₦airaland Forum

4teelaw: slowpoke! He proposed and I said yes! And my introduction was already concluded, apparently you thrive on assumptions! Go and marry jare! Apparently no woman sees you worthy enough to want to stick to you!
And why e de pain you like dis?
Did a girl dump you to cohabit with some guy? Heartbreak reeks all over you! ‎​​​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=))

He proposed "after" he put you through rigorous testing. And you said yes so hurriedly cos it will be a shame if after knowing him half of your life and extra cohabiting, he found you unworthy. . .
You knew him half of your life, yet he needed an extra year to love you. . . You lived illegally as a couple for a year. . . You had NOTHING new to offer him. . . He already saw it all. . . That hurts!

Yes, she dumped me to cohabit with a guy. How wouldn't you know? You dumped someone else for another guy, cohabited with him, and married him. . .

4teelaw:

I smell hypocrisy! Mr. Killz. Stop being such a bloody hypocrite, the more you linger on this issue, the more obvious it is that you are trying as hard as possible to force your opinion downn your own throat. There are two school of thoughts here, for or against? I am not FOR it, it worked for mee because it was meant to be, others may not be as fortunate. Even without your rabid ranting, [size=19pt]everybody knows its not right to cohabit,[/size] and those who do proceed at their own risk!

So shut up already? Your screaming blue murder is giving everybody here a headache!

apocalypse: Those tiny things do matter. I once cohabited with an ex and I never really knew how aggressive she was until I lived with her , she was always on about why did you use this or why did you leave this there , was always one thing or another. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and we had to mutually end the relationship. While we were dating I never would have known how her temperament is.

4teelaw: Defense for what?
When did this become a legal tussle that I should be defending? I cohabited and it ended well,so I won't be arguing with a bachelor! After all your plenty blabbing here, I won't be surprised if you eventually cohabit before you finally get married in your 50's.

Better stop crying for other people's problems, go and find a wife, get married, and then, we can banter words and argue about what is right or wrong! There are so many ways to kill a rat, as long as the rat is dead, why ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) about the method?

Who's crying? The only tears i see here are from you!

You had to cohabit before he proposed to you. . . You were not worthy enough Ouch. . . That hurts!

4teelaw: I smell hypocrisy! Mr. Killz. Stop being such a bloody hypocrite, the more you linger on this issue, the more obvious it is that you are trying as hard as possible to force your opinion downn your own throat. There are two school of thoughts here, for or against? I am not FOR it, it worked for mee because it was meant to be, others may not be as fortunate. Even without your rabid ranting, [size=15pt]everybody knows its not right to cohabit,[/size] and those who do proceed at their own risk!

So shut up already? Your screaming blue murder is giving everybody here a headache!

Touche. . .


And as for the headache, they can all jump off the 3rd mainland for all i care. . .

apocalypse: But you are wrong there , you don't truly know someone until you live with them and no I'm not talking about sexual compatibility. There are those tiny things you can't really see when you are out with someone but will see when you stay together. I heard of a couple who quarreled about where the tube of paste was pressed. Things like how one eats ( eating in public and at home are two different things ) can cause friction between couples and even putting down or not the toilet lid can cause quarrels at times.

4teelaw: You seem more matured that Mr.Killz, even though he has a point, his aggression makes him seem very myopic, cannot seEe beyond his limited scope.

Nah. You are the myopic one and the one that cannot see beyond her scope of cohabitation. Simply because it worked for you and a microscopical few. . .
Like you said earlier, you do not recommend cohabitation. Therefore, you are only defending it because your marriage is a product of one! Who's myopic now?

Don't linger on 2 opinions. . .

4teelaw: Okay, all you say is correct, no one should be encouraged to cohabit, especially for all the young confused people out there. Its selfish and demeaning, and a sin. Agreed!

Happy now?
I did a random poll of people I know that cohabited, and they are all happily married now, for donkey years for that matter!

Just for the records, are you married?

MyNaijaLove89: All fun ;DAll fun

Ok! I get. You be[b] J[/b]olly [b]J[/b]us [b]C[/b]ome to NL. . . Welcome to Nairaland.

MyNaijaLove89: just babbling as you say.

apocalypse: Marriage isn't more secure than cohabitation , yeah the commitment is more but it isn't more secure. The point others are trying to say though is living with someone will give you more insight to a persons true nature and whether or not you can condone him/her rather than just meeting at regular intervals , this gives the option of bailing out before you take that final step if you both feel you have compatibility issues. I'm not for or against cohabiting but if you feel you can handle it then go for it.

