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MENTORSHIP: Your shortest route to success.

While your call and purpose may be unique to your personality, you can be sure somebody has gone via that route before. Don't reinvent the wheel, don't waste resources, watch out for the hand that has done what you are trying to do.

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Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

You're still a baby, you know next to nothing about emotions. That girl simply opened your eyes. So what happens to your spouse after your death is your headache now?

Go and do your service, work for several years, when you've grown up, then think of marriage.

Somebody is helping you to understand what your mum is going through emotionally and you're here whining here. Do you know that 52yr olds still look for sexual comfort?

Amotolongbo:
Oba Okunade Sijuade was unable to follow the footsteps of his predecessor

Ife had the most unprecedented growth and development during his reign. Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife was his influence

Oba Sijuade was Ooni of London during his reign. Ile-Ife was his farm yard. All the contracts meant for the catchment area of the university supposedly to be given to small and medium scale contractors were in his kitty. OAU began her inglorious descent during his reign.

Viralmagg:
• Find a Niche flexible for you
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• Be a prolific writer , write for your audience not yourself, let them anticipate for more
• buy a SEO driven domain and host
• choose the CMS convenient for you ( blogger or WordPress you can ask developers to design an appealing blog for you)
• The Blogosphere is fill, alway be a step ahead
• optimize your post for search engines

After a while Monetize

This is nice. However, for beginners this simple explanation is like being in year one in the university and you're going for PhD.

Meanwhile, with someone holding your hand like this poster, your journey may be faster.

Don't ever try to go alone on the journey. You'll abandon it before you take off.

All the best.

[quote author=blissbliss post=91008869][/quote]


Interested. My WhatsApp number is on my signature here.

Babzrockman:
And Nigerians are here sleeping in dark... Who send una to give them power?

So you don't know why Nigeria supplies those countries power, until you do, no further comment.

Trayceey:
A friend of mine just opened up to me about her relationship. She said when she met her man, she assumed she was younger than him because he looked so big and more mature than her and he also acts mature than her.

One day, they were discussing their age and she found out she was older, so she had to lie about her age. The relationship went on and the love grew stronger, then a day came, she asked him if he can marry a lady older than him, he said 'never' she asked what if it's just one year? He still said ' never'. Then she asked him that what if he later found out that his girlfriend is older, what would he do? He said he would end the relationship.

She said she couldn't bear it any longer and so she opened up to him about her age. That she's a year older than him. She wants him to know before it's too late. After opening up to him, she was expecting him to end the relationship but he didn't. He's still coming for her, he still loves her and wants to marry her. But she's withdrawing from the relationship because of what the guy said earlier.

Please advise her. I will show her your comments

Please, just stay away from that guy!

Irrespective of whatever he's saying now, he has told you his real personality, he's probably continuing now due to the dating going on, particularly if you guys have become intimate in the bedroom! Be warned, he's not likely going to rise up to that reality that you are older.

What a lady needs isn't anything more than a visionary husband, who's sure of himself and he's constantly voicing the dream. The key to a woman's heart is security which is always rooted in the future world the man is carrying and carrying seriously.

If you're still keen on marrying him, you'll need to give the guy more tests at his unprepared moments to see beyond what he's saying now!

If all he said about an older partner is true till you disclosed your age, he's also not too smart, what if you end up saying youre older like you eventually did?

Why haven't you asked him, what he's still doing with you after his declaration about an older partner. You women sef, na only God fit save una!

donbachi:
Go and transfer ur late father's corpse to another mortuary or u go back to that very mortuary u deposited his body,and warn them not to release his corpse to anybody,unless u come in person.as for the shop,buy another key and lock it.while u plan for his burial..do not give room to anger and exchange of words.

Nice advice, however get a lawyer to handle the police to whom you must report those idiots of relations you call your uncles.

Your lawyer is the only person those idiots and the police will fear. If you go around doing anything, they'll mess you up, except there are still sensible elders left in your village.

Stupid African culture of thieves and idiots all over the place.

