am quiet… she will start making trouble…saying I am selfish and all I want is s*x and I don’t care what she feels. I don’t know what is so strange about a man wanting doggy or oral from his wife.
This is one reason a lot of men cheat on their wives. Side chicks are ready to give what the married ones don’t want to give. I feel so bad but since the situation is not getting better, I been thinking maybe its time to end the marriage.

There’s nothing I have not tried. I gave her books to reach, videos to watch…even paid for an online coaching class for her to watch but she still maintain her stance. I really do not want to divorce…I cannot bear to see my children go through this but if you were in my shoes, what will you do?
This has drawn me and that lady close. I am getting tempted to continue the affair with her…I really do not wish to…but my wife is being inconsiderate and I really feel she does not care about me as much as I care about her.

Please advise me…its almost end of year…I cannot continue in a marriage where we hardly speak to each other or enjoy s*x with each other…if she cannot compromise…I will continue cheating cos divorce is not an option…

What else can he do?

The problem with most marriages is poor understanding of what life is.

Both men and women. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed 100%, in every way.

Sex is too good to be missed by anyone. Women that avoid sex, it is caused by ignorant men.

Did you hear yourself in that post of yours?

Your wife said, you don't care how she feels! What other information are you waiting for? She has told you everything you need to know to pass your exams!

On serious note, sex to ladies is a world apart from that of men.

We used to think as men that we fantasize more than women, a big lie!

Before you hit the bed, women have done two rounds of sex in their minds if you know how to do the right thing. However men, 97% of men are mugus when it comes to sex.

We think sex is gragra business. Poor souls.

When you get down to find out what is happening to your wife, and genuinely ready to give a tiny attention, not even so much o, your wife is already getting wet for you to return safely home for the night shift.

Just make sure you're not too tired to play your role.

Ask ladies, it's not too difficult to get regular sex from a wife, though a little bit different from other women, and I'm not a supporter of sleeping with anyone who's not your wife.

Swallow your pride and have a little heart to heart gist with your wife and she'll tell you how the two of you will begin to enjoy the thing like pepper soup.

Misslilbootay:
I am not a virgin because the guy I dated before made it seem like sex was the only thing that could keep him.
Unfortunately, that is another story of its own.


Recently, a friend of mine came and asked me if sex was necessary to keep a relationship. She told me the guy has given her everything she needed in a man but he couldn't stop asking for sex. She said that she wasn't ready to compromise her faith that premarital sex was a sin but she didn't want to lose this guy as he felt that her refusal to have sex with him meant she didn't love him.

The question I'm throwing now is
1. Can a man stay without sex in a relationship and wait till she is ready. (As in this case, she wants to wait till she is married)
2. Why is sex so important to men in a relationship? Do they see it as reciprocating of love especially when they spend heavily on the lady?
3. Also, most men wants a decent lady. Here is a lady who wants to keep herself for her husband but the boyfriend sees it as she manipulating him. Since you guys want a lady that isn't a borehole, why do you demand for sex when you are not sure if it will work out?

Your intelligent opinions will be appreciated.

Whether you'll keep your decision to get married before engaging in further sexual relationship will depend on your understanding of the reasons for that decision.

If you don't have understanding of it, you'll soon cave in to the pressure.

It's clear that your man has no such understanding, that's why he's calling it manipulation.

So, please sit down with the scriptures and find the reasons for that instructions. Let it not be somebody's opinion is what you're following. Be convinced about it.

God asked the believers to keep their chastity till the wedding night at least.

You don't begin to steal what's going to be yours at the end of the day.

Sex is good but allowed only within the boundary of marriage or else the whole world will be full of bastards, not knowing who's pregnancy a woman is carrying after sleeping around. God isn't interested in fathering bastards. So, God gave boundaries.

If sex is what will prove to that guy you love him, you're about to enter one chance bus. There are other ladies that will give him better sex than you, so don't fall for it.

For most men, due to our libido, sex is a great appeal to us. But undefined sex will soon tire the guy. Sex is like an icings on a cake. What you bake and eat is the cake, icing is only to make it sweeter.

