₦airaland Forum

Funmi_le_hot: returning back to uyo from home place lasgidi 2mao sure pass.
missing my boo like crazy,missing my friends,miss etighi dance,missing afang soup,edikaikong,native soup,white soup, lol
still not gotten over mami days

eh u neva cease to amaze me on this thread.I hardly comment on nairaland i only read & go. But babez dis ur constant bragging is somtin else. U kip going on and on about dis ur boo and then mami tinz. I can bet d guy has a serious relationship wit a gud girl b4 meeting u on dis thread and in camp, and still has. And then u keep showing off how u enjoyed mami,is it dat u living a boring life befor d camp ne? E sha rora. Toh!

Anyone posted to ogba side in lag??

Our God is just a wonderful God!

Hello, i'm so glad bout this thread. I've never used a real smart phone. Been used to nokia symbian all my life..with 25k wat nice smart phone can i get?? Thanks.

An0nimus: omoh i'm jus seein m'corazon's pic o no wonder Tuk say make you contest for Miss NYSC. I support am 101%

tuktudicko: Damn!!!!
Anonimous u b detective? See how u dig her pix out cum cast am
Omoh d babe na one million
Check out dose lips, cud kiss em for hours

i don't see wat d hype is all about. .

@topic. I can finally login and comment, cos i'm now a bonafide member, instead of viewing as a guest, my call up no is finally out! #team lagos

An atheist came to a Sheikh (MUSLIM) and asked the following questions.
Atheist: Why is it Not
Permissible in Islam for a Women to shake hands with a Man?
Sheikh: Can you shake hands with Queen Elizabeth?
Athiest: Of course not, there are only certain people who can shake hands with Queen Elizabeth.
Sheikh replied: Our Women are Queens and Queens do not shake hands with strange men. Atheist asked another
Question: Why do your Girls cover up their body?
Sheikh: Smiled and got two sweets, he opened the first one and kept the other one closed, He threw them both on the dusty floor and asked the atheist, If you're to take one of the sweets which one will
you choose?
Atheist: The covered
one.
Sheikh: That's how we treat and see our women, Women
should not be like the Moon which everyone can See and Admire, they should be like the Sun which makes the Viewers Lower their Gaze.
Atheist: Show me God if he exists.
Sheikh: Look at the Sun?
Athiest: Replied, I Can't see, the Rays hurt my eyes.
Sheikh: If you can't look at the Creation of God then how will
you be able to Look at the Creator??
Lastly the Athiest invited the Sheikh to his house and gave
him Grapes, the Sheikh ate them, then he offered him a
cup of wine, the Sheikh refused, the Non-Muslim asked
him how come you Muslims are forbidden wine and eat grapes although the wine
came from grapes?
Sheikh: Do you have a
daughter?
Atheist: yes. Sheikh: Can you marry her?
Atheist: No
Sheikh: Subhanallah, you marry her mother and can't marry her although she came
from her. Like if you believe in this knowledge..

An atheist came to a Sheikh (MUSLIM) and asked the following questions.
Atheist: Why is it Not
Permissible in Islam for a Women to shake hands with a Man?
Sheikh: Can you shake hands with Queen Elizabeth?
Athiest: Of course not, there are only certain people who can shake hands with Queen Elizabeth.
Sheikh replied: Our Women are Queens and Queens do not shake hands with strange men. Atheist asked another
Question: Why do your Girls cover up their body?
Sheikh: Smiled and got two sweets, he opened the first one and kept the other one closed, He threw them both on the dusty floor and asked the atheist, If you're to take one of the sweets which one will
you choose?
Atheist: The covered
one.
Sheikh: That's how we treat and see our women, Women
should not be like the Moon which everyone can See and Admire, they should be like the Sun which makes the Viewers Lower their Gaze.
Atheist: Show me God if he exists.
Sheikh: Look at the Sun?
Athiest: Replied, I Can't see, the Rays hurt my eyes.
Sheikh: If you can't look at the Creation of God then how will
you be able to Look at the Creator??
Lastly the Athiest invited the Sheikh to his house and gave
him Grapes, the Sheikh ate them, then he offered him a
cup of wine, the Sheikh refused, the Non-Muslim asked
him how come you Muslims are forbidden wine and eat grapes although the wine
came from grapes?
Sheikh: Do you have a
daughter?
Atheist: yes. Sheikh: Can you marry her?
Atheist: No
Sheikh: Subhanallah, you marry her mother and can't marry her although she came
from her. Like if you believe in this knowledge..

Hmm..the poster was right. They just don't disappoint...

Spot on. I hardly comment here..but i cannot help but comment on this topic. I think it will also be good that they create a section for them. They derail christian threads a lot. I hope the moderators and owners consider this. Very nice idea

Details in link;

Na wa oh.

nikkyshyne: ^^ Nope. To make shivers run down our spine

now here is d joke! Lol..

Ok

crackhouse: ur Dad must be a stack illitrate for u to have tricked him with that.

dude wats d crime in been a stark illiterate! If his dad was one nko?? Ehn ehn??