OritaIbadan:
I employed this 21years old lady last year as a sales rep. At resumption to work she appeard so decent and godly always With her Bible and Sunday school manual. I was really impressed by her spiritual and respectful nature. This made me treat her different from others. I buy her things and sometimes gives her money and always discuss her good life style with my wife. But what amazed me was that my wife was so indifferent about her each time I discuss her my wife will quickly change the topic. I thought, well woman with their naughty behavior towards other women.

Fast forward to June first this year her phone was stolen and I have a phone in office that I allow them access to incase their phone is off I can easily reach them through it. This faithful day, I tried to access my Facebook account using the office phone and found out that this same lady had used it but forget to logout. Well, I knew it was wrong to check her inbox but all the same I did.

After checking her inbox I couldn't sleep all night. I found out that she is having unprotected sex with 5 guys each guy per Sunday and she just did an abortion March this year the very day she told me that she was sick and can't make it to work and she wasn't sure who among the guys that impregnated her. I also found out that she had missed her period again and trying to hang it on one of the boys. The amazing thing is that non of these guys suspects her, they all believe she is a faithful girl friend.

I have thought of relieving her of her job, but my wife is asking me what should I give as reasons. But the truth is that I had never winessed such a wayward life before. If I pretend as though I know nothing she will eventually commit another abortion and continue with such life which is very dangerous at her age. What if she is my own daughter?

Please I want the mode to push this to the front page. I want to seek others opnion about it

It's amazing to read "It's none of your business" comments all over here.

This world has little or no future left.

While nobody is saying poking into the phone is right, the nay sayers here have forgotten that you said this phone isn't hers by the way.

You might ordinarily not have gotten any reason to go looking into her personal phone, but for the earlier expressed reason that it's the office phone.

Before she dies in your office with her lifestyle, you had better sack her.

If you do not have any attraction already with her, you can declare how you got the information from the phone without any apology.

It's your office, your office phone and you are responsible to some extent for the safety of your workers.

Young man, don't be lazy. You want to study computer science and you were given statistics!

Google will give a thousand and one uses of that versatile course you're studying.

Many of you guys are still thinking of job after graduation!

Look for problems to solve with whatever course you're studying. That's the way to the bank.

topedoski:
I am currently a student in Ahmadu Bello University Zaria. I applied for Computer Science but I was offered Statistics. I had no other options than to go for it. I have been at home with no admission for 3 years and my junior brother would also be writing Jamb next year, so you see?

Well I discovered that I haven't really think about the course Statistics because I have always dreamt of being a computer scientist, I even learnt how to code while at home. But this statistics is like a new world to me. I want to know what and what I will be facing as a statistician, what kind of career field are available or open for someone who read statistics.

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Thank God you ended by saying you've filed for divorce. No too much story now! After the divorce, we go know who be Oga between the two of you or na you dey lie here. Just be patient to follow through with the divorce process. At the same time watch your back very well or you may not be alive to see the end of the divorce process.

Leece:
My 50 Yrs Old Boss Shows A Lot Of Cleavage When We Meet, What Could She Want?

So I got this job around 2019 and I noticed from the very day I went for my interview, there was this woman who happened to be very lenient with me and cautioned others when they asked me tough question. All she did saved me from disgracing myself in front of 5 panelist. After the interview I waited till they closed just so i could say thank you.

When she came out around 7 pm she was more elegant and had this carriage that suits her age. I approached her and she recognized me immediately she was happy to see me and I thanked her. As I was about to leave she offered me a ride and being a very good conversationist that I am, I began to talk and she became very free with me. She told me a lot about her husband and his drinking addiction and how he neglected her sexual needs. I tried comforting her with words and ended by saying she is 50 na her libido should be dead by now, she didn't take offence but replied and said I cant handle her if we ever get down.

Fast forward to when I resumed, I realized she was the CFO of the organisation, now fear don catch me. I couldn't even look her in the eye to start a conversation. I think she noticed and she called me to her office and was laughing at me and later told me she would like us to keep talking the way we did yesterday cause she doesn't have much friends.

There was this day she was dancing to an old Fuji song in the office, her office is sound proof moreover it was already past office hours, i went to say goodbye, she called me to come in and didn't let me leave. I thought to myself another free ride.

