₦airaland Forum

EditorAdorableM:
At 61 didn't he ever think of retirement? Or was he planning to work till he dies? After having such a successful working career with choice jobs he couldn't handle an unexpected job loss?? Didn't he have savings? Didn't he have investments? While at the hem of affairs in the companies he worked was he never part of the teams that relieved others of their jobs? So did he expect such persons to go and hang themselves??

Really his death makes no sense! Which kain yeye depression is that one?


A lot of persons who earn so little lost their jobs during this covid/19 era and if they all killed themselves who will be left?

Many private school teachers earning as little as N25,000 lost their jobs, rather than die, they are looking for the way forward. This one just carry go die after earning millions over many years! Na wa o.

azpekuliar:
Charles Emesibe and Ibiene Emesibe

kizyalex10:
the question is now,can the children visit nigeria?most people re scared of marrying oyibo because they re scared thier children wont even visit nigeria so because of that they want someone who will atleast knw that Nigeria is their home,when u have kids that does nt come home or knw his place does it make u fufilled as a man?

GboyegaD:
Oga, don't jump into hasty conclusion about my location? Who said getting a job at 40 is difficult? I don't know where you are pulling your statistics from but I have never seen a job that ask for your age.

GboyegaD:
It all depends on what the individual thinks. A divorce doesn't mess your credit if you do the right thing so why can't you start again? It is the system, I know it, and it isn't about miracles happening.

MrAkata:
First of all it's a lie that majority Nigerians do menial jobs with their degrees. You need to add more context to that statement.

1) Are the degrees they have from accredited universities ? There is also a heirachy in degrees in America.

2) What you majored in plays a huge role also. Some degrees/majors in America are basically useless while others are like All Access VIP tickets.

3) Has the person completely finished his schooling. It's common to see a person w/ a degree working in Starbucks. The reason is because they may be working towards their masters or PhD. They would rather take a part time job with flexibility so that they are able to spend more time on their studies.

4) The person may very well be lying. A lot of Nigerians in the US lie about their credentials. That taxi man or security guard could very well be lying about his degrees. I've seen a lot of people with fake degrees in the US. A lot of people honestly were tricked and didn't know and some thought they could trick the system.

That leads me into the problem with this post and why this isn't applicable in the US. The biggest problem is believing you that if you are offered an opportunity and can't do it then you should lie and take the job.

1 ) This only bleeps it up for not only other Nigerians but black Americans as well. I understand Nigerians don't understand the concept of being black because you weren't raised in America. The reality is MOST white people could care less if u are Nigerian, Jamaican or Black American in their eyes you are BLACK. So that will affect the next black person looking for an opportunity.

2 ) It will only make it harder for you in the long run. You will constantly have to relocate yourself or reinvent yourself. America is a small place as big as it may seem. You screw up one place and it will haunt you forever. Everything goes off of resumes and referrals and they have databases depending on your industry. Once your name comes up in the BBB as being sheisty or a liar then you will have to change your name if u want anymore opportunities.

3 ) it's not necessary to lie. If you are honest a lot of people will still hire you. You may not make as much but they'll put u in a position to learn what they want to know. Some people like training you from the ground up because you won't bring your bad habits to their business. It's an "you can't teach a dog new tricks mentality " but you can train a puppy to your liking.

A degree is not necessary to succeed necessarily but this is bullshit. I just finished my degree and i made more when i didn't have it at. I was making 80k fresh out of high school with no degree and doubled that over the years.

The problem is when that industry slowed down and i was tired of it I was stuck. I pigeonholed myself and had to go back to school.

A good degree offers you longevity and security.

From your write-up, i believe you're very young possibly in your 20s or early 30s my only advise to you is that don't discount any advice given by elders. Wisdom come with age. What do you mean by a good degree?

kizyalex10:
thats the curse of staying abroad,once u relocate eh,it will be like ur facebook has entered friend request default,girls will flood ur facebook especially nurses advertising themselves,u will mistake that for love, but they re only looking for escape route to poverty ,u will see a local nurse eliza that u will manage to bring out from obscurity use ur hard savings to train her to a qualified nurse amd when she is done then she will remember that she is earning more than u or u re a cab driver or security etc nd overnight d same quiet innocent girl turna a tiger trying to devour you,calling d shots here nd there all in an attempt to fustrate ur life for divorce,and once u divorce her,she moves on with another man and with ur little peanut u still pay child support nd she enjoy free dicks while u pay nd with ur meager money,u cant afford to have another relationship or marriage.if u leave them in Nigeria out of d fear i stated above,most will still use ur hard earned money,nd d fleet of cars nd house u left for them behind to flirt with fuckboys ,and if they re brainwashed very well, they might even kill u on arrival nd elope with their lover.such is d curse of people living abroad,it takes only a God fearing woman which is very scarce in our country to get such a woman dat will be humble nd reci

procate all d sacrifice u sacrificed for her

EgunMogaji2:
Folks it’s possible and I’ve seen it happen.

