₦airaland Forum

UYEMDO35:
Why does my stepmother keep ruining my life, manipulating the people around me, and keep doing things that hurt me and my siblings?
Life has been so unbearable ever since she came into our house.....
She constantly seek to destroy the good relationship that I have with my father and When she notice that am not around she start condemning me infront of my father and pretend to be nice when she sees me.
And dis woman already have 2 children that are upto my age but she doesn't talk much about dem but instead prefer to gossip us to my father..... My father on d other side is not even responsible as a man but instead prefer to sit with her and download all our past life to her in which she now later use it against I and my siblings.
My experience with dis so call people call family wasn't a child's play. They made my life look miserable for me
after graduating from school so i decided to come home to stay with dem pending till when my results will be out but instead dis people use my eyes see shege. My unknown step mother wan suffer me with food and I nearly die of hunger.
I just couldn't tolerate their attitude anymore so I decided to purchase Army form when it came out online.
And God saw me through the screening process and I made it to the final list in which we will be going for training soon.

Once everything goes well for me I intent to ghost dem cuz dis was never my plan to join the military.

I wanted to yap you before seeing the conclusion of your story.

Thank God that you've gotten a plan in the pipeline.

Your family situation is the norm; anything better than your story anywhere is an exception.

You'll soon understand what it means to come in between a man and his wife. Bedmatics doesn't know "my children" o.

Most women are dumbs, thinking that they're smart. What will she gain by putting a wedge between a man and his children? It's simply just stupidity and dull brain of the woman in question.

For you, be patient and encourage your siblings to be patient too.

Very soon, you'll all be out of that house. While you're still there with your father, maintain a cool headedness. She will soon regret her retched life.

As soon as you are out of NDA now, get a house for you and all your siblings and move on.

All the best.

Obnoxious2001:
Without much epistle, So I sent a wrong account no.,a correct Bank name and account name to a friend who I was expecting some funds from.

No he copied the acct no. And sent the money (to another person, the wrong acct. No. I provided)....

Now we had a discussion which lead to analysing the situation and I told him we both have blames on this transaction, but he doesn't want to acknowledge his fault.

Now the main question is
If you sent money to a wrong bank acct, who is to blame

You're both wrong.

He's more dumb.

How can you copy only account number without confirming with the beneficiary number?

Useless bank too. How can you process payment without the combination of both the account numbers and account name?

general111:
Hello good people of Nairaland.
My fiancée to me today that her ex is requesting to meet her,and she was asking for my permission to go.
Should I grant her this request or should I be worried?

Who's a fiance?

You don't have one yet.

That lady you're referring to is just around you to sample you out; sexually and financially.

And do you know her assessment of you?

You didn't measure up.

You're no man, she even have the guts to ask for your permission!

You guys of nowadays are just dumbs.

galileo180:
Your honest and sincere opinions are highly needed on this.

My brother is about to get married on Sunday and just today, the girlfriend has been threatening to call off the marriage over a little issue. The issue being my brothers' refusal to travel back to our village with her since he needs to be at work on Tuesday, his reason being that there is no movement on Mondays and he is a Banker and needs to be present to open Vault on Tuesday.

Please in your sincere opinion, is my brother wrong and is it a good reason for the girl to threaten him with calling off the event.

Mods please help a brother, please push to front-page as it needs urgent attention.

Your brother na gold digger that why she's threatening him.

He hasn't married a woman and he's already receiving threats.

Your brother is not serious.

NdubisiCharles:
Good day pals, I have a sister whose husband abandoned for the past 8 yrs now,
with kids, male and female, the boy is now 9yrs, while the girl is now 8 yrs, my sis was abandoned after giving birth to the little girl.
She single handedly took the children far away and keep raising them up till date, now this is happening.

Yesterday, I received a call from my young sis, saying that her forgotten husband just called and was pleading for her return, that what will she do, that she needs my advice as senior, for me not to fall into conclusion I gave her 48 hours to reply to her, .....

