TheBatman:
erm abeg, did anybody really keep to that 20mins time limit ish, because I didn't, infact I spent well over 20mins. The reason for this is because one of my guys told me that the time limit means alot and that we could be penalized.

That's not really true. The 20 mins is an estimate. I spent over 20 minutes too.

kashey05:
just got a mail from kpmg, instructing me to take an online Psychometric test with the subject, “KPMG Business Awareness Test”.to b turned in before 4pm tomorrow. I really do not know what to expect.... fingers crossed

Same here. I heard it's like a situational judgement test.

Guys, if you wrote the essay, please check your emails. I think the deadline for everyone is 4pm. Not sticking to time might be another way for them to cut some candidates off. So please be wise.

JennyOfOldstones:
I think you should stop making that assumption/ excuse. He might know you have feelings for him but nothing is better than being explicit therefore You really really need to talk to him about your feelings again. Just tell him you still have feelings for him no matter how much the outcome scares you and if he still doesn't return your feelings, tell him you can't be friends anymore and cut off all contact with him. You should stop languishing in the emotional prison you put yourself in and set your soul free.

Most people here have advised me to let him know once again. This really scares me but I guess getting hurt now is better than postponing the evil day.

DeeTus:
The guy OP has fallen in love with, is a very cool guy who knows what he wants. This is how it supposed to be.

Girls should work hard to get guys like us.

You're very funny......Lmaooo

iPopAlomo:
@Izen...

I hope you get to see this... Our stories are similar... Just that i'm a guy and you a girl...

Long story short... I wasn't sure for 8-9 years until one of her toasters called her my wife in front of me... It was that day i told her how i truly felt...

We prolly would be doing sister and brother from another mother this year if something didn't trigger my feelings that i tried hard not to show...

She's my best friend and future wife and by God's grace our introduction is this year...

Long and short of it... Jealousy can be put to good use if channelled correctly...

An alomo popper found love... It's unbelieveable... Yeah... But i did...

Hope you read this and know what to do.

I should make him jealous?

Kfed4ril:


My sister to be honest with you, that guy will end up been your husband. Do you think if he wants to marry he will marry any of those girls he dated? NO
Just try again to remove your mind totally from loving the guy and let faith take it's course. But I'm telling you, out of all the ladies in his life you have a higher chance.

Are you a soothsayer? You're telling me this with so much confidence. Have you seen this happen before?

specter:
Obviously getting stuck on a ship that may never sail is not a good way to go, and gwtting the ship to sail out of pity is even worse cos it might not withstand the temprous storm of the sea.

What I have said thus is simple. Hoping he will change his mind and do the right thing which is make his innermost intentions known to you as to wife you might not work as you might either get burnt or get him to marry you out of pity or the fear of losing the great friendship you both enjoy which might just not stand the thunderous storms marriages face cos he never really said I do with all his heart.
Having said that, I quite understand your precarious dilemma.
My advise thus is take your chance the Prophet Nathan and David way.
Tell him a well embellished story currently happening to a friend, a workmate, or anybody. Perhaps an enemy and act as if you are gloating over it and ask for his sincere advise or comments.
Be wise enough to paint it in such a way he would never understand, you sure know him better than I do.
Again, if he is the type that loves happy hour, give him a treat with a litttle bit overboard alcohol. Like its said"when alcohol goes in, truth comes out easily".
The whole essence is to know his genuine intentions without getting him to wife you out of pity when he is not sincerely convinced you are the one.
Just be careful dear. [b]All the best and pls seek the face of the Lord in all you do. [/b]cheers

Dude is too smart and we're too close for that. He'll read me one time. Your last sentence, I'm holding on to that. Thanks a lot.

ibietela2:


What's wrong in asking him out? Oh wait he won't value you?

Ah.... Someone that has told me I'm like a sister to him?? I no fit abeg.

princefaculty:
Too bad, the dude is in love with you but wouldn't open up coz of the longtime sister-brother relationship you guys have built and it's quite unfortunate that you you may see toasting him as a lady as an abnormally. It may be also be that he's too timid at toasting ladies as that was partially confirmed in the relationship he entered with your mutual friend which he said wasn't his idea.

I also observed that he derives pleasure in getting you too attached and hurting you later on, if you guys can talk it out intimately you may arrive at the desired destination coz I'm sure breaking away may not work out as he's hell bent on keeping you yet not able to voice his feeling out. But if you two wouldn't talk it out intimately then you rather talk keeping your distance out

Hmmm..... All your observations seem on point. Someone advised me to send him this link, do you think it's a good idea?

kennyjam:
this looks like my story....... I hope you're not the person @ IZEN.......Did u call me today....?

Your comment made me laugh out loud. Lool no. I didn't call you today but it was nice of you to try.

