₦airaland Forum

Trymeee:
➜You folks are selfish.
I believe it's also fair for parents not to also invest in their kids or send them to school etc. as the money they used in doing that can be used to invest in their own future.

So, you literally see your children as slaves then?

RaySimran:
✓ This culture of "Parent shouldn't hope on their kids as retirement plan" is alien to Africa. African culture was built on the coexistence of family living as a strong unit supporting each other.
✓ In the West, the government has a bogus balance to support senior citizens, we don't have that in Africa.
There are limited opportunities in the black mans world, many parents forgone their dreams, funnelling all their resources to give their wards a better life.
Taking care of your parents is not a curse, karma will smile at you when it's your turn.

It is alien yet many of the rich in the same Africa are known to leave legacies for their children and grandchildren?

2. And this reality has yet to result in the black man cutting his coat according to his size -- have less children or even forego entirely? I mean why so many excuses for why the black man should not be expected to use his head? 😄🥱🥱

Dbeautyy:
✓ it's a double sided knife ( Sword )
“Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— Eph 6:2
A good person leaves an inheritance to his grandchildren, And the wealth of a sinner is stored up for the righteous. Proverbs 13:22

There is nothing double sided about the content of the book; you are merely lacking in the comprehension department. Clearly, the book is clear that parents are regarded as wicked if they do not leave an inheritance for their children meaning that those of them who use their kids as a retirement plan, some going as far as I to claim they had to put their lives on hold for the sake of their kids, are evil.

Toruibestate:
✓ You have great points here. Let's just take it that it's the culture of Africa.

A culture that literally continues to kill Africa should be done away with, not preserved or extolled.

thesicilian:
✓ I get what you mean, but looking at it from our parents own perspectives, most of them put their lives on hold for us to become who we are today. It's only fair that we return the favour now that we can fend for ourselves and they can no longer work as hard as they used to.

Nonsensical and utterly meaningless excuse!

no20022:
✓ I don't even know why I am even complaining about this. Most bad parents, regardless of where they came from, won't change. It's your fault for the things that you did that caused them to be bad towards you, everyone is out to get them, everyone is picking on them, and they are just helpless victims of everyone.

Most of those you refer to as bad parents were themselves raised under bad parenting conditions, and never got around to correcting those traumas from their own past before becoming parents themselves.

no20022:
✓ This is why I said I am jealous of the Americans who didn't go to college and started work immediately after high school. They were wiser than me because they found an opportunity to get away from their family. Plus college doesn't even guarantee you a good job.

High school did not guarantee the Americans jobs withers. What instead did was their using their heads and the skills they already had where they could. You have advanced certificates so what is stopping you from doing the same even now?

Prec1ous:
✓ Sorry,is the closing BBCode tag to get italics and bold on a forum like Nairaland. Errors are not uncommon. Focus on the message or stay mute.
If it does not resonate to you, leave it for those it resonate with. What is bigger than you, will always be bigger than you.

BBcode is not the matter here. It is the suggestion that laziness is not a real thing that I was drawn to; such a claim should not be traded whether it resonates or not.

99thEnemy:
✓ LLMs leave traces all over. makes them pretty easy to spot

Huhh? I am afraid I do not know what you mean by LLMs? 🤔

no20022:
Most parents don’t care about the bad impact they make as kids. It’s always someone else’s fault…or their child’s fault for behaving a certain way. There’s no point always expecting things to change because they never will.

What do you expect when people who have no business being parents are literally conned into becoming that? Nigeria is a society where people believe that to be regarded as successful there must be marriage and children and so many follow along without questioning knowing fully well they do not have what it really takes to raise another decent human being.

Racoon:
"Dear Parents" By Obafemi Hamzat, Lagos Deputy Governor

Lagos Deputy Gov., Hamzat Writes Parents on Faulty Parenting, Imminent Dangers.
https://businesshilights.com.ng/2025/07/21/lagos-deputy-gov-hamzat-writes-parents-on-faulty-parenting-imminent-dangers/

All the ones wey wash plates, do chores and still ended up political lords and touts, oppressing the people, nko?

Abeg, focus on doing the actual job you were hired to do.🥱🥱🥱

Flakky26:
✓ Naturally ,after God ,,,our parents should be the first Humans we have a duty to honour ,respect and care for. Spending on our parents should be a thing of joy and honor to them which has a great reward and blessings. ... Some are living BIG ..But their parents are living a small life , the kind of life they are living is not honorable. Pls have a rethink ..if you think your parents are in this kind of ugly situation. It doesn't make sense if you pay your tithe, give seeds to your pastor and you can't remember when last you send money to your parents, even if our parents are wealthy, they still deserve our money.
Lets know how much you have spent on your parents this year and also the special gift you have given them.
This is to challenge someone who has not been spending enough on their parents.

