₦airaland Forum

The "I love you song" is killing me,

http://www.jaguda.com/2009/09/12/p-square-i-love-you/


Awesooooome!!!!

asha80 go to http://www.tvduck.com/

Remii:
I hope she is thanking God her luck, sha, some sold pure water and still selling roasted yam with their children taken over the pure water "outfit" some leaved in GRA and now selling pure water, so thank your star if you suffered young and living better now.

huh

Yes I watched Empty Coffin too. I loved it but I thought they could have done with a better ending. The script was so strong so I expected a powerful ending. In all, it was a wonderful move. A must watch.

What kind of embarrassment is this now?

LWKMD!!!!, , I can't stop laughing.LOLOLOLOL!!!!, yee!, My belle oooo!, Only Track 1 got me laughing so hard. The funny thing now is this image is now imprinted in my mind. Anytime I see any becomerich post, this image comes to mind. LOLOL!!!!!!

Source
http://lindaikeji..com/2009/09/adaeze-igwe-and-joseph-yobo-confirm.html


Adaeze Igwe, one of the most beautiful beauty queens in recent times is in a sizzling romance with top footballer, Joseph Yobo.
She confirmed her relationship with deputy captain of Nigeria's Super Eagles and top defender, Joseph Yobo of Everton. In her words "We are in a relationship and it is not one of those frivolous ones. It is a serious one that my mom even knows about. This is for real."

Abiola also spoke with the famous footballer who corroborated what Adaeze said. "It is definitely a love match of two celebrities. One an ex-beauty queen, while the other is a famous Nigerian footballer"

@ the bolded above

"Do you know that names like Palm Kernel, Michael Jackson, Iron etc were discovered on the ballot to have voted for Dr Olusegun Agagu in the 2007 elections in Ondo state? "

Yee!!! Mo gbe!!!, Palm kernel ke!!!, Nigeria we hail thee!!!

This was a response by someone to Dele Momodu's so-called article he wrote.

Dele Momodu; Please Up Your Game, Your Sh*t Is Weak!
^{by Feyi Fawehinmi}

Firstly; I cannot begin to tell you how terribly upset I am that I wasted 10 minutes of my life this morning reading the utter tripe of an article you submitted to ThisDay as your column last week.

Please break my heart and tell me you got paid for writing that steaming pile of dog poo? I stopped reading your nonsense a while ago but I somehow got sucked into reading this one.

But it's not all your fault. I blame Mr Nduka Obaigbena who seems to be unsure whether he wants ThisDay to be a serious newspaper or a light entertainment magazine. If your column was published in The Daily Star in between the pictures of the naked page 3 girls, I wouldnt much care. But you seem to want people to take your column seriously, which is what I have a problem with.

Dude, if we want to hear an allegory about the hunter and the antelope, we would watch Tales by Moonlight. We certainly dont want to pay N150 for a newspaper for us to listen to you talk to us as if we were impressionable children listening intently to the gentlemen who just returned from a sojourn abroad regaling them with tales which stretch the truth to breaking point.

I think you should be a bit more humble, your life is NOT that interesting. You need not tell us details of how you and your wife and child slept on a single bed in London. What you might have considered squalor at the time is to die for many children all over the world today. Besides what you went through is part of what forges the character of any man. You ate chicken in Cotonou? Really? I am happy for you.

Besides the majority of Nigerians who come to live and work in the UK almost always have exceedingly humble beginnings. It's the way the society is designed in case you hadnt noticed. The UK is not given to producing millionaires overnight unlike Nigeria. People are expected to work their way upwards on the social ladder.

We also do not care if you only ever met Madam Cecilia only once or thrice. In any case we have no way of verifying this information. However if you choose to make this information public, then I have a right to disbelieve it. So I am telling you now that I think you have met Mrs Ibru at least 15 times and that Intercontinental has advertised in Ovation in the past. What are you going to do about that?

Again, we do not care if you bought a second hand Bentley at 42. If you had friends who were jealous of you on account of that, then I suggest you upgrade the kind of friends you keep. What does it cost to drive a brand new car in the UK? If I wanted to drive a 2009 car today in the UK, I could do so by tomorrow, all I need to do is prove I can meet the monthly payments and I will drive away with the car dealer thanking me profusely. I cannot imagine any of my friends being jealous of me if I decide to buy a second hand Bentley. Stop fooling yourself, a second had car is never a sign of success in the UK.

I also notice the sly attempt to paint yourself as a martyr right up there with Dr Tai Solarin and Madam Due Process, Oby Ezekwesili. Nice try Bob Dee, pull the other one.

So now in your eyes all the bank MDs only made mistakes? Do you obtain your wisdom from the back of danfo buses in Lagos, you know the ones where they write 'nobody is above mistake'?

You talk about Sanusi going overboard and beyond his mandate. You then spectacularly fail to tell us what the said mandate is. Dude, you are not allowed to do that. If you are going to accuse the man of acting beyond what his powers allow or even counter to the national interest as you allege, you gotta back it up with facts. And what exactly do you mean by historical dialects? I know you studied Yoruba in University but seriously, get a grip.

Mr Dele Momodu are you saying that the impeachment of Governors [in the middle of the night as you claim] were all acts of scapegoatism?? Whatever it is you are drinking, I suggest you cease and desist from drinking it forthwith. It's clearly too strong.

For the first time in the history of Nigeria, there was a reckoning for politicians who felt they could get away with riding roughshod over the will of the people by brazenly rigging elections. Do you know that names like Palm Kernel, Michael Jackson, Iron etc were discovered on the ballot to have voted for Dr Olusegun Agagu in the 2007 elections in Ondo state? Are you saying that cheating to win an election is ok? Do you know of any serious democracy where rigging an election is ok?

In your view only a 'benevolent and visionary dictator and clear headed visionaries' can rid Nigeria of corruption. Wow. Dude please make up your mind are you a democrat or thugocrat? I dare say if a dictator were to appear on the scene in Nigeria today, you would be one of the first batch of people he would go after because of your specialty in glorifying all that's wrong with Nigeria. Please dont start feeling too cool with yourself just yet.

You talk about Sanusi not giving the bank MDs the opportunity of redemption. Gracious me, do you want a microphone and pulpit so you can deliver your 2009 version of The Sermon on The Mount? You dont even think they are guilty, so to slyly canvass for redemption for them is downright bizarre.

Dude, do you know that one of the best ways to fight corruption is to let people know and see that justice will be done if you are corrupt? If these MDs are guilty of the very serious crimes they have been accused of, do you have a problem with them doing the time for it? They are not poor men, they can hire the best lawyers to defend them AND they will get a chance to defend themselves in court which is very crucial. Mind you, a 'benevolent and visionary dictator', as you suggest, would probably just throw them in jail and leave them to rot there.

You say the government is a pathological debtor. Show me a country where the government is not a debtor. If the government stopped borrowing from the banks, how many of them do you think would survive one day? I am certain that you wouldnt know a government bond if it landed on your lap, stroked your chest hair and called you 'Bob Dee'. But remain ignorant if you wish, just dont spread the disease in your columns anymore.

You said the western govts rolled out 'workable packages' compared to our theatre of the absurd when dealing with the financial crisis. I will only slightly tolerate your ignorance as you appear to be suffering from what is called a 'fatal conceit' , trying to talk about something you couldnt possibly know anything about.

But I will give you just one example; At the height of the credit crunch the UK govt forced Lloyds TSB to takeover HBOS. HBOS was dead to all intents and purposes at the time but Lloyds was doing pretty ok as it hadnt taken on the kind of risks HBOS had. Over what has now come to be known as the most expensive glass of champagne ever, the deal was struck and Lloyds Banking Group was born.

So far this year, Lloyds has had to make writedowns of £13bn as a result of that unholy marriage that was orchestrated by the government. Not only that, it was revealed that Lloyds will have to close as much as 550 branches of Halifax it inherited with all the attendant job losses. When all those people lose their jobs, they wont pay any income tax. They will also start collecting benefits increasing the cost to the government.

If that's what you call a workable package, then please get in touch with me, there's a bridge linking Ikorodu and Lekki I want to sell to you for a good price.

You claim foreigners were not invited to take over the banks in America when they were teetering on the brink of collapse. Really? When Lehman Brothers went kaput, Barclays and Nomura were the vultures who were called in to split the carcass. Those banks are American I take it?

Ever the heard the name Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al-Nahyan before? Well he was the Abu Dhabi Prince who bailed out Barclays last October when the bank was doing everything possible to avoid taking a bailout from the UK government. He invested £7bn for an 11% stake in the bank last year and that literarily saved them from damnation. He also owns Manchester City Football Club for your information.

Dude, the world has changed. These days you take money from where you can find it. Do you have an idea of just how much the US owes China? The Hummer vehicle brand was sold to Sichuan Tengzhong by General Motors when it needed to raise cash. I could go on and on.

You throw about some Latin quotes in a bid to look smarter than you really are. You talk about the Nemo dat rule in relation to Sanusi, claiming he should not or could not have sacked the MDs. Mr Wannabe lawyer, I have news for you; Under Sections 33 and 35 of The Banks and Other Financial Institutions Act of the Nigerian consitution, Sanusi has the powers to sack bank MDs. So your nemo dis or nemo dat sh*t is weak! There is a reason why we have that law in Nigeria. It's because bank MDs sit tighter than Gaddafi in Libya, other than sacking them, there's almost no other way to remove them when they have been found to have done wrong.

You also quote the audi alteram partem rule which effectively says no one should be condemned WITHOUT being heard i.e due process must be followed. Except I am missing something, NONE of the bank MDs has yet been condemned, and they are currently getting a chance to be heard. So why are you wetting your pants getting overly excited?

