₦airaland Forum

Bola146:
That means you can't be compatible, courtship should be free with each other, both should be in one Accord, that is why trust and transparency are needed.

There is nothing like incompatibility, humans just need basic understand and know what they want.
They are free to make decision they want...and should also know their consequences.

SharonLoveth:
GRANDPA is that all?

Yes baby(granddaughter)..you can go.

SharonLoveth:
Disrespectful!!! Ehyah Grandpa RIP to you In Advance.. Bye

Probably you are older than me, but because my words and insights elude you, you now think i am your grandpa's age.
I am not your grandpa sorry to disappoint you, probably he is dead and gone, may his gentle soul RIP.
i was only trying to say you where disrespectful to other religions and people who are not christains in your previous comment and not to me.
You dont owe me anything not even respect but you owe yourself 'understanding', bc understanding makes or mar a man.

Now you understand....you are welcome!

Amanee:
Yes as humans we are often set in our ways

But tell yourself the truth, you don't love that lady because the natural side effect of love is possessiveness. You cannot love something all encompassingly and leave it to uncertainty.

You simply don't love her enough.

Oh wow, so you think 'to love is to possess'?
Thats the mistake many of you makes.

Secondly you are not in my mind to show the quantity and quality of love i have or can give! And what quantity am i to give to make the love enough?

SharonLoveth:
Is there any hatred speech therein?

You dont see it because, you lack insight and disrespectful.

SarkinYarki:
The truth is that good christians are more likely to be BILLIONAIREs than any other sub group..most of the world richest men have always been good Christians but the media hides this from you

I wanted to say u should replace 'christains' to 'people' but then there are "assumed" bad people that are also billionaires, just like there are other people from different religions and unbelievers who rake in billions too.
So nothing is anything.

Vanderandrew:
Can a genuine Christian become a billionaire without cutting corners, engaging in shady deals, following the world system, selling his soul to the devil for wealth.

Remember we are not of this world and we must not crave for the things of this world. Even Satan tried to tempt Jesus saying if He bow to him, he will give him the kingdoms of this world but Jesus replied Satan with it is written, thou shalt worship the Lord your God and only him shall thou serve. (Luke 4:

We may claim there are Christian billionaires but you don't know how they got their wealth, you don't know whether they cut corners or engage in shady deals, corruption, cocaine business, kidnapping to acquire their wealth.

The "love" of money is the root of evil and not money itself.
Money is tired! Been blamed, abused, accused and still misunderstood.
being a christain/religious doesnt equate to poverty, with money one can do a whole lot of good n vice versa.
There should be balance.

I am tired, i am tired of the things we humans know, it seems we already know everything and don't want to add another kobo of knowledge, we already have conceived/stated rules for everything and deviating from it, is frowned upon.
Change don't necesirily means negative, lots of good can come up in it.
Adhering to dogmatic rules sometimes leads to prejudice.
So i don't fancy the conventional way of relationship that involves entitlement and restriction. I wanted to show her a new way to love, whereby, 'to love', gives one happiness which is suppose to be the core value of human existance and living.
It also have disadvantage which is uncertainity, freedom, and individualism.

How is loving for happiness and moments, instead of other values and promising a long time future that may or may not happen.

How is this manuipulation?

JUICYPINEAPPLE:
CAN WE AS WELL SAY YOU ARE DWELLING IN THE NEGATIVITY OF REALITY AND FORGETTING DUALITY (OR MORE) OF NATURE AND WHAT ABOUT THE POSITIVITY OF THE BOLDED ABOVE?

My point is you ended up not saying anything meaningful with your statement in bold which is as well an assumption.

Yes i generalised bc i was comparing both and i gave my reasons which is more ecologically viable and sound.
Our generation, the negros have more hate in them; when u compare them to caucasians, bc of history, the assumptions and negative perspective of human trade; especially the story/treatment of the slaved negros by the caucasian masters.
They feel victimized and forgot that at that time everyone participated in the trade.
Maybe us the 'survivors' in africa, our forefathers maybe the main arcietect of the exodus.
It could have been anyone.

engrchykae:
it's not true, Caucasians hate themselves,they have fought more against themselves, Romans vs Greeks, Romans vs Bavaria, Romans vs Britannia, Romans vs Gaul present day France.
Then Inquisition,ww1,Ww2
THEY WERE ONLY UNITED IN 1845 in Berlin where they were United in LOOTING AFRICA.
remove the partition of Africa, Europe will start their old french Teutonic rivalry.
Their old English french hostilities where they have to force unity upon themselves through aristocratic marriages.

"It is only a layman that thinks people fight because they hate themselves" a wise man once said that.
People dnt know why they fight, they see it as a show of superioty, survival of the fittest.
But to who?
Other people that are trying to eat,live or survive?
They fight bc 2 leaders have ego problems and they let it collide, now the grasses surfers.
So those wars where leaders of then fought where their personal problems or ego, with inherited misunderstanding.

