Romance › Re: 6 Assets That Makes A Man More Attracted To A Woman by joseph1832(m): 10:47pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
AyamBlaze: lol. Cut d dame some slack bro. We live in a free world. If you really believe we live in a free world, please pack your bags and board the next plane to London. |
Romance › Re: 6 Assets That Makes A Man More Attracted To A Woman by joseph1832(m): 10:07pm On Jan 02, 2016*. Modified: 10:48pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Estharfabian: I could still Get any guy I want, even if I looked like A possessed Uglee, skinny Skeleton! 
"Hubris" A fine quality, possessed by cu.nts who often perish from it. |
Music/Radio › Re: What Music Are You Listening To Right Now? by joseph1832(m): 10:03pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Donna Summer, She worked hard for her money. |
Politics › Re: PDP: Buhari Thinks Dasuki Wants To Be President by joseph1832(m): 10:00pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
bettercreature: These is One of the reasons people will never vote for PDP again,see how they are defending corruption at the highest level Bro, have you ever heard a man say "his sh1t stinks" even when that man knows his sh1t really stink? Its the same with PDP. |
Politics › Re: Inside The Massive Money Laundering In Nigeria’s National Assembly-Premium Times by joseph1832(m): 9:49pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Demmocrats: Bunch of idiots, why didn't you guys start from 1999 till date why the last six years which involves Jonathan, all of a sudden that ape called Obasanjo is now a saint, a man that wasted the resources of this country with his VP. Even though Jonathan looted which we all know its not proper by basing all the corruption fight on one person. If they had actually started from 1999 till date, its still the same PdP that will be held responsible. The extent of damage the PdP has done to this country can never be undone in a single day. |
Politics › Re: Inside The Massive Money Laundering In Nigeria’s National Assembly-Premium Times by joseph1832(m): 9:44pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Between 2009 to 2015. That's the tenure of David Mark and the administration of Jonathan Goodluck.
I'm now never surprise when allegations are made about the extent at which our collective wealth was looted without remorse. |
Christianity Etc › Re: Chris Oyakhilome Gives Drummer Jeep Worth $50,000USD by joseph1832(m): 9:29pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
hungryboy: This is how capitalism works,
Never fail to reward your best workers, Or else, the will go to your competitors,
The only thing left now is this pastors adding CEO to their titles Men I couldn't have said it better. The gains of capitalism never fails to spread its tentacles in other to deceive the foolish multitude. |
Politics › Re: Online Petition Asking Buhari To Resign Gathers Momentum by joseph1832(m): 9:25pm On Jan 02, 2016*. Modified: 7:54am On Jan 03, 2016 |
600 signatures in 48 hours? I see, I bet by Wednesday, the petition would have lost its momentum.
Seriously, if the petition had gathered 10 million signatures in 48 hours, I would have taken it seriously. |
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Celebrities › Re: Artistes Don Jazzy Dispute Ruined Their Career by joseph1832(m): 3:14pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
People seem to forget that Don JaZzy was a member of the Eternal Sacred Order of the Cherubim and Seraphim. Where visions and dreams are dreamt as well as having an array of visioners who have no scruples whatsoever in dealing with enemies the spiritual way.
I bet his dad is still an elder (Alagba) in that church, by the time those visioners and prophet light 7 sticks of candle and burn 7 (999) incense on Olamide's head, his case will be worse than D'banj.
