₦airaland Forum

Chidix123:
✓ they may start to cause problems when the man dies so it is better that the man will share everything and give everyone something before leaving the world. The constitution is very clear on that.

What do you mean that they may start to cause problems? The one who caused the problem was the man in this. The innocent child has a right or should to his own father' wealth, after all.

Chidix123:
✓ I never said that bro I only meant that men should put their house in order when they are alive. Give everyone their share when you are still alive so that there will be peace when the man leaves.

It just that your focus seemed a bit on ensuring the man's bastard child wouldn't get any share of his wealth.

Demigod22:
✓ O don't know who taught you History, from my knowledge of history, my ancestors do not abandon women like your ancestors, even when they were polygamous, they had successful marriage.

Story story...! 🥱🥱🥱

BrickDevo:
➜who told you they're happy, you are saying that from your own imagination. single mothers that are always bitter, angry and anti-men are happy? how? most of them are feminist. them full dating apps looking for who to marry them. fact is over 70% of men in Nigeria don't want to get married and deeply get engaged to a single mother, its a thug of war dating them.

No need to argue with your perception there. The fact is, divorce, whether it be official or pseudo, is the new reality that those who are married or thinking of getting married need to understand and accept. Marriage does not come with an automagic lifetime guarantee. Know this and know peace!

BrickDevo:
➜bro most of them got pregnant out of wedlock, very few are from divorce. for a medium income earner divorce is not an option.
➜ it happens a lot in rich families and celebrities.

What? In that same country, even in southern Nigeria, the rate of abandonment, pseudo divorce, is reported to be the same as divorce rates in the Northern states and many other places in the world.

Spousal abandonment happens a lot in rich/celebrity families? Are you certain you are subscribed to reality here?

Neverlookback:
➜Who or what made you this bitter? There's no doubt you have deep passions, but it's coming out in a destructive manner. Why not engage the services of an LMFT to help you channel these passions toward a productive outcome, like providing solutions to a problem rather than just criticisms.

I am afraid this hogwash of a response makes no sense to me!

Chidix123:
➜📢 "DEAR NIGERIAN MEN: You see that your child from side chick? He has the SAME inheritance rights as the ones from your legally married wife!"
Yes, you heard me right.
As long as you’re the father, Nigerian law does NOT discriminate.
Wife, baby mama, side chic, weekend mistake… the children are equal under the law.
Even if your wife does Thanksgiving every Sunday…
Even if you never paid bride price…
Even if the child lives in another state…
👉🏾 If there’s no will, ALL your children can show up and inherit when you die.
💀 You won’t be here to explain. But the courts will simply settle it for you by following 📜 Section 42 of the Nigerian Constitution which says:
No Nigerian child shall be denied any of their rights because of how or where they were born. Let that sink in.
😳 So before you start hiding children in other states...
😬 Before you say “Na only my wife’s pikin dey count”...
Ask yourself:
📉 Have I written a will?
📈 Do I want my children to drag themselves in court or beat themselves at the funeral?
💡 Solution? Write a will. Or be ready for "game of throne movie" after you die. 🎬⚰️

Are you suggesting that the man should exclude the side-chick's children from getting anything by writing a will? That is cruel!

AllBlack:
➜Do you really think you can just respond to any comment and get a purple heart from everyone? ➜Once again, you have been weighed, measured and found wanting.
➜1. Whole portion? Ever heard of tautology? Or you were just trying to be clever with words for cheap LIKE clicks?
2. Living single while in marriage? why don't you open a thread for that if you are so concerned about what happens AFTER THE MARRIAGE. You can also do a thread about women who die after marriage.
3. Breadwinners? So you are now a breadwinner statistician? 50% of women?
4. Why so many wrong spellings? is this another case of you rushing to send your comment without properly vetting and correcting?

Why am I suddenly not allowed to use tautology for Pete's sake? 🤣🤣🤣

2. Na craze be this?

3. When did Nairaland begin to enforce grammar rules on commenters, abeg? How much the company dey pay you for this, abeg! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BrickDevo:
➜and become a single mother?
➜girls don't want to have that type of history,
➜ so is unlikely to happen.

Look around you, there are 100s of thousands of single mothers out there living their lives and are happy too.

2. They don't, but their numbers continue to grow, with many of them the initiators of their very divorce? Are you sure you are tuned in to reality at all?

3. Unlikely to happen in a day and age where more and more women are openly embracing divorce as the best option for them? Again, are you certain you are fully tuned in to reality?

BrickDevo:
➜ see the nonsense you are talking, he should provides the funds she needs for her life goals and later he can marry her, nonsense, what if later she decides no to marry her? you are not wise i swear.

