Thanks to y'all that understood me. Thanks for the healthy advice. Peace, mwah!

They are his clothes. He employed her to take care of his dad and other things. So why would see something that belongs to ur employers and leave it under the rain because his gf spreads it. If I were my guy that put those clothes on the wire, she would remove. If I help him spread or help with his laundry and may be I go back to my home. He would come back from work and met his clothes soaked on the lines. I would take them if I were living there, or if I m around. I don't need anybody to do that. But see as there were other things on the lines, she removed them and left her employers clothes on d lines cuz I did the laundry, that shows no courtesy. I don't want her to serve me, u all should not take it wrongly. I have respected her, greeted her, but when someone does stuff like this, I shows no respect or courtesy for her employer and what concerns him.

BUTCHCASSIDY:


Question: So when you and your husband move out of the house and get your place, who will be picking his clothes from the line?

They are his clothes. He employed her to take care of his dad and other things. So why would see something that belongs to ur employers and leave it under the rain because his gf spreads it. If I were my guy that put those clothes on the wire, she would remove. If I help him spread or help with his laundry and may be I go back to my home. He would come back from work and met his clothes soaked on the lines. I would take them if I were living there, or if I m around. I don't need anybody to do that. But see as there were other things on the lines, she removed them and left her employers clothes on d lines cuz I did the laundry, that shows no courtesy. I don't want her to serve me, u al should take it wrongly.

Itsmenyou:
You live there? I'm sure the maid is just appalled by the foundation you're laying. You could at least let him marry you properly before you proceed to moving in with your boyfriend in his brother's house. Maybe then she'll accord you respect, as a family member. PS: I hope you guys get married. Congrats in advance are in order, I suppose.

I don't live there. The laundry wey I do sef was my guys own. Not my dresses. I only visit.

I don't live there, I only visit. I hv been visiting for seven years. She was employed this year. I have never had any issue with family, friend or helps. She was employed by both brothers to help with the father and do little things around the home. She should respect their visitors and treat her work accordingly. Simple. My guy scolded her for doing something wrong, the next time I visited I greeted her she didn't reply. I didn't say anything, it wasn't an issue. She spoke to me rudely after then, she transferred aggression cuz she knew she could not do anything about my guy scolding her. I didn't reply her, I spoke to my guy, even his dad n bro told her she was rude. And since that moment, she has been disrespectful when she can. She greets every body that walks in to that house, she doesn't refer to anybody on a first name basis, wether visitor or family. So I know her attitude to me is disrespectful. My guy spoke to her about it she hasn't burged, if what I Complained about was outrageous he won't talk to her. Even he knows she is disrespectful intentionally. I work as a secretary, I don't refer to my boss's visitors on a first name basis until I m told otherwise. I understand my office and I respect it. Even if a visitor does something unruly today doesn't mean I would see him tomorrow and call him John instead of Mr John. I m not delusional. Like I said before my sales girl is almost two years with me, security at home is three years. I know how to treat people. Thanks for y'all that adviced with out being insulting and calling me wicked. I can't say every single thing that's happens, i know I m not a wife yet, what I won't tolerate in marriage I won't tolerate in my relationship. Thanks.

DUOz:



Ok great. You said for urself that d previous made was sacked by ur guy bcuz he employed her. Dast exactly wats happening now dis time its his brother wu employed her so he has d say here. Its not dat ur guy is weak its just dat its not his card to play. look at it from dat angle

He was told by the elder bro to sack the maid. He didn't just sack her.