Today I called the man (husband) he sounds so calm, "he said he need them back, he told me that he never chase my sis away, that it was my sis that carry her bag and left his house. Ran away with the 2kids, that he paid my sis bride price, he has visited my family for reconciliation but sis said she ain't going back that hunger is in the house, he admitted that then he was broke, "that he is not a drunker, womanizer, fetish, or never lay hand on my sis, and that he is God fearing man" only that he has no money when asked my sis she confirmed it.

Please friends advice me on what to do

You don't give advice in the circumstance except you are equipped with the skill to read people. You need to invite the husband to your place with his wife and let him repeat what he's requesting from the wife.

While he's talking you can make a good assessment of his genuine intentions or otherwise.

The following should be a guide to assess his readiness for a new start. It's never too late to restart:

1. Does he have a job or earning any income now?

2. Does he have accommodation for the family now?

3. What new thing has he learnt about marriage in the last 8yrs.

4. Ask your sister what made her to pack out the last time.

5. What's the assurance that she is going to stay now irrespective of the condition in the family.

6. Is she ready to assist her husband this time around with her own resources without insulting him in case things are not going smoothly.

By the time you are done with these questions you should be able to say go back or stay where you are.

Creating a safe and stimulating environment for your baby is crucial for their growth and development. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:

Safety:

1. Baby-Proofing: Childproof your home by securing cabinets, electrical outlets, and sharp corners. Install safety gates at staircases and keep small objects out of reach.

2. Crib Safety: Ensure the crib meets safety standards. Use a firm mattress with a fitted sheet. Remove pillows, stuffed animals, and blankets from the crib to reduce the risk of suffocation.

3. Supervision: Always supervise your baby, especially when they are on a changing table, bed, or any elevated surface.

4. Secure Furniture: Anchor heavy furniture to the wall to prevent tip-overs. This includes bookshelves, dressers, and TV stands.

5. Safe Toys: Choose age-appropriate toys that do not have small parts that can be a choking hazard. Regularly inspect toys for wear and tear.

6. Baby Gates: Use baby gates to keep your baby out of areas that haven't been childproofed.

7. Burn Prevention: Keep hot beverages and foods out of reach, and use stove knob covers to prevent burns. Set the water heater temperature to prevent scalds.

8. Safeguarding Bath Time: Never leave your baby unattended during bath time. Make sure the water temperature is comfortable and test it with your elbow to avoid scalding.

Stimulation:

1. Tummy Time: Encourage tummy time to help your baby develop neck and upper body strength. Place colorful toys within their reach to make it engaging.

2. Visual Stimulation: Hang mobiles or colorful pictures near the crib. Babies are drawn to high-contrast images.

3. Talk to Your Baby: Babies love to hear your voice. Talk, sing, and read to them regularly. This helps with language development.

4. Play and Interaction: Engage in interactive play, like peek-a-boo, and provide toys that encourage sensory exploration, such as soft toys and rattles.

5. Rotate Toys: Introduce new toys and rotate them regularly to keep your baby engaged and curious.

6. Explore Outdoors: When your baby is old enough, take them for walks or to a safe, outdoor play area to introduce them to new sights and sounds.

7. Music and Lullabie[/i]s: Play soothing music or lullabies to create a calming environment and encourage auditory development.

8. [i]Stimulating Environment: Make the nursery a stimulating place with colorful decorations and soft, comfortable items.

9. Routine and Consistency: Establish a daily routine. Babies thrive on predictability, and a consistent schedule can create a sense of security.

10. Physical Interaction: Cuddle, hold, and carry your baby. Physical touch is vital for bonding and emotional development.

Remember that each baby is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Pay attention to your baby's cues and adjust the environment and activities accordingly. A safe and stimulating environment will provide a strong foundation for your baby's development and well-being.

Certainly, here are some breastfeeding basics, tips, and techniques for new moms:


Breastfeeding Benefits:
Breast milk is the best source of nutrition for your newborn. It provides essential nutrients and antibodies that protect your baby from infections and diseases. Breastfeeding also promotes bonding between you and your baby.