Limitless72:
Ladies pls with all sincerity DO YOU LIKE NICE GUYs

Yes, though being nice is relative. People assume that guys who look like pastors are always nice which isn't true. Some of the nicest guys I've met are the unconventional ones who look like bad boys at first glance.

magabounce:

Yes I knew she did!! A whole lot @ dat!! Buh my thoughts weren't on dating.
She kept saying am making her falll in love wf me, I sha thought it was all jokes

So you just strung her along? How is that fair?

omega25red:
postermy only advice to you is get bold and let your feelings be known. why are you torturing yourself? you care about this guy and you have a feeling that he cares for you so, why not let your feelings be known for real. Forget all the a man is supposed to do this vs a woman is supposed to do that.

you withdrawing from him will hurt more than anything and seriously its immature. if you are trying to break free for real, let your feelings be known. if he likes you, then happily ever after if he says no then the anger will propel you far apart and kill the friendship.

by the way, is he single? and why are you still single? have you ever wondered that he is not attracted to you like that (not an insult just noting the fact that there are different strokes for different folks)

I just don't want to be forward because;
1. I have been honest with him in the past. About 5 years ago. I recall how that one turned out.
2. I know he's not a fan of being pushed cos he gists me about other girls.
He's been single for more than a year and I broke up with my ex almost a year ago.

rex444:
Must marriage be the bus stop of every man and woman friendship?

No. I have other male friends and I'm not thinking marriage with them.

sauceEEP:

100% possible for some guys but I can't say for a babe.

100% for some girls too. I legit have some friends who I hang out with strictly based on friendship. And we enjoy one another's company. No feelings attached from either party. But our relationship is not up to this one o. Where we talk almost all the time. If were not talking we're chatting. Share our deepest secrets. Find it reluctant to leave each other's company, etc. Can this be 100% platonic?

sauceEEP:
Just like a friend poured out her heart to me. Initially I told her that I wanted friendship which she agreed so we started hanging out just like friends do coupled with the constant calls

It got to a point that she started developing feelings for me but I kept reminding her of our earlier resolve. This issue of feelings kept reoccurring so I was surprised during one of our outings she told me point blank that she no longer wants to continue with the friendship that its either am in as her boo or am out.

After that day she stopped picking my calls, if ever she picks she'll always tell me she's busy so I moved on because I can't force her. So op cut off all ties with him.

So are you saying it is possible to want to hang out with a female friend, call her a lot, chat with her and all without a tiny bit of feelings attached?

DrObum:
I've been there.

Dude appreciates who you are and has you as a back-up plan.
Sit down and talk with him and make up your mind.

No time for mind games this 2017.
Make we know say na only Buhari matter we dey reason.

It's as if you read my mind. I honestly feel I'm his back up plan at this point.

She sounds petty and childish.

firstking01:
You are excessively too emotional, that's what i can deduce from your post.

Lol, I know. He knows.

webninja:
Lol typical nigerian girl. Just tell him how you feel kid, if he doesn't feel the same way, tell him you can't remain friends with him anymore because you'll never feel comfortable having a friendship with him ever again... he'll respect you more and if he had any feelings for you, it'll be even stronger since you make life easy for him by shooting the gun on target... if you want something, take it! Supposing he is a super hot/handsome guy, you wouldn't be asking such a stupíd question in the first place. this is the 21st century baby.. grow up.

He's always known how I feel. That's the problem I have with him. And trust me, hot is an understatement. He keeps getting hotter by the day sef and he's always been a ladies' man.

ikp120:


He doesn't see the need to rush things with you because of how long he has known you. Just relax and keep giving him green light. If you can't take it, then friend zone him and move on.

I guess he has been fvcking you? If he has, then I don't see anything serious happening between you two except something else happens sha.

Your first paragraph makes sense. I've been thinking along that line but I'm scared of getting my hopes up only to be shattered again. And no, we've not had sex lol.

Apus:
I used to fill his shoes. Maybe he was scared of ruining d friendship between u two. What if dating doesn't workout, would u still b his friend etc? He just had to calculate d risks involved. Swallow ur pride and If u still have feelings for him forget d past & d emotional-play ish, cos it's obvious it wasn't intentional. He sounds too sweet for him to do any of such to You...
Pls my sister go with d flow cos I believe love between friends is like love made in Heaven.

Whether we date or not, I've made peace with the fact that we can't remain friends forever. I don't think friendship with the opposite sex while married is ideal. Yes, he's really sweet

ikp120:

He is looking at making you his. He is not rushing it like most guys do.

Is 6 years not enough time to not rush things?

Aaaaarghmed:
the guy is a weakling and doesnt wana Man up...he wants u to ask him out,,,its already clear dat he is toying with your emotions and when u futher ask him out that wud be the end cos he wud toy with ur emotions completely.if he sees a serious toaster around u i swear he wud man up and ask u out.dont allow pple toy with u all in d name of love.

