₦airaland Forum

XoXo86:
The joke about the abortion pill was cool but the one abt the toilet and its 4 buttons left me crossing my legs vert tight and im not even a guy!!!!

lol i undastand how u feel sowieee. u can open your legs now d guy has forgottn about his sorrows, #LIFEMUSTCONTINUE

Ada, a house help in VGC, Lagos
asked for a pay increase. The
madam was upset about this and
decided to talk to her about the
raise of pay that was requested.
She asked: 'Now Ada, why do you
feel you deserve an increase?'
Ada: 'Well, ma'am, 3 reasons why I
want the increase.' The 1st one, I
dey iron beta dan U'!
Madam : Who said u iron beta dan
me??'
Ada:Your husband say so!
Madam: 'oh!
Ada: The 2nd reason:, I can cook
better than you.'
Madam: 'Nonsense, who said u
were a better cook than me??'
Ada: Ur husband again'.
Madam: 'oh!
Ada: The 3rd reasn is that I am
beta in bed than u, ,
Madam: 'Really, (now furious &
agitated): ' my husband said dat
as well??!
Ada: 'No Madam , your husband
best friend, Senator Andrew, ,
told me that I was better in bed
than you .
Madam: Ada baby!! How much did
you say you wanted again!
laaaaaaaaaf it out

DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS:
1. From a Ebinpejo High School,
grammar teacher: "The girl goes
to school, goesn't she?(Hmmm!)
2. From Ajegunle, somewhere in
AJAY High School teacher:"Both of
you three come here!.(Na waooo!)
3. An irritated Safunejo primary
School teacher to a student:
"Tomorrow I want you to come
with your father, your mother and
both your parents!" X_X .
On seeing twins enter his office,
the Deputy Principal of Akara high
School at Mushin said:" You look
together; are you twice, who is
copying who?(Wahala dey oo)
4. Notice at a store in Eko
Idumota: "Open seven days a
week and weekends" (shoo!)
5. Sule admonished two boys who
were arguing:"Don't speak so
twice together, man,Speak once
upon a time!" (Shege!)
6. My favourite remains what
Julius Sofo said:
"I would rather kill myself than
commit suicide ( una dey see am

ndukwejoe:
King U tooooo Muchchchchcchhhchh. U over over killed it.
Bravo

i see u bro

A group of students went on
excursion to Ikogosi waterfalls.
They so had a wonderful time
they did not realize when night
came so they had to stay
overnight to travel the next day.
Unfortunately for them there
were no enough rooms to
accommodate them so they had
to be paired. Emekus was
unfortunately paired with Sister
Bola a Deeper life christian. At bed
time Sister Bola was fully clothed,
tied her scarf and used the
pillows to divide the bed into two
and slept on one side facing the
wall. On seeing this Emekus knew
their was nothing for him and
resigned himself to his fate. On
the journey back to school
following morning, rain was
threatening and a windstorm was
blowing. Sister Bola's scarf was
blown away to rest on a tree top.
The team leader ordered the
driver to stop so Sister Bola's scarf
can be rescued. He nominated
Emekus to go climb the tree and
fetch the scarf being her
roommate. Sister Bola seriously
objected to this saying how can
someone that couldn't climb
ordinary pillow, climb a tree,
laaaf it out jooor

i nominate kingron jare

yoriyori

Idungjay:
Am yet to cee any1 on NL as dumb as u@bin

i support u jare

Crack ur Ribs!!! The youngest son in a
family asked his father, " daddy, what
is d difference btw potentiality &
reality? Dad: I'll show yo u.
He turned to his wife & asked: would u
sleep with
Dangote for N20m?
Wife: yes I would never waste such an
opportunity. Then dad turned to his
daughter: would u sleep wth Femi
Otedola for N20m?
Daughter: yes dat is my fantasy. Dad
turned to his older son: would u sleep
wth Tom Cruise for N10million
SON: yes, imagine wat I'll do with dat
money.
Finally, dad turned to his youngest
son and said. YOU SEE, "Potentially"
we're sitting on N50m but in "reality"
we re living wth two prostitutes and
one Homosexual

Don't focus on
your haters. Focus on your
dreams and your
supporters.

Find someone
who is already what you
want. Instead of someone
that you THINK you can
CHANGE into what you
want. ♥

sorry no jokes 2day_____just quotes make una no vex, Just because a
man acts jealous, it doesn't
mean he loves you or
wants to commit to you.
Most men just don't like to
share pusæsy.

We were
writing our love story. Then
one day you took the pencil
and erased it. ♥

A man and his ever nagging &
troublesome wife were on holiday in
Jerusalem when d wife died suddenly.
The undertaker said it will cost £5000
to ship her home or £50 to bury her
here. The man said ship her home.
They said but Sir why don't you bury
her in the Holy Land & save d money.
The man said "a long time ago a man
called Jesus was buried here & 3 days
later he rose from the dead, I cant
take d risk. Lolz.

Husband: whenever I get mad at you,
you never seem to get upset, how do
you manage to control your temper,
Wife: I just go and clean the toilet.
Husband: How does that help??
Wife: I use your toothbrush!

its been a while, quite busy wit wrk, but here is cool one for ya monday mrning. Julius Malema recently bought a new
automatic car. He drives the car
perfectly well during the day but at
night the car just won't move. He had
tried everything for a week and still
no luck he then furiously calls the
dealership and they send out a tech.
The tech asks are you sure you using
the right gears? He says of course I
am, im not stupit I use D for “day” and
N for ‘night', !

cool

pour acid on him.4 doin dat

i would teach her sex education nd tell her y we shoudnt take ova d situation we find ourselves in

give my middle finger

ARareGem:
^^ She did not say that?!

now i aint sure if she said that or not, waz doubting it too wen i first saw it on a pressboard, saw it in 2 oda boards larra on, probably it is a formd 1 or she said something close to that.

oy caught his dad red handed
with their maid, the dad told his
son "take this 500naira and dont
tell your mum pls", The son
answered," but dad dis is unfair
ooo, "mum gave me 1000naira
when I caught her with d
gateman, lollll

patience dame #gbagaun# jonathan: On behalf of this 20million naira i donate my family,

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday
school. Usually she slept through the class. One
day the teacher called on her while she was
napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the
universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an
altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took
a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!"
shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and
Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher
asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but
Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once
again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her
again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary. The teacher
said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. Then
the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did
Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third
child?" Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This
time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick
that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it
in half!" The Teacher fainted.

booqee:
@Pendusky. Na wa oh. I shake yansh 4 dis your own 'copy and pasting' oh. Before posting a joke, i think u should review d existin jokes in d forum. I posted dis same joke yesterday, and u posted it dis morning! Which level nah?! (its not even up to 24hrs!) shitz

Well i guess u were oblivious of it. It could happen to anybody anyway.
Notwithstanding direct all praises and compliment to me, ok?!

@studio why u lookin for me? To come and see how people are trippin for my joke to d extent of copyin and pasting? I knew u liked it, u were just forming. . .

loool u say person dey copy u, fat lie, this joke has been on NL b4 u eva dreamt of pasting it, #justsaying#

frenchkiss

blow