Jesusgirl92:
You're someone I hold in high esteem here on NL...Reason I'm talking to u not him.. Felt you could have handled the situation better without involving his mum... Oh well... I was wrong I guess. Sorry for intruding....

Okay sorry I disappointed you. I'm just tired of the attack on women on NL. If there wasn't any other thing I was gaining from this forum, I would have deleted my account since. So sorry again.

Jesusgirl92:
Stooping to his level was the best way to go I guess.

Well yes, whatever. Why didn't you call him out? I guess it's convenient for you to tolerate bad behavior from your kind. You have no moral standing here. The hypocrisy. If we had more of you telling them off, we wouldn't have to do it ourselves.

Next2Bezee:
Nevertheless, a lot of guys are falsely accused of gropping.

I have witness a scene, on a bus back from computer village, where a woman was screaming her head off, accusing the guy sitting directly behind her, of pressing her backside with his knee. But, the bus was tight and the last row, where the dude sat, had 5 people sitting there, so the dude couldn't even budge. Should he have swallowed his knee?


Any woman that dares to try such with me, will receive the biggest embarrassment of her life.

Shut up! Sexual Harasser oshi! Justifying nonsense. If I climb bike, do I press my breast to the bike man claiming that's the only way I can sit? If you try that nonsense with me, you'd be the embarrassed one. Olodo. When these predators try some of these things with your sisters/daughters, that's when you'll understand the implication on women's psychology. Very insensitive bigot.

Jesusgirl92:
Bringing his mum into this was uncalled for.

It was called for because they forget that the women they insult, drag and disrespect and also people's mothers, daughters and sisters. You're not really a good person if it's only people around you, you are good to.

safarigirl:
The opening of the doors is fine, my own is that why do men think they have exclusive right to the edge of the seat?

When you want to enter a car, they would want to seat by the window and push you inside

Or they'll want to stay on the outside lane/hold your hand while walking down/crossing the road. I just laugh in their faces when they do that because me and them know that I need more protection from then than from anything else. Forming protection that is not real. When they see lion, they should stay and fight na.

yeyerolling:
I just love feminists, after all the strong woman shit, dem go stil go man house go wash plate hahahah

Eyah..... like your mother abi, as that's the only thing she's good for - waiting on your dad. How romantic

Daboomb:
Honestly, this world has really gone bonkers!

If a man decides his wife should not work, that she should just take care of the family while he provides for their needs, women will call him all sort of names, that he does not want his wife to progress, he is jealous of her success, he is overbearing, bla bla bla.

If the man decides that she should work and feel fulfilled, he is called all sort of names, he is a lazy man who cannot fulfil his duties, who depends on his wife to survive bla bla bla and he must be ready to do the cooking!
What rubbish!!

I've heard the 'definition of a woman' as a specie that does not know what it wants!
Seems very apt.

Any SORRY-ASS woman who thinks cooking for her family and herself is too much for her should stay single.
S-T-O-P WHINNING.

Otherwise, employ a "Houseboy' and then marry him afterwards.

If you want it to work that way, then we would need to start from the scratch. Because no way in hell will I go through all I went through as a child and a student, the tests, the exams, the projects, the ridicules, the sexual harassment from lecturers just to come and be your housewife. No way in hell.
So how about propose that females shouldn't be allowed education anymore so that we can dedicate the rest of our lives to caring for our men. Mr Smart A.ss?
Plus, you better be ready to fund whatever lifestyle I choose Shey you said you're wise?

Cuteamigo1:
because thats what women do. the are better at taking care of the home while the men support them. its the same case when it comes to the providing. men are better at it and the women support in anyway they can. agree to it or not, with this mentality of yours marriage will become utterly useless because couples would be sizing each on the basis of who is cheating who and it isnt supposed to be so. my previous post explains it better although you choose to be blind on the effect such mentality has on marriage. cheers. with the way you are putting it, is it not unfair for her to carry you child for 9 month since it will affect her career? explore the 50 50 thing to the last or let us be abeg.

