₦airaland Forum

@Theblessed, why the huge font? Anyways, families do take advantage of it but it has been part of life for I don't even know how long and if you feeling like you are been sold then tell your parents not to involve you with it. For those many women who still respect tradition, it is not silly.

There are other ways to show/confirm that a marriage actually did taken place between two people e.g. what happened to the traditional wedding feast/party where people and the elders come together to bless the marriage and there's lots of foods to cook, eat, drink and dance in support and honour of the marriage, instead of asking for money

This still happens, don't know where you have been. . .

^^He is like that

Well now that is just been ignorant

@Mukina, I asked my wise mother(she was born before me) about the 4dalasis 25butut and she told me it was a price SOME mandinkas would ask for in the old days on top of the dowry for Gifts. And the 4dalasis 25butut differs from every mandinka family some asked for a higher price but she said it is rare to see families asking for 4dalasis 25bututs today. Economy is not what it use to be.
It was not the set price for the whole of Gambia and its tribes- Prices differ and gifts included.

mukina2:
the bride's family does not ask for gifts or money, the dowry price is 4dalasi 25 bututs thats where it start, that is the standard price, if anyone wishes to add more its up to them.Gifts and anything else is given as part of tradition but its not compulsory.
I do not think you are talking of Gambian tradition here,
anyways i wish you well with your list , no worries you groom will defly pay that and much more

No,I do not think you know about Gambian tradition-there is no standard price of 4dalasis and 25bututs its unthinkable especially in these economical times.

Thank, I know he will

[quote author=shy-one. link=topic=694530.msg8570563#msg8570563 date=1308766273]I say majority from my observation - as I get out alot and I get around alot.  From what I have seen and heard from many, many people.  It is popular opinion.  Ignorance plays no part.  My guy is one person and many times his thoughts also mirror the thought of those very long held popular opinions and beliefs as well.[/quote]Then what you should have said was majority from MY observation because I too could go and say African Americans are ghetto because majority I have met are but I will not because I have not met all and I have met some who are not.

emofine:
biko she is miss nigeria ooo by Gods grace

Seriously?

coogar:
your president should be arrested. paying 3 million dalasis to some in-laws. . . .what kind of a leader does that?

I don't know but I dont mind if spent on me hehe

mukina2:
didnt know you had added this, if the girl that got married is a virgin, (the morning after the wedding night) gifts,money will be given  and that too is just to appreciate the fact that she saved herself till marriage and  to make her feel special, but it is not mandatory.

The wedding or the morning after cannot hold unless the Dowry is paid off which is done before the wedding. The brides family will ask for money and gifts which the groom can negotiate and do whatever the bride's family ask for(including gifts as a dowry). If the bride is found to be a virgin and the groom wants to cherish her with gifts that is his own decision to(he does not have to) but if he is asked by the inlaws to bring gifts for the dowry he is meant to.

mukina2:
it has been like that way before you or  i were born
Whoever told you 250k or 3000 or 50k , or that list you put up there its not true simple.

its good you say thats YOUR   price not the price of the Gambian brideprice
my bestfriend is mandinka she got married in February, like i said dowry is 4 dalasis 25 bututs if the groom or his family feel like adding more money or any gifts its of their own freewill ma'am, it is not mandatory.
anywhere jare you know where to find me if you want wife

There is no exact bride price you understand, no standard nothing. . .The money price depends on what the bride's people negotiate. Maybe, your friend negotiated 4 dalasis and 25butut but don't mean its the set price.

Maybe in the 1700s when 4dalasis 25butut was alot of money.

@Ibime, I am giving you an example that if the president will pay D3,000000 it shows that the price is not cheap and the more you earn the more your inlaws will ask.

@The gifts, they will have to if the groom is asked. You cannot just expect to marry a bride especially a mandinka without bringing gifts as part of the dowry the parents will definitely ask for it.
And they can never know about the girl's virginity because the dowry is already paid before they get married. So the virginity and gift correlation is irrelevant.