A word is enough for the wise. LMAO. |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 3:05pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: Enlighten me then... Ecclesiases 3:1. |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 2:44pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: Imagination? It sucks! Especially when its sex related issues Hmm. You need illumination in this aspect... |
Romance › Re: silly Questions Ladies Ask When A Man Is About To Have S*x With Them by joseph1832(m): 2:30pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
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Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 2:29pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: If only that's possible..LOL... Actually it is. Never underestimate the power of imagination.  |
Romance › Re: silly Questions Ladies Ask When A Man Is About To Have S*x With Them by joseph1832(m): 2:27pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
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Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 2:24pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: Do you feel this way everyday?  Now why don't you find out for yourself. LOL. |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 2:19pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
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Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:34pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
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Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:33pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Tolexander, I'm sure you understand what's being said in the poem above. Lol. |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:31pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: Understood it more... Awesome. How you? |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:30pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
emaculate99: Confirm! Why should the guy put that offer up at the first instance? All the more reason why I asked the rhetorical question, "what did you cram?", cos obviously, the dude must have been cramming something for him to put up that offer. |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:21pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
llaykorn: WTF! 
Why would someone want to give 500 Dallas to a random moniker in the first place? Now that is the question. Laveda: I like the way you explained everything one after the other  You don't say? |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:15pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
llaykorn: What has that noble man done to deserve that beautiful ode?  Read the analysis my good friend, and ask that question again. Lol. |
Poems For Review › Re: A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:06pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
ANALYSIS OF THE POEM
PLOT: The poem focuses on a particular nairaland moniker, who made the promise of giving $500 to any moniker randomly selected, as long as that moniker comment on the thread created for that specific purpose. Only for the said moniker to come up with frivolous reasons....
STRUCTURE OF THE POEM: The poem is a sixteen line poem with eight stanzas, written in couplet form. The poem is also a satire written for the sole purpose of criticizing the said moniker who promise to give $500. The poem made use of internal rhyme, rather than end rhyme.
POETIC DEVICE:
Assonance: "jonze the jonze". Used in line 4 of the second stanza of the poem.
Repetition: "Mr Cramjones Hey", used in lines 1 and 9. The words "Nairalanders" used in lines 4, 7 and 8. The words "Cram" used in lines 1 and 10 and the word "Scam" used in lines 2, 12 and 16.
Personification: "The hills have eyes", "the walls have ears", "forest have noses", and "mountains have mouths" used in lines 13 and 14 in the poem.
Metaphor: "later giving them hundreds of testaments", "with hopes of minted supplements", "tainted with wasted requirements" used in lines 5, 6, 9 and 10.
Symbolism: "Nairalanders" used in lines 4, 7 and 8, meaning the collective hope, yearning, expectation and aspiration of members of the forum.
Neologism: The word "Jonze" in line 4 of the poem.
Consonance: In line 14 of the poem. "Mountains have mouth".
Euphemism: Used in line 16 of the poem. "Please, us with your scam".
Rhetoric Question: Used in line 1 of the poem. "What did you cram".
THEME. Disappointment. Reprimand. 2 Likes 3 Shares |
Poems For Review › A Satire For Cramjones. by joseph1832(op): 1:03pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Mr cramjones hey! What did you cram? Or should I say, who did you scam?
Is it Grace Jones or is it Tom Jones? Did you Jonze the Jonze of Nairalanders?
Promising them hundred of benjamins, Later giving them hundreds of testaments.
Did you feed the minds of Nairalanders, Only to blind the minds of Nairalanders,
With hopes of minted, supplements Tainted with wasted, requirements?
Mr Cramjones hey! always learn to cram, Or should I say, learn never to scam,
For the hills have eyes, the walls have ears, Forest have noses, mountains have mouths,
Now Mr Cramjones please, run and scram And never again please, us with your scam. 4 Likes 6 Shares |
Poems For Review › Re: Lola's List by joseph1832(m): 7:52am On Jan 02, 2016 |
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Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Thread For Romancelanders Flexing Tonight ( Report Your Location) by joseph1832(m): 8:36pm On Jan 01, 2016 |
naijaboiy: [color=#1980BC]In my father's house chilling with pure water. [/color] Shey una get light?  |
Politics › Re: Cramjones 5 Predictions For Nigeria In 2016 by joseph1832(m): 8:31pm On Jan 01, 2016 |
cramjones: Too many fake people claiming the money, I had to close it down! Anonymous forums are a pain, you don't even know who you are dealing with!
