₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
You're getting more, at more stress, less peace and sacrificing a bonded family unit.

I believe in bonded families. Real love and soul mates.

While not impossible to get in a polygamous unit, it is rarer.

So why risk it, if all that advantage that comes with polygamy won't be worth it in the long run?

Bottom line is that you would choose monogamy over polygamy, am I right?

cococandy:
actually, I would.
If for nothing but for the sheer novelty of experiencing it.

monogamy is just more sensible.
Remove sense and give way to whims and caprices, the more men, the multiple ratio of what only one man can offer in marriage.

Why is monogamy more sensible when you can get more out of polygamy as you say? Are you not contradicting yourself?

LadyFiona:
Yes I will like to be married to more than one husband, each serving different purpose. No time for jack of all trade and master of none bull crap.

Explain the bold in much detail.

Nonso23:
I would rather we had a plethora of opinions to sample instead of just one.

cc: Ishilove, Lalasticlala, Seun abeg front page o! We need this poll.

You have done the needful.

Patiently waiting.

Nonso23:
They aren't hiding per se. They are bidding their time or selecting their battles meticulously.

They don't want to take more than one husband
They don't want us to take more than one wife

Which kind badbelle be this

Where is Cococandy?

Nonso23:
Good question.
No sarcastic replies abeg. Just practicable and realistic responses.

#Women over to you oo!

See them trying to hide.

mecuzee:
Yes and no

Elaborate.

Any ladies in the house who would like to practice polyandry (having multiple husbands)?

We all know that quite a number of men dream of polygyny (multiple wives).

(...) Polygyny is much more common than polyandry because evolutionarily, the benefits of polygyny for men are much higher than the benefits of polyandry for women. This is true for reasons outlined in my previous post; in short, men benefit reproductively much more than women do from having multiple partners, and so they are relatively psychologically adapted to seek novel mates. By the same token, the evolutionary costs of polyandry for men are much higher than the costs of polygyny for women. If you're a man whose co-husband has impregnated your shared wife, then you have to wait a long time (at least nine months of gestation, and probably years of lactation as well) before you get another shot at reproduction. But if you're a woman whose co-wife has been impregnated by your shared husband, you can still get pregnant right away. You'll have to share your husband's parental investment with your co-wife, but at least you'll be able to reproduce. And being the co-wife of a wealthy, high status, highly desirable man may well be a better option for you than being the only wife of a less impressive husband. (...)

Another contrast between polygyny and polyandry is pointed out by Miriam Zeitzen in her book Polygamy: whereas men compete intensely to attract multiple wives, and male status is positively correlated with number of wives, women don't compete to acquire multiple husbands, and female status is not related to number of husbands. Polyandrous marriages in fact tend to be initiated by the co-husbands, who are nearly always brothers, for economic and reproductive reasons (e.g. to avoid partitioning scarce arable land, or because the brothers can't find wives individually). Zeitzen also notes that these marriages involve a relatively large workload for the wife, in terms of the services--both domestic and sexual--that she is expected to provide for her husbands. (Many Western men, who might imagine that providing sexual services for multiple spouses would be a nice responsibility, will be surprised to learn that polyandrously-married women tend to find it onerous).

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201108/are-people-naturally-polygamous-0


To the women in the house:
Which one of you would like to be married to more than one man?

So sorry for your loss, sincerely.

Rajjah:
can u pls tell me y u said that above?

Because it takes two to tango.

Rajjah:
well cos mothers re the sole home builders.

With this attitude, you are very unlikely to have a happy home yourself but I wish you the best of luck.

I wouldn't say I believe in reincarnation but it could be true. I don't know.
I believe that after death we either enter a different dimension of being or we take on a different form on this earth. Either way, I do not believe that death is ultimate and the end of it all.

OP, is it the right section to ask this question?

Rajjah, why do you only ask mothers and not fathers?

cococandy:
Or women give and men receive. It depends on the style abi? I'm just kidding.

I agree that under true circumstances, nobody is passive like you said. Still the woman has more control over reproduction than the man does. So if we are to say anyone is passive, it would be the man.
Isn't this topic revolving around reproduction?

You are naughty.

Eddygourdo:
I frown a lot as people frequently tell me, though I wonder whether am supposed to be laughing and walking along to Street with nothing apparently funny, I enter a gathering and apparently everybody knows themselves but nobody knows me, I can't count 10good friendsI have, I am always indoors but if I go out the world appears too big and busy to notice me. Yes those who relate with me tend to love me and wanna be with me, but somehow I rebuff them by not seriously putting effort. I think of my wedding and wonder where I will rent a crowd to attend it since am a social pariah, my family are fed up of my friendless life. I am fed up of it, but can't help it as am not a church going person(I believe in my personal convictions not my pastor said) so church in ruled out, online is filled with thieving women and men. I recently lost my job and moved back to lagos to restart life again hopefully as an engineer in any private firm, the job loss doesn't hurt as much as living in a world that appears to large to notice me and being weird that when am noticed and loved I show no interest or lose it fast. am I an autistic adult?

Why is it not enough?

cococandy:
Which makes the man even more passive in the reproduction process.

Under good circumstances nobody is passive. Under less fortunate circumstances there is nothing to be enjoyed for one of them or even both.
However, it is true that women receive and men give.

BuddhaPalm:
Yeah, and her concealed ovulation is her ultimate card. Her Joker.

It is now known that women tend to dress 'sluttier' (lol is that a word) and to prefer men with very masculine attributes, more, during ovulation.

True.

Nigerian parents destroying their children's lives since 950 BC.

coolebux:
And you made the young man a motherf*cker

---

LordReed:
As BuddhaPalm quite rightly pointed out how can you not see how conceited your response is? It is this type of conceited thinking I was aiming for with this thread.
It is this kind of thinking that influences the thought behind blaming women for not birthing boys on demand.