Get Comfortable:
- Find a quiet and comfortable spot to breastfeed. Support your back with pillows, and use a footstool to raise your feet if needed. A relaxed posture is crucial.

Proper Latch:
- To ensure a good latch, make sure your baby's mouth covers as much of the areola (the dark area around the nipple) as possible. This helps your baby get a good amount of milk and prevents nipple pain.

Frequent Feeding:
- Newborns feed frequently, about 8 to 12 times a day. Follow your baby's hunger cues, like rooting, sucking, or hand-to-mouth movements.

Breastfeeding Positions:
- Experiment with various positions, such as the cradle hold, football hold, or side-lying position, to find what's most comfortable for you and your baby.

Empty One Breast Before Switching:
- Allow your baby to empty one breast before offering the other. This ensures that your baby gets both foremilk (watery and thirst-quenching) and hindmilk (rich in fats).

Watch for Swallowing:
- Listen for the sound of swallowing, which indicates that your baby is getting milk. You should also notice your baby's jaw moving.

Stay Hydrated and Eat Well:
- Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, and maintain a healthy diet with a variety of nutrients. What you eat can affect the quality of your breast milk.

Nipple Care:
- Keep an eye on your nipples. If they become sore or cracked, use lanolin cream or breast shields for relief.

Seek Support:
- If you're experiencing challenges with breastfeeding, don't hesitate to seek help from a lactation consultant or a healthcare provider. They can offer guidance and support.

Pumping and Storing Milk:
- If you plan to pump and store breast milk, invest in a good-quality breast pump. Follow safe storage guidelines for expressed milk.

Nighttime Feedings:
- Be prepared for nighttime feedings. Keep a dim light in the room and use a comfortable chair. It's a good idea to have a water bottle and snacks nearby.

Stay Patient and Persistent:
- Breastfeeding can be a learning process for both you and your baby. It's okay to ask for help and be patient with yourself.

Remember, every breastfeeding journey is unique, and it's okay to adapt techniques and strategies that work best for you and your baby. Breastfeeding can be a beautiful and rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging. Seek the support you need and trust your instincts as a new mom.

Many wonder why women get on the edge after having a new baby, particularly their first child.

If you're a parent, you'll agree with me that it's not a teaparty to become a mother as sweet as that can be.

Now, being a parent too, I have ideas to share that can be a great help to a young family with a new baby, particularly the mothers.

The job of parenting is one for two people, but we all know that mothers are the direct workmen in this. So these information should help mothers appreciably.

In the next couple of days, mothers can check out here for fresh ideas, products that can make this journey quite enjoyable.

greggng:
My point is centred on the fact that the first judgement from the tribunal was bought .

What's your evidence that this one is not bought?

SpecialAdviser:
Nnamdi Kanu is different from this guy. MNK is a genuine freedom fighter unlike this political noise maker. If Nnamdi Kanu has jettison his idea of BIAFRA since, he would have regained freedom.

MNK would prefer to die in prison than abaddon BIAFRAN agitation. Nnamdi Kanu is the Mandela of our time. Fact

You got it right!

The Mandela of our time.

27years in prison loading!

By the time he leaves the prison, he'll be the same age Mandela too left the prison.

MNK the greatest.

DesChyko:
Great song! I used to own a Phil Collins Gold Collections. I lost it while renovations was ongoing in my homeland. 🥲

Look for it on YouTube.

Matrix137:
As a Christian, a bride is officially yours to wife after paying the bride price to the parents and there is an agreement with both of you and the respective families. Wedding or not isn't compulsory (traditional or White). That's the biblical instructions. Thanks


Someone pls help me with any amount for foodstuffs please. I'm Soo hungry and no work coming

07 25 00 93 40 access bank. God bless

From the comments you made here about what constitute a marriage, you're more than qualified to be a content producer on the social media, that can earn you good amount of money regularly. Rather than be begging for food money, go learn how to monetize this knowledge that you have.

No excuse of not knowing where to learn that. That phone in your hands and internet connection, there are so many sites that can teach you how to start a business with little or no money at all.

Check out an app called Shopify and learn how to make money with it.

