marshalcarter:
who wan read all dis one naa





cnt you summarize



poster below me... say sumtin reasonable

AfterEarth:
Babe .. The thing tire me.

I'm just going through comments .. With that I'll know what the OP was actually insinuating ..

Between .. @OP don't ask me for any relationship advice because I'm single and I promote breakups ..

#OyaTakeKiss

Aderola15:
Phewwww....... Read the whole writeup but it has to do with love, gat nothing to say.

Benita27, Hateu2, Lawlahdey TonyeBarcanista and Genea comman epp our sister.

Whatever decision you make Izen, love yourself more.

kennyjam:
this looks like my story....... I hope you're not the person @ IZEN.......Did u call me today....?

Izen:


But I'm not forming na. He knows I like him. Do you want me to ask him out ni? I can't do that na.

ibietela2:
Girls sha,

Blaming a guy for what he doesn't know he is doing

princefaculty:
Too bad, the dude is in love with you but wouldn't open up coz of the longtime sister-brother relationship you guys have built and it's quite unfortunate that you you may see toasting him as a lady as an abnormally. It may be also be that he's too timid at toasting ladies as that was partially confirmed in the relationship he entered with your mutual friend which he said wasn't his idea.

I also observed that he derives pleasure in getting you too attached and hurting you later on, if you guys can talk it out intimately you may arrive at the desired destination coz I'm sure breaking away may not work out as he's hell bent on keeping you yet not able to voice his feeling out. But if you two wouldn't talk it out intimately then you rather talk keeping your distance out

ibietela2:


What's wrong in asking him out? Oh wait he won't value you?

showmeurpenis:
Blah blah bah
Have you seen his _penis

specter:
Obviously getting stuck on a ship that may never sail is not a good way to go, and gwtting the ship to sail out of pity is even worse cos it might not withstand the temprous storm of the sea.

What I have said thus is simple. Hoping he will change his mind and do the right thing which is make his innermost intentions known to you as to wife you might not work as you might either get burnt or get him to marry you out of pity or the fear of losing the great friendship you both enjoy which might just not stand the thunderous storms marriages face cos he never really said I do with all his heart.
Having said that, I quite understand your precarious dilemma.
My advise thus is take your chance the Prophet Nathan and David way.
Tell him a well embellished story currently happening to a friend, a workmate, or anybody. Perhaps an enemy and act as if you are gloating over it and ask for his sincere advise or comments.
Be wise enough to paint it in such a way he would never understand, you sure know him better than I do.
Again, if he is the type that loves happy hour, give him a treat with a litttle bit overboard alcohol. Like its said"when alcohol goes in, truth comes out easily".
The whole essence is to know his genuine intentions without getting him to wife you out of pity when he is not sincerely convinced you are the one.
Just be careful dear. [b]All the best and pls seek the face of the Lord in all you do. [/b]cheers

Izen:


Dude is too smart and we're too close for that. He'll read me one time. Your last sentence, I'm holding on to that. Thanks a lot.

Kfed4ril:


My sister to be honest with you, that guy will end up been your husband. Do you think if he wants to marry he will marry any of those girls he dated? NO
Just try again to remove your mind totally from loving the guy and let faith take it's course. But I'm telling you, out of all the ladies in his life you have a higher chance.

oluwashola4me:
...Do you think he now has romantic feelings for me but he's deliberately holding back. Do you think he's trying to give me hints? I'm tempted to shut this friendship down totally. I can't go through this heartbreak again. It hurt the first time and I'm sure it'll hurt more this time. I know shutting down this friendship will be like a break up for me cos he's been such a huge part of my life but I think that's the only way I can truly get over him. I may or may not tell him but I plan to gradually withdraw. No calls, no texts, until he gets the memo. I really need to heal cos my relationship with him has indirectly affected other relationships I have. I'm falling madly in love with him again and I need it to stop.

Please, you need to cut all ties with him ASAP.
It's obvious he doesn't see you as his potential significant half; despite everything you feel for him.

Also, from your narration, I deduced that your love for him has spanned many years, which points that you ain't longer a kid, so GET OVER HIM!

My comments on Nairaland are so few, I only comment on seldom occasions; but I was intrigued by your experience, and I feel your pain.

Take heart!

iPopAlomo:
@Izen...

I hope you get to see this... Our stories are similar... Just that i'm a guy and you a girl...

Long story short... I wasn't sure for 8-9 years until one of her toasters called her my wife in front of me... It was that day i told her how i truly felt...

We prolly would be doing sister and brother from another mother this year if something didn't trigger my feelings that i tried hard not to show...

She's my best friend and future wife and by God's grace our introduction is this year...

Long and short of it... Jealousy can be put to good use if channelled correctly...

An alomo popper found love... It's unbelieveable... Yeah... But i did...

Hope you read this and know what to do.

Izen:


Hmmm......Errmmm....... Can I ask you why you didn't say anything? Did you know she liked you all the while?

DeeTus:
The guy OP has fallen in love with, is a very cool guy who knows what he wants. This is how it supposed to be.

