funkmrflexx:
We Have Been Dating For 1 Year and 6 months now. I’ve met her parents, we wanted to get married last year but her dad told me to wait till she finishes school which is supposed to be next year. I’m 25 years old and she’s 22 .

I live alone in the city while my mom lives in the village. My younger sister who I’m sponsoring through school sometimes comes to my place during holidays and weekends. My girlfriend practically lives with me because she comes from a type of an Abusive family. So she lives with me and I even assist her with school fees and house rents sometimes. I’ve spent even more than her father for her school.

Everyone In my family knows her and she’s a very wonderful girl. Typical wife material. She supports me every time even when I’m broke. I’m not the type of guy that dates a lot of girls . I don’t even cheat on her. Since I met her I’ve done away with a lot of ladies. I’m 100% committed to the relationship

But the problem is that she Has very bad anger issues. I mean she can destroy your property when she’s angry and I’m the quiet type. I don’t like hitting a lady execpt once in a while a general brain resetting slap. When she starts she doesn’t listen to anyone. Not me, not even her parents. So anytime she’s angry like this I will just find a way to make her laugh. Both of you can just be eating and she will get angry if you ate the fleshy part of the meat and left oily part for her (we have quarreled because of that I mean serious quarrel) . Sometimes I get tired of the whole situation. At the end even when she’s wrong I’ll let her for peace to reign. So I try to manage the anger at home so it shouldn’t go out

So we went to visit my mom in the yesterday. Because of curfew we slept over. So my mom bought us mangos this morning and told us to carry.

My girlfriend then said she doesn’t like mango that if I want to eat my mango I should carry it myself. Then my mom (she is the type that always shouts at every body. The real wahala woman) told her that if she can’t carry the mango then she should just put it on my head for me to carry na (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na).

That was the only thing my mom said. Then she sparked. Started shouting at my mom. That she should stop talking to her like that, that she doesn’t like it. In fact she’s going home. So she carried her bag and started going home. Every one in the compound started saying it’s ok (Na dat thing why dem tell u Dey make u Dey vex so) she was still shouting. I was even try to calm her down but no way. She was still shouting. Even my sister who had never seen her angry before became angry (na so you b? She said). I was really disappointed In her

The issue is what even made me angry is how she reacted. If she didn’t like what my mom said made her angry. At least she should have waited till we got home (this was the first time we were both sleeping over) then she would tell me. Or she could have called my sister and told her what my mom said. After all the fracas, she went inside the room till we left. I just told everybody to just leave her.

So when we got home I told her what she did was wrong that she shouldn’t have reacted like that. Na there war start. She started yelling and shouting at me that if my mom talks to everyone like that she won’t take it (my plan was to tell her that she should apologize to her. Because my mom already apologized that she won’t talk to her again like that. Which I know she will o . So we can just forget about the issue. But she never accepts she’s wrong ) She said I took her to my village to intimidate her in front of my family people, I was really angry and called her uncle and told him what happened. He said there was nothing wrong with what my mom told her (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) and that he would talk to her .

I even scolded my mom before I left that I didn’t like what she said what she did that’s she was just causing issue. My girlfriend said when my mom said the word (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) that I should have immediately rebuked my mom. But me sef no see anything wrong with what my mom said( If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

I just Dey follow her uncle advise and leave her be until she calms down and I talk to her

So my people what’s offensive in this word? If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

But this her attitude don tire me. Break up is not on the card for me at least not yet. She always thinks that they are other guys out there because she has a lot of toasters but I know they can’t do quarter of what I’m doing for her. In this modern time it’s difficult to see a guy who will allow his girlfriend stay with him thereby losing his freedom to do certain things. A guy who doesn’t cheat, a guy who takes care of her does everything for her .

I just think the things she went through in her family is affecting her physiological. And sometimes when I think about leaving her I feel pity because she can’t go back to her parents house.

I stopped reading your epistle. The portion I read sounds so annoying!

Did the girl used your head to buy coconut? Some of you guys who don't know your left hand from your right hand and you want to marry? I'm sorry for you. You're seeing hell right in front of you and you're still coming here to be asking for advice!