Nigeria holds people back. That dunce village girl will most certainly thrive in the USA academically.

Informal nursing schools liter the USA and they churn out nursing assistants regularly. If a nurse gets into my ex company like that then in six months they’ll start paying for her schooling.

Are you based in Nigeria or U.S. Please don't be annoyed I'm just curious.

Don’t underestimate the opportunity that living in a sanish society provides.

Like I’ve said I’ve seen it first hand, personally.

bukatyne:
True.

Maybe these men should do the nursing themselves/polish themselves so they don't need to ship mailorder brides to the US.

That way, they can pick their type of women over there.

GboyegaD:
Aunty, it is better to move on than had I know. Freedom is way better than wearing an orange uniform for live. More so, he can buy a small unit in a condo if he is so concerned about property.

Ayo8:
The reason for the killings...

Imagine someone you empowered legally collecting everything you worked 30years of your life...including your kids. Everything!!!

Those that remained married until the murder are only trying to salvage what is left because they know they will loose everything if they opt for divorce.



Frustrated that his formerly malleable wife had suddenly become such a “terror” to him to the point of asking for in court and getting virtually everything for which he had worked since coming to the US thirty years prior, the husband got in his vehicle and drove a few hundred miles to Dallas to settle the scores. He found her in her SUV, adorned in full Nigerian attire on her way to the birthday bash organized in her honor.

. Each time the couple argued, the police forced the husband to leave the house whether he had a place to sleep or not. On many occasions, Mr. Nwodo spent days in police cells. Upon divorcing his wife, Mr. Nwodo lost to his wife the house he had owned for almost 20 years before he married her. He also lost custody of their three children to her, with the court awarding him only periodic visitation rights.

I knew this guy, he died in prison about 3years ago.

MrAkata:
This may suffice in Nigeria but this isn't applicable everywhere. This information is counterproductive and indicative of why some people are apprehensive about employing Nigerians/Africans

Constantjohn:
Incase you are traveling out. Can u fold me in your traveling bag??

johnrix:
Married men in the house, which do you see keeps your marriage - love for your wife or Respect for her?

On one hand, one lady who is all nice and sweet, puts all her emotions into the rship, but her attitude, intellect needs some work. You are ready to help build her, educate her but you fear you might not respect that much. Her dream is a loving husband.

On the other hand, another lady, is not the loving/romantic type type, a little cold, but she is responsible and smart. You respect her a lot, but it looks, you will both have to grow the love. She'll have the tendency, say any disrespect, I'm packing my bags instead of working things out. Her primary focus is to be respected in her marriage.

Lastly, what do you ladies want? I hear some women say love, some say respect, some say both. It varies based on those who believe strongly in love vs those who don't want disrespect from their husbands. But one thing is sure, most women deep down want one over the other.

pippimp:
Better to live in another man's country where racism exist than in ones own country where tribalism flourishes.

tex73:
Well done sir, thats admirable. I plan to relocate n do the visits just like u doing. Wating for my kids to get older.

tex73:
Sure i am. Moreover, my parents r both here. Dad is 87 n mom is 74. They actually brought me over.
Hope ur making plans yourself.

abbey621:
Do you have brothers and/or sisters? Then you know that most times when they criticize you or when you criticize them it is not out of hate but out of love. How do you improve if everyone pats you on the back and praise mediocrity? You said Nigerians represents one of the poorest ethnic groups in America....That's a damn lie! The average Nigerian in the USA earns over $40,000 per year, this is twice above the poverty level, comparing it to latinos, Cubans, Haitians and Jamaicans in the USA, Nigerians are still ahead. The average income for black Americans in the USA is even less so this is not even about Nigerians in the USA but the black race as a whole.

