₦airaland Forum

claremont:
Modern society requires that both a man and a woman make financial contributions to make the relationship work. It might not be equal financial contributions, but there has to be some contribution from the lady other than the traditional roles of "the kitchen and the other room". If women do not want men to see them as slaves and sex objects, they have to make tangible contribution.

However, there are some men who actually prefer females that stick to the traditional roles. I think different people look out for different things.

So in short, this modern society wants to keep taking from women. You still didn't answer my question on what men contribute tho.

IamMissMarvel:
You are dating a girl and not a woman. Shikenan.

A woman would use the money you would have spent on fast food to cook you two or three different small portioned soups.

As a means of your appreciation, you'll buy her gifts even without her demanding it.

Most fast food and gifts demanding girls are unemployed so the only means to having their way is with men who are drooling after them.

Who fine geh help? Marry a woman who will add value to your life first, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and finamcially by helping u save.

That one no mean say u go be aradite o. No woman wants to marry a stingy man or one who can't maintain her standard or improve it.

I have one honest question for men tho. What else do you really have to offer in a relationship besides finance? Most women have been taught to lose every thing about themselves for the man they love since childhood. The only compensation they've been taught to expect is in terms of finance. So if men hate providing in this generation, what else do they really have to offer?
I'm asking it maybe because it beats me when I hear thing like this especially on Nairaland. It's like no one even values the role women play again. I keep imagining how I would have turned out if my mum didn't have to wake up early to prepare me for school, make breakfast, wash my clothes, care for me when sick, carry me about etc while I was growing up. She was a major part of my growing up years and I loved it. And she did all her wifely duties at the same time. But now, it seems the world doesn't think that's enough unless she contributes financially. Ironically, she does contribute more than enough and that makes her the super woman I don't want to be. Because all I see is her giving and giving and giving. Giving her time, her strength, her self, her money. It must get tiring at some point and I see the stress in her face. It hurts that I had to see my mum cry this year because of the stress of money which shouldn't be her burden.
Anyway, back to my question, honestly if men are not bearing the burden of finance, what else do they have to offer in a relationship/marriage? Is this new ideology of a woman must contribute financially justified or is it due to laziness and lack of responsibility of this generation of men?

Boleyndynasty2:
Buhari should stop oppressing the poor, tax the rich for christ sake. A very good opportunity to slash not just salaries but also allowances of those old men sitting in the house of reps and assembly. Tax those who own more than 2 cars, big mansions etc not trying to kill the already dead masses. You haven't done anything for them but yet you keep trying to milk life outta them

Terrible mentality. The rich worked hard for their money. And no, I'm not rich YET. But I'm certain that this mentality will never make me rich.

donogaga:
Dear Girls,
As you are slaying on Facebook, Instagram and snapchat, Hope you are slaying in academics, businesses, kitchen, prayers and manners too? Remember marriage isn't all about how good you are in bed, how beautiful you are or how much you are worth. The question is "Do you have manners? Can you manage a home or contribute to your home positively as a wife and a mother? Can you cook very well and make your kids and husband look forward to each of your meals? Are you a prayer warrior? In fact, do you even fear God? Are you responsible? Do you respect yourself and try to be of good conduct at all times? Do you even have sense at all? You want a 26yrs old with no baby mama, got a house and car but are jobless. Are you smoking elephant grass in an uncompleted building? A lot of you depend and rely on your beauty, fat Ass and huge titties for survival. Are you any different from the prostitute that sells her vagina for a living? None of you wants to date a regular guy anymore that earns a minimum wage because they can't keep up with your high standards and that's why 80% of you are either married or dating a fraudster. It's time you all see the past your cute face and hour glass shape cos they too will diminish and do something even your parents would be proud of instead of just being a basic Bitch. Don't be ordinary, you too can also accomplish something great!

#Word_For_The_Wise!!!

Your message got lost in the insults. Learn to pass advice without sounding condescending.

MIKOLOWISKA:
So many foolish girls on this thread. You're not even happy he is proposing, you're waiting for him to take a knee. No gree na, other serious girls will take it. Mumu girls.pesin manage consider you, you de form Oyinbo, nonsense

When you think you are God's gift to women

XXLDICK:
I always say this, Lagos has never had a good Governor. Imagine a state with by far the highest IGR and a very high federal allocation with the highest debt.

Kudos to the northern governors for keeping a low debt profile despite having the lowest allocations and IGR

USA is the most indebted nation on earth. If you study economics, you would know that sometimes, having huge debts pays.