Please, go right ahead and marry this girl, she's the right lady for you. She'll remove the nuts in your head fast and if you're still alive thereafter, you'll learn to use your brain.

Shormiey:
Peter Dada, Akure



source: https://punchng.com/gunmen-kill-ogboni-leader-in-ondo/

They should also interrogate the wife!

ken711:
I have been dating a girl for about 18 months now. Very pretty but my brothers, let me tell you... Look before you leap when it comes to pretty girls.

From the minute I met this girl it has been one money request after another. If it was small sums I guess I wouldn't really mind, as I have always worked for blue chip companies and can afford it. The thing is, her requests are always very big!.....20k this, 20K that.....but my brothers, I have to tell you the one that has made me even disappointed in myself.

She lives with her parents and they are the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of... Everyday one person is fighting the other, and this my girlfriend, as fine as she is, is the most arrogant, prideful, violent & rude person I have ever met. She hounded me everyday that I must get her an apartment of her own, so she can escape her home, and I agreed to but by saving monthly.

Would you believe, one night, when she was working at a bar as an usher for guinness, she gave her number to 2 different men just because of this apartment. My spirit kept telling me that she gave her number out, but she kept lying...only for me to catch her texting one of the men when we were at church of all places.......

She even went as far as going to meet this rich man at a hotel, but the man ran away when she made that request, and I as a fool decided to finally do it for her. (I suspect she cheated on me that night and I always tell it to her face because she has cheated on me twice before)

I live on the Island and tried to get her to rent here as well, as I really want to keep an eye on her..... She has too many guys around her who live in that area and she is this kind of person who cheats out of revenge, even over small things.....this girl refused and threatened to break things off!....bro, as a mumu I sent the money to her to rent the place and for other things, about 400K.....

Ever since that money left my account, it's like my eyes cleared!!! I couldn't believe that instead of saving my hard earned money, I went and sent it to a girl that has cheated on me twice (or even more), lied to me, slapped me and done so many things.....but I just decided to leave everything for God, seeing as she was desperate.

The problem now is that the demands for that apartment is now becoming too much!!! The expenses just to get the place finished are such a burden on my financial and mental state...

The worst happened about two days ago, she wanted me to pay 20k. Infact I just got so tired of bills that I kinda was stalling on it, but what happened next truly shocked me. Would you believe this girl started punching me, slapping me and even tore my shirt cos of 20k. She even threatened to break my office laptop (working from home) until I sent the money, after that she left........

Now she is trying to apologize so that I will pay for bed and gas and the remaining things....my brothers, I know u will say am a fool!...I accept...I am a handsome guy, studied abroad, I just don't know why loneliness made me fall in love with such a sadistic user... My only problem is, do I pay for the bed and just finish what I started or just free the whole thing and the nearly 500K I have already spent...

Please help!

Initially, I wanted to slam you with all kinds derogatory words, but I sensed that lady is using chams on you. You're hooked and you can't escape her. She'll likely kill you, except you get a higher power to release yourself.

There's no need for too much story, you're doomed. Get saved fast on your obituary will be published soon.

You actually went for her body, now you got more than you bargained for.

Akinsoladwayne:
I have been trying to upload the remaining parts of the story but my chrome browser won't allow me.
Maybe I'd continue tomorrow.

If what you wrote is true.

You may be married to someone more than a human being o!

While there's a tendency for men to be in love with the body of women more than there personality, your husband's case is frightening.

From today, learn to discuss this with him, and look for issues to engage his attention. If he's not interested in all of these, look for a help in a counselor or a pastor to engage him.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Your story was quite long.

Very hard to blame you as well. However, you lost your driving seat quite early in your marriage.

From your explanation, you sound apologetic as well, women by nature bad or good, well trained or not don't enjoy the driving seat. If a husband can't emotionally rise to the occasion in a bad time you make things worse for the woman.

Being in the driving seat means don't go and join the PITY PARTY OF AFRICA. Never pity yourself beside a woman, they believe that position belongs to them, and you're meant to be comforting them, jealousy won't make them pity you when enter into pitiful mode as a man.