All this "better at" you're shouting are things that were taught and are things you can learn. Being domestic doesn't come naturally to women, we were taught to be domestic. You think you provide better naturally? Come, let's compare our portfolios so that I can lecture you.
Funny thing is, no one is even dragging 50-50 with you. How is that even measurable? The problem is you lots won't even lift a finger. When you do, we won't hear the last of it. "I'm just helping o, it's not my responsibility o", as if it's not your household too. Abeg oga, you'll see your type. Marry her and enjoy. Stop shiting in your pants about the rest of us cos frankly, we don't care about you too. God forbid I marry your type.

Daboomb:


People like you are either ignorant or just too narrow-minded not to know that WORK is not all about what you do physically.
Planning, layout, monitoring, e.t.c are all part of work! They are BRAIN WORK!
Men/husbands in the household, do more of the brain work, which is even more tiring..... if in doubt, ask a student studying for exams why he/she eats much when all he/she does is sit somewhere and read.

"Work" does not have to be PHYSICAL or time consuming.
If not so, the Labourer that carries Cement on his head should be more paid that the Architect that 'just draws' some skecthes for a few minutes or the mech Engineer that 'just puts on his helmet' and directs the labourers on what to do.

Some of you need to see the "Big/Whole Picture" and stop whinning like a horse, just because you cook.

Honestly, l dont enjoy engaging people like YOU who are intellectually challenged and whose mindset is 'weak'.
You can go and challenge your husband to a fight, because you cook the food you both eat, e nor 'consign' me.

Guy said brain work
They keep coming up with new and ridiculous things. Naaa mehn..... Not marrying a man like you. Not all Nigerian men actually love seeing the ones they love go through all that shi.t alone.
"Brain work" What will I not hear?

drewxx88:
I won't trade words over where iv been to for vacations or not ,you sound like a sissy whose only aim is to come here and win likes try that shit you just typed and watch your wife walk all over you PS its a free world to each his own .

....why you lying, stop f.u.c.king lying, hmm o my g...

Daboomb:


Let us stop this fallacy that women do ALL the "home Chore/work" whether they work or not.

There is division of labour. Cooking the meal is for women. End of story.

If for example (just an example here so dont start farting), the roof starts leaking after a rain or the Generator breaks down in the middle of the night when there is no public power supply, is it the wife or the husband that takes responsibility for such, even if he has just returned from a grueling day's work? Does he start moaning like a cow about how his office work is preventing him from doing the repair?

That is when you hear tales like: 'Is he not a man'? or 'That is why he is a man'.
Fair enough, it is his responsiblity/chore in the home front and he does it without whinning.

Women should do theirs, like cooking, without whinning as well.
Any wife/woman that feels she cant cook the family meal is USELESS to the family and should move out or be kicked out.
End of story.

BTW: I can cook like mad because l am one of those men that believe that no woman should ever blackmail me with good food!.

When you people want to argue, you don't even make it believable. One of your colleagues too was saying changing light bulb, taking waste out and washing car up there..... LMAO. Anyone that compares a once in a week chore to a 3 times a day job, or a chore that would take all of 3mins to one that would take nothing less than an hour; such fellow is too dumb to argue with in the first place LMAO.

Cuteamigo1:
and automatically it puts her at a disadvantage because she is cooking the food she will eat, her children and husband too. what am i missing here? infact why stop there? why shouldn't you demand i pay for impregnating you or in another twist we hire a surrogate and contribute 50/50 for her to carry our child since it will be unfair for you to carry it alone. lets continue like this and by the time we are done thier will be no reason for anybody to get married because most of what married couples do out of love and sacrifice would of been measured in monetary terms. gender equality is cool but a line must be drawn or it should be explored fully to the last items so that people can make better choices

Because you have no comeback for my question, you decided to derail. I asked a simple question, your woman is also providing so why is she still expected to be solely responsible for the home front? You think paying her for the chores is more important than actually collaborating with her? Even the big corporations you all work for understand the importance of collaboration and team work, but I guess our men enjoy the bliss of being blind to the truth.