49cents:
I agree with you but what is the responsibility of the woman to to her man....in clear concrete terms

Do you expect your wife to cook for you? Do you expect her to bare kids? Do you expect her to keep the house clean? Do you expect her to train the kids? Wash clothes? Go to the market? Etc? Finance is not the only thing that needs to be contributed to make a home. We need to stop looking down on the role of women in homes. Money is not everything. Ever wondered why even though daddy provides most times, most children tend to lean closer to their moms? This says a lot. Remove the role of a woman in the home and see how it crumbles. I repeat, money is not everything.

Timbuktuo:
Should we now pretend that you women do the cooking alone, then? Or do you want to now lie that men do not cook?

At least we agree on something. So why do you guys like to argue that you cannot enter kitchen? *yimu*

dangotesmummy:
If you go to yaba alone or with a fellow woman you will certainly be sexually harassed so whenever I have to go to yaba market where the den of potential r@pests and sexually sick men are that usually hit women's ass I go with one of my huge younger brothers and my cousin while I stay in the middle. That way they nuisances respect themselves but if you go alone there are higher chances of being sexually abused because thats their base.na you come their area

If you're a woman I won't advise you to go there alone. Go with hefty looking men not with any kind of man that they can easily bully o

Because no matter what even if you wear bubu cover head to toe they'll still hurl sexual insults at you so it's best to go with fierce looking men

Then again don't ever wear revealing clothes and walk there alone or with your girlfriends.you will be a target of sexual bullying which is typical with Nigerian men. Wear overall bubu and jeans under

Aleshinloye market is their home in Ibadan. Perverts! I once threatened to sue one for sexual assault.

Alariwo2:
dress as you wish to be addressed..

most of them wear erotic rags, some wicked body grabbing clothes that even you on suit will be like damn!
but you can't talk na... as gentle man wey pesin be

What is your business with what someone wears on their body? Like.....idontgerrit

myfantasies:
Ur comment makes no sense

So just cos dey r poor dey should not give birth

If everyone is waiting to be a millionaire b4 dey give birth den i wonder how d world population will be

It is selfish for you to have kids you can't take proper care of. The kids didn't ask to be born.

PatriciaKT:
She's selfish, how hard is it to rise twins for someone like her.
So those who have less than her and God bless them will twins should die abi
I hate it when parents of these days say things like "I want to give my child the best"
But they forget that they never had the best but still turned out alright.
Even God doesn't give His children every single thing they ask for.

Please, let us learn to respect other people's decisions about their lives. All this insult on top wetin?

fratermathy:
So who enjoys giving money, making hair, buying gifts, and spending money that could be used to eat comfortably in a restaurant?

If a lady doesn't want to cook, she should BUY the food herself. God knows I'll only buy ladies food on three occasions; her birthday, valentine day and any other random day when the spirit is willing. I won't just go and start buying food everytime because I've got a silly, good-for-nothing, proud and unhomely "bedroom" gal. Gerrit?

Mind you, sex is not always enjoyable by both. Some ladies are TERRIBLE in Bedmatics but men tolerate them and manage because they are homely and can cook.


I've got a lady friend whose 3years boyfriend recently got married to a homely and well trained Urhobo girl under her nose because she can't even cook Indomie. The guy takes her to Tantalizers whenever they meet. She won't cook for you and will never reject fast foods. She thought she was lucky and living the life only for the guy to surprise her by posting pictures from his marriage on Facebook without even breaking up with her.

She still hasn't gotten over it till now... This happened 2 months ago.

Good for the girl, she dodged a bullet. If I want to eat out, I buy the food myself. No man has ever paid money for my hair before. I don't ask either. Even when my boyfriend offered me money, I refused. So all your points don't hold water to me. At the end of the day, stop forcing an adult who has full thinking capacity to do what they don't like to do. Whether cooking or paying for hair. Basic human Rights brother, basic human Rights.

suzan404:
I never said a lady should be forced to cook,.....I was only trying to make it clear that,as a lady cooking should be something you should enjoy doing for yourself,family and bf...so you don't like cooking??like trying new recipes ?

Honesty I don't. I've tried to love it but I just can't. I would rather clean the whole house than be stuck in the kitchen.

Dfinex:
no....I don't.

so she won't eat from it?

That's the funny thing about the human psychology. When I'm stressed from cooking, I never enjoy the food.

Timbuktuo:
Is there any man you know anywhere who was born with genes to provide?

Let's not pretend like you guys do the providing alone lol. That's the biggest lie you can tell yourself.

kaboninc:
Baby, try learn how to cook.. ..it's an art and you have so much to gain

Please read my comment again. It's so exhausting when people can't differentiate "I don't like to cook" from "I don't know how to cook". Cooking is a basic life skill everyone should learn. So yes, I know how to cook. I just don't like to cook.