Most likely, she began her infidelity business when threw away your manly mien. Women can be funny, unpredictable and most of the time confused even about themselves.

When she refused your using the savings for your business, it may be because of what she knew or saw in your managerial ability.

You must have felt bad when she decided to go for a course and she went. Let's assume it's not for the amorous dimension. You should have been glad for her and give her all the encouragement towards her course, but I'm sure you did the opposite because she refused your using the savings earlier for your own business.

Men need to know the psychology of women before marriage, it's a bit complex than we imagine or are taught by our parents if at all the parents even mentioned anything on handling your spouse.

Take care of your daughter and if she's not married to anyone else, assist her if she ask for it. I'm not sure you'll be able to handle even if she wants to come back. You need brace up with your emotions and be a man. Being a man is far more than just buying things for the family. Supply the emotional stuff for the woman and even without money for too long, your marriage can be safe.

If you can do that easily, you can't be financially down for too long as well.

All the best.

Pardon me if I sound too hard.

Amotolongbo:
Hmm

Not as if the private education entrepreneurs love education as such, they are just so concerned about the amount they are losing from the nonpayment of school fees by the school closure.

Na the parents of the students go still carry the burden of the cost of the mentioned preventive measures, not the school. It will eventually be added to their fees

These schools owners are already dying from the millions they used to collect from the stupid parents paying those stupid fees.

Why won't naija people learn? The most painful part of the story is that they labour more than legit business where their money will be safe. Please, do simple legit business. There are simple business, even in this lockdown. With those money you're gambling with, start an international business right from your room with all the support behind you to succeed.

If you're serious, send your WhatsApp number to my signature below and get the gist of it.

stupidity:
This bursty lady I invited to come chill, we gist normal, saw some movies and went to bed but first she showered and I did too: we were in bed sleeping when I felt someone rushed me with speed and grab hold of my trophy because I sleep naqed. Before I could realize what was going on, she glued her mouth to mine and almost sucked out my soul.

I had to struggle to break free and run out of the bedroom. I’m in a separate room toilet right now. Hiding naqed because I wasn’t putting any clothes on.

I can hear her calling out and looking for me because she cant find me.

She’s too big for me.

Please pray for me!! I’m scared. Have been praying for sun rise so I can call neighbors to come help me beg her to leave my house. She has broken my trust.

Stupidity in action!

prepresh:
There is this guy that is very close to me, he calls me often, but has never asked me out.

I don't know his house, he doesn't know mine, he has never taken me out on a date but does more than enough for me.

What should I do? Because other suitors are coming and I like him.

Except you're gold digger too, don't pick his calls, stop accepting his gifts.

When he has opportunity to meet with you, ask him what his problem really is.

He may actually has feelings for you, but clueless on how to say it.

If you truly has feelings for him, put fingers in his mouth to talk, so that you know your next move.

If he eventually declares his feelings for you, and both of you pull it through to marriage, don't forget this fact that he's not a talker.

Women love to hear the voice of their bae, so you'll help break his silence till he becomes what you want, and not start quarrelling with him about not toasting you all the time.

Wish you success.

donbachi:
Yes...run come my house.

Nobody likes what you're going through, however you need wisdom! Learn all you can, while your travails last, trust me, it won't be forever.

You're being prepared to be married to a greater man that your aunty will be ashamed to stand beside when it happens later.

More importantly, your understanding and state of mind will determine how you'll be able to cope.

Your age now, is also critical, you're close than before to your liberation.

Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men

This life can be funny I tell you. It has to be understood. Here you're having a woman craving her husband to do things without her! Many are crying for not being carried along in decision making. Chineke!

Well, when it gets too much, a woman is put off again. You came into his life by divine arrangements, but majority of the people don't reckon with divinity and that's the problem. You're God-sent into his life.

When you understand this, your stress is reduced. Then, you can watch out for the reason of this overdepende on you. Make sure you never did any love charm prior to your wedding because I don't trust Nigerians.

Thank God for his life and pray against fear of the unknown in his life. It's no joke. Let me ask you, on business and bedroom matters, does he seek your consent to take decisions? This might begin to open up the issues, I hope you understand my intent in asking that question. How good is he in the oza room?