Harrynight:


Responsible women out there has been balancing their job and their house work for years without complaining...

And this lazy bone who jus got a job already complaining doing house chores after the Day's job.


Abi u wan mek we knw sey u get job




BTW congratulations! U jus got the cheap attention u seeking

Because our mothers never complained doesn't mean they had it easy. It was just unnatural to complain in their time. You know "suffering and smiling". Thank God I have a mum who is open and honest. Hers is a path I don't wish to toll and thank God she doesn't want that for me either. Work, contribute "even more" financially, and still hold the home front solely. All for what? God for bid. It's not grace, it is stupidity and exploitation.

lekonso:
Honestly, house chores no dey easy at all.There is nothing wrong if a man pays his wife a reasonable monthly salary for house chores. Do all those things a woman does in the house then you will know that no be small work woman dey do in the house.

I don't even want to get paid for it. Just collaborate with me.

Cuteamigo1:
you got it wrong gal. wont be siting on my hands but mashing a ps4 pad instead while she cooks for me. if it pains her lets switch roles and let her do the marying and providing.

If she's not providing, she won't be working
Do you guys deliberately want to be blind to the truth abi am I missing something here?

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Oh yes,so because he is scared of the consequence he should die in silence! Bro see,most times in marriage,you disagree to agree. If you are always the yes person,marriage won't work out well,besides the guy in question is a very dull person. He couldn't even talk to his wife about it. True everybody is not the same because if such a problem comes to me,I will discuss it with my wife first and if she fails to take action,I will not hesistate to act on my own and damn the consequence. Final..

Yes Mr Final, there's no point talking to you. Plus, read my comment again, I never suggested he remains silent. Stop looking at marriage from the angle of fight. Drama queen.

JONNYSPUTE:
The problem most married men make in their early marriage is being too soft and scared of consequence. Oga discuss the situation with ur wife and let her know how you feel about it. Let your wife know you didn't marry both and besides you two needs privacy for now. Let her talk to her elder sister about it,give them sometime to act,and if she doesn't leave,then be a man and ask her to and damn the consequence. Is high time people should start saying their mind and stop pretending that all is well while they keep dying slowly in silence.

Please don't damn the consequences in a marriage o, it's a long term thing. Your wife may grow to resent you. Imagine your mum does the same, and your wife is asked to damn the consequences. That's still her family member abeg. I'll advise the OP to talk to his wife privately about how the situation makes him feel. Not in a harsh or blame-throwing manner but in a logical way that won't make his wife think he's being selfish. Perception is key here. In the process, he and his wife should form a team to present a United front. His wife should do the talking to her sister but if she's too worried about being in the black book of her family, then he should do it himself. There's no way OP asks his sister in law to leave by himself that she wouldn't. She can still give excuses to her sister but not to him.
The funny thing is you're assuming the wife likes this arrangement. Same thing happened to my mum before and she was the one even complaining. My father took it up and spoke to the family member in the most loving way possible and the person started looking for accommodation from then until moving out. So my guy, abeg marriage na partnership, no be every time muscle. E ma a calm down.

OfficialDad:
foolish girls everywhere. All they want is Money and dick. The day i would find a sincere girl, independent and with brain, I won't ask her anything, nah marriage straight

like marrying you is some prize.....delusion of grandeur

donstan18:
No nasty smells, tight pussay and entitlement mentality.

If African ladies can deal with the aforementioned, they'll perfectly beat white women all round.

But, it's impossible to deal with those things, so for that, I'll say; It's better to marry a white woman for green card than to marry an African woman who'll end up being a big liability to you.

Enjoy your woman Bruv. It's your choice, let them keep hating.

But this environment mentality is not gender specific o. Abi is it entitlement only when it's about money?

donstan18:


Arh!!......You dey talk am small small, she's not less than 45.