She jumped up at a point and had a nip slip, i mean both breast were literally out. I just closed my eyes, she fixed it and was smiling at me.
Since that time till now she has been showing massive cleavage anytime i'm around her. She has started calling me my dear and other staff are calling me omo mummy and they dont know what I am facing

Don't give yourself unnecessary headache. What's right is what is right. Remove the thought off your mind, tell yourself it's not right. Don't sleep with her.

Surely, you can't marry her, so why jeopardize your future. Yes, she may undo you by not sleeping with her, that will be a lesser loss than sleeping with somebody's wife. Even if she's forming and not married, she can't marry you. How do I know? If she's really single and wanted you to marry her, there's a better way of doing it. She'll watch you for a long time, see whether you're matured enough for her age and status. When she's convinced, she'll opened up the issue. If you agree with her proposal, surely you won't continue with that job because she'll get you something far better and bigger.

From all you said, she's only looking for someone to service her. You may be killed in the process by her or her husband.

Save as much as 20% of your earnings for as long as you stay on the job.

Most of the time when guys bring this story up, they're already dreaming of steaming sex session. If your story is true, wake up from that trap.

funkmrflexx:
We Have Been Dating For 1 Year and 6 months now. I’ve met her parents, we wanted to get married last year but her dad told me to wait till she finishes school which is supposed to be next year. I’m 25 years old and she’s 22 .

I live alone in the city while my mom lives in the village. My younger sister who I’m sponsoring through school sometimes comes to my place during holidays and weekends. My girlfriend practically lives with me because she comes from a type of an Abusive family. So she lives with me and I even assist her with school fees and house rents sometimes. I’ve spent even more than her father for her school.

Everyone In my family knows her and she’s a very wonderful girl. Typical wife material. She supports me every time even when I’m broke. I’m not the type of guy that dates a lot of girls . I don’t even cheat on her. Since I met her I’ve done away with a lot of ladies. I’m 100% committed to the relationship

But the problem is that she Has very bad anger issues. I mean she can destroy your property when she’s angry and I’m the quiet type. I don’t like hitting a lady execpt once in a while a general brain resetting slap. When she starts she doesn’t listen to anyone. Not me, not even her parents. So anytime she’s angry like this I will just find a way to make her laugh. Both of you can just be eating and she will get angry if you ate the fleshy part of the meat and left oily part for her (we have quarreled because of that I mean serious quarrel) . Sometimes I get tired of the whole situation. At the end even when she’s wrong I’ll let her for peace to reign. So I try to manage the anger at home so it shouldn’t go out

So we went to visit my mom in the yesterday. Because of curfew we slept over. So my mom bought us mangos this morning and told us to carry.

My girlfriend then said she doesn’t like mango that if I want to eat my mango I should carry it myself. Then my mom (she is the type that always shouts at every body. The real wahala woman) told her that if she can’t carry the mango then she should just put it on my head for me to carry na (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na).

That was the only thing my mom said. Then she sparked. Started shouting at my mom. That she should stop talking to her like that, that she doesn’t like it. In fact she’s going home. So she carried her bag and started going home. Every one in the compound started saying it’s ok (Na dat thing why dem tell u Dey make u Dey vex so) she was still shouting. I was even try to calm her down but no way. She was still shouting. Even my sister who had never seen her angry before became angry (na so you b? She said). I was really disappointed In her

The issue is what even made me angry is how she reacted. If she didn’t like what my mom said made her angry. At least she should have waited till we got home (this was the first time we were both sleeping over) then she would tell me. Or she could have called my sister and told her what my mom said. After all the fracas, she went inside the room till we left. I just told everybody to just leave her.

So when we got home I told her what she did was wrong that she shouldn’t have reacted like that. Na there war start. She started yelling and shouting at me that if my mom talks to everyone like that she won’t take it (my plan was to tell her that she should apologize to her. Because my mom already apologized that she won’t talk to her again like that. Which I know she will o . So we can just forget about the issue. But she never accepts she’s wrong ) She said I took her to my village to intimidate her in front of my family people, I was really angry and called her uncle and told him what happened. He said there was nothing wrong with what my mom told her (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) and that he would talk to her .