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

]

Check out the likes in the comments and follow the trend. I wanted to add my voice to the encouragement but on 2nd thought, I felt that I should leave you alone.

You can damn the funny tradition, but do you have the spiritual power to do so? Are you born again and solid in your understanding of who you are even if you're born again?

Even after you've investigated from your village if you're related or not, except you're from a village of 200 people and you're not related, you can only ignore the tradition If you have the spiritual power to do so.

If you don't have the power, just abandon your village after cutting off with that girl, and start your life afresh.

OsmanH163:
"Conceal my identity please* Please how do I stop squirting. I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable after squirting because of how my boyfriend reacts.




After the whole sex which he would literary want me to squirt he will say stuffs like make sure u wash the blanket, wash pillows cases , wash Bedsheets and all I obviously don't have a problem with that.

My problem is when he makes it mandatory that I don't give to a dry cleaner I should wash them myself and am tired of washing coz those bedsheets are f***king heavy. Please give me advise on how to stop squirting.




I can't go through around of sex without squirting 3 to 4 times U have no idea what it means to spill squirt and start thinking oh Lord another heap of bedsheets, he makes me feel very bad when I squirt it even in the middle of sex he will just stop and get angry that I mess up the entire bed."




I'll immediately get dried even with how slippery I feel. The last arguments we had he drop me off at my place and decided to kiss me, one thing lead to the other he touched me down..READ MORE...

He's ignorant of what that means, simple! That's what millions of men and women are looking forward to get during their show! So, it's mere ignorance on his part. In the alternative, he's just selfish to mind that you too deserve an enjoyment of the act, and that's the high point of the satisfaction for a woman.

So, going forward, get him educated by explaining what that means to him. If he understands this explanation, he'll be excited about it and he'll even be the one washing the bedsheets after your acts.

He should be excited seeing you happy after the sessions.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Except this piece is your attempt at writing short stories, you seem to be heading for troubles even if she agrees to carry the burden of the wedding you're forcing her to carry.

Before your so called expensive traditional wedding, did both of you sit down to discuss how to fund this wedding?

This is the mistake most of us used to make. How on earth you left this crucial issue undiscussed?

It is also very clear that both of your are not matured enough for marriage! We always equate marriage with wedding. What a calamity we build for ourselves. Hope I'm not sounding too hard on you both.

Also, are you serious that her wedding gown is yet to be sewed 3weeks to the wedding ceremony?

Like someone advised here, must you go to church if you don't have money for church wedding?

The reason you even mentioned for asking her to shoulder the part of the wedding expenses is too dangerous. Her salary! So, it means both of you will begin to share bills as soon as you marry? Eeyah, you are looking for high blood pressure too early in marriage.

3weeks to wedding, you still need a solid marriage counselling, I'm so sure you never got anyone towards this lifetime business you're about stepping into.

My prayer for you is that you'll grow up in the next 3weeks to be a man that a husband is meant to be, as a matter of fact, a husband must be a leader.

If your story is true, go fast and look for her before both of you emabarases your parents and families before its too late.
Swallow your pride, find a way to open up discussion and resolved on how she will support you in the expenses and mean it from your heart.

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

Human beings are funny!

While one can't conclude that Susan is the best in the world.
However, your character can't be hidden for too long. You never said anything about Benita, but she's the one that makes you happy, go with her. We're waiting for your misery story when Benita moves into your house, you'll continue your kitchen chores and she'll sit quietly for you to be done, and she'll come chop.

All the best.

BiafraforTrump:


Fool what do you know about imo?, you think all these your write ups here from dirty afonja land will cover the true situation of things.. APC criminals installed hope uzodinma against the wish of the people of Imo state period and the people are sad.
Idiot!
if you like call them wailer or waiter from now till thy kingdom come it is inconsequential..

Eeyah! See home training.

What can I do to help you from this ill-mannered behavior?

Grow up, release your hate virus and enjoy deliverance for once.

Rev Fr. Mbaka is not far from you, go for prayers, you never can tell, you may the next governor of Imo.

