₦airaland Forum

Chubhie:
➜ Kobo love, didn't you do traditional marriage?

Again, your traditional ideas mean absolutely nothing when it comes to the committing of crimes. So why are you bringing that up here? What for? Are you certain you are OK like this?

Chubhie:
➜They married traditionally kobo love. Umunna and Umuada will judge this.

Your traditional ideas mean absolutely nothing when it comes to the committing of crimes. So why are you bringing that up here? What for? Are you certain you are OK like this?

madridguy:
➜I don't think a good son will marry without his parent approval. 8 out of 10 people that married their spouses against their parents approval or blessing always end up regretting of their action.

See stewpid arse lie! 🥱🥱🥱🥱

In the Northern parts of Nigeria, where these things are a lot clearer to follow, almost 100% of the marriages there are with parental consent, yet almost 60% of marriages end in official divorce there. So, how then can someone who has eyes to count his teeth claim that, magically, in Southern Nigeria, it is those who married without parental consent that are bound to see their marriages end up in regret? Nonsense!

Chubhie:
➜Kobo love, let's follow tradition on this.

What I stated is what your law has said on this issue since as far back as the 80s/90s, when even I first used it. Does your tradition trump your very Laws?

Chubhie:
➜Fair play judge Judy.

Not fair at all. Following the Law, he should be arrested, charged, and caused to pay fines and/or serve jail time.

Lithiumite:
✓ For her father to have had the will to arrest the guy,he most likely wouldn't be a poor man.....but in all,it's wrong,
✓ they should have allowed commonsense to prevail......
✓ her family has already added to her life issues by helping break her home.......
✓ to all those screaming domestic violence,not all men are animals,I once hit my wife out of anger but I still feel sorry till this day.....
✓ so many marital issues could be resolved with just a simple sit down.

The man was arrested? That is good news, abeg!

2. Someone slapped another someone common sense is to have him arrested and charged. Sadly, people like you don't even know what common sense means.

3. They instead added to her confidence in life both as a human being and a woman. No body should allow bullying!

4. A man who bullies/assaults a woman is an abuser.

5. Assault is not a marital issue but a breach of human right, and her parents did the right thing by arresting him and hopefully having him charged and recorded as a criminal offender.

Ifeola1:
✓ She can be happy leaving a toxic relationship but she can't be happy be a divorce after weeks of marriage

Nonsense talk ... You mean she would have been happier married to her enemy? 🥱🥱🥱

Newsmills:
✓ Nothing is wrong with filing for divorce but the parents should endeavour to return anything returnable including the dowry to the estranged husband with short fuse, and also the husband should raise farm animals and learn animal husbandry because attitudes of some opposite sexes are similitude to,so that some form of simulations,before going into another.....knowing quite well proper upbringings are rarer.......,Well goodness.

The man should equally be fined for medical and emotional trauma caused by the slap.(All this is assuming he paid anything, to begin with.)The fact that she did not have him charged for assault...he should be thankful for.

It may even be best she have him charged so every other woman out there is easily warned of the fact that he is an abuser, and not husband material.

lagostrendboy:
https://eyesoflagos.com/drama-as-woman-files-for-divorce-just-a-week-after-wedding/

2 days after wedding?😩😩😩😩😩

Nnamdipapa:
✓ Have you ever considered what the guy wants? Tried to see things from his point of view just for once?
✓ Did you consider if you are constantly doing things or not doing things that make his life miserable?
✓ You see, expectation is like a two-way street and when you make someone unhappy and still expect loyalty from that individual? Come on

Neither a woman nor a man is a mind reader. There is no way either can know what is in the mind of the other except the one communicates it.

2. Again, communication is key! You have to open up about these things in a relationship, not clam up only to then whine about your partner trying to use other means to access the necessary information.