I don't live there, I only visit. I hv been visiting for seven years. She was employed this year. I have never had any issue with family, friend or helps. She was employed by both brothers to help with the father and do little things around the home. She should respect their visitors and treat her work accordingly. Simple. My guy scolded her for doing something wrong, the next time I visited I greeted her she didn't reply. I didn't say anything, it wasn't an issue. She spoke to me rudely after then, she transferred aggression cuz she knew she could not do anything about my guy scolding her. I didn't reply her, I spoke to my guy, even his dad n bro told her she was rude. And since that moment, she has been disrespectful when she can. She greets every body that walks in to that house, she doesn't refer to anybody on a first name basis, wether visitor or family. So I know her attitude to me is disrespectful. My guy spoke to her about it she hasn't burged, if what I Complained about was outrageous he won't talk to her. Even he knows she is disrespectful intentionally. I work as a secretary, I don't refer to my boss's visitors on a first name basis until I m told otherwise. I understand my office and I respect it. Even if I visitor does something unruly today doesn't mean I would see him tomorrow and call him John instead of Mr John. I m not delusional. Thanks for y'all that adviced with out being insulting

shogz89:
you are just assuming.. Do you know the age of the op and the maid.. The maid could be older than the op, but just because she's a maid she wants aunty or madam added to her name and she's not am authority above the maid. Or does she pay her salary.. She's a girl friend a visitor in that house as far as am concerned until she's married

Please, we all work in lenard places. If u start working in a place and you see other old / younger collegues call a person Mrs or miss, you respect your self and call the person miss or Mrs until told otherwise. It doesn't matter who is older. I only visit, I would move in after marriage. I have never asked her to buy anything for me or sent her on an errand. What I won't tolerate in my marriage, I won't tolerate now. I have been with my sales girl for two years. Been with a security guy for three years. I know for a fact that I am not wicked or devilish like you people make it seem. I didn't say I need her to do anything specifically me outside her work duties. But courtesy is needed.

tonyobj:
Why come to lament on Nairaland? Show him how serious you are by packing all your belongings out of his house. Must he be the one you get married to? Don't you have a family of your own in the same state? Any time he wants to see you then he should come look for you at your place.

I don't live in the house dear. I only visit. Thanks for your advice.

zaragal:
My dear calm down...ignore dat maid till u become a wife...u are not a wife until u are wife..one day to the wedding can make u single again....if u take dis harsh and things turn badly and ur boyfriend throw u out for his family nko??...Btw why are u leaving with ur boyfriend....Wat is the essence of getting married wen u are already leaving together ....

One good advice good to ur own house and leave ur boyfriend's house and go stay in urs @least get some respect and value before ur marriage...no let man see u too much, familiarity breeds contempt...respect dey say is sweet from afar if u were coming and going and respecting ur self and minding ur business who will have tym for all dis cow shit dem don c u too much .....extend the wedding if possible till u guys cb plan enough if nah "mini flat or self contain" una fit afford for 2 years...jst pay the rent...the money is so worth ur peace my dear believe me...if u marry in dat house..with or without the maid...u will come to nairaland to ask for another advice I bet my one million dollar on dis

God forbid I enter man house wey even him "mama" still dey leave not to talk to extended family..no family from me no family from him...simple..all come to visit and go...my mama get her house...him mama and extended family get their houses.

I don't live in the house, I only visit. What I expect of her are not outside her duties. I have never asked her to buy me anything or sent her on an errand. The least u can do as an employee is to treat people / visitors with respect and show courtesy. It doesn't matter who is who. Or who scolded you before. She was just employed this year. I have been going to that house for 7 years. I m moving in months, change won't come cuz I m suddenly Mrs. I know what I m sayin plssszz. Thanks for all the advice.

DUOz:
Am no expert in advises but I'll try to give you a piece. The thing is everyone has one or two crisis going on in their life at one point or the other. The worse thing you can do right now is to give in to violence and don't think you're the only one in it blive me dere are people with worse situations. Ok here's the thing, I'll advise you to meet dat your fiance's brother. Sit his sorry ass down and talk to him. Don't look physically tensed or wanting to start a fight just talk to him in a very low and calm tone and let him know u're serious. And let ur fiance know about this. Please and please don't confront this maid, she's obviously not normal. I want you to do this maturely. When ure done talking wit his brother am sure he'll do something about it. But if he doesn't try to talk to the maid. You see communication is the solution. Talking is not communication please there is a difference. You see you have to understand each other to communicate. Sit d maid down in private or preferably with the whole house. Let her know ure not a bad person and you have no bad intentions towards her. Tell her you aint her enemy and ask her why she's always choleric and disrespectful. I'll prefer this to be done in front of the whole house in this case she can't wave you off and if she proves stubborn it will only prove your point that she is stubborn indeed. So please try your best to bury this hatchet the right way. Oh and please I need a feedback when ure done. Thank you. Goodluck

