₦airaland Forum

Osama10:
https://www.nairaland.com/3529023/kachi-nwokocha-sponsored-gang-beheaded

learnedman:
16/12/2016 8:40:35 AM: Sanchos Glo: Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced that he would buy monkeys for N100 each. The villagers seeing that there were so many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at N100 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. He further announced that he would now buy at N200. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to N250 but the supply of monkeys became so little that it took much effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch one.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at N500! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, his assistant told the villagers: ''Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that my OGA has bought from you, I will sell them to you at N350 and when my OGA returns from the city, you can sell it to him at N500''.
The villagers squeezed out all their HARD EARNED savings and bought all the monkeys. The most greedy ones among them even sold their lands to purchase many MONKEYS, hoping to make a huge profit without labor.
Then...
They never saw the man or his assistant. Only monkeys everywhere!

Welcome to MMM...

Naijasinglegirl:
Especially when you are working with a location, time and limited budget.
At least with husband hunting, my horizon is expanded. I’m not bound by location, a lot of criteria and I don’t have a December deadline.

I digress.

I get informed of a house today and by morning, its already taken. It appears everyone in Lagos is house hunting.

paid an agent who presented me with four options this week.
I was taken to the first one, a self contained in a new building.
I feel in love with the place once I stepped inside. It is like a white-space room. The room is big, kitchen is spacious, bathroom/toilet is sparkling clean and the proximity to the road was very encouraging. It is a house I would look forward to coming home everyday.

I was already imagining giving my friends directions there, cooking, setting up my study in one corner, recording snapchat videos and all sorts.

Sadly, the rent is 150K more than my projected budget, excluding agreement and agency fees.

The second house was formerly a guest house- the one they call slaughter-house, meaning different people have probably had loads of sxx in my room. I felt the spirit of sxx hovering in the compound. I wasn’t even shown inside because it was locked but I saw a g-string hanging from the bathroom window. A product of a quick romp perhaps?

The compound looked really secured which is a plus but the guest house retained their in-house bar and I don’t know if I would be able to live or sleep by a bar. One of the reasons I am looking to move is have some peace and quiet.
What if a regular of the bar gets drunk one night and come banging with a woman by my door, forgetting the guesthouse is no longer available? Or a fight breaks out between two drunk guys?

The third house was within my budget, way lower even.
It is a self contained situated in a three storey building, like those hostels in Ekosodin.
Compound was like a LAWMA branch.
The kitchen was separated from the room and bathroom but on the same lobby as if the three rooms are quarrelling. I would even have to share the kitchen with another tenant. I was already imagining conversations like,

“Who stole two pieces of shaki from my pot of soup?” “My maggi cubes have been reducing since Wednesday” “My pot was not this black when I left house.” “Who touched my garri? Do you know how much garri cost?” “Goodmorning, it is my turn to use the kitchen for pounded yam today.”

The tap was rusty with cobwebs. It appeared the last time water flowed was when Donald Trump was shooting season1 of The Apprentice.

The toilet was monochrome in colour, the black from old shit.
It is a house I would stagger in crying at 11:45pm and gladly leave by 5:30am.

The fourth house was the second floor of a two storey building. Even though it was obviously free of witchcraft, I refused to look it.
First, there were touts sitting by the crooked gate. Then the house was surrounded by a church left, right, front and behind.
Four churches fam! One had fire in the name.
Would I ever sleep with all the casting of demons and vigil nights from Monday to Sunday?

The impression the first building had on me ruined the other three. I really cannot wait to get settled cos I haven’t a day of proper rest for two weeks now.
Pray for me.



http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/house-hunting-lagos-update/

Naijasinglegirl:
Especially when you are working with a location, time and limited budget.
At least with husband hunting, my horizon is expanded. I’m not bound by location, a lot of criteria and I don’t have a December deadline.

I digress.

I get informed of a house today and by morning, its already taken. It appears everyone in Lagos is house hunting.

paid an agent who presented me with four options this week.
I was taken to the first one, a self contained in a new building.
I feel in love with the place once I stepped inside. It is like a white-space room. The room is big, kitchen is spacious, bathroom/toilet is sparkling clean and the proximity to the road was very encouraging. It is a house I would look forward to coming home everyday.

I was already imagining giving my friends directions there, cooking, setting up my study in one corner, recording snapchat videos and all sorts.