The commitment makes it more secure. . .

Living with someone doesn't give you any additional insight apart from the insight you had before you decided you want to cohabit with them. You cannot walk up to a stranger and ask for cohabitation now, can you?
That is the essence of dating and courtship. You can also bail out without living with them first, or can't you?
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. What different actions can you defend as compatibility issues apart from sex? It's all about the sex[i]u[/i]al compatibility, innit? That's pure undiluted bullshit!

apocalypse: I see you are slugging it out this morning , good to see the old sexkillz is back

Hey.

Idowuogbo: Gbam!!!

Dats my son.Can liv without kini? Dem b oxygen?

Abeg! Abeg! Abeg!

No one is irreplaceable o jare. . .

slimyem: killz,chop knuckles! no break my hand abeg!

CalienteMi: It is true there is no guarantees in marriages nor relationships, but when children are involve, gambling with their securities is selfish.

4teelaw: Well, you are entitled to your own opinion. Like I said, no one wakes up to say I want to cohabit, sometimes it is circumstantial, like in the analogy I gave. People are different, I do not reccommend cohabiting because it almost doesn't alwayz work but I can tell you a number of people it worked for and those it didn't work for. If we had split, then it is part of life. We value our marriage, more than ever. Our relationship even got better after marriage. I won't judge anybody who is cohabiting. I will only advise them to legalize it. If you can live with a woman for 6mths, then I guess you can marry her.

But most men are selfish and wicked. Looking at it from your point of view killz, if you are without sin cast the first stone. If you can condemn cohabiting, please condemn premarital sex, since you brought christianity into this matter, I can bet you are as guilty by your sexual escapades, at least the cohabiting man tries to be monogamous, single men can decide to slp with a dozen girls.

What is wrong is wrong! Premarital sex and cohabiting are in the same category.

4teelaw: I cohabited with my husband for 1year before we got married, although we have been really great friends for almost half my life...

It starts by spending the nights, then spending the weekends, then you realise you don't go home anymore. Next thing you guys are splitting the bills, next thing everyone thinks you are married, then you start referring to her as your wife, then she can't spend the nights out, she can't even go home anymore because her home is with you... its not like people go all out to cohabit, it just happens,and when the time comes, you decide to formally get married, so that she can change her name.

That's if it works out sha. if you cohabit and break up it is better than get married and divorced.

It has its pros and cons. I am having it easier in marriage now because we had all the 'marital' hiccups that 1st year, and we stuck together. Since we got married over 2yrs now, we hardly quarrel because I already know him inside out he does likewise. I don't find faults cos I know those faults and I have adapted to them and vice versa.I guess we were just lucky sha especially because we were friends for so long!

I will advise, if you are not matured enough to marry, mentally physically, emotionally and all that, don't cohabit! It will just ruin it for you, and I think its men that take advantage of cohabiting, marriage favors the woman, but I hope we know when you have cohaibtied for over 2yrs, you have become 'common law husband and wife' and will need a customary court when you break up and need to split stuff!it is also accepted abroad as 'defacto relationship' when you have proof you have lived together for that long (eg nepa bill, bank papers) etc

naijasexy: I have a friend who cohabits with her boyfriend (not even her fiance) and both of them and I had a talk about this not too long ago.

For one thing, I am a devoted christian and cohabitation is not in alignment with the rules of the bible therefore it is not acceptable.

Another thing in when one lives with a partner before getting married, you have ABSOLUTELY nothing to look forward when you eventually get married as everything has been done already so the essence of marriage to some extent is defeated. When they get married, that spark that usually accompanies new marriages would definitely be absent since all the while they had been "married" but just formalized their union officially. I could be wrong but I think such marriages are more likely to fail than others.

Cohabitees are more likely to break up because they get bored of each other too quickly and like Caliente said, the male cohabitee would not feel the need to propose since he is getting the milk free already.
I could go on and on about the disadvantages so Cohabitation is a definite NO-NO for me.

Dipwater: . . . Some guys are even wishing their moms were still alive to constructively criticize their choice of wife.

Any man dat. Cannot make decisions on his own is not a man he still has along way to go some guys need to grow up. as an adult u shuldnt be toooooo attachd to ur mum it is wen u seek their advice 4 evri thng they wuld start controlling u. Meeeeeen I f/u/c/k/i/n/g luv my life even if I make mistakes its my life. I don't give a damn