These bank MDs have been accused of very serious crimes of borrowing people billions of naira of shareholders money without so much as taking a kolanut as collateral. Please keep quiet and let the whole drama play out. Life goes on, they will get their day in court and plenty more facts and evidence will be revealed. And I repeat; they will have access to the very best lawyers in the country, something the majority of Nigerians can only dream of.

Mr Momodu, you do not have a right to play fast and loose with the facts because you have the priviledge of a back page column in a national daily. As a journalist and member of the 4th estate, you have a duty to inform the public of the facts and as much as possible only give an opinion after you have throughly checked the facts.

At your level, ignorance is very dangerous and expensive, moreso in a country like Nigeria with all our myriad problems.

Your sh*t is weak dude, you need to up your game big time!

Stephanie Okereke launches new website. This chic is on FAYA!!!

http://www.stephanieokereke.net/home.html

Y'all need to check this out. Poor guy! LOL! , But if na me, I for woz my friend ooo

http://shakaratv.com/webisodes/the-good-samaritan.html

LOL @ Emorse. You know a girl's gotta give credit to whoever wrote this. It's a piece everyone should read.

Respect Love


To My Friends Who Are, SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,
but love's only special when you give it to someone who is worth it.
So take your time and choose the best!

To My Friends Who Are, NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person."
It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are, ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together
but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are, MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry",
not "where are you' but "I'm right here",
not "how could you" but "I understand",
not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

To My Friends Who Are, HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are, NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble,
be consistent but not too persistent,
share and never be unfair,
understand and try not to demand,
and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are, AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone.
It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.
But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are, POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else,
but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are, PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say I love if you don't care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.
Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
Never look in the eye when what you do is lie.
The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall.

To My Friends Who Are, STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you,
only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and we just have to let go.

To My Friends Who Are, SEARCHING
True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist,
nor can it be hidden where it truly does.
Love is magic.
The more we hide it, the more it shows;
the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

To All My Friends,
My wish for you is a Man/Woman whose love is:
Honest, Strong, Mature, Never-Changing, Protective, Encouraging, Rewarding and Unselfish. Good Luck!


Source: Unknown

I don't blame anyone who wants to study "abroad'. I did it too. Was supposed to spend 6 years in Architecture school (Bachelors + Masters) but bailed after my B.Sc because of the countless strikes and the end was nowhere in sight. Things you need to consider b4 studying "abroad".

1 .You need to define "abroad"!!!,  Once you cross naija border, is it classified as "abroad"? If so, you are on your own.


2.  I can tell you for free that there are some schools in the US and UK that are not worth going to as per the quality of education. A lot of people go there cos they take any Tom, D*** and Harry. If you can find your way there (getting a visa), and you have money to pay the fees, you're all set. All they want is your money. At least you can have an "abroad" certificate abi?

DISCLAIMER NOTE: Please bear in mind that some companies are aware that people just go to anyhow schools just to get that "abroad" certificate so if you go to the University of the "boondocks". Chances are it's not going to win you any special favours.


3.  Unless you really want to, or are trying to escape the ongoing ASUU strikes, Studying some courses "abroad" don't really make a lot of difference. If you are in the Technical/Technological and Medical field, yes, there's a HUGE advantage.


Finally, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't for once think that studying "abroad" gives you a free pass to a job in Naija. If you plan on returning to Naija. Get a little experience before coming back to strengthen your skill set and give yourself an advantage or else you are no different than the average Naija graduate. I can tell you again FOR FREE that I know some people who studied "abroad" and are still without work.

By Francis Ugwoke, 09.01.2009 - THISDAY NEWSPAPERS

The former Chief Executive Officer of Oceanic International Bank Plc, Mrs. Cecilia Ibru, collapsed yesterday in court after battling mosquitoes in the custody of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commis-sion (EFCC) where she spent last weekend.

Ibru had surrendered herself to the EFCC last Wednesday at the commission’s Lagos office and rather than release her after interrogation, she was detained throughout the weekend.

The former Oceanic Bank CEO slept on a mattress in a four-wall room in EFCC detention camp.

Ibru’s lawyer told THISDAY last night that because of lack of power and the fact that EFCC had no diesel for its generator, at 7pm most days the former Oceanic boss’ room would normally be infested with mosquitoes.

Although Ibru was with her doctor, Major-General Gabriel Ovadje (rtd), in detention, the doctor was, however, restricted to the waiting area downstairs, a heartbeat away from the detention room.

Efforts by the doctor to get the EFCC officials to make diesel available for the generator yielded no fruit as they were said to have insisted they had no such brief.

The former Oceanic CEO who has been married to Olorogun Michael Ibru for close to 45 years is used to comfort.

Ibru, who all along appeared stressed up, suddenly collapsed in the dock after 18 of the 25-count charge had been read to her.

The development, which caused panic in the court, stalled proceedings for about 10 minutes before her doctor, who had accompanied her to the court, attended to her and certified her fit to continue with the trial. 

EFCC could not be reached last night to react to the lack of power at their detention centre on Awolowo Road, Ikoyi.

http://www.thisdayonline.com/nview.php?id=153288

Please someone tell me this picture is not real!!! , I'm now traumatized. I think I need to go for counselling else I'd be scarred for life.

What are Sanusi's real motives please?  I think he's getting out of control and should be called to order. This is becoming very suspicious. If in one week the banks were able to yield 44.7 billion from those defunct loans and he's suggesting the sale of the 5 banks at the investors forum in London without a grace period, it sounds like witch-hunting to me.

Note the bolded excerpt from the post:

" But one of the foreign investors who spoke to Vanguard at about 8 pm yesterday on phone from London said that a pre-selection of the foreign investors was done by the CBN in July even before the announcement of August 14."

This sounds like a well concocted plan right from the beginning. 

CBN to sell five bailed banks 100% to foreign investors
HeadlinesAug 29, 2009
By Omoh Gabriel with Agency report - VANGUARD NEWSPAPERS

CBN Governor Sanusi Lamido Sanusi said in London yesterday that the apex bank was ready to sell Union Bank, Intercontinental, Oceanic, Afribank and FinBank, 100 per cent to foreign investors.  But one of the foreign investors who spoke to Vanguard at about 8 pm yesterday on phone from London said that a pre-selection of the foreign investors was done by the CBN in July even before the announcement of August 14.

He stated that at the time of speaking with the paper the CBN team was meeting with each of those pre selected foreign investor whom he described as representing the interest of some powerful political power brokers in the country.
Sanusi who was quoted by Reuters while speaking in London at the conference the CBN governor called to reassure counter-party banks and foreign investors about the bailout said that he would not “stand in the way of any foreign banks taking a 100 per cent stake in the five Nigerian institutions”. The CBN also said that the five banks will be run as going concerns until new investors can be found to recapitalise them.

According to Reuters ,, the CBN governor said that “The banking sector is key to Nigeria’s economic prospects and that the nation will see economic growth of five percent this year, rising to double-digit rates from 2010 as its banking sector strengthens again after a $2.6 billion bailout.
Addressing international banks, lenders and rating agencies in London, Sanusi said that Nigeria economy was likely to expand 5 per cent in the second half of 2009 after growing at a similar pace between January and June. “I have no doubts that by 2010-2011 we will be looking at double digit growth in Nigeria. We were growing at 6 per cent without electricity, without peace in the Niger Delta,” Sanusi said, referring to unrest in the country’s oil heartland. “We are a country of 150 million people, but with only 23 million bank accounts. So there is a lot of room for growth.”
The Central Bank two weeks ago injected N400 billion into five banks and sacked their senior management, saying lax governance had left them so weakly capitalised that they posed a systemic risk.
According to him private sector credit outstripped the entire spending of the country’s federal, state and local governments last year and this year banks are expected to provide much of the government’s estimated N1.6 trillion borrowing needs.
Sanusi’s bailout, just two months after he took office at the helm of the regulator, shocked corporate Nigeria and initially panicked financial markets, sending the naira currency lower and triggering a stock market sell-off.  S&P cut Nigeria’s speculative sovereign long-term foreign currency credit rating one notch to B-plus from BB-minus last week, citing the costly bank bailout and falling oil revenues.
“We have peace in the Niger Delta, inflation has been coming down. If the downgrade had come 3-4 months back it would have been more understandable,” he said.
Before the bank bailout he forecast that Nigeria’s economy would likely expand by 5 per cent this year, but analysts in a Reuters poll this week predicted a  3.6 percent growth. He told the London conference that non-oil GDP growth should be “robust” at above 6 percent this year, and projected an inflation rate of 9 percent at the end of the year.
Nigeria’s consumer inflation dipped to 11.1 percent year-on-year in July from 11.2 percent the previous month. Sanusi cut interest rates to 6 percent from 8 percent in July, following his first monetary policy meeting as governor. He also said Nigeria would get $2.8 billion in special drawing rights from the International Monetary Fund this year”.
It will be recalled that on March 23 this year Vanguard reported that Anti consolidation forces have regrouped with the hope of dissembling the banks and forcing a take over of the top five banks in the country. The grand plan by the group is to cause panic and uncertainty in the industry and make the target banks look unsafe for depositors.
Their aim, Vanguard gathered, is to cause loss of public confidence in the banking industry and compel the Federal Government to move in by injecting funds. Further, they ultimately plan to instigate government to take equity holdings in the targeted banks.
Vanguard investigations revealed that the group at work is made up of former bank owners who lost out during the consolidation exercise, a powerful clique in the present government, and some aggrieved persons in three of the six geopolitical zones in the country who felt left out in the consolidation exercise.
Presidency sources disclosed that those who felt left out in the consolidation exercise are grieved and are up in arms to recoup what they felt they lost during Obasanjo years.
Part of the plan hatched by the group is to ensure that incumbent Central Bank governor, Professor Charles Soludo does not get a second term. The plan is also to ensure that what ever gains that consolidation had is discredited. This it was learnt was meant to force the President to act quickly in matter  of   appointment of a successor to Soludo as they anticipate that the president’s slow move may scuttle their dreams and cause the renewal of Soludo appointment for a second term.
The group second game plan is to make Nigerian banks look un safe in the eye of the banking public. They have perfected their game by spreading rumour that some categories of banks are unsound and are on the verge of collapse.
The group is using this means to make depositors panic and undertake massive withdrawal of funds from the targeted banks in attempt to cause liquidity problem in the bank. In that state they hope to cause a take over by the government which may buy a stake in the bank and later sell to these privileged group who may be appointed in the interim into the board of these banks.

