₦airaland Forum

mrssho:
All these excuses its like it hasn't registered to you what is at stake. If you leave and go to a friend's place in another state who will see you. Madam leave now while you have the upper hand if you wait till your baby is weaned there is nothing stopping them from kicking you out or even getting police to arrest you

No ma,my friend is within the same state. Besides,as I speak,my important belongings are all out of the house. Before Thursday,My baby and i should be out of this house.

Onegai:
Juzzybabe, I understand what you're going through. Truly, we have some similarities in our stories but I thank God for my mum and my MIL. Leave for now (beacuse if you do leave your child with them, they will continually use it against you and most likely poison your child's mind against you.) Men tend to get frustrated and start looking for who to blame (and in most cases, it is their wives that suffer). A man that told you how happy he is to have a baby, when you get pregnant and Reality comes knocking and they find themselves weak in the face of Adversity, all of a sudden, you become the Devil and it is all your fault. And at that point in time, you cannot say anything to change his mind. So leave for now. When things settle down, the honest ones will own up to their mistakes. The less honest ones will continue blaming you and will keep making their mistakes in different versions with different people, over and over again. Down to their children.

The next few months are going to be so tough, and none of us can really help you from afar. But people who have worn some parts of your shoes will hold you in prayer (and yes, please people give her financial aid so she can leave).

Leave for now. Try and leave tomorrow, don't wait until you have the money complete. Just first be able to transport yourself to your friend's place. Your parents should be contacted immediately you get there and if your husband calls on the phone (he most likely will be screaming abuse at you), please don't pick up, just send a text saying that please he should speak to your father and mother as you wish to be guided by their decisions, same with your MIL. They married you from your family, they should explain to your family why they no longer want you. Henceforth, say nothing more to anyone, don't shout, don't abuse, don't say anything to be used against you. Money will come, I promise (Angels will come to your aid, I swear it. I speak from experience). Just get out for now, secure your child.

LeAving today won't be possible because am Yet to get a traveling certificate for my baby. Am working on that and her birth certificate which will give her different identity. I don't want to go to my friend's place and start going around to get this done,dono who might see me. So am buying some time in the house while I get it all done soon. Meanyl I have not been eating in the house ooo,am afraid of even the water in the house. For now,I am not safe.

soonest:
Juzzybabe, never you leave your child for anybody. Learn from others mistake. Children are harder on their mum than dad. I have a friend who wouldn't forgive the mum completely for 'abandoning' them. It's either you stay with your child or you leave with your child. Be wise

Ok dear. Thanks.

pickabeau1:
I wish you the best once again

Can you leave an email or a phone number you can be reached on in case of assistance

Thanks.I will respond to all PMs asap. Meanwhile my email is apinke4@gmail.com

Hi

Syncan:
Amen. You fit add MariaGoretti own na, we dey second day already.

Good morning.

Her's will come specially at the end of the end of the day. Today is dedicated to MariaGoretti

@ Kamsified may God enrich and enlarge you coast. May he bless all that concerns u,may he take you from grace to grace,may he bless the works of your hands and give u long life and sound health of mind and body that u may serve him in all faithfulness. Amen.

pickabeau1:
Whatever you decide to do, you have to think of the best interest of that child and not a ego battle.

As they say a child will always look for d dad,so will he look for the mom.

Not ego dear,trust me I want the best for my kid. But the best I am not getting here. I know my child wil look for her dad and I still hope and pray my huby understands the importance of family soon. I still want my marriage,but if I don't take this step,I will loose both the marriage and the child n if possible my life.

pickabeau1:
Sorry about what you have been going through


Have you actually spoken to your husband at all in all these wahala to hear his own opinion

From your accounts, you are in some measure of financial challenge.....

Have you considered leaving the child while you get back on your feet and can properly cater for d kid
He's their grandchild
They can't harm him

Single motherhood is not a walk in the park

My husband Humm...guess u didn't read through my previous post. Anyway,speaking of leaving the kid,I would have but if I do,I will never see my kid again and even if I ever sees the kid,my MIL would have turn the child aganist me. Since I got pregnant until now,she had always said it to my face that I don't want the kid and am trying to terminate the pregnancy. Having the baby through CS,got my mother inlaw even more hard on me. After all the doctors explanation that CS was the only chance,my mother inlaw,since I got back from the hospital always tells me I was too lazy to push and I didn't give birth like a real woman. She says,I don't deserve the child,that I wanted to kill the child. Really I don't know why she says those horrible words to me which are not true. If I leave my kid with her,that is the tales of lies she will feed my 9moth with.
MY mother inlaw is working endlessly to tear my marriage apart and her son is her pet who listens and obey whatever is mummy says. He doesn't have a word of his own.

yetseyi:
I m so speechless.