3. The expectation in relationship including marriage is open communication. If you are not open to that then take it that the marriage is not for you and quickly exit. Holding another man's child hostage amounts to you holding yourself hostage too in these things. 🥱🥱

Nnamdipapa:
➜So again I ask: why do women believe their husbands are under total control, and must be monitored 24/7? Don’t you people get tired?
➜Marriage does not automatically mean access to every single aspect of a man’s life. The life of an African man is hard enough, sometimes he just deserves small enjoyment without his privacy being constantly violated.
➜I honestly don’t get it. Maybe some of you can explain whether you really think marriage gives you the right to every corner of your husband’s life, including his private space. I come in peace. Hehehehehe.

Your title is misleading as it assumes that only women snoop around their spouses' phones. There are enough posts here on Nairaland— Romance section to be exact— revealing that both males and females are guilty of this sort of snooping, particularly those who are insecure and anxious in their relationship.

2. Marriage may not be that, but it does remain that for two people to successfully maneuver a marriage, there ought to be openness and extensive communication between the two. You have made it abundantly known to all of us here on Nairaland that you have checked out on that marriage, meaning you are just living with a roommate all of this time. Your wife isn't on the same page as you there, as her snooping through your phone means she is unsure of the present and the future of the relationship she has with you. If she shared the same feelings you do regarding the marriage, she would probably not be in the same bed with you or even pay attention to anything that has to do with you.

And again, a lot of men do the same.

3. Again, this ain't really about women but about a communication gap that seems to exist in your relationship there.

DrakenAubrey:
➜What happens to husbands with late mothers? oh the mother in-laws come from the grave to cause chaos in the marriage? Wake up my dear.

Huh??

DrakenAubrey:
➜If this was fact based how come we have a continuous generation of people getting married? You need to stop the narrative of blaming mother in-laws for every crash that happens in marriages. Some are self inflicted by both parties

Self-inflicted in the sense that someone in that marriage home had to permit the outsider to come in to cause commotion — assuming that be the case, of course.

If a man allows his mother into his marriage to dabaru things, no be im mama fault but na him own. The same goes for the woman.

DAramis:
➜I understand you. As for your last paragraph, both of us know that most family men don't allow their wife to add her own surname (hyphenated/ shared surname) together with his except if she is from a very rich, influnencial and prominent family.
Anyway, to each his own.

1. All the more reason why the woman should endeavor to leave the children with the man when she finally leaves him, or settle for nothing less than co-parenting if the marriage were to end.

Okpetruth:
➜This is the nonsense we get this days in Nigeria because we westernized our lives. Our culture has been thrown overboard. Women are now the owner of the house who gives order and permission. We are Africans for crying out loud. The wife is subject to the family she is married into and not the reverse.
➜ This must stop because we make mockery of our culture, tradition and our custom. How many times have the west change theirs to accommodate our culture? We have to re-examine ourselves how we dangerously deviated and retrace our footsteps before it's too late.

She is subject to the family, yet the man can also decide to send her back to her family when he is done with her?

2. Thankfully, what is being stopped is the ludicrous practice of making the woman a slave to her husband and family, all because she agreed to marriage.

DAramis:
➜Not every man out there is a deadbeat father.
➜In situation such happens, the woman is free to switch the name if the said husband abandon her and the kids.

That does not change the fact that the vast majority of Nigerian men in Nigeria literally abandon the children the same moment or before they abandon the wife too. Even your Nollywood movies clearly capture this fact of life and living for married/divorced or abandoned women very clearly.

Why should she switch the name when the children are his, too? She can maybe add hers to the name, but she should never take full custody of the kids unless he is a violent/abusive father.

DAramis:
She can keep her name if she insists but the kids must definitely take up the man's surname.

And when the man abandons the wife, and in most cases the children as well, the children will keep the man's name, abi? Women need to normalize giving their children's father full custody or at least accept nothing less than shared custody in the case of divorce.

Abeg, enough of this paternity fraud news trend already. If people are sure that this trend is new, then I dare those who complain that it is to go get a paternity test done, comparing their DNA to that of their parents, and then upload the results for us all to see. Make we know how many of you here be your own papa child. (No 419 responses, please.)

Tony609:
➜For what in my own house. I didn't joke with my family, my wife knows it, especially my mum.