Ibime:
@ Muki,

Thank you jare. Me sef I wonder which kain husband to pay D250k + build house for parents. Na lie o! Unless na Jammeh or Edward Singhateh daughter, I go tell the papa say make him marry hin daughter himself.

I might exageratted abit but that is my price   but it is not D4 dalasis and 25butut(All you can get with this is half tapalapa and butter)

I heard the president paid D3,000,000 for his new bride(dowry)

mukina2:
There  is a standard price my dear, it is 4 dalasis 25 bututs, like i said earlier people can add what they want to on their own freewill, it  is not mandatory.
All the other things you are talking of is not mandatory, it is if the groom feels like. the groom's family will give gifts/money  if the girl being married is a virgin, even that too is not mandatory.

You should have said your friend and generalised it.

Bride price in the gambia is 4 dalasis 25 butut.  
LoL go away

No it is not. . .Unless since I have been away(last year summer) they have reduced it to that amount no Bride parent will negotiate that amount.

mukina2:
this is not true . .

the standard dowry in the Gambia is 4 dalasis 25 bututs for ALL tribes excluding the fullahs ( i dunno about them but its defly not 250k)

You can add anything ontop if you want to but the standard amount is 4 dalasis 25 bubts, then kola nuts.

I dunno who gave you that story about dowry being different for rich and poor people.

you hear people will say nenet ak transu meaning 425 bututs

Goddamit- Actually the there is no standard price for a bride price in the Gambia- Its differs from each culture/family.
The average is about D3000(can be even more) depending on what the family asks for and also the other gifts the bride might ask for(agreed upon that is). (This all occurs at the "tying of the marriage"

The wedding day is set only if the Groom has paid off all the dowry.
There is no law that tells people to pay a dowry of 4dalasis 25 bututs for all tribes-if that is what the family ones they yes.

A close friend of mines' husband had to pay D6,000 and include the trunk of clothes, wooden bed, jewelries etc that is after the father accepted the Kolanuts

Btw, you did not hit a nerve just trying to tell you that  to use "Majority" is just you being ignorant.

Im not in Africa love.

@Shy_one,
OK, I don't give a cent. . I am going to move on. If you have a Nigerian man as a boyfriend why say majority do(Are you an exception)
Anyways goodluck with that mentality you have

He might be getting it off from the Nigerians living there. . .


There are loads of them there so I am not surprised.

mukina2:
hmmm would you please tell me what tribe(s) do this  

Don't worry its neither the Temne, Mende nor Limbas etc

Between the wollof, Mandinka, Jola, Serer, tukulors etc

^^Like someone mentioned before ask the person who introduce you to ask them the reasons why.

^^We don't have ashawos where im from. We are too classy for that

Tanji, Kanifing*

Oh, cool.

@SHYONE, No, don't get me wrong please I know there are Africans who want nothing to do with AA women but you cannot say majority do. Ofcourse, many who are brought up in Africa will prefer to marry an African but it does not mean they will not date an AA or if they fall in love to marry them.

I don't think is right for the OP to be advised not to reveal her AA background or not act it because its from there she will know who to run away from.

I referred to your comment as ignorant because even you are dating an African and if "the truth you refer to as AA find Africans ugly and African find AAs unattractive" IS the "truth" then I don't think you will be dating one

AA's many times see them as odd, ugly, superior-acting, poor enunciation skills, but very high intellect, academic achievement and financial success

.
I believe you put this in there for the sake of not enraging certain people.

As an African I look for other Africans but it don't mean if the opportunity arrives I will not date a Caucasian and Black British or try to run away from their advances. I think I have ran away from more African men then any other.

What I am trying to say is do not put Majority(Africans) or tell the OP to not "act" who she is. What, just to get a man? Please.

Emofine, the person on your profile is it a man or a woman?

Im not going to "ttyl" because you beat around the bush too much.

Ibime:
I hope you would be coming into marriage with some inheritance not just your bare palms then. If your family can sequestre me a property in Brufut, I wouldnt mind paying £30k for you sef!

Ofcourse, I won't be coming into a marriage with bare palms but I don't expect to pay for anything to do with my wedding. Do you live in the Gambia?