I even scolded my mom before I left that I didn’t like what she said what she did that’s she was just causing issue. My girlfriend said when my mom said the word (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) that I should have immediately rebuked my mom. But me sef no see anything wrong with what my mom said( If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

I just Dey follow her uncle advise and leave her be until she calms down and I talk to her

So my people what’s offensive in this word? If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

But this her attitude don tire me. Break up is not on the card for me at least not yet. She always thinks that they are other guys out there because she has a lot of toasters but I know they can’t do quarter of what I’m doing for her. In this modern time it’s difficult to see a guy who will allow his girlfriend stay with him thereby losing his freedom to do certain things. A guy who doesn’t cheat, a guy who takes care of her does everything for her .

I just think the things she went through in her family is affecting her physiological. And sometimes when I think about leaving her I feel pity because she can’t go back to her parents house.

I stopped reading your epistle. The portion I read sounds so annoying!

Did the girl used your head to buy coconut? Some of you guys who don't know your left hand from your right hand and you want to marry? I'm sorry for you. You're seeing hell right in front of you and you're still coming here to be asking for advice!

Please, go right ahead and marry this girl, she's the right lady for you. She'll remove the nuts in your head fast and if you're still alive thereafter, you'll learn to use your brain.

Shormiey:
Peter Dada, Akure



source: https://punchng.com/gunmen-kill-ogboni-leader-in-ondo/

They should also interrogate the wife!

ken711:
I have been dating a girl for about 18 months now. Very pretty but my brothers, let me tell you... Look before you leap when it comes to pretty girls.

From the minute I met this girl it has been one money request after another. If it was small sums I guess I wouldn't really mind, as I have always worked for blue chip companies and can afford it. The thing is, her requests are always very big!.....20k this, 20K that.....but my brothers, I have to tell you the one that has made me even disappointed in myself.

She lives with her parents and they are the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of... Everyday one person is fighting the other, and this my girlfriend, as fine as she is, is the most arrogant, prideful, violent & rude person I have ever met. She hounded me everyday that I must get her an apartment of her own, so she can escape her home, and I agreed to but by saving monthly.

Would you believe, one night, when she was working at a bar as an usher for guinness, she gave her number to 2 different men just because of this apartment. My spirit kept telling me that she gave her number out, but she kept lying...only for me to catch her texting one of the men when we were at church of all places.......

She even went as far as going to meet this rich man at a hotel, but the man ran away when she made that request, and I as a fool decided to finally do it for her. (I suspect she cheated on me that night and I always tell it to her face because she has cheated on me twice before)

I live on the Island and tried to get her to rent here as well, as I really want to keep an eye on her..... She has too many guys around her who live in that area and she is this kind of person who cheats out of revenge, even over small things.....this girl refused and threatened to break things off!....bro, as a mumu I sent the money to her to rent the place and for other things, about 400K.....

Ever since that money left my account, it's like my eyes cleared!!! I couldn't believe that instead of saving my hard earned money, I went and sent it to a girl that has cheated on me twice (or even more), lied to me, slapped me and done so many things.....but I just decided to leave everything for God, seeing as she was desperate.

The problem now is that the demands for that apartment is now becoming too much!!! The expenses just to get the place finished are such a burden on my financial and mental state...

The worst happened about two days ago, she wanted me to pay 20k. Infact I just got so tired of bills that I kinda was stalling on it, but what happened next truly shocked me. Would you believe this girl started punching me, slapping me and even tore my shirt cos of 20k. She even threatened to break my office laptop (working from home) until I sent the money, after that she left........

Now she is trying to apologize so that I will pay for bed and gas and the remaining things....my brothers, I know u will say am a fool!...I accept...I am a handsome guy, studied abroad, I just don't know why loneliness made me fall in love with such a sadistic user... My only problem is, do I pay for the bed and just finish what I started or just free the whole thing and the nearly 500K I have already spent...

Please help!

Initially, I wanted to slam you with all kinds derogatory words, but I sensed that lady is using chams on you. You're hooked and you can't escape her. She'll likely kill you, except you get a higher power to release yourself.

There's no need for too much story, you're doomed. Get saved fast on your obituary will be published soon.

You actually went for her body, now you got more than you bargained for.