All the best.

Mille:
I came across this post on Reddit and it's triggering.

Anyone in the woman's shoe can say all manner of things.
Surely you didn't handle it well. You allowed the latest news from the diagnosis to take the better of you. It's very natural.

Unfortunately for you, you're asking for help too late. This is what you should have done the moment the news came.

Your husband will be highly frustrated knowing that the weakness is from you. What he was asking for is exactly what you might have demanded for too if he's the source of your inability to conceive.

Sorry, you broke down on hearing the news. You ought to have played the game of selflessness by asking him those offers he gave you. The truth is that you're selfish.

Having gotten to this low point, your next move is to calm down and see what he's going to do next, thereafter make your move. The worst scenario is to divorce and both of you move on.

You can still have a baby depending on your age now. Even at that, there's still life to live. A new partner is still ahead of you. Only drop your selfish attitude. Live for others and you'll be shocked how this life can be a field of fun.

You're not here just to have babies, but to touch lives. Real life begins from there.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

keep enjoying his moody attitude sister now. Why are you complaining now?

Biglol008:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, pls I need your advice. I’m married 28 years, no children yet. Newly wedded, I have a problem. I don’t last long on bed. I cum very quickly and it takes a long time like 4 hours for me to get another erection and most times it’s not very hard like my first erection.

I was told the nitric oxide in my body is low. Pls I need help. How do I boost my nitric oxide in my body or if there are any supplements let me buy.

I’m afraid if I don’t do anything now my wife might eventually cheat in the future. I no longer have my morning erection like some guys do. I have exercise, did ginger, garlic, bitter Kola nothing seems to be working.

What can I do to remedy my situation. Pls no talk of hospital health wise I’m very okay. No diabetics or anything no infection pls help me so I can save my marriage and my myself.

Be sure say you no get any infection o!

Kingibiza:
Saw this on Facebook and it really got me, masturbation has really destroyed a lot of people



https://www.facebook.com/100081915090915/posts/pfbid0TEseqPX5ef8o4vvKHEyLm9Jb84qaecFGKL4MU45jrK7EHB2Km5EcfXGiWR8qxNAMl/

Many a times wives drive their men to resume their masturbation.

You're surprised that you had to beg him for sex most of the time, if another person should ask your hubby why should his wife beg for sex, the response will be a surprise.

There has always been this lie out there about genders drive for sex; men can have sex in 30 seconds, whereas it will take a whole day to prime a woman for sex. This is the lie that has been destroying the sex and other areas of lives of couples in recent times. Men too have moods, not only women.

Those moments when a husband will be looking for cuddling from the wife and all you get is, pls leave me alone because of one thing or the other, no matter how genuine the woman's complaints may be, You need to realize that this is what causes what you're talking about now.

Just sit the man down and talk things over, and not that grandstanding of "I'm disappointed in my husband" that you're speaking all about.

Let me tell you, it's not going to be an overnight solution, because the guy has found solution to relieve himself when you PROBABLY are not there.

All of what I said may not be applicable to you, but please come down from this high horse of "I'm disappointed".

Shokoloko:
My condolences.
You do not need to wait to sit her down.
Get an autopsy done asap. Your questions will be answered.
If you want to wait 40 days to find out what killed your brother you are being crafty.

You forgot to tell the man to just marry the woman, chikena!

Rokiat:
This is a great topic with many layers to it.


The problem is that many women lead with their achievements. They achieved and believe oh well
I’m a high achiever I don’t gotta clean for no man I don’t gotta cook for no man infact I don’t need a man. That’s the issue right there.

I have said it before and I will say it here again, men don’t give a damn about a woman’s achievements. Maybe your home girls will clap for you but this is not all a man is looking for. An uneducated woman who’s broke and never been to college don’t work but can cook, have good nurturing skills, a good mother, fine as hell, good in bed, will always get the better man than a woman who’s hella accomplished and is totally out of touch with her womanly side and roles.

Fun fact as you are off to work, he’s fu..cking that unemployed woman that truly makes him feel like a man.