Anyway I guess you are moving to Ogun from Ibadan.
You should start searching for jobs as soon as you have recovered from the surgery so that by the time your baby is old enough to be left with your mum you can have a day job.

Its well sis, be strong

No dear,am going back to Ghana my mother's home,to put my life back on track. Am sure if my husband really wants me,he will come looking for me,then he will appreciate me.

When all this is over,I will post my full story in details,so that others will learn from my mistakes

yetseyi:
This one get as e be, I dont understand why a man would behave this way to his wife and the mother of his child, and how a whole family would call a meeting to ask you if you still want the marriage.

If i may ask do you have a job or business you do. something you can take care of yourself and the baby with.

I believe you have decided you are leaving the house which I think is right but I would advise that you and your mum leave in a way that doesnt suggest to your in-laws that you are leaving the marriage because the next thing they might say is she left her husbands house and would definitely use it against you.

Lets hope your hubby realizes his mistake soon enough

I pray God gives you the wisdom to handle this matter

Before I wedded,I had a job and a biz of my own.when husband proposed I left everything and came to be with him. During the wedding preparation,he told me he will like us to have a baby ASAP,he specified he wanted me to be pregnant before he returns and i will join him in a short while.After the wedding,he left and few days after I realized I was pregnant. I told him,but to my surprised he got very angry and asked how come? Well,he made up a story which he hold unto till now that he told me not to get pregnant and I went against his order for that reason I will have to stay back with his family. That was the beginning of our problem. While pregnant i asked when will i join him,he said 6months after delivery which led to the begining of this thread. While with his family,I got a job with a bank through the help of a friend just a little mile from home,but my inlaws called meeting again and said I should not work. For peace to reign,I quit. And that's how I spend the whole past months just home doing nothing. After delivery when I asked about his previous plan which I yet objected to,he change the story. When I insisted on getting me a seperate place of my own to stay and move on with my life he insist I remain with his family until he is ready to take me out. I made up my mind to leave,because the insults from his family is just too much,especially since after I put to bed,things have been so awful. My MIL obviously,wants to take the child,same with my husband,they wants to kick me out and take the child,they are only buying time with me cuz the kid is still young and breast feeding. Long story dear. But am leaving because if I don't I will loose in all ways.

Humm...this question is tough ooo

Most groom to be leaves that decision to their bride to be,but if u feel u have a special date,let her know. Or better still u both should decide if u wont let her pick a date of her choice. There is no cause for alarm na

favoured234:
Juzzy, She asked what funds you need.... Maybe you should tell us, if we know we will know where to focus our energy, maybe prayers and our widows mite... There is no time oh..

I have been able to gather some funds but not enough to take us out,I need roughly 50,000 more. Thanks to all for the concern.

Ewoooooo...

andromida:
I hope your bags are packed and you are ready to leave. This man has given you too much grief I read you say over and over again you love him. When you are less busy, in a quiet place all by yourself, ask yourself what you love about him because from this story I cant see any love flowing to you from him I don't believe it's possible to love a man who does not care about you. You know we women lie to ourselves a lot we can go like it's because of his mom he is treating me so badly if I can only wait it out he will come around and from there we stay too long in a bad situation.

This man deserves to lose you and your child. If he ever comes to his senses he can come visit his child and I hope for you by then you have totally moved on and are in a better place in every way living a better life. No woman deserves to be at the receiving end of this kind of dastardly behavior from her husband.

I am happy to see you are making plans to take care of yourself and your child you will need to call on reservoirs of strength from within you to get out of this situation. I wish you strength, health and wisdom as you navigate your life forward.

Amen. Thanks Dear. I will be out soon

Beautiful!!!

shndy:
There is obron-6 which is very good, and also pregnacare breastfeeding.

Ok dear,thanks.

Lorlahbee:
Hi, after giving birth my doctor advised to continue with my pre natal vitamins for the duration of time I will be breastfeeding exclusively. Dat really helped with my appetite.

Ook. I was on pregnacare while pregnant,so I should start using their breast feeding supplement too,but I will just consult my doctor anyway just to be sure. Thanks sis

[quote author=ayocool post=33591911]From all, Im my opinion,

Your man loves you and wanted you for real at first

He is not in a stable condition in Dubai financially and maybe age is catching up, with pressure from family to marry or have a baby

When it all happened, probably little funds he sends to his family is becoming unavailable and they start to fear that all money will be going to you and the child (Because you definitely gonna need a new apartment and all)

Family have been complaining to him behind you and putting pressure on him, giving him all reasons to abandon you

Now they want the child alone and you out of the picture.

Your man will come to his senses one day and regret all these. Whether you leave with the baby or not, he will come to beg for forgiveness to take you back. He is just plain stupid because getting you to dubai will at first easy medical care for your child, you can find a daycare or Indian nanny to take your child to and start working together. You might be able to get a better job than him and adding both salaries together, you will live an average life, even if its a bedroom apartment and have savings. You both will also be able to send something to the greedy parents.