Akinsoladwayne:
I have been trying to upload the remaining parts of the story but my chrome browser won't allow me.
Maybe I'd continue tomorrow.

If what you wrote is true.

You may be married to someone more than a human being o!

While there's a tendency for men to be in love with the body of women more than there personality, your husband's case is frightening.

From today, learn to discuss this with him, and look for issues to engage his attention. If he's not interested in all of these, look for a help in a counselor or a pastor to engage him.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Your story was quite long.

Very hard to blame you as well. However, you lost your driving seat quite early in your marriage.

From your explanation, you sound apologetic as well, women by nature bad or good, well trained or not don't enjoy the driving seat. If a husband can't emotionally rise to the occasion in a bad time you make things worse for the woman.

Being in the driving seat means don't go and join the PITY PARTY OF AFRICA. Never pity yourself beside a woman, they believe that position belongs to them, and you're meant to be comforting them, jealousy won't make them pity you when enter into pitiful mode as a man.

Most likely, she began her infidelity business when threw away your manly mien. Women can be funny, unpredictable and most of the time confused even about themselves.

When she refused your using the savings for your business, it may be because of what she knew or saw in your managerial ability.

You must have felt bad when she decided to go for a course and she went. Let's assume it's not for the amorous dimension. You should have been glad for her and give her all the encouragement towards her course, but I'm sure you did the opposite because she refused your using the savings earlier for your own business.

Men need to know the psychology of women before marriage, it's a bit complex than we imagine or are taught by our parents if at all the parents even mentioned anything on handling your spouse.

Take care of your daughter and if she's not married to anyone else, assist her if she ask for it. I'm not sure you'll be able to handle even if she wants to come back. You need brace up with your emotions and be a man. Being a man is far more than just buying things for the family. Supply the emotional stuff for the woman and even without money for too long, your marriage can be safe.

If you can do that easily, you can't be financially down for too long as well.

All the best.

Pardon me if I sound too hard.

Amotolongbo:
Hmm

Not as if the private education entrepreneurs love education as such, they are just so concerned about the amount they are losing from the nonpayment of school fees by the school closure.

Na the parents of the students go still carry the burden of the cost of the mentioned preventive measures, not the school. It will eventually be added to their fees

These schools owners are already dying from the millions they used to collect from the stupid parents paying those stupid fees.

Why won't naija people learn? The most painful part of the story is that they labour more than legit business where their money will be safe. Please, do simple legit business. There are simple business, even in this lockdown. With those money you're gambling with, start an international business right from your room with all the support behind you to succeed.

If you're serious, send your WhatsApp number to my signature below and get the gist of it.

stupidity:
This bursty lady I invited to come chill, we gist normal, saw some movies and went to bed but first she showered and I did too: we were in bed sleeping when I felt someone rushed me with speed and grab hold of my trophy because I sleep naqed. Before I could realize what was going on, she glued her mouth to mine and almost sucked out my soul.

I had to struggle to break free and run out of the bedroom. I’m in a separate room toilet right now. Hiding naqed because I wasn’t putting any clothes on.

I can hear her calling out and looking for me because she cant find me.

She’s too big for me.

Please pray for me!! I’m scared. Have been praying for sun rise so I can call neighbors to come help me beg her to leave my house. She has broken my trust.

Stupidity in action!

prepresh:
There is this guy that is very close to me, he calls me often, but has never asked me out.

I don't know his house, he doesn't know mine, he has never taken me out on a date but does more than enough for me.

What should I do? Because other suitors are coming and I like him.

Except you're gold digger too, don't pick his calls, stop accepting his gifts.

When he has opportunity to meet with you, ask him what his problem really is.

He may actually has feelings for you, but clueless on how to say it.

If you truly has feelings for him, put fingers in his mouth to talk, so that you know your next move.

If he eventually declares his feelings for you, and both of you pull it through to marriage, don't forget this fact that he's not a talker.

Women love to hear the voice of their bae, so you'll help break his silence till he becomes what you want, and not start quarrelling with him about not toasting you all the time.

Wish you success.

donbachi:
Yes...run come my house.