Thank you for understanding. Thank you. The thing is this, I m marrying my man not his bro. I should talk to my man and he is supposed to be enough to effect change. His brother's wife doesn't met my guy. She talks to her husband. I have spoken to my guy he has spoken to the maid, she did not adjust. It goes to show she is disrespectful to him. Simple. If my case were stupid like some people here think, my guy won't talk to the maid. I m rational, if u go and talk to his bro n then she changes it is obvious my guy has no say. And that is weak. He is my husband not his bro. In the future I can't be going to his bro. Thanks for understanding.

Nihilist:


As in, very dumb broad...

Looking to command a maid she did not hire. Demanding respect from a person she does not pay. Stupidity comes in different flavours but the OP is at least 3 in one.

If u read to understand then u would know I am not the stupid one. I am moving into that house in months, and a maid employed by my fiancee would disrespect me. I did not say i command anybody, I have never sent her to do anything for me, never. But if she can't even be polite enough to greet because she was scolded once then she is disrespectful. Simple. It's her office, she should treat visitors with respect. She greats every other person, are they commanding respect? After all they are visitors too. Do they pay her? I have been in my relationship for years. If i can't take it in marriage I won't take it now. Understand ne Mr flavour.

[quote author=sonofananimal post=39857588][/quote]

To God who made me. I have never told her to do anything for me. I have not asked to buy a single thing for me. So when I say I don't send her on errands I mean it. What I m talking about her is what she was employed to do for the house hold. She is supposed to be decent and respectful to everybody, she isn't. She doesn't call any visitor by name. She doesn't call even the youngest sister by name. I m not delusional please. We are all adults here. Its her office but some one else's home, she doesn't know the difference.

sonofananimal:
thank you!

I didn't say I send her on errands oo. Some people can't read sha.

melodytoda:
Most respondents have assumed that the OP lives with her guy. This is not so. In her post, she said they will be living there after they are married not that they are living there now. Maybe the fiance is, but she is not at the moment. For those that this erroneous assumption has informed your response, you may wish to readdress the issue now that you have the correct information.

That being said, I like the comment by one poster about the elder brother addressing the issue. The thing is that once this lady is married, she becomes family and the maid becomes more difficult to ignore especially if the house shares more than a staircase and backyard sometimes.

I feel the issue should be addressed. A maid is employed to work and should be respectful to all in the discharge of her duties including even visitors. She cannot choose who to respect or not. The fiancee stopped paying part of her salary due to the disrespect which means he was paying previously. So posters who have said the OP deserves no respect cos she is not paying should take note that even when the fiance was paying, that did not help the issue. The issue must be confronted in earnest

Wow. Thank you very much. You have understood me more than my boyfriend sef. People don't read to understand anymore. Thanks. Please advice me, I want your beautiful advice.

JumpingChicken:


Well my advise to you is that you should ignore the maid and do your own things without her help. Wash ur clothes and take them in yourself. Why do you need her services anyway? Are you pregnant? Do you have children? Are you a cripple? Are you sick?


You don't pay her salary
You don't pay the Nepa bills
You don't contribute to your husband house being buit.
And if am not wrong from ur post you don't have anything you contribute to your boy friend's life other fuvcking him and cooking and washing his clothes. And you sound so authoritative about a house maid you probably met there.

Rubbish!