PART 2 - She's Just Not That Into You.
By Adora Ikwuemesi
http://thecuriouscaseofmylife..com/2009/06/shes-just-not-that-into-you.html


Yes you read correctly, it wasn’t a typo! After basking in the glory of the insights learned for the movie ‘he’s just not that into you’ and my previous article on the same title, I figured that it isn’t always about women being vulnerable and men being the emotionally stronger sex. Men need help too. For a lot of women and I speak using my own experiences, I believe that for every guy that’s just not into you there’s a guy in the same scene that you’re just not into.

For every time I have been single and toyed with the possibility of being in a relationship especially in the driest of seasons when there was just no eligible bachelor on the scene, there was always the one guy in the least that I just wasn’t into. Since we are referring to a particular movie here, I will draw examples from the movie and then from personal experience.

If you read the first article you would be familiar with the characters Gorgeous Single Girl (SG) and Scrumptious Married Man (MM). For the sake of those who missed the preceding article, I will summarise. SG is smitten by MM, pursues him based on some silly belief that MM may be the love of her life and she may be the exception to the rule i.e. the one whom the married man leaves his family for. SG and MM begin an affair which ends miserably for both parties.

I will like to introduce another character who I will call Not My Type (NT). NT is really into SG and has been prior to her affair with MM. NT often calls SG, who in turn occasionally visits NT at his home, flirts with him, tells him sweet nothings and leaves him hanging high and dry often with a ‘hard on’. SG likes to cuddle and kiss NT but that’s as far as it ever goes. She has had sex with him once before but hasn’t ever since. Thanks to caller ID she doesn’t pick up his calls most of the time and when she does and says she’ll call him back, she never does. NT cannot understand why SG gives him mixed signals. To him it’s obvious she likes him on the one hand but on the other hand it’s obvious she just doesn’t ‘like him like that’. He cannot understand why they cannot make it official as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Now in my experience after assessing guys based on whatever criteria, there are 2 broad categories of guys that I am not into and I will refer to them as Mr. No Sparks (NS) and Mr. No No (NN).

NS, we spend time together, we talk on the phone, I sleep on his couch, spend the night at his house, dance with him at the party, wear his t-shirts, sit on his lap but that’s the limit. I don’t want anything more or want him to ask for anything more because the likely response will be ‘but I thought you were my brother’. He’s the kind of guy you feel safe with but there’s really little or no attraction to tip the tables. The signals here are mixed, green-light, green-light, red-light!

To the NS man, I realize this may appear really frustrating but I would say to you, if this woman is worth pursuing based on your assessment of her, then tarry a while. A lot of women connect emotionally and being able to spend a lot of time comfortably in your presence is usually a good sign that you have passed many other assessment areas hence the green-light. However, there are two things that potentially will keep a guy in the NS state; the first is that he may be lacking in a fantasy sometimes fundamental criteria of hers, so she is re-assessing whether or not she can compromise on the criteria. While she makes up her mind, this could take some time, hence green-light, red-light. Count yourself lucky if she tells you what the criteria is as you will be amazed the kinds of criteria women have for their would-be men (another article). However, if you cannot meet the criteria set and it appears to be fundamental to her, you may be fighting a losing battle as she may string you along till her fantasy man arrives. It will be useful for a NS guy to find out early on if he falls under this category of NS that holds little prospects. The second reason which has a greater likelihood of success but can keep a guy in the NS state is that she’s just not attracted to you enough. So telling her how much you like her or asking her out early on won’t do the trick, she already knows that you like her. Your telling her again, would probably freak her out and bring on another of those ‘I see you as a brother’ conversations. I would suggest you need to do a better job of building chemistry and rapport with her. She must discover for herself that she likes you even before you tell her.

To establish whether or not she may have more feelings for you than she realizes, you need to create circumstances to test the waters. The best relationships I have had had started off as No Sparks (NS), so I really feel there is hope for turning a NS into a real relationship. When there is no fundamental criteria issue, the tipping point is usually the level of attraction. To build chemistry and rapport you must sow seeds of romantic thoughts and affiliations. Romantic feelings are the difference between the perpetual friend and the would-be lover. So the sooner the feelings are established, the better for all. So Mr. NS, a few tips to tip her over;

1. Be flirtatious. Try flirting with her and see how she reacts to it. The problem with nice guys is they are too nice and not naughty and this gives the impression of being a wonderful friend. Flirting should be playful and fun; a tickle, a playful smack, but something that allows you test the waters while allowing you hide under the pretext of a joke if things should go wrong. If she flirts back, green-light!
2. Touch subtlely. Don’t go grabbing her behind! When you meet up with her, make some physical contact for a few seconds but make sure it’s not somewhere uncomfortable. Try holding her hand for a few seconds if she likes it, she will snuggle up or have a sudden insight of ‘I like that’, green light! If she struggles to let go please leave her, red light!
3. Create some distance. Make yourself scarce. Do this especially when it’s been going on for months. Try spending the whole day with her then non for few days, then more again. Same with the phone calls. Let her miss you. Your disappearance will give her time to think about you. If she really has feelings for you; she will come looking for you, green light! If you don’t hear from her, red light!
4. Smell good, look good. I wish I could say this 5 times. Women are not attracted to men that smell funky or look unkempt. Dress neatly and smartly. Invest in anti-perspirant deodorant. It’s amazing that in this day and age some guys are still being reminded about this. I had a personal struggle with a guy on this one and he looked amazing but his smell just could not allow us pass GO. I tried telling him subtly but I guess old habits die hard! If she tells you that you look nice or smell good. Double green light! Proceed!
5. Anchor with happiness. Let her associate you with fun and happiness; that will make her see you as a positive aspect in her life. Invite her or take her out to fun places like parties or places she enjoys. Call her when she’s feeling down, be there for her but do not be the one who is always there for her at sad moments. That’ the job of her girl friends.
6. Ask her out! Only after you have established that she likes you and would consider taking it further. If you are still unsure, ask her in a light hearted manner what she thinks of you and her being a couple. If she reacts positively, there you go, green-light!

NNs on the other hand, I have no interest in whatsoever. In my mind, for whatever reason relationship wise, there is no possibility of progress. There is often just something about this guy that just rubs me the wrong way. If he pushes, I may even get irritated and scream! The more NN tries the more irritated I get. The problem with the NN is that he doesn’t listen. The signs are there loud and clear but he creates his own agenda and pursues it. Everything he is told lands on deaf ears so he continues his purposeless mission until he exhausts himself. There was once a guy that was convinced I was his wife and his persistence only annoyed me even more. Surely if there was an atom of truth in his prophesy my heart would change towards him but the areas of incompatibility were so deep rooted that I felt like strangling him every time he mentioned his conviction. Yes, I can change from lukewarm to hot about a guy but I haven’t yet gone from cold to hot. When I am at cold that’s usually what the thought of him does to me; turns me ice cold. He pursued until I literally had to scream ‘Stop! you are making me ill’.

There are only a few things more frustrating for a woman than being pursued by a NN. It is very similar to being trailed by a stalker. There is a clear distinction between a NS and a NN. If you are a NS, she actually likes you and spends time with you and talking to you. If she doesn’t spend time with you or spend time talking to you, you are a NN make no mistake of that. Leave her alone.

A woman’s green light may be tricky but her red-light should not be disregarded. One red-light signal may mean a ‘proceed with caution’ but several doses of these are clear signals of a definite No No;

1. She’s not returning your calls. She may not call you but not returning your calls is plain rude and a clear ‘I am not interested’ signal. If she’s playing games, even worse, you should think twice whether this is the type of girl you want to be spending time with. Flashing red-light!
2. She’s giving you monotonous responses on the phone or by email. Women like to talk especially to men the are interested in. One word answers mean ‘I am not interested in letting you know me and I am not interested in knowing you either.’ This is one signal I wish all guys would understand quicker. Double red-light!
3. She’s inflexible and too busy to fit you into her schedule. It is not unusual for a woman to clear her whole day’s schedule just to be available for one hour with a man she is clearly interested in. Red-light!
4. She declines gifts, never lets you do her any favors – or she repays them immediately. This is a sign she knows you’re into her, and she doesn’t want to feel indebted or obligated to you. Most women love receiving gifts and if she declines or doesn't acknowledge the gesture there isn’t a clearer signal that she is not interested. Proceed with caution!
5. She agrees to go out with you but cancels at the last minute. If she has cancelled on you a few times. Hint, hint, you are just back up.
6. You don’t hear from her for weeks or months at a time, and then she calls out of the blues to hang out. Chances are she is bored and you are the very last resort. You’re worse than back up.
7. She’s trying to hook you up with her friends or talking about how attractive other women are. This is a sure sign she is trying to deflect your attention from herself to another woman. Not a good sign.
8. She’s talking to you about other men she is interested in. This is really a hopeless situation and if she’s doing this because she’s playing games, again I ask is this the kind of woman you really want to be with.
9. She says ‘maybe’ to a date scheduled 2 weeks in advance. She’s just being polite, she’s not interested.
10. She tells you that she just wants to be friends or that she thinks of you as a brother (much worse). This means that she doesn’t find you attractive. She enjoys your company but she does not want to sleep with you. Sorry dear.
11. She finds every reason to argue with you and then puts the blame on you. She’s trying to justify why you’re so wrong for her. Please help her leave you. Run!
12. She puts you down in public, shouts at you or rolls her eyes in contempt. Wow! She has no respect for you whatsoever so please just leave her alone.
13. She doesn't laugh at your jokes. She either doesn't get your sense of humor, which means you probably aren't compatible or you are really rubbing her the wrong way. When women are interested, everything about you is funny. She will laugh even when it isn’t funny.
14. She says ‘I am not interested in you’. Unlike a lot of things women say, it is wise to take this literally. This phrase may come in many different forms such as: ‘I don't like you’, ‘I don't want to date you’, I don't want to have a relationship with you, ‘leave me alone’, ‘stop calling me’, the options are endless. The fact is she is NOT playing hard to get, so cut your losses and move on.