Between, you are even worse dan an illiterate! Just look at you, is dat how to spell stark(stack) and illiterate(illitrate). Olodo oshi!

ghettodreamz: U bad gan oooo,respect \o/ .

MY OWN STORY LONG SMALL OOOOOO

[s]I can't remember me playing any trick on my parents, but I can still remember vividly several of them while I was growing up and was living with an uncle. I used to have a very strict and great disciplinarian as an uncle. You should know what it would be like having a strict secondary school teacher as an uncle,he hardly let me go out of the room and play with other co-tenant's kids (living in first floor of a 2 storey building). I grew up being a tough and very stubborn boy, used to play rough back in those days,having injured several young kids while playing rough with them. The moments their parents were home, the next knock on our door would be theirs, they've come to report me. It always land me in serious trouble, 12 or more strokes of caning using 'Pankere'. He always keep 2 or 3 canes at home for my sake, and at times he comes home with new set of canes from the secondary school where he teaches. After serious caning, I got adapted to it and I rarely feel the pains anymore won't even cry unlike when the whole corporal punishment thing was new to me.

YOU ARE NOT TIRED READING, ARE YOU?

When he discovered that I've developed a thick skin to the caning, he introduced another punishment methodology, Cigar Obo (Monkey's cigarette) & touching the right toe with your fingers with your other leg raised up from the ground. Omo, na serious war when you don't grow up with your parents oooo. He refrained me from using the Blackpunkt Color TV Set & Sharp VHS player.

The harder and tougher he punishes me, the harder and more stubborn it get me ooo. The last punishment I could remember of, was him giving me tedious Mathematical Assignment to do from the Primary Six Macmillan Textbook while I was still in Primary Four. Of course, to him he knew what he was doing, knowing fully well that it would take me forever to get the questions solved. Imagine, being given 20 mathematical questions from Primary Six Textbook while I was still in Primary Four, TO HIM, me solving the questions really wasn't the point but just to get me busy for hours while he was away from home till he returns later in the evening after school.

DID I STILL HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION?
After being tired of boredom and being locked indoor, I discovered my uncle always knock dust his shoe on the staircase anytime he's around.[/s] [b]Since that day, the moment he's out to work leaving me several mathematical questions, I would just plug the electronic gadgets insert a Yoruba movie (Do you still remember those Opomulero Mainframe Movies Era), chillax and enjoy my movies. The moment it's afternoon and the time he always arrive home was near, I would be vigilant. The moment, I heard someone knock dusting his footwear on the staircase I will eject the VHS cassette from the player, switch off the TV and resorted to solving the mathematical problems he gave me while he was leaving home in the a.m. [/b]

It wasn't easy growing up with my uncle, but it does made me a CONFIRM SHARP BOY

all those long story weren't necessary. The part i dint cancel is d actual prank d op is asking of you. Elejo wewe ni e!

all4naija: You mean 17 years old is a child?

mumu d guy said when he was a teen not when he was a child. Ode!

Its about dat time mr slowpoke president! About time. Mtcheww

Dis bingbagbo sha..all ur jokes, its either people faint, fall into coma, collapse, menstruate on the spot or have a cardiac arrest!
You dey try small sha..but u aint d president cos you're not always funny. U try anyway

Lol

^^as if d jokes you post were not also stolen from somewhere too. Thief like you.

@op. Nice copy and paste jare. lol

You tried

Dis gurl called bunmi is meant to be ur vice president. Infact sef d president of critics. Dat lady can criticise mehn! If she criticise ur joke, you'll almost burst into tears. [s]but i won't lie she knows how to criticise and she does it very rightly.[/s]

Another annoying critic is dis guy ajibel. mtcheww

Taa! Its absolutely not advisable! I'm talking from experience ni oh.
Mine is even worse..i dated my hallmate. D relationship didn't even last a year. What is more? I saw him rolling around with a girl i'm not even sure they're dating anyway, and d jealousy i felt rekindles d pain i tried to bury, despite d fact i was d one who called it quits with him.
its even worse since i even get to see him almost everyday everytime..he's fucking living in my house mehn!. I'm just so glad i'm bout to graduate. And i'm learning to move on with my life too.

Though i wouldn't lie oh,.it was fun, it was really fun..having ur bf or gf always around is such fun and romantic..but then too much familiarity is sometimes not healthy for a relationship or most anyway. So it just didn't last.

So i repeat...! IT IS NOT ADVISABLE! Gbam!

urmm.....i tot dis is jokes section?? Mtcheww

Nice!

Brond?? Na wa oh. *Smh*.....

Wow.....nice joke!

U made d joke dry sort of. It lacks something.

aweda007: @poster...itz 'went'. Abi u wan b anoda dame, or una go ds same schl ni?...lol. Itz hightime she went 4 an english class or it was hightime she went 4 an english class. BOTH statements r correct.

mummy3: @poster is it WENT or GO for an english class? pls u also have error

but from what i can see its 'went' the poster typed not go. So ITK, wetin u dey correct for here? I'm confused

I love all d jokes especially d first joke! Lol