Are you married? Your wife will deal with you if you use this dirty mouth with her.

Grow up guy.

donbachi:
What a black day for the judiciary....all the same,too late to cry.

I like Imo people e! They must be professional wailers! Ihedioha don't have money to pay all these wailers o!

Doctorjames:
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soobaba:
Hi guys,
So I'll be very direct and summarize this as possible. But please bear with me if I get carried away...
I've been been dating my girlfriend for a year now and we are very serious and I'm even considering proposing to her, but we are not based in the same town.
So I called her with another number last night, she couldn't recognize my voice cause I sounded different, so I decided to play around cause we gist and make fun of each other a lot. So I acted like I was someone who got her number and is trying to toast her.
She asked who was speaking and I said Victor, that I got her number when I saw her in the bank, we were on the same queue, so i copied her number from her teller, she laughed and all, so after all the lines I poured out, she was just laughing and flowing along, so I asked if we could see that night, but she said it was late but I had to persuade her, so she agreed that I instead come to her place to see her. "This is someone she hasn't met before and she agreed for him to come see her at her place, in the night for that matter".
So I asked for her address and she gave out her real address, asked if she has a boyfriend and she said yes but we ain't in the same town.
I got upset and had to open up and ask why she's cheating on her guy? At this point she was mute and ended the call. I called back but she didn't answer anymore.
So I just dropped a message on WhatsApp that I was disappointed.
Her reply was devastating: she wrote;
keep your disappointment in your pocket.
Don't even get me more angry.
Just do yourself a favor by not ever mentioning me in your mouth again.
Remove everything that has to do with me in your phone and life.
Rubbish.
No be only disappointment.
Grow up.
Comot for my front make I see road jor...
I haven't replied her yet, don't even know what to say to her right now, thought about calling her but my brother told me not to, that I should just free her. Please guys what should I do?
Moderator please help me move this to front page...

If your story is true. God just delivered you from a lifetime sorrow.

If you're also better than her, move on. In any case, most guys are not different from the ladies. It's just same same.

Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

Quite a number of suggestions have been offered to you here.

Above all, get relaxed about your husband's chats with anybody. Your fears may even be unfounded.

Your utmost concern now should be your health. Get a hand to assist in domestic chores, not all men are domesticated unfortunately. I hope others reading this will learn and teach their boy children how to be useful at home. If the boys don't learn from age 1, they won't start when they get married, by then it's too late.

Please, avoid self medication, avoid unverified herbal treatments.

Communication is easy if we'll start it by calming down, appreciating your spouse for all the assistance and then tender your concerns genuinely. Somebody that makes love to you will not suddenly turn away from your concerns if you address your concern politely, painfully many of us are not taught the art of communication.

Also, avoid reporting him to anyone without trying what has been suggested above. It's only if all of these failed that 3rd party involvement can be considered.

I pray for you and your husband and the whole family that you will get over this in a very short time. You will also be able to handle your ego from preventing you from following these advices. God bless you.

karkinase:

Why didn't the Baby daddy deemed her worth enuf for marriage...

That's a different ball game altogether. We were never told what led to their separation. Now that you've decided to marry this single mum, get it right that she'll always have something to do with the guy because of their child.

If she wasn't going out with the guy again, you don't have any cause to worry!

Even if you're ready to bear the responsibility of raising her child, you still can't deny the father access to the child and other issues concerning the child.

Your best bet is to meet the guy, if the guy wants to keep having anything to do with your wife, she must be willing to bring the guy to meet you or else you back out.

If she's not willing to allow you meet the guy, then something may be going on between them.

streetsoldier1:
I tried all I could to save face, just have to end it all after discovering that the single mother I married still contacts her ex regularly...

Despite forgiving her several errors even while we got engaged, she still has the guts under my roof to mess up.

Warning guys, never ever marry a single mother that has been messed up!!!
6 years was messed up!!!

Sometimes we don't appreciate the dept of what we're signing up for.
A single mother must take care of her child, and the father has a right to know what's going on with his child.

How would all of these happen without relating with the ex.