Now for the NS guy there is an additional aspect which should not be brushed aside. I wouldn’t be fair if I did not address it (ladies, I am sorry). It usually borders around another guy being in the picture. I like to refer to this other guy as a distraction; someone else whom a woman is attracted to and perhaps hopeful will blossom into something more. For me, it is one thing juggling a bunch of unserious men but it is very difficult to give more than one serious guy my undivided attention, even if we are still exploring possibilities. One of the relationships must suffer for the other to thrive. I tell my male friends not to underestimate the power of competition. If there’s a distraction, the signals can be very similar to red-light. If the distraction appears midway in the pursuit there may be a sudden change in her behavior and availability. Whereas the issue is not so much a ‘not interested’ but a ‘not interested right now’ which I liken to a busy signal on the telephone, ‘the lines are busy, please try again later.’ I have experienced this first hand and seen this happen with several women where after the distraction disappears, the scales finally drop off their eyes. A bit like what happens with SG and NT in the movie. When the affair with MM goes horribly wrong, she reverts to NT, who at this time has summoned up the courage to lay his cards on the table, and ask SG out one more time and to his shock, SG agrees to be his girlfriend without much fuss. Now of course the rest of us know that this behavior is due to a certain MM being out of the picture and a love guru once said that ‘the best cure for a lost love is another love.’

Nevertheless, when there’s a distraction, the signals can be red-light, so I would still suggest you move on and if you still haven’t found what you are looking for after some time has elapsed then you may try again at a later date when the outcome of the situation with the distraction is clearer.

They say women are interesting characters, I agree. If you are a NN, you are not her type, you are bringing out the worst in her or she has given you multiple doses of red-light signals then please leave her alone. If you are a NS, look out for 3 things; the criteria, do you meet it? The level of attraction, can you increase it? The distraction, will you compete or call back later? But more often than not, I suspect that she is just not attracted to you enough, so there is still hope. Again, I speak for myself, as long as woman spends time with you and time talking to you, she actually likes you, maybe not enough but she does anyway. Try focusing on building chemistry and rapport with her. Take control of the relationship, flirt with her a little and see how she reacts to it. If she flirts back, you are well on your way, if the signals are multiple red-lights then please consider calling it a day but whatever the circumstances, don’t be a push-over, remain confident, be a gentleman, treat her like a lady always and maybe, just maybe she’ll be yours.

She's Just Not That Into You.
By Adora Ikwuemesi
http://thecuriouscaseofmylife..com/2009/06/shes-just-not-that-into-you.html


Yes you read correctly, it wasn’t a typo! After basking in the glory of the insights learned for the movie ‘he’s just not that into you’ and my previous article on the same title, I figured that it isn’t always about women being vulnerable and men being the emotionally stronger sex. Men need help too. For a lot of women and I speak using my own experiences, I believe that for every guy that’s just not into you there’s a guy in the same scene that you’re just not into.

For every time I have been single and toyed with the possibility of being in a relationship especially in the driest of seasons when there was just no eligible bachelor on the scene, there was always the one guy in the least that I just wasn’t into. Since we are referring to a particular movie here, I will draw examples from the movie and then from personal experience.

If you read the first article you would be familiar with the characters Gorgeous Single Girl (SG) and Scrumptious Married Man (MM). For the sake of those who missed the preceding article, I will summarise. SG is smitten by MM, pursues him based on some silly belief that MM may be the love of her life and she may be the exception to the rule i.e. the one whom the married man leaves his family for. SG and MM begin an affair which ends miserably for both parties.

I will like to introduce another character who I will call Not My Type (NT). NT is really into SG and has been prior to her affair with MM. NT often calls SG, who in turn occasionally visits NT at his home, flirts with him, tells him sweet nothings and leaves him hanging high and dry often with a ‘hard on’. SG likes to cuddle and kiss NT but that’s as far as it ever goes. She has had sex with him once before but hasn’t ever since. Thanks to caller ID she doesn’t pick up his calls most of the time and when she does and says she’ll call him back, she never does. NT cannot understand why SG gives him mixed signals. To him it’s obvious she likes him on the one hand but on the other hand it’s obvious she just doesn’t ‘like him like that’. He cannot understand why they cannot make it official as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Now in my experience after assessing guys based on whatever criteria, there are 2 broad categories of guys that I am not into and I will refer to them as Mr. No Sparks (NS) and Mr. No No (NN).

NS, we spend time together, we talk on the phone, I sleep on his couch, spend the night at his house, dance with him at the party, wear his t-shirts, sit on his lap but that’s the limit. I don’t want anything more or want him to ask for anything more because the likely response will be ‘but I thought you were my brother’. He’s the kind of guy you feel safe with but there’s really little or no attraction to tip the tables. The signals here are mixed, green-light, green-light, red-light!

To the NS man, I realize this may appear really frustrating but I would say to you, if this woman is worth pursuing based on your assessment of her, then tarry a while. A lot of women connect emotionally and being able to spend a lot of time comfortably in your presence is usually a good sign that you have passed many other assessment areas hence the green-light. However, there are two things that potentially will keep a guy in the NS state; the first is that he may be lacking in a fantasy sometimes fundamental criteria of hers, so she is re-assessing whether or not she can compromise on the criteria. While she makes up her mind, this could take some time, hence green-light, red-light. Count yourself lucky if she tells you what the criteria is as you will be amazed the kinds of criteria women have for their would-be men (another article). However, if you cannot meet the criteria set and it appears to be fundamental to her, you may be fighting a losing battle as she may string you along till her fantasy man arrives. It will be useful for a NS guy to find out early on if he falls under this category of NS that holds little prospects. The second reason which has a greater likelihood of success but can keep a guy in the NS state is that she’s just not attracted to you enough. So telling her how much you like her or asking her out early on won’t do the trick, she already knows that you like her. Your telling her again, would probably freak her out and bring on another of those ‘I see you as a brother’ conversations. I would suggest you need to do a better job of building chemistry and rapport with her. She must discover for herself that she likes you even before you tell her.

To establish whether or not she may have more feelings for you than she realizes, you need to create circumstances to test the waters. The best relationships I have had had started off as No Sparks (NS), so I really feel there is hope for turning a NS into a real relationship. When there is no fundamental criteria issue, the tipping point is usually the level of attraction. To build chemistry and rapport you must sow seeds of romantic thoughts and affiliations. Romantic feelings are the difference between the perpetual friend and the would-be lover. So the sooner the feelings are established, the better for all. So Mr. NS, a few tips to tip her over;

1. Be flirtatious. Try flirting with her and see how she reacts to it. The problem with nice guys is they are too nice and not naughty and this gives the impression of being a wonderful friend. Flirting should be playful and fun; a tickle, a playful smack, but something that allows you test the waters while allowing you hide under the pretext of a joke if things should go wrong. If she flirts back, green-light!
2. Touch subtlely. Don’t go grabbing her behind! When you meet up with her, make some physical contact for a few seconds but make sure it’s not somewhere uncomfortable. Try holding her hand for a few seconds if she likes it, she will snuggle up or have a sudden insight of ‘I like that’, green light! If she struggles to let go please leave her, red light!
3. Create some distance. Make yourself scarce. Do this especially when it’s been going on for months. Try spending the whole day with her then non for few days, then more again. Same with the phone calls. Let her miss you. Your disappearance will give her time to think about you. If she really has feelings for you; she will come looking for you, green light! If you don’t hear from her, red light!
4. Smell good, look good. I wish I could say this 5 times. Women are not attracted to men that smell funky or look unkempt. Dress neatly and smartly. Invest in anti-perspirant deodorant. It’s amazing that in this day and age some guys are still being reminded about this. I had a personal struggle with a guy on this one and he looked amazing but his smell just could not allow us pass GO. I tried telling him subtly but I guess old habits die hard! If she tells you that you look nice or smell good. Double green light! Proceed!
5. Anchor with happiness. Let her associate you with fun and happiness; that will make her see you as a positive aspect in her life. Invite her or take her out to fun places like parties or places she enjoys. Call her when she’s feeling down, be there for her but do not be the one who is always there for her at sad moments. That’ the job of her girl friends.
6. Ask her out! Only after you have established that she likes you and would consider taking it further. If you are still unsure, ask her in a light hearted manner what she thinks of you and her being a couple. If she reacts positively, there you go, green-light!

NNs on the other hand, I have no interest in whatsoever. In my mind, for whatever reason relationship wise, there is no possibility of progress. There is often just something about this guy that just rubs me the wrong way. If he pushes, I may even get irritated and scream! The more NN tries the more irritated I get. The problem with the NN is that he doesn’t listen. The signs are there loud and clear but he creates his own agenda and pursues it. Everything he is told lands on deaf ears so he continues his purposeless mission until he exhausts himself. There was once a guy that was convinced I was his wife and his persistence only annoyed me even more. Surely if there was an atom of truth in his prophesy my heart would change towards him but the areas of incompatibility were so deep rooted that I felt like strangling him every time he mentioned his conviction. Yes, I can change from lukewarm to hot about a guy but I haven’t yet gone from cold to hot. When I am at cold that’s usually what the thought of him does to me; turns me ice cold. He pursued until I literally had to scream ‘Stop! you are making me ill’.