. If you still refer to that house as your own house in marriage, then you are not married. As for the woman pretending to be married to you, my advice to her would be that she put a huge distance between her and you — she should run away like her life depends on it. Because the day you decide to kick her out yourself— along with any children she has had with you in that charade—, she is likely going to have to start life afresh with nothing to her name at that point in her life.

xtianchris:
Please read again and use the bolded word and count your teeth...

I see you are not able to reason outside of the box that you were raised in. I will choose to walk away at this point in time.

xtianchris:
➜Why are you bittered. I still stand by my word. I bet you can even resign I leave your Job as a provider of your family to take care of your sick Daddy. If you like no go get girl child na oyo be your name .. Your sons have their own responsibility. They can only provide a care giver . I have sat with Men matured men and discussed about family I can authoritatively most of them all say their daughters look out for them ..I BET YOU Don't have your Family.
If you don't you won't say trash. ..Don't forget to get a female child or adopt . If not you go suffer for Naija ..

This comment of yours is nonsensical at best.

bolademi:
➜Calm down let her stay in ur sister place and when her own people too want to come stop them from coming. Simple

Because you assume the unemployed sister has a place for her to stay, right?

BadEnglish:
➜In his own house? He can't care for his mother there? You people dey sick o

. If you still refer to that house as your own house in marriage, then you are not married. As for the woman pretending to be married to you, my advise to her is that she put a huge distance between her and you — she should run away like her life depends on it. Because the day you decide to kick her out yourself— along with any children she has had with you in that charade—, she is likely going to have to start life afresh with nothing to her name at that point in her life.

MiddleDimension:
➜You talk like you don't know what this is about. Can't you see she said it is not her 'job'? The normalization of the orstracisation of men's family we see all in the name of woke feminism is abhorent!
➜The worst thing is men like you have been successfully bullied into this deranged, damaging and woke mindset!
➜ Notice how wives's family are welcomed with open arms and she WILL NOT HAVE ANY OBJECTION to her own mother coming around. Again, like I told Poco

It is not your wife's job to care for your aging mother. She is right! Your aging mother is your job as her child, and you should only foist her on someone else if and only if you are willing to pay that person to serve as her caretaker.

2. When my grandmother was sick and unable to do much back in the early 2000s, her son, who was unmarried at the time, was the one who cared for her right there in Nigeria. He didn't get married until about 10 years after she had passed. He hired a helper at the time who worked as her caregiver right there in his house. She was the one who stayed with my grandmother 24/7 until the end.

It seems this new woke system you all love to hate has given you a lot of an avenue to blame something else for your inability to process life and living on this planet reasonably.

3. A wife's family needs to be treated equally to the man's family. If the wife is allowed to bring over and care for her mother, then the man should be able to bring over his mother and care for her himself too.... not offload the care to his wife as though she is a slave to him and his family in marriage.

tollyboy5:
➜I can see you in old people care home looking lost and lonely . The future is closer, count your age and look into your mirror

Millions of people here are in old people's care homes and having the time of their lives. Some even host their own kids and even grandkids from time to time. Nothing wrong with that.

Unfortunately, I will likely not have a chance to go to one of those places to live, as chances are higher that I will work until the day I die, and gladly too.

Akuruoulo:
➜Ya but bringing her own mum to conscript the man financial burden is a go go go

They are married, meaning they share financial resources at least. If she cannot bring her mother, then why should the man bring his own mother?

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7538927433110555935

jmoore:
➜Because the men were proposed with pregnancy. A woman told you she's pregnant and you are rushing to marrying her.
Inasmuch I don't support fornication, my advice to any man that wants to marry a woman who says she's pregnant is to wait till she gives birth before you think about marriage.
As for me, I will marry a virgin woman.

What part of the write-up leads you to believe that men who married virgin women are not implicated?

PerfectStranger:
➜Hes d head of the house,his decision is final

Oh, so they are no longer one again. He is instead the head of the household, while she is his slave in marriage? Right, right! Shifting goalpost check confirmed!