₦airaland Forum

crate:
Babe the fact here is that the guy loves u but He's confused due to the presence of other people in his life and it's also clear that u love him more which is making him scared I will advice u to give him space so he will and appreciate you more

Give him space temporarily or permanently?

Hi guys. I'm in an emotional dilemma and I think the pressure of yet another Valentine's day without a boo is getting to me. Please as much as my write up might piss you off, please try not to insult me. I'm trying to avoid a total meltdown. Thanks in advance.

So there's this guy, we've been very close friends for six years now. There has always been romantic feelings on my part and I used to have the tiniest bit of hope that it was mutual. This was until he started dating a mutual friend. What hurt the most was that he tried to hide it from me despite our closeness. He claims it wasn't his idea though.

Let's just say I borrowed myself brain after that or so I thought. I started avoiding him as much as I could but he wouldn't let me be. He eventually asked me point blank if I liked him and after much beating about the bush, I answered in the affirmative. Apparently, other friends of ours had had to call his attention to my crush on him cos dude was clueless, "according to him". I asked him if he felt the same way and he told me that I was like a little sister to him. Alas, I was sister-zoned. Note that the age gap between us is barely more than a year. He told me he wouldn't lose me as a friend because I was special. Why wouldn't he just let me go?
Fast forward to a year+, he broke up with the mutual friend though I remained friends with both of them. I had nothing to do with the break up o. I was more comfortable rekindling our close friendship then since there was no longer a conflict of interest. It took me almost two years to get over him so at that time, my heart had moved on to other prospective guys.

Years down the line, I had to change locations to another state. It was one he was familiar with and had and still has a lot of business dealings in. Let's just say I still get to see him a lot.

We both dated other people. I got badly burnt by my ex and he was there for me. The tough love kind. As we spoke about my ex, that was when it hit me. This guy has always and probably will always have my back. I felt so comfortable sharing details with him. I knew then that I missed him a lot. I've been wondering what could have been between us ever since then. In fact, I started referring to him as my best friend. I know it's only a matter of time before it's necessary to let go of that bond tho. He's gone get married to his true bestie one day.

The thing now his, he's changed a bit. I know this because we've been friends a long time and I know him well. The calls have been more frequent, longer, etc. He always tries to see me when he can, same with me. This has got me wondering if this is the way normal friendships between the opposite sex are. He now says things like, "You're this and that and it's probably why you have an issue with XX. You do the same to me but I've come to accept it, there's nothing I can do about it". I interpreted this as him sticking with me flaws and all.
At one of our discussions, he told me he would love to marry someone he's known for a long time and he used us as an example. I went on the defensive immediately and told him I couldn't marry him. That bothered him a lot and he didn't stop until he pressed me for a reason. I threw his question back in his face and asked him if he could marry me and he said yes. I pushed harder and asked if he would marry me (not as a proposal lol), he laughed about this. I eventually told him I couldn't marry him cos he hasn't proposed to me and I cannot propose to him. When he tried to form, "so you'll marry me if I ask you to", I just asked to drop the topic totally.

I know I'm supposed to be elated but instead I'm hurt. I feel like I've been emotionally played and I'm still being played in my best years. How can he do this now? Does he know how much it cost me to try to get over him the first time? Apparently, I never fully succeeded. He's toying with my emotions again and I believe he knows that. I wanted to remind him that he sister-zoned me but I held back. I can't do this again guys. Please, I just can't.
Do you think he now has romantic feelings for me but he's deliberately holding back. Do you think he's trying to give me hints? I'm tempted to shut this friendship down totally. I can't go through this heartbreak again. It hurt the first time and I'm sure it'll hurt more this time. I know shutting down this friendship will be like a break up for me cos he's been such a huge part of my life but I think that's the only way I can truly get over him. I may or may not tell him but I plan to gradually withdraw. No calls, no texts, until he gets the memo. I really need to heal cos my relationship with him has indirectly affected other relationships I have. I'm falling madly in love with him again and I need it to stop.

So guys, please should I let go now or should I hold on to a little hope that he comes around based on his recent actions.?

TeamLightSkin:
Pls was any1 able to write without an ID? All I have is d National ID slip. Is that enough?

Yes, I saw people with the slip.