Na so una dey always use religion to browbeat those who don't know better into adopting your particular lies and wickedness. Na this kain nonsense dey carry people who were raised by deadbeat parents into living a life of slavery for the same parents responsible for why their lives are hellish.

Prec1ous:
✓ Raw Truths. Real Growth.[/i][/b]

E be like say chatgot was created to favor motivational speakers the most.

Laziness is real! 🥱🥱🥱

no20022:
✓ He’s younger. Plus he’s long gone and moved out. This stuff happened years ago and he hasn’t been violent since.
✓ I think my mom blames me for his actions because of internalized misogyny. Plus she tolerated our dad putting hands on her so she probably expects me to tolerate the same thing too. She even thinks that siblings hurting each other is normalised (I mean as kids yes but adults…no).

The thing is I think I hate my family because I’m expected to tolerate their bad behavior but if a man outside of the family did the same thing, he would be condemned.

1. So, your brother no longer lives in the house or abuses you. Then that is good news as you don't necessarily have to move out unless your mother brings other bullies in to do the job in his absence.

2. Stop focusing on your mom and her issues then, and focus instead on healing from the hurts of your past. Your write up makes it all seem ongoing when it really ain't meaning your hurts are what keep replaying for you there. Recall what I said of therapy, well, you need it. Consider the empty chair idea whenever you can.

As for your mother, you cannot change her nor erase her past. You can learn from her mistakes(and maybe successes if any) and work towards becoming a better human and maybe woman than she ever was and could be. No need to live stewing in the hurts of your past and hers. It ain't worth it.

no20022:
✓ He’s younger. Plus this is why I wish I started working instead of going to college.
✓ I’m stuck with useless degrees that aren’t helping me with a job search. I envy people who moved out at younger ages like 18-20 because I feel they are more mature than me.

Your younger brother assaults you and your mother says it is OK? You need to get out of the house as soon as you can.

So long as you are literate, there is a lot you can do out there even these days. You don't need to depend on degrees but on your ability to learn and grow and innovate.

Find accommodation with a relative who lives close to a public library or something, if you can, and use the opportunity to both apply for jobs and explore ways that grow your mind and skill set.

Fiscus105:
✓ At 32, you still staying in your mama house, anything ur eye sees accept it, even if you haven't married, move out and rent ur own apartment and leave with the way you want.

Is the older brother not equally there in the mama house? Why make it seem it is OK for him to be there for not for her?

parkervero:
✓ I did not intend to reply earlier, but seeing that your moniker bears a Christian name, it suggests to me that you may not have read the quran—which muslims believe is the word of Allah.
Let’s begin with this: Please read quran 5:51-52 and share your thoughts.

Reading one or two passages in the Quran does not serve as proof here since the character of the Allah of the Muslim goes beyond spurious claims made. The fact here is the deity of the Muslims does not, in any way or form resemble the YHWH of the Israelites. Unless you are also attempting to lead us to believing that the Allah of the Muslims is the same character as the Orunmila of the Yorubas, the Ra of the Egyptians and the Zeus of the Greeks, among others.

Racheal45:
✓ Bro u are so ignorant The diff na language
Jus for instance u asking if chineke is same as God

Are you insinuating that this chineke of yours is the same character as Zeus, the Greek God then?

Maeve7:
➜Then there is still three kids under five. How do you have energy to cheat after three pregnancies and with toddlers around the house? I don’t buy.

It's quite possible. Not all people who are mothering —and fathering — should. With 3 kids, all of them 5 and below, I can see where depression could easily come from.

NotOfThisWorld:
➜Does he also attend the same Church? He should call her out and call out the man she has been sleeping with

. For what purpose?

CoolUsername:
➜The spectacular nature and frequency of miracles have been inversely proportional to the availability of the technology to properly capture the evidence of their occurrence.

Storyland! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

EkoErrands:
➜Reality is only one dimension, when you see other dimensions you will understand.

Huh? Is reality one-dimensional? Are you sure you know what you are talking about there? 😐😐😐😐

Ezeama400:
➜No, it’s not betrayal. Many people that relocated abroad don’t find it easy at early 1-5years after relocating.. To Start life afresh can drain one mentally
➜So many many things to sort out especially bills and debts.You don’t expect people to to sleep online replying your chat all the time when no serious issue is bn discussed .. So many Nigerians always accuse people that migrated out of the country of having pride by not getting in touch with them the way they used to, without considering what that person is passing through

1. Too many people confuse it with taking a trip or vacation, or moving to another town in the same country. It ain't the same at all. It is more like having a complete mental shift, which takes a serious toll on many at the beginning.