She could still up and leave/divorce him — maybe even abandon any kids she had to him too — after she has obtained all she wants from him. So?

alphonsojaybaz:
➜The story, shared by a witness online, reveals the shocking twist in a marriage that initially seemed full of hope and sacrifice. The man, whose identity remains undisclosed, reportedly spent a significant amount of money and effort to process his wife’s visa and relocation, only to later pull the plug on her stay in the UK.
According to the narrator, trouble began shortly after the woman settled in the UK and began changing her attitude, allegedly showing signs of disrespect and entitlement. The husband, fed up with her behavior, took legal steps to revoke her stay, resulting in her deportation back to Nigeria.

Na so deportation for UK dey work? The husband could revoke her stay even after legally confirming her a his spouse? How is what this @OP storyteller describes any different from the primitive act of throwing a woman back to her father's house?

In the UK, a spouse who is not a British citizen can potentially be deported, especially if their visa is based on the relationship and the relationship ends. However, deportation is a complex process with specific legal procedures and exceptions, particularly around human rights considerations.

Fantazy:
I’m planning to settle down (marry) when I’m 33 (by Gods Grace) and I am not going to marry a girl that is above 20. I.e she must be 20 or below and must be a virgin. Anybody can argue with his/her self. I don’t bloody give a damn!

Also, plan to keep your impending future regrets and woes to yourselves... make sure you don't come telling us sob stories about how a friend of yours get this problem or another wey you wan make we comment on.

olaJako:
➜May I or Others not mislead you to a point were you either don't sleep or wake up to think each day. Please, do your accessibility your self. Groom her for another year or two. Don't rush.

Groom her for marriage? Are you poeple not tired of deluding yourselves into believing there is a formula to having women? There is no formula to life, but somehow there is a formula when it comes to women? Are women not humans, like you, subjects of life itself?

AllBlack:
✓ if every man was hindered by all these considerations, 95% of married women would still be single.

But a whole portion of married women are living single even in marriage. In Nigeria alone, almost 50% of married women are breadwinners in their marriages. What does that tell you?

valentineuwakwe:
Marry her first before u send am to sch oo

This because you think an 18 year old woman of today would not know to abandon you and the child self if she is not happy with living with you? Una no dey learn at all be una major problem! 🥱🥱🥱

Auxtan:
➜There's a difference between grooming a woman for nothing and grooming your wife that will be actively responsible for bearing your children.

Are you for real? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Auxtan:
➜Thank you sooooooo much.

He is telling you to groom a woman in the year 2025, and you are thanking him? You are basically signing yourself up for a life full of regret if you take that advice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

KosiGee:
➜She’s an adult according to the law. Encourage and send her to school to further her education. By the time you are 41, she’ll be 30. This is not a Ned and Regina case here. The age gap isn’t bad

. Send her to school on his dime only for him to come back crying that she has gone off and married someone else, or what?

LordReed:
➜Since you are asking, I will tell you not to. An 18yr old doesn't know what she wants from life yet. Don't be surprised if you start to go with her, a few years down the road she tells you she is no longer interested and you start wondering why.

Oh, that definitely is going to happen, and OP will pretend it hit him like a bolt out of nowhere! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Auxtan:
➜Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.
Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?
PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

So, she has dreams of a better life than the one she currently has, and you are looking to sponsor those dreams for her if she were willing to date you? Why una dey like set una selves up for tears, for Pete's sake? Una no dey learn, na him be the thing! 😩😩😩

This is 2025, and there is information everywhere. An 18-year-old raised in Nigeria is only just starting her life. You better let her be... wait until maybe after she turns 30 before you pursue her. 🙄

emmanbol:
➜My dear, I read this and it is making good impact within me whether it was aided with chatgpt or not. It is a good writeup

. I am not surprised. Or do I need to be?

Flakky26:
Same way our kids deserve to be fed and sent to school , same way our parents deserve our money and gifts.

So, you don't see how parents and children can both be cared for without the parents having to turn their kids into their slaves or ATMs, abi? You can't even envision it ever being the case, is your particular problem here, right?

And the sad part of your religious delusions is that in none of the spiritual books you pretend to quote from is it written that the children had to stay back to care for their aged loved ones or be their parents' ATM. Still, nah, that is unacceptable revelation to you all, given that your particular delusions supersede even that presented in those books, right?

salesbloo:
My husband and I made a pact never to divorce, even when it felt impossible. 30 years later, I'm glad we stayed

Storyland! 🥱🥱

Were you a full-time housewife during all those 30 years with this husband of yours?

SKINDOGGY:
➜I'm no longer ok with it, I have stopped. The main culprit dy comot my house this new week,

He disrespected you all that while and you allowed it, why?

no20022:
➜I just took a job that I know I’ll hate so I can move forward. ATP I don’t care if I will like or hate it so I can move forward.