Also many of these women achieved and start shouting it at the top of their lungs, a big turn off to many men. A man’s would love you to leave space for him to come in and be a man, provide for you, get you that car that house for the family etc but if you buy yourself all
Of these things and claiming to be an independent strong woman that has everything and the only thing you need is a man well my sister you will stay long waiting for that man.

The truth is bitter, but a successful man is treated like a big baller in society but you as a successful woman well sorry but many men don’t care. And the issue is that many successfully women wants the accolades, the praises, special treatment and to be exempt from their womanly duties simply because they are successful in society. It’s just as bad as men wanting special treatment and better positions because they look good. Lol that’s funny but imagine a man thinking because he looks good so he will get a higher position…rarely ever as in ever. A woman looks yes that matters but a man? Nope not really because that doesn’t impact on his ability to provide or protect. Women have to stop thinking just because they are successful and high achievers they don’t gotta do what a man’s requires of a woman to
Make him feel like a man.


And this is for the women that wants lasting and happy relationships. If you want to be a strong independent woman that don’t need no man kudos to you, do you but you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

If you have this mindset Rokiat, and that picture I saw in your profile, then your babe is living in heaven right here on earth. You rock! Kudos lady.

frozen70:
It depends on what you mean by submission, especially for those who are married to a man who cant provide for his family

She pays the house rent, school fees, hospital bills, other bills and probably feeding

These are the things a man that married her can't do and she is doing it all,

So is she not submissive enough

Or you expect her to work for the money and hand it over to the man

That's what you call submission abi ⁉️

Surely not. That's not the definition of submission. Any man who calls that submission is a cramp, if there's anything called by that name.

Now, the situation you painted actually exists in some occasions. However, what's wrong with such a man that his wife will do all of those things you mentioned and is still calling himself the man of the home?

No sane man will be comfortable getting all of those services from a woman you call your wife! If he is, then he's sick heavy.

Now, a wife could be favoured with all of those good things. A healthy husband should try to leverage on that woman's status by finding out what can I do to maintain my position as your husband!

Even if, your salary monthly may not be more than 200k, and here you have a wife earning 2m per month. Something from that 200k should come as your gift to the babe of your life regularly. Definitely, that salary of the man can't maintain the life of the wife, and a sane woman that earns 2m too is not going to be expecting you to maintain her and the home. All a sane woman will be looking for is just a sense of responsibility from the man. Buy simple things for the kids and the wife and appreciate the efforts of the woman.

That woman will be happy with your 200k and she'll do all of the rest with joy in her heart.

Anyway, remember my adjective for the woman, SANE! It's not everybody that is sane o!

tommy589:
Make she sef dey contribute o
E no easy

It would've been an awkward thing for him to take this new decision after his knowledge that she has kids before marrying her, but I suspect that the lady is taking that man's responsibility towards his step-children as her right from the way she was talking to the husband.

Wisdom has no mate. With wisdom, you can get anything in this life from the most difficult person imaginable.

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

Your case sounds simple but at the same time complex.

Just like some comments before this, religion seems to worrying both of you and you think its Christianity.

Most marriages are suffering from wrong teaching about marriage from Pentecostal churches. I'm a minister in a Pentecostal church. However, I've done enough study to see that most of what is taught isn't scriptural.

For example, a home is meant to be run by the husband, the wife is only a helper. Like the Yorubas will say; "gba ran mi ki di eleru", translated as a helper doesn't become the owner of the luggage.

Her money is her money, your money is our money! The earlier you accept this, the faster your peace will come. You ask me; what is she then to do with her money, the answer is that, it's her discretion.

On the other issues of domestic responsibility, all you need to do is to talk it over with her. If you allow her to work, pls realize that she's also a human being that'll get tired after a day's job.

For she to be pretending to be serving you when you visit your in-laws shows that she knew this is expected of her. Then ask her why she doesn't do that at home.

On sex matter, as long as all of these issues remain unresolved, there's no need for sex. If you have it, it is just masturbation in another way! I know we men can sleep with a lady under 2hrs of knowing her, that's not love making but a quickie. However, in a marriage it doesn't work. Unfortunately, for ladies, sex begins in the mind before hitting the sheets. A man doesn't need to dream of sex before having sex and that's the trouble.