Did you find out she's going out with the ex again or what?
You didn't say anything explicit about her offence.

Please, take into consideration all of these factors before labelling her.

GoTV:
Even though I'm a born again Christian, i think ee Christians are hypocrites. When the Chinese government banned Islam and were persecuting our Muslim brothers, we Christians were happy thinking it's all about Islam. Now the chicken has come home to roost. I hope they sentence more pastors worldwide to reduce the influence of the fake Jewish religion

You're indeed a born again Christian.

esivue007:
Why are u replyin like this??
he's not gonna fvck ur ass.
give him a solution or....let him be.

Yes, he needs solution.

Meanwhile, this type of issue is unbelievably psychological.

You may not want to tell us the size of your dick here, that's ok, but hear this; the average size of dick across board is 4" when soft, 5.5" when erect.

Anyone with bigger boy are the exceptions, Baba God was only humourous in giving them that big.

Let's start by saying that no matter the size of your instrument, the skill about how to use it is more important than the size.

Women too don't help matters, most of them felt the great feeling they get, or the orgasm itself is as a result of the length or size of the guy, but no sir/ma.

The portion of the female genital that gives the satisfaction to women is within 3" from the entrance, except your dick is less than 3" at erection.

So Oga don't break your head about this size matter.

Relax and thank God for what he gave you. Read more for better understanding on how to pleasure your wife. Or na because of girlfriend you make talk this plenty?

Take your time o!

MaxVee:
I Am Losing My Mind, Could This Be Love Or Foolishness?

Okay, I'd be quick and brief as well.

So about 6 months ago, I met my girl on facebook, And after months wooing her to date me, she finally agreed and we started dating..

Like everything was perfect and indeed I fell deeply in love with her even before I met her.

So along the line in our relationship she told she had a best friend who is a guy and they have know each other for like 4years..and that they talk very well (calls and chat) and that they tell each other they love themselves, but if I wasn't cool with it,I could break up she would understand.

As a guy I knew I had fallen for her and I embraced her telling me about the guy after a strong assurance from her that they were not into any sort of relationship with each other.

So my girl called me like let's say a month after we started dating that there was this her friend who she hadn't met and that wanted and she was going to see him, and I was like fine, she should just be fine.

P.S:- I hadn't met with my girl even till the point she went to meet the guy...I was in the west and she was in one of the states in the East..more like a long distance relationship.

Fast forward to days after they met I became uncomfortable with the relationship between my girl and the said new guy she met..I talked to her severally about it and she was at some point swearing not having anything to do with the new guy she just met.

Fast forward to the festive season I came back and I met my girl for the first time..indeed she was everything I imagined and we flowed amazingly well.

Long story cut short in the midst of one of our long conversations I discovered she have at some point had sex severally with her said best friend...so I was like since it was before we met I forgave her and we moved on..

yesterday I asked her if she has anything with the new guy and she swore again not having anything with him that the guy has been asking her out and she refused dating him.

She said plenty of things that convinced me into believing that nothing was going between them.

P.S:- before yesterday I told her to tell the new guy she has a boyfriend and she promised to..(from the actions of my girl I could tell she loves me.) She later told me that day that she told him and she had blocked him and stuff..and trust me I did believe her.

So this morning while she was sleeping I reaching out to her phone and went straight to her WhatsApp.. opened the chat with the guy and what I saw broke me..

She was reconciling with him over the break up she instigated of which was caused by something totally different not even because she told him she had a guy..what killed my spirit was a message she wrote to the guy saying "she left me for him even though I was far much a better option"..I confronted her and she has been pleading saying she loves me but she likes him and that they haven't had anything except kissing and caressing..that she loves me so much..that she started liking him when she started talking to him more frequently and I was far away. She hadn't know me..so she got fond of him and she likes him.

I love this babe so much, I told her I forgive her..but please I need your opinions..am I blinded by love or am being foolish..

How would you handle the situation. If it was you..
La La.. please help move this to front page
Am breaking every hour.

I was about insulting you till I read the 1st person to comment after your post.

I forgot that I've once been in a heartbroken state too before. One thing however that is clear in that situation is, either you're going to remain broken and keep behaving stupidly or you get your eyes clear and move on.