But that's also what most high school diploma holders do.

no20022:
➜What’s stopping me is that the fields that I picked doesn’t even care about degrees. Why are people refusing to accept the fact that jobs these days don’t care about degrees? I have two degrees and a cert and that still hasn’t helped.
➜People with high school diploma are surpassing me and they were smart to not go to college. Times have changed and nobody cares about your degrees just job experience.

1. If you are applying for jobs that require specific degrees, of which there are many, then you should hold the specified degree.

2. You have a high school diploma, too, so what is holding you back?

Flakky26:
✓ Aside religion. our parents deserve our gifts and money even if they are wicked. Its a command.
✓ And its sowing today what you want your kids to do more for you later in life.

1. Why do you believe your parents deserve these things?

2. You said aside religion, yet in the next breath you quoted what is obviously religious bullsheet, why?

Trymeee:
✓ Slaves? I will send a child to a primary school, secondary school, private uni, feed him, clothe him, spend 80percent of my money on him trying to make him into something while I deny myself alot of life pleasures. And you call that me seeing the child as a slave?
✓ I'm not even a father yet I'm a son to a mother who sold her car and paid alot of sacrifices to make that raw product into a finished good. It will be stupid of me not to cherish, take care and adore her when she's weak and I have the might to work. Let's face the fact, an average parents spend 80percent of their income on a ward, now imagine the gibberish of calling such retirement plan even economics call the reward of capital as profit.
3. The western culture y'all are trying to inculcate don't even take care of children like Africans. Not from hearsay, but from a personal view, most Canadians and Americans don't owe Thier kids shit. They end up leaving home and sourcing for job at a young age. I suppose Africans should inculcate that too.

1. Why have them at all if they would only result in you denying yourself those pleasures of yours? Why not forgo having the kids altogether so you can enjoy all of your pleasures unhindered? 😏😏

And I am being serious about this because the fact is not everyone is cut out to be a parent. We have so many more examples of bad parents than we have out there of good parents, and those children raised by bad parents only go on to ensure the trauma they experienced as children is poured out onto the next generation, many of them claiming they sacrifice for their kids as if someone forced them to have kids. Don't have kids if you have pleasures you would need to forego if having them and save the world the trauma of having to deal with more arseholes, abeg!

2. Not all parents "sacrifice" for their children. There are so many parents out there who don't"sacrifice" their pleasures, careers, etc., for their kids, yet give them everything they need to develop and thrive. You say your mother "sacrificed" for you, and my question is, why did she need to resort to that when she could have better planned her life? Her telling you or making you feel she sacrificed for you is simply making you feel guilty for her shortcomings as an adult and a caregiver, and that is unfair!

3. I grew up in Nigeria, raised by Nigerian parents, and they didn't "sacrifice" anything for me or my other siblings. And we don't live as slaves to our parents even to this day. And my memory goes as far back as the late 70s, Nigeria—my mother is 70 years of age this year. So, this African culture nonsense you lot like to hide your foolishness behind...e no work at all. 🥱🥱🥱

no20022:
✓ That's really not an excuse. I didn't have the best parents either but I never even thought of nor fantasized about ever laying hands on my future children nor verbally abusing them if I ever had them. How long are people going to keep blaming their past for their present behavior?

You think most people who end up like their parents fantasized it? Nah! They simply didn't do work to resolve the trauma from their past; by the time they realized it, they had already helped in propagating the trauma on to the next generation.

Trymeee:
➜You folks are selfish.
I believe it's also fair for parents not to also invest in their kids or send them to school etc. as the money they used in doing that can be used to invest in their own future.

So, you literally see your children as slaves then?

RaySimran:
✓ This culture of "Parent shouldn't hope on their kids as retirement plan" is alien to Africa. African culture was built on the coexistence of family living as a strong unit supporting each other.
✓ In the West, the government has a bogus balance to support senior citizens, we don't have that in Africa.
There are limited opportunities in the black mans world, many parents forgone their dreams, funnelling all their resources to give their wards a better life.
Taking care of your parents is not a curse, karma will smile at you when it's your turn.

It is alien yet many of the rich in the same Africa are known to leave legacies for their children and grandchildren?

2. And this reality has yet to result in the black man cutting his coat according to his size -- have less children or even forego entirely? I mean why so many excuses for why the black man should not be expected to use his head? 😄🥱🥱

Dbeautyy:
✓ it's a double sided knife ( Sword )
“Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— Eph 6:2
A good person leaves an inheritance to his grandchildren, And the wealth of a sinner is stored up for the righteous. Proverbs 13:22

There is nothing double sided about the content of the book; you are merely lacking in the comprehension department. Clearly, the book is clear that parents are regarded as wicked if they do not leave an inheritance for their children meaning that those of them who use their kids as a retirement plan, some going as far as I to claim they had to put their lives on hold for the sake of their kids, are evil.