1. I would think you call your husband, tell him some of this points, cry on the phone even if you have to fake it, remind him of your past together and give him reasons to see that the future will be brighter if you live together and work together there. Bad as he bad in Dubai you will get a teaching job that will pay at worse 150k naira monthly. Even if that goes on accommodation, he can handle feeding and the rest.

2. But since they are indirectly telling you they dont want the marriage. Threaten him abit also, let him know at this point you have nothing to loose., they are not doing you a favor and you are the one doing them a favor my tolerating their nonsense and raising a child for him. You can run away with your child, leave the child with your parents and finance yourself to go to that same dubai for a job and take care of your child.

Just be prepared for whatever comes and stay strong[/quote


My dear,I have used every available method to present my case to my husband,I went to the Rev. Who join us together in matrimony as well,just to shake my husband but I reaslize am only wasting my time. My huby would tell his mum watevr I tells him,n have his mum deal with me while he claims innocent and yet arrogant. His parents are now suspecting my plans of escape due to some threats I made to my husband that he went n told them. They have been keeping guard on me these past days n I notice but that won't stop me from escaping when am set. My husband doesn't want to reason with me at all,rather he insults me. I would have posted screenshots of our conversations so u can see the way he communicates with me,his wife,but I have to be so so anonymous for now cuz my huby is a guest on this forum who comes to read n go. I don't want to blow my last chance of escaping with my baby. From what I have been passing through with my huby,and what I heard from my MIL last night,I dont need any1 to confirm it that this marriage is over. If I go in details to explain what I have suffered since I got married,u will ask me if I use charm to attract my husband into marrying me.

yetseyi:
Have you spoken to your hubby after the meeting, If yes what is he saying.

He refused picking my calls,n even if he picks up my dear,he will only deny Wat he told her n if I insist he will insult me n hang up.

My inlaws called a meeting last night to ask me if I am still interested in the marriage between their son and myself. in addition my MIL stated that her son told her some of the issues we had while courting and that he regrets marrying me,and the mum went on to say that sincerely if she knew all this earlier the marriage wudnt have been. "BUT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE" my MIL words... I was surprised at some of the issues she stated because my husband actually lied aganist me! It is very clear to me now that my husband is just not interested in the marriage again. But why did he choose to waste my life? Y me? My husband was and is my first love,the first man I knew,that would tell you how much I sacrificed to keep us together until today. When he proposed he said I was his better half,y the sudden hatred after marriage Obviously my baby is the only reason I am still sleeping under their roof!
The hardest part is that the catholic church doesn't grant divorce

Wow!!! Quite motivating

yetseyi:
@Juzzybabe please dont stress your self too much for the sake of your health. I cant even imagine the emotional stress you are passing through. I have had people that delivered via CS and @ 2 weeks you still need to be resting.
God strengthen you dear.
I really don't know what to say again dear.
It is well

Amen. Thanks dear

MiracleMum:
I've not heard of this sha and am not an agbo person, I detest it so much.

Ok. Thanks ma. Besides please can I go on multivitamin while breast feeding,my weight is encouraging and I lacks appetite as well. Thinking of helping myself with multivitamin but afraid it might affect my baby too. Pls advice

MiracleMum:
It happened to me, when I was drinking tea and taking pap mixed with milk. When I noticed I immediately stopped tea and now take pap with glucose alone.

Ok. A friend asked me to even drink local herb( agbo Jedi), she said through me the baby will be cleansed,have u heard of this too?

SalC:
The bold are the available dates, you can choose a date from those.

I will take 15th. Thanks

bossladyMo:
The major culprit is your intake of milk and milk products.

Really? You mean I shouldn't take milk? Cause I usually take pap mixed with milk...pls enlighten me more ma

Syncan:
Kindly click here https://www.nairaland.com/1464338/thread-catholics/353#33334909. That post and the next contains what you need to know. If you have any question after let me know, I'll be glad to explain.

Ok. Thanks I went thru it,if there is still any date yet to be picked pls fix me up

shndy:
Mothers, av u heard of ds, ppl making semo in d form of pap and feeding babies? And its nt cos of lack of money, infact d woman dt is doin ds is a banker. She said ds is what is in town nw, like seriously

It's not strange to me ooo,it's my favorite breakfast meal. Am sure it's gonna be good for babies too





Please mothers,my baby is 2weeks +,she's always having gas,and whenever am breast feeding her,her stomach usually boils and she would groan in pains and release a lousy poo or fart. Is there anything I may not be doing right that is causing it? If not,is there a remedy for such?'

Wow!!! Am feeling even stronger in spirit with the kind of love and encouragement am getting here. thanks to all

Humm...