Mariangeles:
How's an adult supposed to behave when you call him names and threaten him with common food just to get him to do chores? Would you just stand there and take such just because you don't want to be "disrespectful"?
You don't get to have your way by blackmailing people. It should not be allowed.
Not even one's biological mother should do that.

Firstly; i didnt say the mum is blackmailing or manuipulating him. I said mums use this tools to get to their children.
Secondly, i am just realizing he is a guy but same produre can be adopted to both sexes men cry n there is nothing wrong by appearing weak.
Thirdly, as the only child, who is supposed to do the chores? I am the last born, stil do most chores when i go home happily, it has made me to cook n clean up my shit even when i have people that i am older than/females companionship.
This chores means nothing, it is symbiotic association/relationship. (if they provide money, u provide energy,power and time.)

Mariangeles:
Please! He's an adult already!

He/she is an adult?

What is the next thing an adult should do? from your extensive understanding of how an adult is supposed to behave.

Mariangeles:
You have to start behaving like an adult.
You can't allow anybody to threaten and call you names because of food.
Next time she uses food to threaten you, reject that food!
Also, learn to speak up and stand your ground without being disrespectful.
Whenever she calls you names, walk away from her!
Never cry and beg like the above monicker suggested.

The above monicker knows that there is actions and conseqences and also knows that there is time for everything, strong headedness will only lead to more misunderstanding and blame game.
If she rejects her food, hope you will give her something to eat and what if the parents are petty enough to throw her out bc she feels she can take care of herself? Gbas gbos no get measure.
That been said...acting weak is not weakness, it is advantageous for survival or better still let her move out for her sanity sack.
Where your advice leads will implode in the family and cause more rift.

engrchykae:
they packaged themselves as CIVILIZED AND SANE CLIME.
but truth is that they are the scum of the Earth.
Till forever,these Caucasians see blacks as slaves.
For example,they still run the gladiator shows in the form of wrestling.
They still operate slave trade just that this time they don't kidnap you rather you are enticed to come willingly to do the slave jobs their people can't do.
They intentionally install bad leaders for you, protect the loot of your leaders and give them political assylum if you chase your leaders away.
When they have succeeded in turning your country into a shithole,you must come to the west to do slave job while....

Good perspective but all are assumptions, you are dwelling in the negativity of reality and forgetting duality(or more) of nature.
What about the positivity of the things mentioned above?
Negros are more discriminatory than caucasians, theirs is even controlled by hate and thirst for vengence which makes it worst.

humilitypays:
Yes that's it, when unarmed civilian Igbo youth protesters were killed by very armed Nigerian soldiers and labelled as terrorists for carrying out peaceful protests, Yorubas and Hausa-Fulanis celebrated it and jubilated like they won a jackpot, when Igbos complained online, Yoruba youths attacked them and called them derogatory names to further support the killing of unarmed Igbo protesters just to please Hausa-Fulanis for political gains...but here some of those Yorubas and Hausa-Fulanis are showing fake pity and forming humanity just because it happened in America.

Bunch of hypocrites and deceivers deceiving themselves! God and nature + karma will judge you all!


Tribalism in Nigeria is worst than racism in The US and terrorism in MiddleEast

Everything about this post has no atom of humanity in it.
Humanity knows no religion, tribe, status or organization.
Your description is filled with sentiment, tribalistic and hatred.
It doesnt relate humanity.

I know how that feels and totally understand you.
Sometimes parents can be demanding and want to use the same method they where raised to raise their kids which they think will make the kids be like them because they assume they panned out well after the strict and disciplined life they gave them.
They tend to forget that things have changed and the life they use to know when they where kids is not the same life now.
So this is all misunderstanding.
You have to understand and respect their perspective no matter how difficult it can be (not abusive) and then try to explain your perspectives to them too. You people should have a talk.

Hints: mums uses emmotional blackmail, manipulation or sentiments to get to their children. Give them the same treatment and they will understand.

Procedure: ask her while crying, "are you truly my biological mum and still treat me like this" and watch her cry and explain her actions and how it wil benefit you.
You have to understand her, explain to her where n when u feel hurt

RuddyFusion:
The Nigerian problem is so deep-rooted that even going our separate ways may not change anything...We will just carry over our bad habits to our respective independent states.

Yes yes! Now that you are understanding, it is not a "Nigerian problem" but "humans problem" humans just tend to always give excuse instead of accepting and looking for how to right wrongs.
We will just be doing blame games.

RuddyFusion:
The Nigerian problem is so deep-rooted that even going our separate ways may not change anything...We will just carry over our bad habits to our respective independent states.

Yes yes! Now that you are understanding, it is not a "Nigerian problem" but "humans problem" humans just tend to always give excuse instead of accepting and looking for how to right wrongs.

Most people do things for the right reasons at the momemt that breds wrong actions in a long run, but they lack foresight to identify and imagine where the decision will take them.
They believe experince is the best teacher, but what about experincing things you can come out from that is not what you want as you grow older?
Experince is a good teacher but not the best.
There are a lot of ways to gain knowledge but we all think that grey hair begeth wisdow and knowledge.
All we need to do is ask....matt 7:7

smallpriq:
those involved are also sensible. Just that marriage is only overrated.