Marriage is the cake, sex is the icing. You can have marriage without sex, but the beauty of a cake that has icing is that, with little of it you're excited. Without icing however, you can finish a whole baked cake before you know it. The result of that is that you may soon get bored. At the same time, you can't be eating the icing alone, you'll soon have running stomach if not pile/diabetes, because icing is nothing but sugar.

Having given you all these analogies, you should know what to do. Let the guy go and you avoid the future agony awaiting you. Let me also warn you that when you eventually get married, satisfy your husband with sex, not just in quantity but quality. Sex isn't just skin to skin, it involves more than just intercourse, so go learn how to make sweet sex happen.

Most ladies feel men don't know anything, just open your legs and let him pour it in there. He'll soon begin to look for different places to pour it into. But quality sex will make your man stayed glued to you. Same goes for men too. Give your wife quality sex, and it will be forever together. Quality sex is scarce.

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

You will be shocked with the advice I'm going to give you. You'll need a strong heart to follow it.

The strong heart can only come from the spirit of God. When you accept the gift of God's love and become repentant of your old life, not just because of what you did, but because you're born of a woman like everyone on this forum and elsewhere. Without you accepting that love of God in the gift of Jesus for humanity, your life and that of every human being will be miserable.

Now, coming back to your story, you'll discover that while this step I mentioned above is being carried out the heavens will be working things for you.

The spirit of God will tell you when to sit your husband down and explain everything to him. First, you'll note that the fear of loosing your marriage will no longer terrorize you. Even if the option of being deported back to Nigeria is staring you in the face, you won't be scared. Life doesn't end with living with a man, you can live alone and have peace with God.

Prepare for the worst and thereafter open up to your husband, and leave him to decide. As a matter of fact, you should be ready to leave that marriage because you disappointed the man. Meanwhile, don't be surprised to discover that your husband may also have a story to confess to you. Tell him that he has a choice between retaining you or ending the marriage. Be ready to accept anything. When you give your life to Jesus, nothing bothers you any longer.

What's the essence of life of perpetual fear? You're excited that you're living in the abroad abi, like ignorant Nigerians will say?

Tell the truth and be alive. You're currently in the grave. Shame the devil with the truth and come alive.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

I feel like dropping some lines of advice for you, but a bit sleepy now.

From your story, your idea of a great sex is all about penetration of the organs like most men think.

Most men think the way you do. Reason for most sexual frustrations in marriages.

The starting point for great sexual experience is the holding of hands during the day when there's no sex on the agenda. Next is looking into her eyes, all the home chores you've been doing but painfully, they may not be her love languages. Find out her love languages, touching, words of affirmation, helping hands, buying of gifts etc. Some speak all of these languages, some one or two.

Sex doesn't make sense with a lady who is not asking you to make love to her. And how do you make a lady beg you for it? By those things I mentioned above.

That wife of yours will like to gist and talk and you are direct opposite of her from the way you spoke.

Forget about thrusting matter now and get to know your wife. Even lower animals love all those pre-sex fantasies, that most women want. Start practicing it, before you know it, you'll begin to run from too much sex.

blissbliss:

Is this meant to be an outright gift?

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DebbieBianca:
Popular Nollywood comic actor John Ikechukwu Okafor popularly known as Mr Ibu during the weekend celebrated his 60th birthday with friends and family. The birthday celebration was held at villa Toscana on Sunday November 15, 2020.

See Pictures from the birthday celebration below:

This stomach is too big na! You shouldn't take this as a comedy, all lovers of Mr Ibu should tell him this.

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Akinbahm:


In all honesty bro at the emboldened which one will you go for the former or the latter?

This may not go nice with others but the choice who to marry is not about those factors, rather it is whom God says I should marry based on whether she's born again or not.

Anyone who is born again is a new creature, he/she no longer carries the old nature, but a new one. When you're a new creature your past is your past.

Mind you, I'm not talking about those who just go to mark register in church in the name of a Christian! I'm talking of those with encounters with Jesus.

When you've met Jesus, you'll understand.

It is never this or that!

You can have both: Virgin with Character, Deflowered with Character

Being Deflowered doesn't bring your life to an end! You can always begin again.

A lot of marriages based purely on just virginity are all over the place crashing due to the ignorance of the importance of character!