Nobody likes what you're going through, however you need wisdom! Learn all you can, while your travails last, trust me, it won't be forever.

You're being prepared to be married to a greater man that your aunty will be ashamed to stand beside when it happens later.

More importantly, your understanding and state of mind will determine how you'll be able to cope.

Your age now, is also critical, you're close than before to your liberation.

Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men

This life can be funny I tell you. It has to be understood. Here you're having a woman craving her husband to do things without her! Many are crying for not being carried along in decision making. Chineke!

Well, when it gets too much, a woman is put off again. You came into his life by divine arrangements, but majority of the people don't reckon with divinity and that's the problem. You're God-sent into his life.

When you understand this, your stress is reduced. Then, you can watch out for the reason of this overdepende on you. Make sure you never did any love charm prior to your wedding because I don't trust Nigerians.

Thank God for his life and pray against fear of the unknown in his life. It's no joke. Let me ask you, on business and bedroom matters, does he seek your consent to take decisions? This might begin to open up the issues, I hope you understand my intent in asking that question. How good is he in the oza room?

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

]

Check out the likes in the comments and follow the trend. I wanted to add my voice to the encouragement but on 2nd thought, I felt that I should leave you alone.

You can damn the funny tradition, but do you have the spiritual power to do so? Are you born again and solid in your understanding of who you are even if you're born again?

Even after you've investigated from your village if you're related or not, except you're from a village of 200 people and you're not related, you can only ignore the tradition If you have the spiritual power to do so.

If you don't have the power, just abandon your village after cutting off with that girl, and start your life afresh.

OsmanH163:
"Conceal my identity please* Please how do I stop squirting. I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable after squirting because of how my boyfriend reacts.




After the whole sex which he would literary want me to squirt he will say stuffs like make sure u wash the blanket, wash pillows cases , wash Bedsheets and all I obviously don't have a problem with that.

My problem is when he makes it mandatory that I don't give to a dry cleaner I should wash them myself and am tired of washing coz those bedsheets are f***king heavy. Please give me advise on how to stop squirting.




I can't go through around of sex without squirting 3 to 4 times U have no idea what it means to spill squirt and start thinking oh Lord another heap of bedsheets, he makes me feel very bad when I squirt it even in the middle of sex he will just stop and get angry that I mess up the entire bed."




I'll immediately get dried even with how slippery I feel. The last arguments we had he drop me off at my place and decided to kiss me, one thing lead to the other he touched me down..READ MORE...

He's ignorant of what that means, simple! That's what millions of men and women are looking forward to get during their show! So, it's mere ignorance on his part. In the alternative, he's just selfish to mind that you too deserve an enjoyment of the act, and that's the high point of the satisfaction for a woman.

So, going forward, get him educated by explaining what that means to him. If he understands this explanation, he'll be excited about it and he'll even be the one washing the bedsheets after your acts.

He should be excited seeing you happy after the sessions.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Except this piece is your attempt at writing short stories, you seem to be heading for troubles even if she agrees to carry the burden of the wedding you're forcing her to carry.

Before your so called expensive traditional wedding, did both of you sit down to discuss how to fund this wedding?

This is the mistake most of us used to make. How on earth you left this crucial issue undiscussed?

It is also very clear that both of your are not matured enough for marriage! We always equate marriage with wedding. What a calamity we build for ourselves. Hope I'm not sounding too hard on you both.

Also, are you serious that her wedding gown is yet to be sewed 3weeks to the wedding ceremony?

Like someone advised here, must you go to church if you don't have money for church wedding?

The reason you even mentioned for asking her to shoulder the part of the wedding expenses is too dangerous. Her salary! So, it means both of you will begin to share bills as soon as you marry? Eeyah, you are looking for high blood pressure too early in marriage.

3weeks to wedding, you still need a solid marriage counselling, I'm so sure you never got anyone towards this lifetime business you're about stepping into.

My prayer for you is that you'll grow up in the next 3weeks to be a man that a husband is meant to be, as a matter of fact, a husband must be a leader.

If your story is true, go fast and look for her before both of you emabarases your parents and families before its too late.
Swallow your pride, find a way to open up discussion and resolved on how she will support you in the expenses and mean it from your heart.