Tiwa101:
In everything we give thanks. The essay was basically two questions. One on corruption and the other one on where u see urself is 25years tjme.

My essay topic was different tho. Congrats on passing the CBT. Let's hope we did well in the essay. I wasn't too prepared either. To others, it is well.

bzeey:
Pls who also is having issues uploading their passport on fot candidate. The thing is kind of frustrating.

Why not go and spend #200 in a photo studio. Take a photograph and let them resize it for you there. I did the same thing and I had no issues uploading my picture.

girlyesosae:
Thanks a lot I had done that since last week.. But i finally got through to them and ive received my rescheduling email.

Please what is the new date you've been given? I'm thinking of rescheduling also.

lola800:
From the account of a friend that took the test some time the year before last, the process is as follows:
Aptitude test after which you get your score(okay not numerical) to proceed or not to the next level.
Those that have been asked to proceed would immediately undergo the essay writing.
They would be reached at later date(can't really recall if the results come out immediately at this point but I highly doubt).
If successful you'll be reached and paired with a team of 7 persons and you guys would work on a business report.
It is after this that those to proceed to the final level (personal interview) would be chosen.

Disclaimer:The above process may have changed as the above occurred about 18months back + May be subject to one or two slight errors due to communication barrier between I and the individual who gave the account.

Wow..... Very helpful. Thank you very much.

Tiwa101:
Sent.

Hello dear, please I don't mind getting the past questions too. God bless you. justmeandkpop95@gmail.com

Please this question is directed at those who have written this test before or who have an idea of how it is held. Please if you pass the attitude test, will you be going to the next stage immediately or will you be asked to come back? I'm asking on behalf of those who are not Lagos-based.

idumsky:
Just got it now..

thanks omolola

Please can you forward it to me? justmeandkpop95@gmail.com

emmalexbaba:
pls do anybody hav any idea about rescheduling because I want to reschedule and I hav sent a mail to them but no reply.

Maybe you should call the hr directly. The number of in the mail.

InformedLola:
Lailai, it can never be OUR money when the other party is contributing nothing to it. That's the fact. It's his money and he has every right to be worried about how it's being spent. Haba, put yourself in his shoes now, economy is not smiling. Get back to your grind and contribute, even if it's a little, then it gets back to being OUR money.

You're not ready for marriage. My money will always bring resentment. Just look at the OP.

Joavid:

No one begged you to be a mum.

No one said being a mum would be easy.

We have working mum's everywhere.

If you're waiting for your hubby to give you credit for being a mum, you might not get it.


ok, maybe you're not feeling appreciated, I'm sorry about that. you can discuss your feelings with him.

That's the most insensitive thing I've heard anyone say.
"No body begged you to be a husband, no body begged you to be a father so stop complaining about money!" now how does that sound?

Please I don't mind either justmeandkpop95@gmail.com

Anikejesu:
.


I applied but I don't av a one sitting at olevel do u think I should honor the exam invite? Before they bounce me

I'm sure you must have included that in your application yet you were still invited for the interview. What you have to do now is to try and make up for it in other stages of your interview. Good luck.

Tiwa101:
Graduate trainee

Noted. Thank you very much.

Tiwa101:
I did. Is it gona h0ld in their head office or what?

They're supposed to send another email giving us details according to them. Please what exactly did you apply for? Is it the Temporary recruitment which included staying your preferred state or the general graduate trainee own?

LifeIsGuhd:
Exactly, I applied for the two so I really can tell for which it is.

Na WA o. What's going to happen now?

Perfectdanny:
Wrong thinking dear........ There's this natural order of things you know.
* Bird flies..
* Plants grows..
* Women reproduce..
* Men rule the world..

It shouldn't eat you up you know. It ain't the men's fault dear.

Lol, I hope you're able to repeat that statement to your creator

LifeIsGuhd:
Who got a mail for an aptitude test? I just got mine

Please was this the only one you applied for? Did you apply for graduate trainee too? I got an invite too but I'm not sure for which it is. Please can you summarize the contents of your email?

Hello guys. Please who else received an invite email from NG-FMCareers@ng.kpmg.com ?? Can you please tell us what exactly you applied for? KPMG has been recruiting a lot recently for various categories and sometimes it can get confusing if you applied for more than one. Thanks.

