₦airaland Forum

What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it? You're just jealous,because I can make your wife scream louder than you can!!!

wife:I'm going 2 LONDON.What gift do u want??

husband:One British girl,

wife returns from LONDON ,
,
,
husband:Where is my gift??

wife: Wait for 9 months,

"Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea," a patient
told his urologist on the phone. "The only
woman he's screwed is our maid."
"Ok, don't be hard on him. He's just a kid," the
medic soothed. "Get him in here right away
and I'll take care of him."
"But, Doc. I've been screwing the maid too and
I've got the same symptoms he has."
"Then you come in with him and I'll fix you
both up." Replied the doctor. "Well," the man
admitted, " I think my wife
now has it too."
"Son of a biatch!" the physician roared. "That
means we've all got it!"

Boy: So, sex at my place?

Girl: Yeah!

Boy: OK, but I sleep in a
, bunk bed with my
younger brother and he
thinks we're making
sandwiches so this is the
code.
Cheese= Faster.
Tomato= Harder.

Girl: OK?

~Later~

Girl: CHEESE CHEESE
TOMATO CHEESE!

Brother: Stop making
sandwiches! You're getting
mayo all over my bed!
:oLAFF IT OUT oo!!!

nyc jokes but, i see ur coded works ooo, no think say i no see am o

mikuz:
kingron,
the joke is too advanced for you.

that akward moment Mikuz wanna show he i s dumb i feel ya pain

lol, but what exactly did she want to say

Agybabe:
What the bleep. **FAINTS** *REVIVED* this is serious!

this is really serious, oh boy see yab

^^

Laff it out!!
A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband,
Lady : I lost my Husband
Inspector : What is his height, ??
Lady : I never noticed
Inspector : Slim or healthy, ??
Lady : Not slim can be healthy
Inspector : Color of eyes, ??
Lady : Never noticed
Inspector : Color of hair, ??
Lady : Changes according to season
Inspector : What was he wearing, ??
Lady : suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector : Was somebody with him??
Lady : Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin,tied with a golden chain, height 26 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together & the lady started crying
Inspector : Let’s search for the dog first

An Innocent boy asking: mom why my cousin's name is Jasmin

Mom: because your aunt loves flowers

Son: mom what do you love?

Mom: Dickyy stop asking me such stupid questions =)) =D

pls i am using n8 but what is the advantages of hacking phones, pls someone shud explain this stuff

An old woman has a daughter who lives abroad bt she cannot afford 3square meals a day,1 day d landlord visited d woman and asked her,y are u strugglin to eat wen u ave a child abroad,d old woman replies don't mind dat gal upon al d moni we spent on her,she is only sendin me photograph wit white men,pls can i c d photo,d woman brought it out and it was[b] dollars[/b] ,if u were d landlord wat wil u do?talk true o

Enough of all this "be careful of wat u say against men of God" or"touch not my annointing" blah blah blah, This can only happen in Nigeria am afraid and its partly due to the type of leaders we have who have absolutely no concern for the welfare of the populace, obviously the girl needs help either from poverty or from a psychiatric hospital and all the pastor could do was condemn her to hell because she refused to be labelled a witch? I wonder why these pastors do not practice there brand of christianity in the States or the UK am pretty sure they ll be in jail now for one human right violation of another. Churches need to have boundary which is the responsibilty of a sane government but alas Nigerian does not posses one, Nigerians are the only people on earth that will link loss of Job due to economic recession as the work of witchcraft and the death through accident as the watch of your enemies forgeting the fact that the Car in question is not mechanically sound, of the driver at the wheel is not qualified to drive or even the road itself is not fit for purpose. Nigerians are so helpless but to turn to "men of God" even if the so called "man of God" is obviously wrong all they can offer in response is that "be careful of wat u say against men of God", blah blah blah, Nigeria will NEVER move forward until we are critical of these so called "men of god". (if anybody requires further explanantion I ll be happy to give it.), click here to read more on this topic: http://ngmix.net

seriously boqee is this a joke or a riddle, ( callin others to solve the mystery of this riddle nd get the joke out so i can laff unfortunatel laff no gree come) it makes me rememba maths. Tryn to solve nd get d joke out, but u try sha #justsaying.

@idowu, small progress dey ooo but Obiageli they make fins difficult, she don chop ma moni finish nd she still dey say capital NO, help me talk 2 ha

Idowuogbo:
Awwh ever so polite okay since its a no to menu, care for a quick chat?

lol, me polite (head swelln small) quick chat, not a problem.

Idowuogbo:
Am glad u noticed its hatred no point acknowledging his stupidityyy , I wasn't wrong wen I sed its a personal thing not d thread itself.He go soon kill himself watch Gucci will soon customise dier first coffin,by way u ready for your desert

Hey welcome ,wassup do u care for something on d new improved menu

no, not at all. thanks dearie

saying heloooo to every jokers here bla bla bla bla,

i just hate this this bin crap gbo with a passion, i hate uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

If U have a boyfriend/girl friend U aren't treating right and you are proudly playing i love MY BABY by wizkid na GOD go ___ punish you amen!!!!!