Girls should work hard to get guys like us.

magabounce:
You know!!!!
It's pretty simple!!!
I sister zoned a friend for 5 years!!
She came out plain and said Omang I love you!! I would like us to date!!!
We 2 years now and waxing stronger!!!
Trust ur guts!!!

Izen:


I just don't want to be forward because;
1. I have been honest with him in the past. About 5 years ago. I recall how that one turned out.
2. I know he's not a fan of being pushed cos he gists me about other girls.
He's been single for more than a year and I broke up with my ex almost a year ago.

JennyOfOldstones:
I think you should stop making that assumption/ excuse. He might know you have feelings for him but nothing is better than being explicit therefore You really really need to talk to him about your feelings again. Just tell him you still have feelings for him no matter how much the outcome scares you and if he still doesn't return your feelings, tell him you can't be friends anymore and cut off all contact with him. You should stop languishing in the emotional prison you put yourself in and set your soul free.

Izen:


Ah.... Someone that has told me I'm like a sister to him?? I no fit abeg.

Toshiba49ja:



He doesn't know?

As if u know d guy in question....
Abi na ur bro

Izen:
Hi guys. I'm in an emotional dilemma and I think the pressure of yet another Valentine's day without a boo is getting to me. Please as much as my write up might piss you off, please try not to insult me. I'm trying to avoid a total meltdown. Thanks in advance.

So there's this guy, we've been very close friends for six years now. There has always been romantic feelings on my part and I used to have the tiniest bit of hope that it was mutual. This was until he started dating a mutual friend. What hurt the most was that he tried to hide it from me despite our closeness. He claims it wasn't his idea though.

Let's just say I borrowed myself brain after that or so I thought. I started avoiding him as much as I could but he wouldn't let me be. He eventually asked me point blank if I liked him and after much beating about the bush, I answered in the affirmative. Apparently, other friends of ours had had to call his attention to my crush on him cos dude was clueless, "according to him". I asked him if he felt the same way and he told me that I was like a little sister to him. Alas, I was sister-zoned. Note that the age gap between us is barely more than a year. He told me he wouldn't lose me as a friend because I was special. Why wouldn't he just let me go?
Fast forward to a year+, he broke up with the mutual friend though I remained friends with both of them. I had nothing to do with the break up o. I was more comfortable rekindling our close friendship then since there was no longer a conflict of interest. It took me almost two years to get over him so at that time, my heart had moved on to other prospective guys.

Years down the line, I had to change locations to another state. It was one he was familiar with and had and still has a lot of business dealings in. Let's just say I still get to see him a lot.

We both dated other people. I got badly burnt by my ex and he was there for me. The tough love kind. As we spoke about my ex, that was when it hit me. This guy has always and probably will always have my back. I felt so comfortable sharing details with him. I knew then that I missed him a lot. I've been wondering what could have been between us ever since then. In fact, I started referring to him as my best friend. I know it's only a matter of time before it's necessary to let go of that bond tho. He's gone get married to his true bestie one day.

The thing now his, he's changed a bit. I know this because we've been friends a long time and I know him well. The calls have been more frequent, longer, etc. He always tries to see me when he can, same with me. This has got me wondering if this is the way normal friendships between the opposite sex are. He now says things like, "You're this and that and it's probably why you have an issue with XX. You do the same to me but I've come to accept it, there's nothing I can do about it". I interpreted this as him sticking with me flaws and all.
At one of our discussions, he told me he would love to marry someone he's known for a long time and he used us as an example. I went on the defensive immediately and told him I couldn't marry him. That bothered him a lot and he didn't stop until he pressed me for a reason. I threw his question back in his face and asked him if he could marry me and he said yes. I pushed harder and asked if he would marry me (not as a proposal lol), he laughed about this. I eventually told him I couldn't marry him cos he hasn't proposed to me and I cannot propose to him. When he tried to form, "so you'll marry me if I ask you to", I just asked to drop the topic totally.

I know I'm supposed to be elated but instead I'm hurt. I feel like I've been emotionally played and I'm still being played in my best years. How can he do this now? Does he know how much it cost me to try to get over him the first time? Apparently, I never fully succeeded. He's toying with my emotions again and I believe he knows that. I wanted to remind him that he sister-zoned me but I held back. I can't do this again guys. Please, I just can't.
Do you think he now has romantic feelings for me but he's deliberately holding back. Do you think he's trying to give me hints? I'm tempted to shut this friendship down totally. I can't go through this heartbreak again. It hurt the first time and I'm sure it'll hurt more this time. I know shutting down this friendship will be like a break up for me cos he's been such a huge part of my life but I think that's the only way I can truly get over him. I may or may not tell him but I plan to gradually withdraw. No calls, no texts, until he gets the memo. I really need to heal cos my relationship with him has indirectly affected other relationships I have. I'm falling madly in love with him again and I need it to stop.

So guys, please should I let go now or should I hold on to a little hope that he comes around based on his recent actions.?