Silentscreamer:
not d best way, d woman has already sold her pride by sleeping with two men at same time.

Is that so? So what did the man sell?

This thread is for those who applied for the KPMG graduate trainee recruitment that closed yesterday 16th January 2017. Updates, questions and answers are welcomed here.

Chukwumeremeze:
By the grace of God, i work in a multinational financial institution. I needn't tabulate my monthly take home as it's six-zero, with an even number as the first digit.

But my first job as a Bsc holder was 25k monthly, and it lasted a year. Life and career is progressive, and a whole lot is necessary to making it worthwhile.
There is more to work than just earning high and missing the very little things that would count in a later time.

i believe you can decode my message.

KPMG?

chigoizie7:
Lately, from what I have seen, women are the real abusers both physical and verbal . They are violent.


Well, apart from my mother and my elder sister, maybe some of my aunts. Any woman that should raise a hand on me is getting times 50 of whatever actions she carried on me. Next time she will never even try to kill a mosquito.


If u consider urself as a responsible lady, then u should know that hitting a man for whatever reason is irresponsible, but if u deem it right to be irresponsible by hitting me? Then also consider me as an automatic irresponsible man because I am sure gonna retaliate in a much more harsh manner.

If u had thought of responsibilities, then u should know that hitting a man or anyone is irresponsible.

I am very sure you won't show this type of anger if it's a man who bears a woman. You would be like "what did she say? She caused it" *yimu* hypocrite!

Perfectdanny:
My dear *puts hand on her shoulder* we men can do all those things. Remember we can cook, take care of our parents e.t.c.

Technically your only job is reproduction.

And if you could really do it, why leave it to women then? Nigerian men? I thought you guys were handicapped at first.

jpphilips:
Marrying for upgrade? thats a new one.
fvcking black people.

K

Perfectdanny:
My dear *puts hand on her shoulder* we men can do all those things. Remember we can cook, take care of our parents e.t.c.

Technically your only job is reproduction.

Ehn, please carry the pregnancy by yourself too

5starmilitant:
You called her your cook, and she had no other name to call you but her Atm. Instead of correcting her impression now, you're smiling cheapishly because you want to marry. Later when she starts demanding too much, you would be wanting a divorce. Nonsense.

It's fair game now. Why are you pissed? Abi what will she get in return for being a cook? Or you think it is easy to whip up a meal 3 times a day, 7 times a week? If he doesn't want to be an ATM then he has no right to seek a cook.

mcdokwe:
You didn't do your work well as a girlfriend and you aren't doing it well as a wife either. Rather than gross about his dress sense, I will suggest you step up and assume responsibility for his wardrobe. I hope you are not the type that would say you're not a washing machine and watch him do his laundry?

I had a girlfriend (can't believe I can't stop talking about this girl) who wouldn't let me leave the house if I wasn't dressed as she deems good enough, she would follow me to the salon and insist on a particular haircut as against my idgaf mola, even though I pretended I didn't care, I enjoyed it and saw where she was coming from. So swerrie, there are better ways to make a statement, you can do that by dressing him up, it will definitely add romance to the marriage. If you're not very bouyant, make savings and get at least a pair of trousers and shirts that meet the way you want him to dress, make him admire himself in the mirror and watch if he would love to go back to the way he used to dress. Thank you as you make effort to become a perfect help meet.

What is the big deal about a man doing his laundry? My day still does good laundry till today and no one has ever bitched about it in my house. He's cool with it, he is still married to my mum. And that doesn't mean my mum doesn't influence his dress sense. Not every problem is a woman's fault biko.

lestat:
Here's the thing you are clearly not cut out for marriage if your issue with your hubby is his preference for Gran daddy shirts over a hawes and Curtis .

Grow up get help work on your insecurity, this is an indication of a deep rooted inferiority complex on your part ...

And seriously don't bug me again

Shut the fuc.k up!!

lestat:
Now, this is the thing... Nobody cares, nobody was there when you said your vows so why should anyone give a single fúck?
Madam take your issues to a counselor or the divorce court if you are too brain dead to work things out.
I mean I have seen couples have issues over more serious matters like finances, infidelity, abuse but this ?
You need a psychologist

GTFO

You know this is a major issue if she doesn't fine her husband sexy right? Please don't undermine someone's struggles unless you've walked in their shoes.