I don't know how eloquently I can put this, SLAVERY IS OVER, IT ENDED OVER 150 YEARS AGO! It took a while but after 1980 blacks had as much opportunities to change their lives as 70% of the white population. Let's look at the great Depression that decimated the entire country, majority of the whites after the depression had lost their wealth, status. Yes inequality still existed but that was the beginning of a more balanced equation. By the 1970s and 1980s, blacks had 70% of their rights back. The Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964, segragation ended and we started having black graduates, scientists, judges and so on. Blacks started dominating sports, music industry and more. By the 1990s, a black foreigner could come into the USA and become a land/homeowner in less than 3 years, why wouldn't our black Americans be able to do the same? By the 1990s, afffirmative action was in place, which means blacks were given prefential treatment even when they didn't qualify for a position or school. By the 2000s, we had more white people living in poverty than blacks and by the 2010s, Obama already became president.

I'm not arguing with you that slavery and what happened after affected the mentality of blacks in America but at what point do we stop the victim's mentality paralyzing our existence? At what point, do we take responsibility for our action/inaction? Success is never temporary, a winner is always a winner, even when he/she falls, the winning mentality ensures that he/she gets back up & win again!

My parents came to the USA with nothing, they did jobs such as floor cleaner, maid, car washer etc, my dad pushed himself all the way to work for national intelligence, mom pushed herself to become a distinguished dietician. They faced oppression, they faced systematic injustice but they never stopped, they didn't crawl into a hole and say they can't win, they rose above their limitations. We can all rise above our limitations, many black people do this everyday, the real INJUSTICE is giving up!

abbey621:
Damage, yes! Irrepairable damage, No! How can the suffering sof someone from the 1800s affect someone born in the 2000s? At what point do black people stop playing the victim card? Yes we were dealt a terrible hand in life but how did people like MJ, JayZ, Puff, Obama and countless others make it in life? Did they not face the same systematic oppression?

The Jews were basically destroyed in the early to mid 1900s, they came together and decided to uplift one another as a group instead of looking for sympathies from other groups. The Jews today represents the richest group of people on the planet, at which point do we pull ourselves up?

tex73:
Well, everyone has a different story. I'm going on my 20th here.

win2kwire:
Fair point but is not high level enough to capture the core issue/s.
America is about wealth and power not race, racism is simply a word for classism and blacks are subjected to it because they happen to have the poorest numbers in the demographic.
Asians, Italians, Irish used to suffer the same fate until they became visibly well off and adjusted. Black Americans are incapable of taking advantage of the many educational, skills and employment opportunities that even Latinos and Africans get.

It is natural that police goes to the poorest areas and less privileged for most of their work, afterall their salaries are mostly paid by the Capitalist movers and shakers of the society. Classism (what blacks call racism) cannot be ended with riots, you cannot change human minds and perception with any law. The only way blacks can end their treatment is to become affluent, competitive and socio-economic stakeholders.

abbey621:
Slavery ended since the 1800s, racial and systematic oppression took over until the 1970s when everyone basically had protected rights, by the 1990s blacks started moving into the Hamptons and other luxurious places, by the 2000s we had more white people on welfare and foods stamps than blacks.

So if you're saying the system is only unfair to blacks, what would you say to the white crackhead living in section 8? What would you say to the white teenager that can't get into a good school because there's no money. I know it is easy to see things from one side but if you can just try and open your mind to both sides of the issue, you'll know that in this 21st century, the failures of blacks has more to do with mindset than any other thing. I've lived in the USA for over a decade, I see as my black brothers and sisters continue to waste their lives, I see how they would rather spend their income tax return on Nike's and gold chains than bonds/stocks. I see that if you give a black man/woman $10,000, he or she would be broke in 6 months. Sometimes the real enemy of the black man is the black man himself!

Urchman200:
I am looking at how it destroy society, if we claim one Nigeria bringing tribal sentiment into our national life we prevent us from moving forward as a nation.

tex73:
Thank you for this. I try to explain to friends that its not that bad here. Just do what's right n mind your business. African-American r aggressive n this is why a white person or cop brings out their own aggression to interact with them. Poeple dont even realize how some African American treats a typical African here. Most whites r cool regardless, just a few bad once. America has a solid foundation. Its a blessed country.

Urchman200:
tribalisum is worst

BelieverDE:


This is getting serious, please don't go back there at night. If you need to go there, please go with a friend........... jealousy is a disease

studentofTruth:
I read all your comments Sir, and I agree with all of them. But you're overlooking one very important point — the collective poverty of the populace and the security issues it causes. Right now, I'm living in fear!

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.


2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.