If you want regular sex which is good for both of you, then you need to address this ladies dilemma.

Long story cut short, discuss all of these issues with her. From the look of things you're not romantic like most men.

You don't seem to have the key to her heart yet. Forget all the fight and schedule an outing for both of you and talk it through. From the look of things, both of you don't want divorce, so you can really work things out.

On the finance, she'll spend her money on you if you get these things sorted out.

From my analysis, that wife of yours will like sex if you get these issue sorted out. Break ego on your side and come down from your high horse and enjoy this woman.

Why can't you cook for that woman first? If you can cook, do it once and see how she'll begin to blush.

You don't have a serious problem as you painted it.

NwekeUG:
https://igberetvnews.com/1442433/wedding-21-year-old-couple-goes-viral-photos/

It all depends on their background and growing up experiences.

Twenty one years isn't too young an age to tie the knots. The world has simply gone confused leading to all of these complexities making people scared of getting married.

My mum got married in 1949 at 23, lived with my father till she was 79 while my father went home 3 months ahead of her at 88.

If the maturity is there, why not!

The popular televangelist TL OSBORN married his wife of 19 when he was 21!

He died at 90 while his wife died at 70 in 1995.

We can only wish them all the best of love, perseverance and forgiveness of each other ahead of the occurrences.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

I agree with the very first comment after your post.

Your revulsion is the reality of what you went through in the hands of your wife.

Can you genuinely say that your mum wasn't a pain in the neck whenever she came around to your place? If the answer is yes, and be frank in answering this! If the answer is yes, then you need to ask your wife if she's also asking that her mum comes stay in your house, after all marriage is for two people, and not three.

Whatever her response, remorseful or not, tell her to give you time to think about it! I pray she doesn't become nasty about your demand for time to think about it!

After about a week bring in your mother-in-law. If the old woman didn't open up the issue of why it took you time to accept her coming in, don't also talk about it, i also pray she doesn't. If she does, tell her the whole story and if she feels like going back to her home, fine with you!

I don't blame most of our young ladies who have been taught nonsense by most marriage counsellors and marriage motivational speakers, they've ruined marriages with their toxic nonsense they called teachings and seminars. All these talk about dont allow anybody to come in-between you and your husband nonsense teachings!

How can a spouse tell me he/she loves the partner and you don't love the mother of your partner? There are some nasty mothers -in-law no doubt, but if yours isn't such why have no love for her?

Just welcome her in as soon as you feel cool to do so.

The best way to punish your wife for what she did, is to take a good care of her mum! Pour the love you weren't allowed to give to your mum on her mum in a double manner and pray for the good health of that woman.

If your wife doesn't come around to beg you for the pains caused you, by pouring this love on her mum, then you need to give up on her! She's not a woman of substance, na just another woman.

All the best brother.

NairalandSon:
Let me start by saying security job is not my dream job but while I'm very hopeful of getting that dream job someday soon, body and soul need to be put together. An unemployed person with penniless pocket will certainly understand my predicament. The only option is to grab anything provided it can take of your very essential needs. Worse is when you wake up with no food to eat or not even soap to bath with, then you'd realize doing anything is sure better than nothing.

So I got this security job which I resumed yesterday. Could you believe that same yesterday, armed robbers operated in the area. As you know, security or what people call gateman is the one the armed robbers target first when they come to a place.

It was around 3:am when everywhere was quiet, As the security, I did a patrol around the compound when I noticed suspicious noise in the next compound. Before I know, I heard people shouting over there. I stayed back. In less than no time, I saw about 5 people coming straight to my compound. They pointed torch inside. I didn't bother to ask who they were cos I already knew. My people, I didn't even know when I commot for gear run to the backyard of the house, jumped over to the other side which is a bush, breathing like who just escaped death. Unfortunately, I sustained injury while running in the bush. Since the gate of the compound is not high, they jumped over it and gained entry into the compound, but thankfully they couldn't gain access to the house due to burglary after a long while of triaI. Unfortunately for me again, I slept in the bush till this morning.