What you said is rubbish. I m talking about a place I m moving into in months. I relationship I have been in for five years. A maid that was employed this year. I can take his clothes in please. But I come back late at night and see his clothes were still on line, some on the floor. And she brought in clothes for other members of the house. And u think I m saying rubbish. Meanwhile he employed her. That is disrespectful in every sense.

funkyglitz:
After reading at first I went bk to re read and I noticed u guys r nt married yet and u hv alreadi resumed ur duty as a housewife...dnt misundastnd mi buh I guess d maid have evry right to disrespect u cos u r doing dat to ursef by leaving in d house wen u guys r still planning to get married #SMH#

I don't live in the house. I visit.

xp17:
@ima30, i think the problem here is first impression. Maybe the first time you saw or was introduced to the maid, your body language was like "this one na COMMON maid" . you may have forgotten, but she'll never. If that be the case, try to drop your ego and initiate a greeting or a conversation with her . your mind now be like " how will i first greet ORDINARY maid".

The only solution here is to make her like you, since you can't kick her out. Everything was going on well just before your arrival, anything otherwise will be your fault, because the only change here is you. If she leaves because of you, be ready to assume the duty of the new maid, after all you re the new wife and has to prove something to the family.

If your ego is so strong that you think she isn't in your class, just kindly ingnore her and focus on your marriage. The problem with most folks that live in 3rd world countries is, they see their employees as something inferior. One thing you have to know is, she might be a maid in your house, but she works for a living and has earn the right to be respected.

Respect is reciprocal, you get what you earn.

Please she was employed this year. I have been in my relationship for five years. I m not a baby. Her attitude changed because she was scolded by my guy for doing something wrong. The house is being run by my guy and his brother. They both have their responsibilties. They employed her to help with their dad and do other errands around the home. She should be respectful to every visitor. But she isn't. She doesn't call any vistor by their name not even their youngest sister. I m talking about disrespect here. I m not delusional. I have a shop, I have had one sales girl for almost two years. So I know how to treat people and employees. Pls. Y'all 've taken this wrongly. There has been maids before her, disrespect has never been a problem. If I tolerate it now, is it when we marry there would be sudden change. I know what I m saying pls. Thanks for the good advice.

F22RAPTOR:
Op is a narcissistic, controlling and arrogant individual. You have a medical condition called NPD (google it). Respect is reciprocal, you want to get what you didn't give because she is a maid? wait, or are you simply being jealous and insecure? abeg get sense and leave the poor maid alone joor.

I m not any of those things. I gave her respect. I was nice, recharged her phone, gave her money to change her hair. But some people are rude and disrespectful. Every body even the father complains, she does the most unbearable things. I shall just filter for good advice.

noblegrex:
I wonder ooo.maybe she's even thinking she's more beutiful, taller or even older than he even better still,be in her position and she's sending her on an errand na wa oooo!!

I said she was hired her this year. I have been with him for seven years.

Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with d rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house. His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't burge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldnt obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife n she takes care of his dad. This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I m not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home. I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all leave together he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother n my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack d girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped cuz she was rude to him n me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills n does other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen. How do I get her gone? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother n his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

Pls can I Use chicken without the skin. I plan to buy a kilo and use it in place of anything meat during the 13days. I m just gonna steam it with lil salt n seasoning. Cool?

TouchstoneNgr:


Mfc is Melamine Faced Chipboard. It's a stronger version of particle board with melamine.
Mdf is not as strong as Mfc, although a lot of people will suggest otherwise.

Mdf is dust particles compressed together with melamine face. It's easier for furniture makers that used hand tools to cut the board into smaller sizes with their hand saw.

We use Mfc for every part of the wardrobe.

Thanks for your reply, please do u have a contact person in port harcourt, a phone number or office address, it seems u r based in abuja. Thanks.

TouchstoneNgr:
Kitchen cabinet in Dark cordoba olive glossy laminate. We use Mfc boards.

Please why mfc over particle board or mdf? Also do u use mfc for every part of the cabinet/wardrobe or just d carcasses or maybe doors. Thanks.