Emotions are powerful, truly 80% of our description is our emotions. Powerful influence it has upon us.

From my analysis, the lady is a dunce, rotten with no sense of selfworth. If you remain a day longer with her, definitely you're worse than her.

Except this is a Nollywood script, go do better things with your life and prepare for a great and better future with a girl well trained from home.

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Don't look for sympathisers from this platform, even if you get one, that's not what you need.

You've said it yourself, certain revelations won't happen till certain situations show up.

Unfortunately, she couldn't handle her new status. Meanwhile, it's for a temporary period. You'll soon go beyond this bend in the journey of your marriage.

It is also a period of self-examination, so, don't miss it. Critically look deep into yourself.

However, don't get pained about her behaviour, she's just reflecting her level of maturity, she needs to grow up!

On her siblings and parents, just take your cool. Keep watching all of them, without being bitter towards anyone, remember, everyone is being given opportunity to show who they are at this junction of your life.

Let your job search continue, or look towards alternative of starting a business, you never can tell, God may be setting you up for something bigger than a paid job.

Above all, call her for a heart2heart discussion without anyone's interference. Just the two of you. Explain your observation and let her show her innocence or arrogance about your observation. This will allow you to remind her when things turn around, for it will surely turn around.

Remain positive and loving. Ask of her opinions about the situation of things and what she thinks you need to do better or about upping your game.

Just remain yourself, hard, but possible.

Brock202:
Hi everyone, i dont want to bore you with long talk.
I need your advise on this issue,
Me and this girl have been in a relationship for over a year now, she posses some of the features i want in my woman but she's lacking one thing which is intelligence, i always be the one to bring up a topic we can talk about, I've never meet her for advice or anything that bothers me because i know she can't proffer any solution to it, we don't use to chat on WhatsApp after saying hi and i reply, how was your day that's the end, I'm the only one that bring up issue to discuss everytime but now am tired of it, I've complained to her several times but she said she don't what to say, I've sent her some books to read but she didn't read any of them. I'm thinking of breaking up with her because i can't cope with her again and then i decide to give it a second thought that's why i put it here if there is any other tips i can use to build her up to my taste

Advise me please!

You don't have any problem. When you post any or some of the qualities you admire in her, then we can discuss if there's any reason why you should continue in the relationship or not.

How do you describe intelligence?

Check up the meaning of the word in Wikipedia to be sure that's what you're missing in her.

Everyone has an area of interest, when you hit the spot of interest, discussing in the language she flow with, then you come to the conclusion if she's intelligent or not.

If you're looking forward to wife with good spoken English, then encourage her to enroll in an English class.

Realdeals:
That is the attitude of 97% of married women, especially Christian marriages.

So short a comment, but very powerful and accurate. Many Christians are really suffering in silence due to ignorance and pride. So be ready to learn.

However, something tells me that no woman can resist a man who's funny, humourous, that takes life easy and at the same time serious minded, when it comes to getting ready for sex.

While every human being is unique and peculiar, certain things are common with either gender. So study these peculiar matters.

When you handle your spouse very well and you're sensitive and attentive, sex is the most common thing between them.

However, most of us don't understand this. We assume a lot, she's wicked, taking me for a ride etc.

Before skin for skin(if you know, you know), sex for women begins from the mind. Men should get that clear. The guy who knows how to start the mind games is a winner on bed any day.

Let's come down to the ABC of this issue, who's your wife? What does she talks about? Analyze it first and talk about it too, even if you don't have the means to solve the problem at first. Give assurance that you will solve the problem soon and mean it. Share it with her if it will take time to solve it.

Fund out her state of health. Ensure she's well.

Finally, learn how to pleasure a woman, it isn't a 100m race, but a marathon race.

When she sees that you care, she's the one that will offer you a good sex, and to your satisfaction.

Don't assume buying of gifts is the short cut to the paradise, don't ignore those points above.

Ladies are responders at best, not initiators, so men should initiate any changes they desire. That's what it means to be in charge.