Now, I learnt robbers operate in the area often. This has further put fear in me. I wouldn't want to be a victim of robbery circumstance because of a job whose salary cannot even meet one's needs.

So I am confused now. Even with the injury, should I go back to the place or not? Presently I don't have anything else doing and I don't have money to sustain myself either. Please what would you advise me?

Note: this happened somewhere in Delta state. I don't want to disclose the location for security reasons.

If you're not trained for this kind of job, you had better quit immediately.

There's no point repeating the danger associated with this kind of job.

There are less risky kind of jobs in the neighbourhood, but because the kind of education we were given dictates tie and belt kind of job, very destructive mindset, you might not want to go look for lesser risky but well paying job.

Any artisan job is all over you, look very well, no risk. You only need to swallow your funny pride of educated man.

Go to building sites, many unskilled jobs abounds. You can start with labour of 2500 - 3000 daily.

The choice is yours.

BOLATINUBU01:
He gat no choice than to return it, cos it will surely be traced, but the guy is trying to play smart to get a better reward, unfortunately he didn't get want he wanted



Good for him sha

He was expecting a better reward for his faithfulness. He should calm down. The real reward for his honesty or intelligence is on the way. May be not from this man.

Let the man be told that it could have been difficult to trace him if the money was forgotten in his workshop and he refused to return it, nobody can accuse him of anything, but on this one he can be traced no matter for how long he wants to hide.

The reward may be small compared to the amount he returned but it is still something. It is a gift. You don't determine the size of gift you must be given by a giver.

lhordspy:
Just look at the poor condition of the road.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRg7Mhr0qnU

This road looks like Lagos! Tinubu road!

SuperEagles22:
Nigerians abroad lack unity. Nigerian-American women dont date Nigerian-American men, especially during youth. And Nigerian-Americans and Nigerians in America dont support eachother like other cultural groups. For example, when Arabs Move to the United States they start businesses and employ other men from their Arab nations, however Nigerians in America dont employ eachother or attempt to build business relationships with other Nigerians to support eachother economically.

Does This Video Hold Any Truth?

https://www.youtube.com/live/xWMJs5NHnHk?feature=share

The reason is very simple.

Since 1960, we've not been opportuned to have a leader to build a Nigerian state.

So, in diaspora, there's nothing to bind them together.

Watch out in the next 1yr, the kind of bond you'll find among Nigerians will be unprecedented.

Half plot of land for sale in Santos estate in Akowonjo, Egbeda, Lagos.
Price is #30m Asking.
Good location in the estate.
Verifiable title as well.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

It's quite challenging to make a decision for someone in your shoe.

Your past experience can be a hindrance. It's your life, you must decide.

One, try to remove emotion from your decision. Don't sleep with him yet, if you do, you won't be able to assess him.

He may actually be serious and he may not, particularly if youre a beautiful woman. Men are easily carried away with beautiful women.

Like any other kind of marriage, fresh or this type of remarrying, understanding of the purpose of marriage is important. You must be ready to accommodate the other person's shortcomings. Successfully married people are those with no entitlement mentality. Be ready to give your all.

Don't marry the man if he's jobless, not necessarily rich, but must be able to take care of 6 children and you too.

From your assessment, if he can't don't fall for any promise.

Don't marry him out of pity.

Ahead of all I said above, pray to know what God is saying about it. I'm not asking you to go meet a pastor to find out, pray yourself and let God tell you His mind about it.

Can you hear God when He speaks?

Fira09:
🤣 🤣 😂 😂!

Whether empty or numerous, Bola Tinubu isn't winning the presidential election.

On PO mandate we stand.

Hmmm! Be careful of high blood presssure o!

Serious people don't put all their hopes on any man!

P.O. or no P.O. life continues after the election my brother.

Racoon:
https://www.farooqkperogi.com/2023/02/three-major-shifts-in-presidential.html

Atiku's spokesman, well done.