Tell me does the man choose which particular sperm wins out? So how he not also a "passive" player in the game? If a woman has sex with more than one man can any of the men beat his chest and say for sure that it would be his sperm that wins out?

If you choose to call the process of one sperm winning out a rat race that's you trying to put words in my mouth. As I pointed out in a post the process is an interplay between strength, motility and position of the sperm. The number of sperm in there should increase the chance that a "superior" specimen will merge with the ovum or why do you think sperm count matters in fertility?

"Natural status is to select, choose, and impregnate" really? So the woman cannot choose abi? E don turn point and kill for man ba? LOL!

The "nature makes man polygamous" falls flat on its face simply because it exposes this conceit that it the exclusive right of men to choose multiple partners.

I am claiming creative license in my use of the term. It was meant to convey the idea that passing on genes is a form of immortality.

You forgot to mention the right timing or in other words "the fertile window". A woman is only fertile for a few days each month. She therefore has an influence over who to get pregnant for. I didn't think of it initially.

5minsmadness:

Anything oyinbo man talk we must believe


Did they do paternity test for the child? Did they actually allow the woman be a cumbucket for all the men to see whose sperm won out? How many women participated in the study?




Na wa for some people sha

safarigirl:
it is people who train their kids to believe that marriage is the be all Ndd end all of every woman that go about beghing people to marry their daughters. For what? Can you gain eternal life with marriage? Immortality is gotten by your works on earth, not by the husband or kids you left behind.

Better to be single and happy than married and depressed. If you force marriage, you will end up unhappy or dead so I will never understand why anyone rates marriage as an achievement.

If I do have a daughter, best believe I won't be training her to be suitor-searching, i'll raise her to seek knowledge and happiness. If a suitor comes along, fine.....and when I said I stand more to gain from a single daughter, it's you who assumed I meant that in a materialistic way, so your mindset is programmed that way.[/b]

Anyone who is anti-bride price should either stay single or go to Ghana where the women marry the men

Are you kidding? Didn't you say you would like the suitor to pay you back everything you invested in your daughter's education?
I asked you a simple question, no need for this long epistle and denial. What is it you want as bride price that should return your investment in her education, kindness and care?

The husband to himself. He should have killed them immediately.

Seventeen:
Charity begins at home, i know OP has sisters and female cousins, and i hope they were all given out or will be given out for 15 shekels of silver (lol... By d way, ds really cracks me up just typing it). If not he can come back and tell us when he has successfully changed his family's mindset, then maybe our own families will follow suit...... Lol..(still chuckling @ 15 shekels of silver)
Mnwhile
I hope OP keeps all the zillions of other laws in deuteronomy alone talk more of d whole old testament.... Hnmmmmm, odikwa risky

Given out or sold out?

I respect these people.

crackhaus:
Dude, this here writeup makes absolutely no sense...can't believe anyone would want to argue this with you in the first place.

The only reason they say men are polygamous by nature is to convey the message that a man can mate, marry, and shoot his seed in as many women as he wants and get them pregnant at the same time.
A woman on the other can't be said to be polygamous by nature just for the simple fact that she can't carry multiple children for multiple partners at the same time - at best, she must wait at least a year to birth a child for husband number 2, another year for husband number 3, and so on and so forth.

God help her if each of these men want at least two kids from her, she's gonna start looking 60years old at just 30 to pull that off.



And what the hell is biological immortality BTW?
The need to throw around fancy words I presume...

And that is exactly why polygyny is more common than polyandry. It is that simple. That does not mean that some women would not like to have different men, it just explains why polygyny is more practicable as compared to polyandry.

safarigirl:
I can never give my daughter out to any man complaining of bride price. If you can't afford it,.then you can't afford a family.

I will never marry my daughter off to such a man. If you have to bytch and moan before you can do what has been done for ages then you're not man eenough. Did the 98% of guys that can't afford bride price think they'll abolish it when they want to marry?

People should save for marriage early on. When you start dating, you should start saving for a marriage, or you put off dating till you can afford one. Don't tell me you can't afford it when it's time. What have you been doing since? Abi no be your age mates dey marry? Are they superhuman? That's like knowing you have an exam, but you choose.to not read hoping the exam will be scrapped.

Lack of preparation is not an excuse. If you know in the next 3 years, you can't afford a marriage if it comes up, then don't date.

I have many terrible stories about men who can't afford families and still get married. None of them is encouraging, so I loathe this entire idea of skipping bride price. In fact, if I can, I would make sure the man pays me every dime I spent on her education cuz I know I would stand to gain more from a single working class daughter than a married one.

First of all, have a daughter, raise her and then see how many suitors she will have. I have seen families begging men to take their daughters for free. Sad enough! Secondly, why do you think you have to gain anything materialistic from having children?

Raalsalghul:
Exactly what I said in my previous comment: some people confuse realism for pessimism.

And others pessimism for realism.

buygala:
Obviously, it isn't only men who put up an impression to get what they want

He forms Shell staff... She forms Redemption camp Virgin

He forms sex-ninja with Viagra and other Burantashis. .... She forms good girl with a tight vagina coated with alum coupled with all those fake "Baby it's paining me" cries during sex

He makes a deliberate effort to stop snoring and farting loudly in his sleep so as to impress her.... She downgrades from Brazilian wig to Togolese wig to impress him

He wears new boxers whenever she is visiting so that she won't think he is 'dirty'..... She takes the smallest fish in the stew so that he will know she can 'manage' very well


POINT IS... IN RELATIONSHIPS, BOTH PARTIES TRY TO IMPRESS EACH OTHER.... WHY SINGLE OUT THE LADIES?

Because women are usually more eager to get married.