Laveda:
I think only the lazy ones see it as a big deal.

And oh, thanks for the blessings mommy.

I don't like to look because like everyone else I have my likes and dislikes. If that makes me lazy, then so be it. Just realize that some people would rather clean, wash than cook and vice versa. Women were not born with genes to love cooking. We are societally conditioned to love it but some of us just never get there. So cut us some slack and try to be empathetic. If you don't love to do something but you're forced to do it, you would see it as a big deal and that is okay.

kayStelly:
You mean all these long story just because u can't cook

The op is a guy

shuggah:
now i get ur point
.abused for washing her bro's clothes??
feminist shit

For being forced to with no logical reasoning. I've never washed my brothers cloth and I'm the last born. I can wash them but I've never been mandated to because it is not my job to do. He has hands.

victorazy:
Easy?
How did u know the man was born lame and jobless yet the woman (nigerian woman) got married to him.

Do you know who the man was and how he must have brought the woman up?

How do u know the woman is not cheating on the man which instigated the urgly act?

If the woman leave the man dose it change anything, where will she go? Who will wan to marry second hand wife, ur brother?

You know we have fathers who bring us up right?

21Savagw:
Why would a Sane man be happy on his wedding day? This generation, they all stinking Gold-diggas.

Please don't get married o. It's not by force. And when you birth a daughter, please advice her to marry a poor man so as to soothe your ego. Cheers

Dfinex:
if u can let him have sex with u, what's difficult in cooking for him?

We can have sex because we both enjoy it. As for the cooking, only one person enjoys it. Get it?

suzan404:
N.P=====Jamb Question by Simi


Cooking is something you should do voluntarily....so whenever you're with your bf and you're feeling very hungry....and you know quite well that your bf has foodstuffs and other things you could use for cooking,you'd tell him to take you to an eatery??when you cook for your bf,someone you love oo,there's always this feeling that would make you wanna do more than 'cooking' for him....so why do you always allow him to have sex with you when you don't want him to treat you like a maid....your bf would turn to your fiancee one day,from fiancee to husband...so since you're sure and believe that your relationship is heading somewhere or you gonna marry yourselves....why can't you cook for him...and you'll shouting upandan dat you can do anything for him.......cooking is something you should enjoy doing everyday as a lady.....don't cook for your bf and see another lady who can cook snatch him away from you

Err.... breaking news. Not every woman that cooks enjoys cooking. We have been conditioned to cook doesn't mean we enjoy it. Some do, some others don't. It's one thing to cook, it's another thing to be forced to enjoy it. Please where did my human right go? Please let us cook in peace without having to enjoy it. Thank you

TINALETC3:
Go and submit urself under ur husband and stop al dis and if u hv decided to move on, u stl dnt hv 2 tel us

She should submit herself under a cheating husband because he is her god. Ori e pe baje. Collect high five

LordIsaac:
It should sit right with you. Heaven is a journey of the disciplined. Any child who hates counsel or correction is a bastard. Christ Himself drove away the money changers and business men from the temple with a whip. Is that logical? The kingdom of God is not logic...it is conforming your self to God's word which includes obedience to constituted authority!!

At the end of the day, Christ preached discipline with love. Not by tramping on one's human right. They really didn't need to carry a scissors to cut her hair. Personally, I'd rather they refused to hood the wedding. Makes more sense to me that way.

Chrisrare:
d nurse must hav made her point in a disrespectful manner dat provoked d doc.

And so the beating was justified? Violence is never justified unless you're hit first.

Naff24:
How many Nigerians have that Spare Money

Don't mind then. As if if you had spate money, you'd invest in mmm in the first place

slimthugchime:
nobody is broke....they are just not financially bouyant

You just said the same thing. Being broke and being poor are two different things. One is permanent, the other is temporary.

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

If it's the husband that traveled for further studies, you won't say the same thing. Double standards. It's always the woman's fault. Oshisco.

LordIsaac:
She went through their counselling session...she knew their rules, yet she chose to flout it...so they chose to show her who was in charge!

But that is not the love Christ preached. No matter how I try to look at it, it just doesn't sit right with me.

DropShot:
Good job by the House.

Those of you old enough will recall that many Nigerians were defrauded in similar fashion in 2006/2007 through such investment with Real and Cool, Wealth Solution, etc. The return was even more fantastic than this. Many people lost huge money and some later committed suicide.

It mustn't happen again in Nigeria. A word is enough for the wise.

But wait, is it your suicide?