There are only a few things more frustrating for a woman than being pursued by a NN. It is very similar to being trailed by a stalker. There is a clear distinction between a NS and a NN. If you are a NS, she actually likes you and spends time with you and talking to you. If she doesn’t spend time with you or spend time talking to you, you are a NN make no mistake of that. Leave her alone.

A woman’s green light may be tricky but her red-light should not be disregarded. One red-light signal may mean a ‘proceed with caution’ but several doses of these are clear signals of a definite No No;

1. She’s not returning your calls. She may not call you but not returning your calls is plain rude and a clear ‘I am not interested’ signal. If she’s playing games, even worse, you should think twice whether this is the type of girl you want to be spending time with. Flashing red-light!
2. She’s giving you monotonous responses on the phone or by email. Women like to talk especially to men the are interested in. One word answers mean ‘I am not interested in letting you know me and I am not interested in knowing you either.’ This is one signal I wish all guys would understand quicker. Double red-light!
3. She’s inflexible and too busy to fit you into her schedule. It is not unusual for a woman to clear her whole day’s schedule just to be available for one hour with a man she is clearly interested in. Red-light!
4. She declines gifts, never lets you do her any favors – or she repays them immediately. This is a sign she knows you’re into her, and she doesn’t want to feel indebted or obligated to you. Most women love receiving gifts and if she declines or doesn't acknowledge the gesture there isn’t a clearer signal that she is not interested. Proceed with caution!
5. She agrees to go out with you but cancels at the last minute. If she has cancelled on you a few times. Hint, hint, you are just back up.
6. You don’t hear from her for weeks or months at a time, and then she calls out of the blues to hang out. Chances are she is bored and you are the very last resort. You’re worse than back up.
7. She’s trying to hook you up with her friends or talking about how attractive other women are. This is a sure sign she is trying to deflect your attention from herself to another woman. Not a good sign.
8. She’s talking to you about other men she is interested in. This is really a hopeless situation and if she’s doing this because she’s playing games, again I ask is this the kind of woman you really want to be with.
9. She says ‘maybe’ to a date scheduled 2 weeks in advance. She’s just being polite, she’s not interested.
10. She tells you that she just wants to be friends or that she thinks of you as a brother (much worse). This means that she doesn’t find you attractive. She enjoys your company but she does not want to sleep with you. Sorry dear.
11. She finds every reason to argue with you and then puts the blame on you. She’s trying to justify why you’re so wrong for her. Please help her leave you. Run!
12. She puts you down in public, shouts at you or rolls her eyes in contempt. Wow! She has no respect for you whatsoever so please just leave her alone.
13. She doesn't laugh at your jokes. She either doesn't get your sense of humor, which means you probably aren't compatible or you are really rubbing her the wrong way. When women are interested, everything about you is funny. She will laugh even when it isn’t funny.
14. She says ‘I am not interested in you’. Unlike a lot of things women say, it is wise to take this literally. This phrase may come in many different forms such as: ‘I don't like you’, ‘I don't want to date you’, I don't want to have a relationship with you, ‘leave me alone’, ‘stop calling me’, the options are endless. The fact is she is NOT playing hard to get, so cut your losses and move on.

Now for the NS guy there is an additional aspect which should not be brushed aside. I wouldn’t be fair if I did not address it (ladies, I am sorry). It usually borders around another guy being in the picture. I like to refer to this other guy as a distraction; someone else whom a woman is attracted to and perhaps hopeful will blossom into something more. For me, it is one thing juggling a bunch of unserious men but it is very difficult to give more than one serious guy my undivided attention, even if we are still exploring possibilities. One of the relationships must suffer for the other to thrive. I tell my male friends not to underestimate the power of competition. If there’s a distraction, the signals can be very similar to red-light. If the distraction appears midway in the pursuit there may be a sudden change in her behavior and availability. Whereas the issue is not so much a ‘not interested’ but a ‘not interested right now’ which I liken to a busy signal on the telephone, ‘the lines are busy, please try again later.’ I have experienced this first hand and seen this happen with several women where after the distraction disappears, the scales finally drop off their eyes. A bit like what happens with SG and NT in the movie. When the affair with MM goes horribly wrong, she reverts to NT, who at this time has summoned up the courage to lay his cards on the table, and ask SG out one more time and to his shock, SG agrees to be his girlfriend without much fuss. Now of course the rest of us know that this behavior is due to a certain MM being out of the picture and a love guru once said that ‘the best cure for a lost love is another love.’

Nevertheless, when there’s a distraction, the signals can be red-light, so I would still suggest you move on and if you still haven’t found what you are looking for after some time has elapsed then you may try again at a later date when the outcome of the situation with the distraction is clearer.

They say women are interesting characters, I agree. If you are a NN, you are not her type, you are bringing out the worst in her or she has given you multiple doses of red-light signals then please leave her alone. If you are a NS, look out for 3 things; the criteria, do you meet it? The level of attraction, can you increase it? The distraction, will you compete or call back later? But more often than not, I suspect that she is just not attracted to you enough, so there is still hope. Again, I speak for myself, as long as woman spends time with you and time talking to you, she actually likes you, maybe not enough but she does anyway. Try focusing on building chemistry and rapport with her. Take control of the relationship, flirt with her a little and see how she reacts to it. If she flirts back, you are well on your way, if the signals are multiple red-lights then please consider calling it a day but whatever the circumstances, don’t be a push-over, remain confident, be a gentleman, treat her like a lady always and maybe, just maybe she’ll be yours.

PART 1 - He's Just Not That Into You.
By Adora Ikwuemesi
http://thecuriouscaseofmylife..com/2009/06/hes-just-not-that-into-youto-me-its.html


He’s just not that into you…To me it’s pretty clear what the phrase means. There’s no uncertainty there. A few years ago while watching the Oprah show; it featured a man, who was the writer of a book by the same title. He basically had one point, summed up around the notion that when a man is truly interested in a woman, he goes out of his way to show it. She does not have to second guess or have any reason to doubt whether he likes her or not. It is clear to her and it is clear to everyone else. Towards the end of the show, there was a question and answer session where different women in the audience asked the writer for his opinion on their relationship issues. One by one they emptied their treasure chests, challenging their doubts and asking questions which women are sometimes too scared to ask for fear of knowing the painful truth. When all was said and done, all answers ended on the same note… ‘He’s just not that into you’. That was five years ago and the phrase stuck.

Being an avid reader, I own a copy of the book subtitled ‘the no excuses truth to understanding guys’. From the first time I saw the movie previewed, I had looked forward to seeing the movie. I eventually saw the movie a couple of days ago and if I picked up one thing from the movie it is this; ‘Give people advice based on the rule not the exception’. Now let me explain this new insight using the example from the movie and from personal experience.

The movie example goes like this; Gorgeous Single Girl (SG) meets Scrumptious Married Man (MM) at the supermarket. They strike a conversation; SG finds MM truly scrumptious and proceeds to arrange another meeting with MM using the reason of him helping her get ahead in her career. MM obviously attracted to SG and enjoying the attention, tells SG he is married. SG slightly embarrassed, retorts with something along the lines of ‘I didn’t know married people couldn’t have friends’. MM tries to explain that he’s just being careful, after all it’s better to be safe than sorry. MM has obviously done a mental check and has come to the conclusion that Gorgeous SG is a temptation he cannot resist. At this point, it is obvious that SG’s ego has been bruised by MM who has made his stance very clear. SG however requests for his business card and they part ways.

Time passes by, maybe days, maybe weeks. SG meets up with a friend whom we will call FF and relays how she met this fantastic guy at the supermarket. SG goes on to explain how great this guy is and the only problem is that he is married. It is clear to me that SG has decided to rule out Mr. Gorgeous MM based on his marital status which is what society at large teaches us is the decent thing to do. So what happens next? In a conversation that is geared to inspire SG, FF begins to relay a story pertaining to another friend of hers. She tells SG of her friend who meets an unhappily married man who eventually breaks up with his wife and marries her friend. FF explains that her friend and the previously unhappily married man have since been happily married for over 20 years. FF ends the pep talk by saying,

‘What if you meet the love of your life but you're already married to someone else? Are you supposed to let true love pass you by?’ SG replies saying ‘You're right. I'm gonna call him.’

So SG dashes off to call MM, who is still all, ‘I can't. I'm married.’ Saddened by another rejection, the conversation ends between SG and MM. By now, it’s already too late because the train is already moving at high speed and you guessed right, it has no brakes. Thoughts and fantasies have given birth in the mind of MM. What seems like a strong, faithful married man, crashes in the next few scenes as he calls SG back and arranges to meet her. I do not need to tell you that this was the beginning of an affair that spiraled into an unhappy ending for all involved.

Now what just happened here between SG and her friend FF is typical of women and their friends and the kind of unhealthy advice that women are guilty of giving themselves. Giving each other hope in situations where we should be giving practical advice linked to ‘the rule’ not ‘the exception’. What is the probability of a married man leaving his wife for a mistress? In every 1000 cases of unfaithful married men, how many have left their wives and lived happily ever after with their mistresses? Now why would anyone, no matter how much of an optimist they are, give another person that kind of advice? With sincere conviction, I believe that the advice given to SG backed by the story of an exceptional case was a major reason why SG called MM in the first place. Yes, I know people are adults and can think for themselves but we do look unto our friends for advice that may or may not inform our decision. Ok maybe this example had moral insinuations because there is a married person involved so let’s take another example of single people. In fact, let’s take a personal experience. Please note that, I am a woman like any other and I have often held unto the exception story and clung unto it for hope that I will be the one, the one who is different, the one who against all odds, the one whose relationship may start awfully but have a wonderful ending. I have never thought of myself as the rule. So it is very easy for me to believe I am the exception.