2. Even taking in the law, local rules, and ordinances of your new country, state, and district alone na full-time mental job.

EkoErrands:
➜Its John's fault, as a man you must decern. What do I mean by that. As a man in the spirit, it shouldn't take you more than 3 years to decipher if the energy in a location is a home breaker or not. If you move with your family to any location that is energetically low, you will lose your marriage and there will be no logical reason for that. Some estates in this Lagos also have that energy. As soon as you move in you will no longer understand your wife again.

This here is all in a bid to remain in denial of reality ooo!

maasoap:
➜The only nonsense I could see here is the bolded part of your comment. Going by your comments and contributions to topics here, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you, honestly speaking.

Clearly, what is so far away from you is honesty! 🥱🥱🥱

Babatundehy:
➜Beggars cannot be choosers, you were definitely an inconvenience he tolerated, he didn't think of you before getting that apartment, he got it for himself, you needed a place and he let you in. Mopping, sweeping and even cooking, are things you should have done happily, that is just you earning your keep, forget your age, that is nothing, age doesn't pay rent.
Telling you to hang around some place because his babe is at the house isn't him being bad, would you have preferred he got an hotel room for that? You were the homeless one, not him. More people need to learn to appreciate people when they're being kind, lessen the inconvenience they pose by every means possible, I'm glad you remain grateful to him, what you went through is nothing compared to having no one, homelessness.

This is terrible reasoning!

Nnamdipapa:
➜At least an apology, whether sincere or not, is still required when caught. You add salt to an injury by turning around to blame the victim.

Well, your friend would need to seek closure in some other way.

Nnamdipapa:
➜No, I am not judging from the write up above.
➜ Maybe my friend would not be very hurt of she had apologized for the mistake and pledge to a better commitment to the marriage instead of outrightly blaming the husband.

Most men and women who cheat do not apologize! Gender and tribe have absolutely nothing to do with this.

2. Also, many of those who apologize end up repeat offenders. So, does getting an apology after cheating make the fact that the marriage has been fractured at its core somehow go away? I don't think so. I wholly believe that a marriage ends the moment one spouse cheats; a divorce should follow immediately after that. If, after individual counseling and serious reflection, the two decide to give the relationship a try again, fine.

Disenfranchised:
➜I never see the pussycat Wey go make me abandon my biological children even if she be angelic being.

But you would abandon those same children if the woman stopped revealing herself as an angelic being to you, abi? This is the thing... if your relationship with your own children depends on whether the woman in the picture is in your favor or not pretty much reveals you as a terrible father.

Nnamdipapa:
➜I am saying this because it is the fact of the situation. As a guy, I will not blame my wife to her face for my cheating even if her actions indirectly led to the cheating. As much I don't want this to degenerate into gender blames, I find that most women find it very hard to take accountability for their actions looking for someone to blame instead of looking at the mirror.

You are the one trying to make this a gender issue since most men who cheat do the exact same thing. How many of our fathers cheated on our mothers only to then blame the women for not being caring enough, beautiful enough, good enough in bed, good cooks, etc.?

AngelahFlo:
➜ The fact that something exists and the Bible proves it means it's real. Christianity and Christiandom are two different things. One is a lifestyle while the other is a religion. You can argue this till eternity, it won't negate the truth. This particular issue will be treated in another topic.
➜ The four Gospels all prove that Jesus shed His blood for us when he died on the cross. He didn't do it for a select few but for those who are sinners so they can be reconciled back to God as it was intended at the beginning when God created Adam the first man before he fell. Like I said earlier this topic is for another thread. Just had to include it here to refute your claim

1. These are religious cock-and-bull stories that have nothing to do with the Bible. That book is not proof of anything that pertains to Christianity or your Christiandoms.

2. Again, there is no direct connection between your religious delusions and the content of that book of books.

AngelahFlo:
➜My Good brother it's not completely true that Christians worship 46000 different images of YHWH..
➜ I only know of Catholic Christians who worship an image of God in the person a of Jesus and His mother Mary.
➜ Real Christians who've been saved by the blood of Jesus, worship YHWH in their hearts and honor him in their conducts

1. I am not your brother, abeg! And yes, Christianity is a religion that at last count, is made up of over 46,000 different denominations, which are essentially over 46,000 different images, all purporting to be that of YHWH of which none comes close to the facts described in the Israelite books that make up the Bible.

2. That's because your Christian gods of men have conveniently conditioned your minds to believing that images— idols — as described in those books of the Bible, only apply when a statue is involved.

3. There are no such things as real Christians saved by the blood of Jesus; those are merely some of the delusions held on to by the Christian hoard.