MRBrownJ:


sadly, you are already failing... for so many reasons:

- you dont BELIEVE in your man and/or TRUST him
see how you have doubts about this man you supposedly want to marry

- you are ready to cheat
how can you even contemplate cheating on him and in the same sentence say you "love the guy"?!

- you are desperate
here you are taking of your age bla bla bla as if this was relevant

- you dont think straight
you aint got a job, you guys have no money, yet want to spend the little he will get, to do some fancy wedding.... and then get right back to square one ( aka BROKE) after the wedding. whats the point here?!

- you are confused
sit down, and ask yourself "what do you really want?" it seems you have no idea and just want to marry... anybody!

Well, I really just want people's advice, I don't want to reply everyone. I have to reply yours humbly. Yes, I may not have so much trust in him right now for so many reasons in our rship I didn't put in my post. I do trust and believe in him enough to marry him sure. Even that at times is not enough, I need a little more sense, I m working with time here. Two, I do not want to cheat on him, I mentioned that I don't want to be in two rships. The idea came up from ppl, I spoke to. Three, I think very straight. You cant tell how much money he is expecting to know if it is enough for a fancy wedding in the first place, we all r in the labour market, I mentioned that I would run a collective marriage. Thats to show, I m not a careless woman that wants to spend all her man's money. Anyone who uses their entire finances for a fancy wedding is stupid. Lastly, yes, I m a bit confused not totally, I want him but sometimes we need more advice and understanding, that's is why I m here to find a bit of clarity. Taking a bit of everything from the advice I get to guide me, even yours. Thanks.

Hello ppl. I met him when I was 18yrs in my second year in the university. He was 21 and had just graduated. That was back in 2008. We were friends till 2010 that was when we become official. So I have known him has a person for almost 7years. But we have been lovers for 5years. We have had our good n bad times n all what not.. He is now 28 and I would be 25 in October. The thing here is the financial part. He has made me understand that the only reason we are not married is the fact that he doesn't have the money. He works, I m yet to find a job. If, I had a job I know living as a couple would be easy, cuz it would be a collective effort. He is saying I should gv him tops two years. But if he gets some money their family is expecting, he would use his share for our wedding. D money hasn't come for over a year now. I don't know what to do. My family is telling me to see how I can breed a relationship on the low just incase he is not forthcoming by next year. I dint know how to date two ppl. I really can't wait two years. He is young at 28 but I can't give excuses at my detriment. I m on d big side and always looked older than my age. Plus there is the thing with never knowing the heart of a person. He can wake up on day and be less interested and vice versa. My mom says I should sit down with him, talk thing's through and gv ourselves milestones.. I do love him n he loves me too. 5yrs is a long time, I even feel the love wearing thin. Please men n women, honest advice. Some guys may be in my bf's shoes, maybe u can speak from that perspective. Thanks.

I found their number online, and I called. And they said they did not see my application. That they contacted every application they got. I told the lady I got a confirmation mail. She asked for my name. She said she did not see it. Well, if that the case, maybe others that applied and weren't called should contact their customer care. 08034021844. This might cause them to maybe do another interview.

Uchboggy:
My brother I applied for on LinkedIn has just been called for interview on Wednesday. Who else is in his shoes and who knows what to expect?

My God. I don't wanna believe this oo. R u sure it is for the same position. God dey sha. I don't know anyone that works there. I would have asked fingers still crossed.

Has anyone who applied been contacted yet?

Valmesk:
PLI-Professional Learning Indicator,PI-Predictive Index,they are all online assessment used by Maerskline,in PLI,you are meant to answer 50 questions in 12 minutes while in PI you are to select adjectives that best describes you but not timed,wishing you the best.

Help us with samples, especially the Pli, thanks.

UdohOby:

Please how did you apply? Have tried to apply too, but couldn't. Which website did u use?

I found the job vacancy on myjobmag.com. There was a link after the vacancy post. That's what I used. The link redirected me to their job application site. Filled in my details and submitted.