I remember being in a situation a few years back. I was involved with a guy who got back with his ex girlfriend after a few weeks of us establishing a relationship. Yes, I was lucky, he actually told me. Of course the sensible thing to do was to leave him and go and be appreciated by my own man but what happened was just a whole lot of silliness, for reasons I would now narrow down to plain stupidity and insecurity. I have learned that people treat you how you treat yourself and they take you for granted to the extent that you take yourself for granted.

Now back to the story, he got back with his ex and he still wanted to keep me on the side (God will save us from the evil of men o). He claimed he loved her but he loved me even more as I was his soul mate. I relished in the dream, I fantasized in the hope. To me it was only a matter of time. Stories of exceptional cases from friends and well wishers only ignited the fires of hope. One friend actually told me that all girlfriends’ start off being number 2s as every Nigerian guy already has a girlfriend, so it’s the number 2 that ends up becoming number 1. Another friend told me of how a friend met her husband when he was already engaged to someone else and how he had left his fiancée to marry her friend. The guy in question also told me that I could have kept hold of him over his ex if I wanted to because women had that power to keep a guy. Till this day, I never really understood what he meant by that statement and if it’s what I am thinking of now, all I can say to that is hmmmm. All well and good were the intentions of these stories of hope from friends and acquaintances alike. I forgot the rule and hung unto the exception because in my mind’s eye I am worthy of being an exception. My whole life is an exception. My love life should be an even bigger exception…a fairytale of exception! Needless to say, the relationship was doomed from Day 1, with a foundation like that; there wasn’t really much hope for it. Like a pack of domino tiles it crashed one tile after the other.

There’s a scene in the movie where they go around the world listening to conversations of women and their friends. Friends and confidantes feeding women with all sorts of plain and simple nonsense!

‘Maybe he's afraid to get hurt again’
‘Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship’
‘Maybe he's intimidated by you’
‘Maybe he likes you too much’
‘He just got out of a relationship’
‘He lost your number or his phone’
‘Maybe the dog ate your number’ (I couldn’t resist adding this one)

The funniest scene is depicted with 3 women in a remote African village, the third woman is being consoled by the first two women.

African Woman #1: I'm sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion!
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!

Obviously the scene was added for comic relief to buttress the extent we sometimes go to make excuses for the men who disappear on us. One of the home hitting quotes from the movie was ‘If a guy treats you like he doesn't give a shit, it's because he doesn't give a shit.’ Case closed.

Let’s save our stories of hope and exceptions for the people who really need it. For life or death situations, for giving hope to the dying, the terminally ill, the war torn, the persecuted, rather than put false hope in the thoughts and hearts of the broken hearted and lonely. Give me practical advice, tell me to look after myself and treat me the way I would like to be treated. Tell me not to allow other people treat me in a manner that robs me of my dignity. Say nothing! In the absence of saying anything practical, tell me ‘may God’s will be done’, ‘it is well’, or even the classic ‘e go better’. The book spells it out loud and clear and another very popular book says ‘to them who have ears, let them hear’ or in this case if you have eyes, please read and digest.

1. He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out (after many fights on this one, the verdict is yes, men still ask out women they are into; assumptions are risky)
2. He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you
3. He’s just not that into you if he’s not dating you
4. He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to have sex with you (whether you consent is your choice, the operative word here is ‘want’, any normal guy will want to sleep with you)
5. He’s just not that into you if he’s having sex with someone else
6. He’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk, or at night time
7. He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to marry you
8. He’s just not that into you if he’s breaking up with you
9. He’s just not that into you if he’s disappeared on you
10. He’s just not that into you if he’s married, has a girlfriend or any other variation of being unavailable
11. He’s just not that into you if he’s a selfish jerk, a bully or a big freak
12. And lastly he’ll never be into you if you keep listening to these stories of exceptions. The chances are, it will not happen to you!

Stop listening to these fairytale exception stories that only happen to a minuscule minority, examples are;

1. Guys that were pursued by some girl who asked them out and she ends up being the love of his life. Chances are, it won’t be happening to you.
2. The guy who treats a girl badly, sleeps with her occasionally and after a couple of years he changes, marries her and is now the best husband ever. Chances are, it will not happen to you.
3. The guy who doesn’t call a girl he has slept with for over a month and then he finally calls and now they are the best couple money can buy. Yeah right!
4. The girl who is sleeping with a married guy and the married man ends up leaving his wife for her and they now live happily ever after. Fat chance!
5. The guy over 30, who had commitment phobia, dated his girlfriend for 8 years but finally came round and married her. Lai lai!
6. The guy who tells you he is committed to you and that marriage is just a piece of paper but miraculously changes his mind and marries you. If it’s just paper, let’s get married tomorrow!

Chances are, the minute you let go of any of the aforementioned guys, they’ll be married to someone else in 6 months. You are lovely as you are but he’s not worthy of you, he’s not sure about you and he’s definitely just not that into you!

In my opinion, the movie was not even great; it dragged in the middle. I wouldn’t recommend it for big screen viewing, wait for it to come out on video. The book is much better. I bought it at Silverbird 2 years ago; they may still have it in stock. If not I’ll be happy to read you excerpts.

I did say that if I learned nothing from the movie, I learnt one thing.

‘In as much as we love the exception stories, most of us are the rule and not the exception.’

It’s the same reason why laws are created based on the rule and not the exception. We can’t lay all our hopes on small probabilities. Faith works like that but when we need to make practical informed decisions, like we have to in relationships, most of us will benefit from sticking to the rule.

If you are in a happy place, being treated in a way you appreciate, whether it’s the rule or the exception that’s awesome. As individuals, we will all have varying interpretations of happiness or what we consider as acceptable to us. This message is for anyone who currently feels or has ever felt they were badly treated and needs to move from where they are now to a happy place.

This quote from the movie sums it all up;

‘Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending; we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment,  you never gave up hope.’

Some four months or so ago, on the 23rd of March 2009 to be precise, it was in the papers that some "group" was planning to take over 5 banks and they had already put together 3 steps to achieve that.

STEP 1: Make sure Soludo does not get re-elected.
STEP 2: Make those banks look unsafe in the eye of the banking public.
STEp 3: Take over the banks. As you all know, their plan is in motion.

Now, to be honest, I don't mind the takeover cos it exposed the discrepancies within these banks and showed their irregularities and how weak they really are. My worry is that this is proof that these 5 banks were clearly targeted from the beginning. You can't tell me that these are the only banks with these problems.  Some other "big banks" have the same problems, why do they get off with a warning? Now I don't feel safe with ANY bank . Here's the link to the story in the Vanguard newspapers dated 23, March 2009.
http://allafrica.com/stories/200903230006.html






Nigeria: Group Plots Takeover of Five Top Banks
Omoh Gabriel and Emeka Mamah, 23 March 2009- VANGUARD NEWSPAPERS


ANTI-CONSOLIDATION forces have regrouped with the hope of dismantling the structures and forcing a takeover of the top five banks in the country, Vanguard can now reveal.

The grand plan by the group is to cause panic and uncertainty in the industry and make the target banks look unsafe for depositors.

Meantime, indications emerged yesterday that the Federal Government may announce the names of a new Governor of the Central Bank (CBN) and the Auditor-General of the Federation (AGF) in April just a few weeks before the tenure of the incumbents run out.

However, the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) has expressed concern over what it described as the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and tasked the Central Bank (CBN) to make public information on causes of the development as well as the scale of the crisis.

Vanguard investigations revealed that the aim of the anti-consolidation forces is to cause loss of public confidence in the banking industry and compel the Federal Government to move in by injecting funds. Further, they ultimately plan to instigate government to take equity holdings in the targeted banks.

Vanguard gathered that the group at work is made up of former bank owners who lost out during the consolidation exercise, a powerful clique in the present government, and some aggrieved persons in three of the six geopolitical zones in the country who felt left out in the consolidation exercise.

Presidency sources disclosed that those who felt left out in the consolidation exercise are up in arms to recoup what they felt they lost during Obasanjo years.

Part of the plans hatched by the group is to ensure that the incumbent Governor of the Central Bank, Professor Chukwuma Soludo, does not get a second term. The plan is also to ensure that whatever gains consolidation recorded are discredited. This, it was learnt, was meant to force the President to act quickly in the matter of appointment of a successor to Soludo as they anticipate that the president's slow move may scuttle their dreams and cause the renewal of Soludo's re-appointment for a second term.

The group's second game plan is to make Nigerian banks look unsafe in the eye of the banking public. Part of the game is to spread rumours that some banks are unsound and are on the verge of collapse. They send out text messages to individuals and account holders passing wrong information on their target banks. At the moment, the group's target is one of the high-flying new generation banks where they have sent out several messages.

@ bolded above:
Soooo, they had the money to pay eh?, So they can actually come up with N1 billion/N2 Billion in a week eh?