-CramJones LMFAO. Like I never heard that before. LMAO. Too many people... didn't you say you were going to pick just one, so how come you're saying too many people? This dude is truly hilarious, hey Tonyebarcanista, it seem you have a twin brother here, who likes attention just like you do. LMAO. |
Politics › Re: Cramjones 5 Predictions For Nigeria In 2016 by joseph1832(m): 8:27pm On Jan 01, 2016 |
cramjones: Dear Nairalanders,
Happy New Year to you all, and thank you for making the CHANGE happen last year for our dear country. I wish you and your families the joy, health and happiness this coming year!
Permit me to say that this is not a prophecy like the many fake and fraudulent "prophets" that release a new year prophecy of which half never come to past. They do so to seek political toasting and whimping. My Predictions are based on facts, projections, data, and meetings I have had this past year with government officials.
1. This will get much harder economically - There would be several strikes from ASUU to health workers to doctors etc.. Why?
-We are borrowing $10billion, and it would need to be serviced, this would slip our naira to over N300 to a $1 since there are no foreign reserve cushion. - Govt would find it very hard to pay salaries. -Two days ago Iran announced that they would be producing oil at the rate of $2/barell, this would make oil prices slip somwhere between $15 - $20, and the Federal government would find it very hard to fund itself or the country.
2. Dasuki and his cohort will end up in jail. Dezieni will be extradited to Nigeria would face criminal prosecution, if she survives her cancer (We pray she does). Why?
It is pretty clear that Buhari won't allow that one to go scot free. She must be made as an example to Nigeria and the rest of the world, that Nigeria has indeed changed. Why?
There is irrefutable evidence to nail Dasuki before any court in Nigeria. You will know even more this year $2.1 billion is just the tip of iceberg.
3. There would be at least 21 hours of power supply in most states in Nigeria by the year's end. Why?
-Fashola has a clear roadmap to consolidate on what GEJ administration started. Many companies from the U.S especially G.E is ready to work with him to make this happen.
4. There would most likely be a rise of another terror group from the shia sect, whilst Boko Haram would be severe weakened. Why?
-Iran has vowed to protect the Shia population if Nigeria fails to do so. So far Nigeria has failed to do so, on the contrary, every top government official from PMB to the very least are demonizing them, even after they were massacred. Knowing that Iran is the number one sponsor of terror around the world, they may begin covertly funding another terrorist organization to overthrow the Buhari government.
5. Many pastors who where bribed will be exposed this coming year. It would shock many Nigerians to see how much their revered men of God collected. They won't just be exposed, but they may end up in jail. Don't ask my why!
By and large, 2016 would be a very rocky year, Nigerians would suffer, but it will get better sometime soon. GEJ and past leaders, especially GEJ destroyed this country and with oil prices plunging to $20 - $25/barrel, they honey moon is over for Nigeria. Nigeria cannot sustain the type of corruption that went on in GEJ's time, when only 7 persons would steal over N3 trillio and yet the country fails to collapse. Times have indeed CHANGED, and 2016 would surely see some of Nigeria's biggest theives cooling off in jail!
-CramJones
cc: lalasticlala ishilove obinoscopy Pardon me Mr. But when did you become a Man of God? I thought making prophecy sorry predictions is something most men of god are very skilled at. |
Romance › Re: Why Do People Say Husbands Are Scarce When I Get At Least 2 Toasters In A Day? by joseph1832(m): 8:20pm On Jan 01, 2016*. Modified: 8:44am On Jan 02, 2016 |
lifeisabitch: Toasters every where, some are talking marriage just that they are way beneath my level. I have my own target 
Why do people still say husbands are scarce?   Ask yourself this question: do the people toasting me really want to marry me? I'll bet you, most of the guys toasting you, just want to f*#k you and dump you, while those asking you to marry them are only using it as a way to f*#k you. So no go dey believe oh. Lol. |
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