No doubt that they are sensible, but some animals are more equal than others.
We don't know everything that is why there is specilization and division of labour (do the one you know)
They might be sensible in alot of other sectors and not when it comes to love, marriage and how to be happy. Most people dont even know what happiness is and even more lesser to what "to live" means.
So we all need help if we can get it.

RuddyFusion:
Whatever is learned can be unleam ...until we fix underlying tribal issues there can never Nigeria

True about learning, unlearning and relearning, but what are we learning and unlearning, and who made/teach what we want to learn again?
We are just going in circle.
Humans are opininated and the few that has what to say and teach are not heard because of the wrong impressions and values we all have.
The majority that adhere to mob rule don't even know what they are cheering for.
Ignorance is not the enemy of knowledge but wrong information, and we have been consuming wrong information.

smallpriq:
We don't want to hear how shits end in tears

Before the "shits end in tears," they must have been confused and search for answers to numerous questions they have, most of the people they confide to will just give them a normal/safe answers which they already know, now if there was a platform for such cases where their questions are answered squarely without prejudice and generalization, it might help to reduce the tears.
Atleast they will know what they are getting themselves into.

Why is there no "marriage, love, life and well-being forum or gene" on Nairaland?
Alot of people need this forum for questions, answers and probable solutions to problems which they encounter everyday.
So this thread is for you to ask your questions about anything or problems, i might help you answer your questions or give you solution to your daily life problems.

RuddyFusion:
Humanity joins together to protest the evil in some parts of the human race..
.
See them United both blacks and white to condemn man inhumanity to another...

But that's not the case here.. everyone runs to hide under thier own ethic divide to decide what to support or condemn ..



God have Mercy

I gave your post a deserved answer and it just had to wipe.

People should know when they are conqured.
The faster we let go of tribes and regions that existed in 1800 and focus on the nigeria we have in 21 century, the better for us....because those regions and tribes have been conqured by a larger Nigeria and we born into nigeria should embrace it.
This leaders making rules only know abt how nigeria came to be and thier mind and action have been oriented to the teaching of their fathers, forefathers and mentors that dont exist or existed in 1800 when nigeria was stil regions and tribes, if only they know better.

No, quiet wedding with few friends band family will suffice. Usually the grander the wedding, the grander the divorce. Unfortunately Tiwa Savage/Tonto Dike are typical examples, they had spectacular weddings and then years later their marital troubles was on YouTube for everyone to see.

That is not a reason to generalize that "the grandier the wedding the faster it dissolves"
I have seen couples that didnt do shit or spend a dim when they got married and the wedding collapsed within a month..
So what happened to them in this circumstances?
There is no rules or right path to life.
Life is what you make of it.

Righteousness89:
The Heart of We Humans is Naturally Wicked!

It's not Really about Black or White!

There are More Wicked Persons moving up and down Even Among the protesters!

It takes a Heart that has been Washed by The Blood of JESUS to not be Wicked!

Thousands have been slaughtered in Nigeria in more Wicked and Cruel Circumstance..

I Just imagine the Degree of Wickedness that will be on Earth After We ( The Saints are Taken away)

It will really be Terrible down here..

He/She who has Ears to Hear, Let them Hear..

Firstly, the heart of humans is naturally good not regarding the status and complexion eg (when we are kids) but the reality of the world will change us depending on the circumstances we have pass through and how we let it change us.
So techinically it is us that currpts our enviroment and then karma hit us back because the enviroment is an extension of us, if it is evil/bad/wicked, it is our fault some how by our previous deeds.

gypsey:
The wife becomes unattractively over weight, stops washing her vagina, stop brushing her teeth, stops even washing her hair, began to complain about been tired to have sex.


If they are nigerian women they will began going to church evening morning and nights. they will began to pray against alot of unexistence enemies and holy ghost firing everything. inviting pastors to cleanse the house with prayers and holy water, becomes paranoid and crazy.

Excuses and wrong portray of married couple and women have eatten deep into men's head.

Snowale:
Men are simply polygamous by Nature. Whether you like it or not.

Na excuses be that.

If only married couple can accept each other as they are and pick up values that is fundamentally required and shun societel "looking for excuse to be sad" (dectective)
Love and happines is a decision and not recieved, it comes inwardly and spread to the enviroment.

Because they have made marriage that is suppose to be fun and happy,serious and competitive.
marriage is now entitlement and the very essence of love lost.
Marriage proves love and now love is entitlement in this reality.
This things are supposed to be for your happiness fundamentally, other things that comes afterward are incentives.

star4ever:
Our worry is that his situation has brought the family's name to disrepute going by his insane behavior. Otherwise, the family would have moved on since.

Is that what your family should be worried about?
What about his life and happiness?
What if this is the life he wants and love to live?

From the comment and response, nobody is interested in the victims (42yrs old man) health and well being, they have made up their mind that he deserves it because he did/does drugs. They are forgetting the we are humans, that reality and situations/problems differs and handled differently by different individuals.