Odidison Omankhanlen, Gbola Subair and Lanre Oyetade - NIGERIAN TRIBUNE


THREATS by the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) and the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to deal decisively with bank debtors have begun to yield dividends as some of the debtors are rushing to pay up.
This is just as some bank chiefs had anticipated the whirlwind blowing through the banking sector now and relocated their families abroad.
Some of the bank officials, who knew that the bubble would soon burst, started relocating their families to Canada since 2008, using the opportunity of the country’s federal skilled worker/business class programme which gave them the opportunity to secure Canada permanent residency.
Notable among them are two officers of Intercontinental Bank, whose families currently reside in Richmond Hill, one of the most expensive areas of Toronto, where the said officials recently bought houses worth $1,000,000 and luxury cars for their wives.
The wife of one of the bank officials, who hails from the Eastern part of Nigeria, is a very popular member of Christ Embassy Church in Toronto and drives around town in a brand new Toyota Sequia Jeep worth $100,000.
However, as the news of the sack of CEOs of five banks and imminent EFCC’s involvement in the matter became known, families of the bankers have withdrawn from all public activities in the North American country and resorted to spiritual help from some clergymen to protect their spouses who are officials of some of the affected banks.
Meanwhile, some Nigerians abroad who have money and investments in some of the affected banks have started to return home to recover their assets while urging the CBN to make good use of the EFCC to recover the bank’s bad debts. They commended the new CBN boss for taking prompt action to save the banking sector from collapse.
[size=14pt]In another development, Nigerian Tribune investigations in the affected banks revealed that, in spite of several denials and disputations, the debtors have begun to pay up with some others making frantic enquiries with the respective banks, with a view to paying back their owed debts.
Briefing newsmen in Lagos, on Thursday, the new acting Group Managing Director and Chief Executive Officer of Afribank, Mr. Nebolisa Arah, stated that a few hours after the CBN made the debtors’ list public, one of the debtors paid N1 billion, adding that two of the debtors had also promised to pay N2 billion and N100 million respectively before the close of the day’s work.[/size]
According to Arah, the debtors would have no hiding place, as all efforts would be made to recover debts owed the banks, adding that the banks, regulators and relevant security agencies had the mandate to recover the debts.
A source in Union Bank, who pleaded anonymity, told the Nigerian Tribune that many debtors also made enquires with a view to paying their debts, stressing, however, that none of the corporate debtors had come forward.
Meanwhile, the Chairman, Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), Mrs. Farida Waziri, told newsmen, on Thursday, that the anti-graft agency decided to get tough with the debtors, because of the urgent need to salvage the financial sector from total collapse and restore discipline to it.
The EFCC boss said the opportunity of repayment of the loans within seven days was to enable the borrowers to either pay through bank drafts or cheques in the name of the Federal Government.
She warned that it was in the interest of the debtors to comply with the directive rather than wait for arrest and prosecution.
“I will advise the debtors whose names had already been published by the Central Bank of Nigeriia to take advantage of this ultimatum by issuing their cheques and drafts in the name of EFCC for proper and coordinated recovery after which we restitute by returning the funds to the appropriate banks,” Waziri said.
A breakdown of the loans, which are classified as non-performing, is as follows: Oceanic Bank Plc, N278.204 billion or 37 per cent; Intercontinental Bank Plc, N210 .903 billion or 28 per cent; Afribank Nigeria Plc, N141.856 billion or 19 per cent; Union Bank of Nigeria Plc, N73.582 billion or 9.8 per cent; and FinBank Plc, N42.445 billion or 5.6 per cent.
But the CBN has said that it will soon come out with the list of chronic bank debtors.
The apex bank, in a press statement issued by its Corporate Affairs Unit, stated that Nigerians and the world at large should expect the release of more names of debtors.
According to the statement, the names of bank debtors/loan defaulters were being compiled and would be published on a regular basis.
On the furore generated by the release of the names of the first batch of debtors, the CBN told debtors/ loan defaulters disputing the quantum of debt listed against them to approach their respective banks to reconcile their books.
The CBN, which said the amounts listed against their names were as of 31 May, 2009, said if any of the defaulters/debtors had made any payment after this date, they should sort it out with the relevant banks.

It will be recalled that the apex bank, on Tuesday, released names of prominent Nigerians, which, it said, were indebted to five banks, to the tune of N747 billion.
On the list were firms in which billionaires, Aliko Dangote and Femi Otedola, were said to have substantial interests, Transnational Corporation of Nigeria, whose chairman is the Director-General of the Nigerian Stock Exchange, Professor Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke, among many others, mentioned.
It also noted that there were some typographical errors regarding the titles of some government officials and some companies, commenting, For instance, that the title “Accountant General” under Intercontinental Bank Plc list, should have read “Accountant General of Zamfara State,” while the name “Delta State Government,” under the Oceanic Bank list, should read “Delta Steel Company.”
A statement signed by the CBN spokesman, Alhaji M. M. Abdullahi, and made available to the Nigerian Tribune added that the bank regretted any embarrassment caused as a result of the typos.
Meanwhile, Nigeria will ask local and foreign banks and investors to bid for the ownership of five banks whose chief executive officers were fired after a Central Bank audit found the institutions had been mismanaged, its governor said.
Once the bank has finished its audit of 21 of the banks, expected by mid-September, it will “invite expressions of interest” from private-sector operators “as quickly as possible,” Governor Lamido Sanusi said in an interview at the sidelines of a conference in the Democratic Republic of Congo’s capital, Kinshasa.
Sanusi fired the CEOs of Afribank Nigeria Plc, Intercontinental Bank Plc, Oceanic Bank International Plc, Union Bank Nigeria Plc and Finbank Plc last Friday after a Central Bank audit found the lenders were in a “grave situation” and their management had acted in a manner “detrimental to the interests.

By Ayodele Aminu, 08.19.2009 from THISDAY NEWSPAPER


In what is considered an effort to diffuse the blame on the liquidity challenge in the banking sector, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) yesterday released the names of debtors – mostly shareholders/directors – who secured loans totalling N747 billion from the five banks whose executives were sacked last Friday.
A breakdown of the loans, which are classified as non-performing, is as follows: Oceanic Bank Plc, N278.204 billion or 37 per cent; Intercontinental Bank Plc, N210 .903 billion or 28 per cent; Afribank Nigeria Plc, N141.856 billion or 19 per cent; Union Bank of Nigeria Plc, N73.582 billion or 9.8 per cent; and FinBank Plc, N42.445 billion or 5.6 per cent.
[b]The two biggest debtors to Intercontinental Bank are Ascot Offshore Nigeria Limited through which Henry Imasekha along with three others secured N44.67 billion and Rockson Engineering Limited through which Engineer J.1. Arumemi-Ikhide and his wife secured N36.989 billion.
Oceanic Bank on the other hand, has Notore Chemical Industries Limited, which borrowed N32.392 billion and Rahamaniyya Global Resources through which Abdul Rahaman Musa Bashir got N28.598 billion.
The two principal debtors to Union Bank are Transnational Corp Plc, in which the Director-General of the Nigeria Stock Exchange (NSE), Dr. Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke is a director/major shareholder, which borrowed N30.863 billion on behalf of the company and MTS First Wireless Limited through which Chief Lulu Briggs secured N9.849 billion.
Afribank has Kolvey Company Limited, which borrowed N16.5 billion and Rehoboth Assets Limited through which five of the Ajaegbu families got N28.598 billion.
The two key debtors to FinBank are Aquitane Oil and Gas which borrowed N3.656 billion and Falcon Securities through which it’s Managing Director, Peter Ololo, who is currently cooling off with the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in Abuja secured N3.49 billion.
[/b]Meanwhile, the banking watchdog has said it would guarantee all foreign loans and correspondent banking lines to the five banks bailed out last Friday in a N420 billion rescue package.
In a statement, the CBN said it would soon organise a road show in London to explain its actions to investors and correspondent banks.
The banking watchdog explained that its action was aimed at strengthening the financial condition of the affected banks and to ensure the protection of depositors and creditors funds.
It also reiterated its commitments to ensuring the stability of the banking industry, stressing that it “will therefore not allow any bank to fail”.
In another development, inter-bank lending rate, which largely determines interest rate or cost of borrowing in the domestic economy, crashed last Monday.
Market operators attributed the crash to the N420 billion bailout package injected into the five undercapitalised banks last Friday by the banking watchdog.
THISDAY gathered that some of these banks – anticipating that they may not need the funds immediately – decided to play at the inter-bank market to earn some income.
Further investigations revealed that several billions of naira from the July Federation Account - that was posted to some banks yesterday, also had a dampening effect on the inter-bank market - where banks borrow funds from one another to meet their immediate needs.
THISDAY checks at the inter-bank money market yesterday indicated that banks lent to one another at a highly reduced rate with over night funds, which traded at 18 per cent per annum last Monday morning, falling to 9 per cent yesterday.
Ditto for call money, which dropped to 9 per cent after trading at 19 per cent.
Seven-day funds was 13 per cent compared to the earlier prevailing rate of 6.67 per cent; 30-day at 6 per cent compared to  22 per cent, while Open Buy Back (OBB) funds, which depended on the CBN’s Monetary Policy Rate, fell to 6 per cent from 8 per cent.
Inter-bank lending had tightened despite the fact that the banking watchdog reviewed some of its lending guidelines few weeks ago in a bid to boost liquidity and moderate interest rates in the economy.
The measures, which are geared towards injecting liquidity into the market, allow free use of Federal Government bonds as instruments for repo transactions with the CBN for tenors not exceeding 90 days.
The CBN also removed the restrictions it placed on the use of funds obtained from any of its lending windows for placement at the inter-bank market.
In the financial parlance, repo (Repurchase Agreement) is the sale of securities for immediate payment and the commitment by seller to buy the securities at a later date under an agreed term, while discount window is the outlet through which the CBN grants standing facilities and outright advances to the deposit money banks and discount houses.

Is it a traditional wedding or a White wedding?, Some nice songs are:
Wedding Day by 9ice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnkUPXiv-Cg
Fall in Love by Dbanj
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jljsz4197aM
Yori Yori [/b]by Bracket ( My sis danced to this tune, it was AWESOME!!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFd3FdIltc0&feature=related
[b]Bia Nulu by Onyeka Onwenu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lze-9vugnWU
Ololufe by Wande Coal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ZnJrlQkB0
No one like you by PSquare
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_t8tBrZuqo

, Now this is a matter of concern. What are our lousy leaders doing bikonu?, and when did the South begin to make up the bulk of the Nigerian military? These people are just spoiling for a fight.