Sadly, the rent is 150K more than my projected budget, excluding agreement and agency fees.

The second house was formerly a guest house- the one they call slaughter-house, meaning different people have probably had loads of sxx in my room. I felt the spirit of sxx hovering in the compound. I wasn’t even shown inside because it was locked but I saw a g-string hanging from the bathroom window. A product of a quick romp perhaps?

The compound looked really secured which is a plus but the guest house retained their in-house bar and I don’t know if I would be able to live or sleep by a bar. One of the reasons I am looking to move is have some peace and quiet.
What if a regular of the bar gets drunk one night and come banging with a woman by my door, forgetting the guesthouse is no longer available? Or a fight breaks out between two drunk guys?

The third house was within my budget, way lower even.
It is a self contained situated in a three storey building, like those hostels in Ekosodin.
Compound was like a LAWMA branch.
The kitchen was separated from the room and bathroom but on the same lobby as if the three rooms are quarrelling. I would even have to share the kitchen with another tenant. I was already imagining conversations like,

“Who stole two pieces of shaki from my pot of soup?” “My maggi cubes have been reducing since Wednesday” “My pot was not this black when I left house.” “Who touched my garri? Do you know how much garri cost?” “Goodmorning, it is my turn to use the kitchen for pounded yam today.”

The tap was rusty with cobwebs. It appeared the last time water flowed was when Donald Trump was shooting season1 of The Apprentice.

The toilet was monochrome in colour, the black from old shit.
It is a house I would stagger in crying at 11:45pm and gladly leave by 5:30am.

The fourth house was the second floor of a two storey building. Even though it was obviously free of witchcraft, I refused to look it.
First, there were touts sitting by the crooked gate. Then the house was surrounded by a church left, right, front and behind.
Four churches fam! One had fire in the name.
Would I ever sleep with all the casting of demons and vigil nights from Monday to Sunday?

The impression the first building had on me ruined the other three. I really cannot wait to get settled cos I haven’t a day of proper rest for two weeks now.
Pray for me.
Cant stop laughing. you have a high sense of humor. You will make a great writer. You have the gift.


http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/house-hunting-lagos-update/

eddiebruk:
We no longer hear SAI BABA, I wonder wattapun

Efe3:
wow, I didn't know North Eastern Nigeria had such dense green vegetation, I could have mistook the site for somewhere in the Niger Delta.

Martins301:
I understand you but do you understand what democracy is? It is the politics of MAJORITY. Buhari defined democracy with that statement and if we are to put sentiment aside then you will see that he is right. If you think or feel Buhari is wrong then you are indirectly saying Nigeria should ditch the Democratic system of government.

Lastly has the president really ignored the region that gave him the lowest votes so far? Before you answer please remember that Ogoni is not located in the North. Remember that Niger Bridge is not located in the North or South West. Remember that Lagos-Calabar railway project is not going to be located in the North. If you think of all this projects and still answer Yes to the question posed at the beginning of this paragraph then I give up on you bros. Don't bother quoting me again.

All of you against the president know the truth but you will choose not to focus on it. That's the biggest problem we have in this country. You all know that the main source of FOREX and government revenue is crude oil sales. You all know that Jonathan and his cohorts practically shared majority of the available FOREX amongst themselves, especially close to the election. You all know that majority of the FOREX shared has either been stashed abroad or in private vaults and thus such FOREX is no longer available to oil the wheels of economic growth. Now you all are supporting militants to continue destroying the source of FOREX and revenue and you all won't tell the people who stole from our treasury to return the loots.

Instead you all focus on chanting the cliche 97% 5% as if that is the real problem. Continue.

Caracta:
Well...

Poisoning can occur if you eat the leaves, stalk or root. It's also called Dumb Cane. It can damage the kidneys, the arteries or the stomach of those who eat it. It can also produce vomits or diarrhea. As for instant death, I am not too sure.

fatenzy:
Dear Nairalanders,
I'm with #30,000, I want to celebrate my birthday on Sunday, but I don't know how to make everything in order on that day, my guests are 23, will 30k be enough for 23 guests? And besides I will be 22 on Sunday, I'm thinking of what to wear on that day, my guy gave me the 30k and traveled yesterday. Please I need your humble Advice... God bless you All