₦airaland Forum

lovely jokes me likey

@poster is ur choice if u dont like football but dont hate those dat love it. Guiness said football is more dan a game so u need more dan a ................ Lol

I wonda wat else dis poster do for fun. Am just guessing.
Maybe he loves africa magic,

maybe he is a gaaaay

maybe a programmer

maybe he is . . . . . . . . No offence
U can include why u think he hate football.

Even girls dat dont watch it maybe is takin their men away from them for a while.

Koolking: We are on the same page dude. What do I need a girl's number for? Except she offers, i dont ask after all i'll never dial. Whatever i need to tell a girl, i tell her in the face. I dont need to hide behind phones and exude courage. That's unmanly

I totally disagree wit u. Wateva u need to tell her, u will tell her in her face? I guess u dont wanna meet her again or maybe de next time will be by accident again. I dont see anytin wrong askin for a girls number, if she doesnt answer fine, shit happens. Girls are guity of all de 10 cruel tins but not all girls sha.

nice one dere. Since they go wedding make dem answer make i know de answer joor. U go fear their diff answers.

Me likey

~vicky~:
lol......mikuz has been reported missing

but vicky is tru o o o. Despite his . . . . .. . . .. . . Posts. We re missin him. Vicky is missin him more dats why she open dis thread.lol No offence

Lucario007: Dear anonymus11,

Please ignore what everyone has mentioned here except Toygod2. I am the Lord of the Jokes section and you will obey me - Sarcasm.

Do not mind our moderator Dani1luv, he is so brilliant he got seven F9 in his JAMB exams. - Irony.

The gays in this thread are Skales, and jackpot (no offense to Jackpot)., the cute lovely girls are Vicky, Booqee, and co. - stigmatization.


Bin Gbagbo and Otooro are a bunch of worthless he-goats. - Metaphor.

mcenpows butt is as big as aso rock. - Exaggeration.


All That has been mentioned above is your key to surviving in this section, also please post funny jokes and nothing derailing, anti=climatic, rhetorical or stupifious. Be funny, insult when insulted, don't copy and paste but most importantly, have fun!

From your cool boss, Lucario007 aka Lucky James Bond.

Nice one lucario. Laughin i like ur figure of speach. No offence if ur name is up there.

A Professor at the University was giving a
lecture on the Supernatural. To get a Feel for
his Audience, he asked "How Many People
here believe in Ghosts?" About 90 Students
raise their Hands.
Well, That's a Good Start. Out ofthose of you
who believe in Ghosts, do you think you've
seen a Ghost? About 40 Students raise their
hands. That's really good. I'm really glad you
take this Seriously. Has anyone here ever
talked to a Ghost? About 15 Students raise
their Hands.. Has anyone here ever touched a
Ghost? 3 Students raise their Hands?"That's
Fantastic..
Now let me ask ask you one question further,
Have any of you ever made love to a Ghost?
Way in the back, Akpos raised his Hand, The
Professor takes off his Glasses, and says,
"Guy, all the Years i'v been giving thislecture,
No one has ever claimed to have made love
to a Ghost. You've got to come up here and
tell us about your Experience" The Big
redneck student replied with a nod anda grin,
and began to make his way up to the
Podium. When he reached the front of the
room, the Professor asks, "So, tell us what it's
like to have sex with a Ghost?? ........... Shittt!!
From way back there, I thoughtyou said,
"Goats!"
loolz :-D

ogbeche77: Ur parents name u Jokotola Aremu, u come nairaland say
u be Jojo Armani... Who u dey deceive? #Godiswatchingu

Haahahahahahhahaha u wont kill me wit laughter. I ve been enjoying ur comment in dis thread even dis one about me. More more.
God is watching u as u re making me to laugh.

To u girls dat re changing their birthday anytime dey meet a new guy. #Godiswatchingu#

pls u guys wont kill me with laugh. I dont even know else to say. I so much love dis thread.

wonderful thread, u guys just reminded old adverts,

mine is dis Honeywell noodles, about a guy and kids, cant reply explain, hear de song.
honeywell noodles bam bam la la, the kids we repeat bam bam la la (dey were dancing) come on every body come on and enjoy it bam bam la la. Bla bla bla.



Anoda is indome noodle,
after de kids enjoyed de indome de
woman cooked for dem, dey started singing

mama do gud o o.
u do gud
mama wey cook for us
u do gud
she give us indome
u do gud
indome gud well well
u do gud

den after de song. A voice from say no mama be like u, no noodle be like u. indome.

fredoooooo: marchisio , future captain score

guy who tell u na marchisio will be our next captain?