Ask yourself why her face is looking like an ancestral scattered pooo, that's a result of old age, 1000+ body counts, 63 broken relationships, 6ft bottomless pussay, her favorite lipstick is a diiiick, 32 abortions, leaky leaky anus, folded and rumpled tommy, her mouth dn drink sperm pass water, pussay be looking like an expired liver and as a result of that comes the rejection she's getting from men, that's why she's hating men. A responsible woman can never make such statement and death wish to men. NEVER.

We have many of them here, full of fustration, bitterness and hatred for men, most of them are now playing cool to get a man, but it's too late.

I'll keep saying it, no reasonable and sensible man would love to man an Aged first page missing evening newspaper , once your time is gone, it's gone, stop hating on men, we don't marry old pooo, no man will want pay a dowry on an aged evening newspaper looking lady.

We are not fools, you all are meant for aboki dem, and the more they hate on men, the more aboki will keep using them to wrap suya.

She has a point though her language was extreme. But no responsible man will speak of a woman the way you just did.

winningwinner:


I never seen marriage as a competition between the man and the woman where the one that provides calls the shots. The woman should complement the man without having to call the shots. This is what I know marriage to be before getting married.

You're talking like this because the woman is bringing in the dough here. If it was the man, you wouldn't mind him calling all the shots. The hypocrisy on this thread. This justifies my resolve that Nigerian men are the ones putting financial pressure on themselves not the women. I mean, how else will they call the shots? They need to remain in that financial position of power to call all the shots init? I hope we reach a level in our society where every human is respected not because of the size of their accounts.

NaijaMutant:


The problem is our corrupt and short sighted government.

They drove this fraudsters into fighting for survival

Abeg, you people are just greedy. Own your truth.

I transferred money to someone using fcmb since 2nd May this month through my bank's mobile app. It left my account successfully and upon investigation, the money was actually sent by my bank immediately. The recipient never got the money, I'm talking over 50k. The recipient kept going back to complain but they kept claiming nothing entered the account. It took me going to my bank yesterday and following up today for that transaction to be eventually traced. Guess what? Awon oloshi got the money but never posted it. The recipient just sent me an alert this evening showing the account just got credited today. Imagine, from 2nd May to 21st. Remind me why I should never bank with fcmb. Useless bank.

fecta:
The link to the video should be provided asap for investigative research
#joking ooo

It's not everything you joke about. Your comment is very distasteful. Grow up #notfunny

swiz123:
Woe would betide me if I glorify this fvckery

Where did it all go wrong? Why does moral decadence thrive and everyone pump their fist up in the air in validation of it.

On a second thought, I think the problem isn't just low moral standards but sickening hypocrisy; Nigerians are the most hypocritical people in the world.
These people shouting congratulations!!, would be the same people breathing fire and brimstone if it were their daughter or maybe sister who got pregnant out of wedlock.

Weldone Linda for losing the little respect I had for you.

Congratulations!! for officially becoming a slut

Calling someone a slut, how moral of you. You're an hypocrite yourself.

Elder001:



Why should your girlfriend even cook or wash your clothes? even in marriage washing your clothes isn't anyone's duty.. cooking should be shared because she's not a slave.

now to your giving phase :I think money should only be spent in a relationship when you two are going for a date or you wanna get gifts for her ( I mean birthday gifts and Christmas gifts).

Then asking for money outside those stuffs, you shouldn't give her unless it's a very serious thing or she wanna use the money for a useful thing I. e business not useless stuffs like clothes, phones and weaves etc(she should get them by herself)

Lol, finding a Nigerian man that thinks that way is like finding a needle in a haystack.
But I agree with you on dates and special/occasional gifts, anything outside that is stretching it. I don't even support the giving for business thingy except there's an agreement that expressly states you as an investor with rights to dividends, or can be eventually bought out. Then loans too are fine, but be sure this person will pay back sha o.

yabas:
Honestly I dont even know where to start. I am tired of supporting girls financially. Since I started dating women, I cant say I have been lucky. Its always buy me this and buy me that. Phone, laptop, recharge cards, dash me, transport etc, I have done it all. Though when I recently started complaining, my close friend told me that he has also been doing same but didnt want to let guys know so that people will not laugh at him.