Boko Haram Threatens To Attack Lagos, Claims Link To al-Queda
- Soyinka Queries Killing Of Yusuf

From Kamal Tayo Oropo, Samson Ezea, Onyedika Agbedo (Lagos) and Njadvara Musa (Damaturu)- GUARDIAN NEWSPAPERS



TWO weeks after the crackdown on the extremist Islamic sect Boko Haram, the group regained its voice yesterday, threatening to cause more violence with the southern part of the country as its major target.

Yesterday too, Nobel Laureate Prof. Wole Soyinka said the alleged extra-judicial killing of the sect's leader Mohammed Yusuf and other members of the group was deplorable, regardless of the gravity of the crime they committed.

According to a statement by Mallam Sanni Umaru, which was sent to newspaper houses, Boko Haram is not limited to Northern Nigeria.

[b]"In fact, we are spread across all the 36 states in Nigeria, and Boko Haram is just a version of the Al Qaeda, which we align with and respect. We support Osama bin Laden, we shall carry out his command in Nigeria until the country is totally Islamised, which is according to the wish of Allah," the group said.

The group added: "Mallam Yusuf has not died in vain and he is a martyr. His ideas will live forever. We lost over 1000 of our martyr members killed by the wicked Nigerian army and police mostly of southern Nigerian extraction. The Southern states, especially the infidel Yoruba, Igbo and Ijaw infidels will be our immediate targets. The killing of our leaders in a callous, wicked and malicious manner will not in any way deter us.

"We have started a Jihad in Nigeria, which no force on earth can stop. The aim is to Islamise Nigeria and ensure the rule of the majority Moslems in the country. We will teach Nigeria a lesson, a very bitter one.

"From the month of August, we shall carry out a series of bombings in Southern and Northern Nigerian cities, beginning with Lagos, Ibadan, Enugu and Port Harcourt. The bombings will not stop until Sharia is established and and western civilisation wiped off from Nigeria. We will not stop until these evil cities are tuned into ashes.

"We shall make the country ungovernable, kill and eliminate irresponsible political leaders of all leanings, hunt and gun down those who oppose the rule of Sharia in Nigeria and ensure that the infidel does not go unpunished.

We promise the West and Southern Nigeria, a horrible pastime. We shall focus on these areas which are the devil empire and have been the ones encouraging and sponsoring western civilisation into the shores of Nigeria."

The statement continued: "We call on all Northerners in the Islamic States to quit (membership) of the wicked political parties leading the country, the corrupt, irresponsible, criminal, murderous political leadership, and join the struggle for Islamic Society that will be corruption free, Sodom free, where security will be guaranteed and there will be peace under Islam.

"Very soon, we shall stir Lagos, the evil city and Nigeria's South West and South East, in a way no one has ever done before.
[/b]
"Boko Haram does not in any way mean 'Western education is a sin' as the infidel media continue to portray us. Boko Haram actually means 'western civilisation' is forbidden. The difference is that while the first gives the impression that we are opposed to formal education coming from the West, that is Europe, which is not true, the second affirms our believe in the supremacy of Islamic culture (not education), for culture is broader; it includes education but not determined by western education. In this case, we are talking of western ways of life which include: constitutional provision as it relates to, for instance, the rights and privileges of women, the idea of homo-sexualism, lesbianism, sanctions in cases of terrible crimes like drug trafficking, rape of infants, multi-party democracy in an overwhelmingly Islamic country like Nigeria, blue films, prostitution, drinking beer and alcohol and many others that are opposed to Islamic civilization."

Speaking with journalists in Lagos yesterday, Soyinka declared: "I am joining others who have protested the extra-judicial murder of the Boko Haram."

Pointing out that the Federal Government was to be blamed for such uprising, Soyinka x-rayed a condition that encouraged such religious fanaticism.

"When the Kano incident by those who do not even know where Denmark is located on the world map happened, everybody went to sleep and no punishment was meted out on anyone: that is the root cause of Boko Haram. The state of corruption has to do with it. The marginalisation has to do with. The sense of not belonging has to do with it. But the greatest is the tacit encouragement of impunity by one government after the other. The laughable , of appeasement, is what we used to hear, until the thing reached a point when the entire country is now in crisis. The question is what is next. When will the president or the governor get up and say enough is enough.

Speaking on the restlessness in the Niger Delta, Soyinka cautioned on the use of words, which may send wrong signals on the true situation of things. His words: "When I read in the media, a reference to repentant militants, I ask myself exactly who are they? And the reason I ask the question, is that I am yet to hear about or encounter or recognize a repentant militant. Are you sure we all understand what the word repentant means? I am not very sure that we do, because repentant means that you accept guilt, the judgment of guilt over a certain form of conduct.

"I am not aware that the militants have renounced their belief. And this is what I am saying about the danger of the use of language. I am not aware that the Niger Delta militants have renounced their belief, that they have renounced the root cause for which they have been agitating. I am not aware that they have renounced their belief in a more equitable distribution of resources. I am not aware that they have renounced their belief in fiscal federalism. I am not aware that they have renounced their belief in the necessity for decentralization of governance for the very survival of governance for the very survival of this Nigerian entity."

Meanwhile, Governor Ibrahim Gaidam of Yobe State yesterday directed all the 14 traditional and religious leaders in the state to be on "a security alert," following the receipt of a military intelligence report to assassinate him and other top government officials in the state.

The order, which takes immediate effect, was made at the recent State Executive Council (SEC) meeting, at the Damaturu Government House, while responding to his last February's alleged food poisoning to kill him.

This is so unfair , How wicked can people get? If that bridge collapses and kills hundreds, they'll call it a "sudden accident", give cockroach speeches to the world and go back to their beds to sleep peacefully on their blood money, I don't even know what to say anymore cos I trust my God. Their day of reckoning is coming. OBASANJO!!, God bless you.

THISDAY NEWSPAPERS
- Chuks Okocha



Minister of Works and Housing, Dr. Hassan Lawal, yesterday stunned members of the National Working Committee (NWC) of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) when he declared that there was no binding contract signed for the construction of the Second River Niger Bridge.
The minister, who described the said contract for the Second Niger Bridge as a hoax, also said over 70 per cent of the 34,000 kilometre-long federal roads across the country were in deplorable condition.
Lawal, who was speaking at an interactive session with PDP leaders in Abuja, said the Federal Government had concessioned the Lagos-Ibadan expressway for N89 billion over a period of 25 years. 
The minister, who was responding to a question on the state of the Second Niger Bridge, said: “The Second Niger Bridge was said to have been awarded as a Public Private Partnership (PPP) to a particular company by the last administration.
“There is no contract and I still stand by it because as a lawyer, I'm well educated to know what a contract is and what is not a contract. Two states were consulted; Delta and Anambra, by the previous administration and a company was engaged and a ceremony was conducted by way of flag-off of that project.
“And I don't believe that ceremony constitute a contract. Even in a normal simple marriage contract either being supervised by the Bishop or Imam, there has to be documentation signed by the two parties. In other words, there are many elements that constitute a contract. I have gone through the books, I have not seen one agreement signed by the developer, signed by the Delta State governor, signed by the Anambra State governor or signed by any of my predecessors as ministers.
“But we have put that behind us. We are reviewing the entire project because we believe that the people of Delta and Anambra and indeed Nigeria deserve that bridge. And above all, the first bridge was built by the Tafawa Balewa government in the 1960s and it is old, archaic, tired and risky.
“So, very soon, we will come out with details of the review. And we believe that all the stakeholders will come to understand the implication of using the old bridge and also appreciate the need for a new bridge and also endorse economic viability of that bridge.”
Speaking on the state of federal roads, the Minister said: “About 70 per cent of the 34,000 kilometres of federal roads are generally in deplorable condition. This has resulted from past neglect of road maintenance due to inadequate funding, inappropriate institutional framework for road maintenance and collapse of other modes of transportation, like railways, inland water ways, etc.”
According to Lawal, “the Lagos-Ibadan expressway has been concessioned at a cost of N89 billion for a period of 25 years. The following roads are being processed for concessioning: Shagamu-Benin dual carriageway, Lagos-Badagry-Seme Border dual carriageway, Abuja-Kaduna dual carriageway and the Kaduna-Kano dual carriageway.”
The minister also told the PDP officials that the Federal Government would soon complete 55 road projects at a cost of N209.08 billion, while the execution of another 34 road projects costing N136.38 billion was in progress.
He also explained that government had secured a $148.416 million loan from the African Development Bank (AfDB) for the construction of the Abakiliki-Mbok and Ikom-Mfum roads, as well as the Nigeria-Cameroon Joint Border Post.
Other road projects under rehabilitation, according to him, include the 1022 kilometre Enugu- Abakiliki-Mfun road, the Mokwa-Bida-Lambatta-Suleja road and the Samamiya-Bauchi- Gombe-Biu road, as well as the Benin-Ifon-Owo-Ilesa road.

I cannot believe what I'm reading . Who says if you have a girlfriend it's your responsibility to care for her needs? NO IT IS NOT!!!!,  For heavens sake people! Guys! you should be one of these two. If you are a guy that feels your girlfriend needs help and can help her. Please do so!!! For those that have girlfriends who don't really need the money, there's nothing wrong with giving her gifts or cash. The cash not because she needs it. For some men it's and ego thing, to show the girl that they are still capable of taking care of her regardless of her situation. But pls note that you are doing it because u want to. PLEASE LADIES!!, NO! YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO AN ALLOWANCE!! HE'S NOT YOUR HUSBAND!!, If you want money to do your hair, ask your Father or Mother or better still PAY FOR IT YOURSELF!!! . Wharraheck!. I'm not saying you can't ask your boyfriend for the money, if he gives it to u, fine, just don't make it his responsibility biko. It really isn't his.