@mukina thanks for this thread, am a juve fan. De Old ladies is really makin me happy.

kambili190: why do you assume that the fault lies on the wife's side? and why don't you even once mention that the reasons could lie outside the marriage?
maybe, it's because some men need to get reassured they're good at something because deep down inside of them they feel worthless.
maybe, some men try to feel better and greater by using their money and power to sleep with young girls.
maybe, some men were taught that a "real men" sleeps with many women.
maybe they need to show off, again because deep down they feel worthless.
maybe, thir libido is bigger than anything else about them.
the list is actualy longer. different reasons. don't you point your fingers at women. some of them give everything for their marriage and are still cheated on. even some of the best wives are cheated on.

Accepted am wrong for pointin @ de woman. But some women give thier man reason to flirt.

Killz and crown prince why exchanging words here, one person should be mature and de prob dies.

The topic is why married men cheat. Is it cos their wife is old, cos their wife is no longer fresh as she used to be, or she dont know how to cook, or she is not gud in bed or . . . . .. ..

Wateva u think de reason is lets hear u. So dat de unmarried ones will learn and take corrections and even de married ones.

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]The reason is stupidity. They cheat, and when they are caught, they beg. That's just so st[i]u[/i]pid.[/color]

Stupidity is wat u think. Is ok, ur opinion is not bad. Though is funny,

Nearly 70% if not 80% of Nigeria men cheat on their wife and is expecially dose richmen.
I ve been wondering does it mean dat their wife dont treat dem right or .......wat? pls ur opinion is needed if u ve witness or experience such, wat could possible be their reasons?

Dyt: Politicians
Biz men/women


Flirtin s got nottin 2 do wit profession
Sm jst wants 2 no mata wat dey do

Seconded. Politician is ontop of de list

seconded. The woman does it more.

for me, since u think u always made it clear wit her dat she is not ur girlfriend, there is notin wrong wit dat but u should know dat such friendship dont last.
Afterall Some friends are for fun.

toygod2: Did almost all,and not all is bad..........how about bed-wetting at night,and trying to cover up with a lie in the morning that,maybe it was the rain . hehehe

Bad boy u funny. Hahahahahahahahaha but be sincere are u sure u ve stopped wetting at night. No Offence.

all of u dat is saying it depends is not easy as u think, definitely u will loss dat ur friends expecially wen is men's sittings(drinkin tin)
But wen their love is pure there is nothing u can do( love is thicker dan blood).
i ve had a similer experience whereby my friends sister is admiring me and doing everything possible to make me hers but for the sake of de friendship wit her brother. Yet she still want a secret affair dat his brother wont know, imagine, but i respect her brothers friendship and i also gain more from her brother's friendship dan watever she can offer. Dont pray to find ur self in such situation cos is a hard one.

my questions to poster, where those ur sister inlaw living wit u initially or did they come visiting?

If she was living wit u b4 sometin is wrong b/w both of dat u re not telling us and dat was wat lead for her to be takin de food herself.

Secondly if she came visiting, she will still go.

But wateva way let bygone be bygone, is ur marriage u re tryin to break up. Two wrongs cant make a right.

jennykadry: You are an eediot. May me and my "cabals" continue to give you stoopid people night mares. Tell me now, who here has even mentioned divorce except you? who here has told the OP to leave her husband? you are a certified slowpoke f00l. Just because I told her not to apologise you have already concluded like those daft colleagues of yours that we want her to get a divorce. This is why you could not pass simple WAEC AND JAMB in Nigeria, because they ask a question and you answered something completely different from what was asked. Born f00l

I thought you were just a f00l but you have proved me wrong, you are worst than an imbec1le

Don't even mention my kids here if you don't want sickness to visit you and your smelly nyash in your bed tomorrow morning bast@rd

Shameless woman married to an azzhole. May both of you continue to live a frustrated and dumb life till thy kingdom come. ANu ofia. Devil fart on your empty brain. fcking ashew0 two kobo.

Let me go and drink my VitaMalt first. ODE

Haba! Madam, has it gotten to dat, i initially like ur advice but wen seeing de previous two, i ve to go back and confirm if is really u dat wrote dose first ones. Pls try delete many bad words in ur mouth.

I like dis topic,
honestly Listening is really hard to do especially for guys. I know am a gud listener.

But i dont actually blame guys dat dont give their partner listening ear cos some girls re always talkin bla bla bla. So even wen dey ve important tins to talk, de guy thinks is anoda bla bla bla.

But is gud to be listening to people no mata wat they re sayin, imagine if is u dat is talkin to someone and de person is not even listening.

Is hard to listen but try guys. Girls loves it.

sunnshyn: How about having a bath and u washed ur slippers, then u walk barefooted back to the room holding the washed slippers! Lmao!

Yea U re right. Cant stop laughing, more contributions pls.

nice joke, me likey

Lmao. . . Pls u wont kill me. But pls remember to cancel any waterrugged pitch in stamford bridge. Me likey.

donsmoochi: All of the above

u funny man

Exponental: What makes it wrong?
Illegal or sinful?

"One mans food is another mans poison 'fullstop' "

It is inproper to do it. Try to adjust b4 u do it in public.