Hmmm......I wouldn't call him a weakling tho. He always tells me about girls on his radar and all. He recently told me about how a girl was so into him without me asking. He didn't seem too into her so I don't know if he was just trying to get a reaction from me. Personally, I don't like to spoil other girls' parade so I kept egging him on. I don't know if he expected a different reaction from me sha.

JERRY1925:
I think...if u are just frnds , u can step up ur game..create an atmosphere were u guys can have a light romance..
just saying dis because of my kind of person..he might b scared of telling u how he feels..maybe because ur level might be higher than his life r he thinks u too good or he is not sure of what he wants...confused..I think u should take the first step..if he does not appreciate, then u walk away..no harm in fighting for what u want..

It's in this kind of atmosphere that all this marriage talk and all comes up. He's had the chance to tell me how he feels several times, if he truly feels something. You're kinda right about the different levels lol. That part is a little complicated. In fact, I believe both of us feel we're advancing faster than the other only that it's from different perspectives.

Sapphire86:
I read your write-up and can understand your pain. That being said, you are gonna have to put on your big girl panties and have the difficult discussion with him which you are probably dreading & be prepared to walk.

Also... if he wants you, let him fight for you. Men don't often appreciate what's right in front of them till they have to work for it (but form with sense oooo).

All in all, its time for sink or swim moment joor & if it doesn't work out, God will see that you have the opening to receive your own man!!

Thanks a lot. It's good to know that I'm not being unnecessarily harsh. I'll just withdraw totally. If he asks why, I'll let him know that I want to stop decieving myself and that we can't be friends. I think it's high time.

magabounce:
You know!!!!
It's pretty simple!!!
I sister zoned a friend for 5 years!!
She came out plain and said Omang I love you!! I would like us to date!!!
We 2 years now and waxing stronger!!!
Trust ur guts!!!

Hmmm......Errmmm....... Can I ask you why you didn't say anything? Did you know she liked you all the while?

AfterEarth:
Babe .. The thing tire me.

I'm just going through comments .. With that I'll know what the OP was actually insinuating ..

Between .. @OP don't ask me for any relationship advice because I'm single and I promote breakups ..

#OyaTakeKiss

Lol

dingbang:
U will form for him until its too late... Take this from me...

But I'm not forming na. He knows I like him. Do you want me to ask him out ni? I can't do that na.

LeView:
Life is simple we just complicate things.

Instead of having a relationship with him in your head you could just speak to him. All this we are so close crap yet you can't tell him what's important. Lol! Us women are soo crazy! I love where you blamed him for doing something he doesn't even know he is doing! When will we quit this victim card we pull out whenever we are emotionally confused! Tell the man what's eating you up! Tell him with a smile that you need a little space to clear your head because your friendship is making you feel a connection that might not be there.


Ps for future reference! Men and women who are attracted to each other can never be friends! Maybe If there were no feelings especially from you because you are the one who complicated things here by befriending a man you love.

Stop being a coward if he's such a great friend he will understand. Although your relationship /friendship sounds a bit fake. Anyway, do the right thing and not the easy thing that's my advice to you.

I've told him before that I have feelings for him so he is not clueless, and that's why I feel he's toying with my feelings. The friendship is not one-sided if that's what you're thinking by saying is fake. That I'm sure of. Like I said, I have considered unfriending him before but he didn't let me. He knew I was trying to do that and he put a stop to it.

ikp120:
Which kinda joke be this na? The guy has come for you and you dey form say he hurt you. Abeg Gerarahia mehn.

E be like say you never ready for something serious. You still dey do Telemundo

Has come for me? How?

oluwashola4me:
...Do you think he now has romantic feelings for me but he's deliberately holding back. Do you think he's trying to give me hints? I'm tempted to shut this friendship down totally. I can't go through this heartbreak again. It hurt the first time and I'm sure it'll hurt more this time. I know shutting down this friendship will be like a break up for me cos he's been such a huge part of my life but I think that's the only way I can truly get over him. I may or may not tell him but I plan to gradually withdraw. No calls, no texts, until he gets the memo. I really need to heal cos my relationship with him has indirectly affected other relationships I have. I'm falling madly in love with him again and I need it to stop.

Please, you need to cut all ties with him ASAP.
It's obvious he doesn't see you as his potential significant half; despite everything you feel for him.

Also, from your narration, I deduced that your love for him has spanned many years, which points that you ain't longer a kid, so GET OVER HIM!

My comments on Nairaland are so few, I only comment on seldom occasions; but I was intrigued by your experience, and I feel your pain.

Take heart!

Lol thanks. Yes, I'm no longer a kid though our friendship started while we were still teenagers.