After all the expenditure, u still break up with them when you get tired of the demands. Does it mean that MAJORITY of Nigerian girls use guys for money? Or is it just me.

I seriously need a gf that will not ask me for anything. Some of my friends will tell you how they have dated one or two wonderful girls that dont demand for anything but not me, I cant point to any girl that I have dated, that I didnt spend money on.

Guys I honestly want to know if this is a general problem or is it just me. ALWAYS meeting poor women, even now that I am looking for a wife, still meeting heavy demanders that I cant settle with. GOD HELP ME OUT. AMEN.

First, let's get this out of the way - It's unrealistic to date someone that won't be comfortable enough to ask you for something without feeling judged. Naturally, you would want to give to someone you love.

That said, I feel you've been an enabler in this situation. A lot of ladies have the mindset that money is the only thing a Nigerian man can offer them and they may not be totally wrong. So if they're going to cook for you, clean up after you, do all kinds of stuff for you, they must get something in return. Trying to get our men to offer anything besides money in a relationship is as difficult as difficult can get. You might want to say but what do women offer too? Well, if you don't have expectations from your girlfriend such as, cook when they visit, wash your clothes, etc, then you might have a point. But if you do, well that's what they have to offer you. I know you want to say "I can do all these things by myself" but then you're not doing them by yourself and you will judge them if they don't do it for you.

Another reason why I think you might be an enabler is that a lot of men want to stamp their foot early on in a relationship to show who is in charge. We all know money speaks and it gives bargaining power to the holder. Subconsciously, a lot of men show off that they're more than capable and as such deserve respect. In turn, the ladies in their lives interpret that as them having a lot of money to throw around.

What to do;
1. Build your confidence in such a way that even without money, your woman will respect you still.
A trick is to respect your woman too, it works magic.
2. Be ready to offer something besides finances that will make your woman more than grateful.
E.g. she's got exams, stay up with her to revise her books, get her a cup of tea while at it. Little things like this go a long way, and it shows you care about her progress.

Moving on, while it is wrong for anyone to blackmail you emotionally to spend on them, being overtly stingy too is a red flag. If you're dating, it means there's a likelihood of you settling down together. No woman on earth will knowingly marry someone she has to plead with before the children's wardrobe are changed or school fees are paid. Giving is a habit that doesn't suddenly develop when you get married.

Finally, you may be looking in the wrong direction. A lot of men want "wife material". Naturally, any woman comfortable enough to be a wife material in the Nigerian context will also expect her man to be husband material in the Nigerian context, aka sole provider. If you feel strongly about the women in your life being demanding, then you might also have to change your expectations of them. I know a lot of ladies that will rather drop on their heads than ask their man for money. Because they're very concerned about being financially independent, the last thing on their minds will be trying to be a wife material.

Basically, any decision you make has it's pros and cons. So decide which is more important to you. We can't always eat our cake and have it.

BluntBoy:


He didn't report the crime, Instead he cowardly made a snide remark which escalated it. He is as guilty of public disturbance as the couple.

Like I wrote earlier, if you must meddle in a fight, do so with sense.

Yh, but I was replying in the context of "mind your business"

BluntBoy:


No correlation at all.


Protection of lives and properties is Osinbajo's business so he can't afford to mind his business when people are getting killed unnecessarily.

This is not to demean Osinbajo's character. It is merely to point at the weakness of your comparison.

Going by your logic, there's actually a correlation. Social studies and civic education teaches us that it's our responsibility as citizens to report crime and not shield/support it. Domestic violence is a crime and it is your business to report/oppose crime. Kapish.

Shedrack777:
i think nigerians have started using the word "actress" for oloshos and slay queen. well, she looks like a snake too

Remy's husband is the CEO of Iroko TV. In fact, Remy herself is the brain behind ROK channels on DSTV. She is not an olosho.

What they won't tell you is that South Koreans are even more racist than Americans.

Sorry, but you'll have to prove that you can be trusted. Is there a business plan?