PINGING CHAT
Charmer:::: Hello Sweet Girl
Sweetgal:::: Hi Lover Boy!
Charmer:::: Can I know you more
please?
Sweetgal:::: 17, female, sweet
lips,
bootylicious and Delicious, in Port
Harcourt
and you?
Charmer:::: Mmmmmh, I am in love
already.
I’m 52, male, 6 pack, big Chest,
Port Harcourt.
Sweetgal:::: You're 52? OMG!
Serious . Same
age as my dad.
Charmer:::: I’m just so into fresh
young
beautiful girls.
Sweetgal:::: Do you have a wife?
Charmer:::: Yes, but not as sexy
as you, I have
a daughter, she is in her
bedroom with her
friend doing homework.
Sweetgal:::: Then why do you like
young girls?
Charmer:::: I love them because
they are
beautiful not to mention sexy
and with fresh
boobs and booty
Sweetgal:::: I am also into older
men with
iPhones, ipads, cash and driving
expensive
cars.
Charmer:::: I can offer all of that
and even
more. Sweetgal:::: I think we
should meet
because you are in Port
harcourt and I am
also here.
Charmer:::: That would be nice,
where do I
pick you up tomorrow with my
new G-guard
sexy girl?
Sweetgal:::: Tomorrow I am going
to school it
won’t be possible.
Charmer:::: Or maybe over the
weekend,
going to school is very
important.
Sweetgal:::: While still chatting let
me continue
with my homework I don’t want
my dad to
know that i have a BB, he will
be mad at me.
Charmer:::: Which homework is
that? maybe I
can assist you.
Sweetgal:::: It's a Biology
assignment and my
friend Lucy is assisting me
Charmer:::: Hey, your friend’s
name is Lucy?
Sweetgal:::: Yes.
Charmer:::: Exactly where in Port
Harcourt are
you?
Sweetgal:::: Woji and you?
Charmer:::: Mercy!!! is that
you
Sweetgal:::: Dad, is that yo

slap1:
Lucky cat, gals will be running after it.

, hmmn na so girls like money reach

mumuuuuuuu

jennykadry:
This is not funny, what nonsense

haba! u don vex

Tommasino, an Italian cat who was
rescued as a stray by a wealthy Italian
woman Maria Assunta, has become
the third richest animal in the world
inheriting over $15 million after his
wealthy owner died and left him the
entire family fortune.
Maria Assunta died last month aged 94
years old and according to lawyers
entrusted with her estate, left the
fortune in property to Tommasino.
Ms Assunta had a large property
portfolio with homes and villas across
the country, as well as several bulging
bank accounts and share portfolios but
no living relatives.
Lawyers Anna Orecchioni and Giacinto
Canzona who are representing her say
that she left the fortune to Tommasino
in a will she wrote and deposited with
them in their office in Rome in October
2009.
Mrs Orecchioni explained that under
Italian law Tommassino is not
entitled to inherit the money directly
and the will also asked for the money
to be given to a ‘worthy animal
association, if one could be found.’
Tommasino will be joining other
millionaire animals such as Gunther a
German Shepherd thought to be the
world’s richest animal after inheriting
$141 million from his wealthy heiress
owner – Karlotta Liebenstien. Another
member of this exclusive club is the
cat “Blackie” who was left $14million
by British recluse ben Rea
As Yorubas will say “Osi ni le pako”

A lady with large boobs enters a bus. She has a rosary around her neck wit d cross in btw her big breast and d guy sitting beside her can't just stop starring at her. Realizing dt he had been starring for over 10 minutes, d lady, touching d rosary asks d guy; "Are you looking at Jesus Christ who was crucified on d cross?" The guy replies; "No, I'm actually looking at the two thieves crucified beside Him" lolz!

lovely, u try oo

loooool, this is one is funny o, yeeeee, (beatng head like papa ajasco)Ojigbijigbijigbi

SON: Daddy, daddy Barca beat
Manchester United last night!
DADDY: It wasn't Barca. it was
Basel; they just wore Barca jerseys
to scare Manchester United, :-)

An American, a Japanese, and a
Nigerian were sitting Unclad in
the sauna. Suddenly there is a
beeping sound.
The American presses his forearm
and the beeping stops. The others
look at him questioningly. "That's
my pager," he says. "I have a
microchip under the skin of my
arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The Japanese lifts his palm to his
ear. When he finishes he explains,
"That's my mobile I have a
microchip in my hand."
The Nigerian, feeling decidedly
low-tech but not to be outdone,
decided he had to do something
just as impressive.
He steps out of the sauna and
goes to the toilet. He returns with
a piece of toilet paper hanging
from his butt. The others raised
their eyebrows and said, "Wow!
What's that?"
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.

Laugh your sorrow out: Husband files 4 divorce, judge asks d
reason? Husband replies, me no cum, she no cum, baby come, how
come?

Studio CFR:
i nominate kingron
he rocks

thank u ore, evn though i knw say i no deserv am