If you do half of these things, be ready for the sex you've been craving for, when ladies start it, no stopping o! Truth is that you can't do it everyday, so you must learn other ways to satisfy her orgasm need apart from thrusting in and out all the time.

All the best. Read and study how to pleasure a lady, I mean your wife o. Me I don't believe in any other thing apart from husband and wife matter.

shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.

I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.

After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.

There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.

Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.

Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?

I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

I tried reading other comments before dropping mine, I do that sometimes to be sure I'm not too hard on posters.

The truth is that you got married without knowing it, apparently, the way you spoke sounded like someone railroaded into the traditional wedding you did.

It's very possible that what you had between yourself then was just lust and not love, and when pregnancy came the eyes of both of you became clear.

Now, don't judge your success in the marriage simply on the tension between the two of you now. You could've have enjoyed the relationship better if you know the Dynamics of marital relationship. This is what you must study, don't underate it's importance.

Like someone said here among the comments, even if you divorce this one, if you're still ignorant of this dynamics, the second one will fail too.

For now, let me tell you, every woman is beautiful, sexy, romantic, the job is in the hands of both of you. We all differ, but we all have our strength and weaknesses. A successful marriage is one who appreciates both in each other's and maximize the strengths and overlook the weaknesses.

The initiative for reconciliation and progress lies with the man, women are created to respond to the action of their men. So, clear your head, initiate the kind of marriage you want with that wife of yours and you'll see the response you're dreaming of.

It's never too late to reignite the flame of love and passion you once had before the pregnancy.

No woman is bad until the man gives up on working on the marriage.

No woman will take a side chic in your office and lie low. Forget those fine looking chics in your office, you'll be surprised to know that your wife is more beautiful if you give her attention and funding. Is your wife earning money or salary? Better ensure that angle first. Nobody is happy without a source of income.

midnighter:




There is NOTHING pedestrian about having a passion for young people and wanting to guide them, nothing!

The young people make the nation, dont you know that

If we had more people like him we wouldnt be in this mess we're facing right now.

Remember the purpose of his write up here. Convincing his parents to support his dreams! Definitely, it's not having passion for being around and teaching young people that I called pedestrian, surely not. If you're a parent, you'll surely want something more concrete than this as the reason for going into academics than nursing.

Hope I'm clear!

Macauley07:
Dear NL.
Recently, I was offered admission into a federal university to study psychology. I've always wanted to be a lecturer, so I opted for a course that wouldn't be much of a problem to me. My plan is to give in my best so as to come out excellent, go for my Masters abroad and venture into lecturing.

The problem here is: my parent doesn't buy the idea. They keep saying that landing a lecturing job is hard to come bye these days, that I might end up being disappointed. Moreover, a course such as psychology isn't one to expect any thing good from, especially here in Nigeria.

Now they are pleading I consider Nursing, according to them, I stand a higher chance of getting a job in a nursing profession to psychology. They are planning on sending me out of the country after the program. Should I just dash off my dream of becoming a lecturer to pursue nursing?

I love being around young people, and being in a university setting as a lecturer gives me that privilege to teach, mentor and guide them and at the same time work on my self. I think I'll find fulfilment as an academic. I'm confused, what would you advise me, if I were to be your brother?
Thanks

Quite frankly, many a parent are really old school. While they may want the best for you and your family, most of them are not trendy on the current job/career opportunities across the globe.

For all you know, nursing is just like petroleum engineering, narrow though high sounding.

The job of convincing your parents that you know what you're talking about is in your hands.

Psychology is so wide a terrain that with it, even as an academic, you can do much other things even as consultant. Go do your homework on what you can do with psychology and show it to your parents.

You also sound a bit pedestrian on your reason for choosing academics, apart from teaching and being around young people, what else are your dreams for those young people and your nation?

Romanoff:
Don't be too in a hurry to be with her. If you know each other as well as you claim or if she loves you as much as you've described, she must have very strong reasons for turning down your proposal.

Find out that or those reason(s), this will determine if you'll need to even propose the second time.

Follow this advice and close your case. As simple as that. Get to know her fears. She may be double dating for all you care, now in a dilemma of whom to choose.