₦airaland Forum

budaatum:
➜I think you are asking that people be hyper intelligent before entering marriage.
➜ Should stupid ignorant people not marry?
➜ What about dishonest people? After all, this man was likely not "prioritizing his career over family life and been bad-tempered and insulting" before they married.

It is not about being hyper-intelligent but being extra careful when picking a match in a relationship.

2. Those, you cannot do anything about.

3. There are those and that is why folks should be grateful for divorce in such cases.

budaatum:
➜It is your response that made the provision of sex sound mandatory that made me bring up marital rape.The fault determines the payout, and the woman being at fault means she gets paid less, which is what the appeal court overturned in this case. Is it your opinion that she deserves less or nothing because she denied himsex, even though he would have deprived her by "prioritizing his career over family life and been bad-tempered and insulting"? Should I let him fuq me because he is my husband, even though he is bad-tempered towards me and insulting?

These are some of the questions that couples need to resolve before marriage as many enter marriage pretending it is a sort of open contract when in fact it isn't meant to be any such.

1Sharon:
➜According to experts, when they graduate to choking, they can kill you

We have seen this happen countless times but Nigerians will always default back to the fables they were fed as kids of how violent marriage situations in their communities were magically resolved after the intervention of their in-laws, pastors or elders. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Helpout12345:
➜Because the violence is being hidden by the woman calls for more digging.
➜ Also, there have been marriages that have witnessed violence at one time or the other in their journey because of ignorance of either or both parties. And with proper education and counseling, they stopped the violence and were able to stay married.
➜Also, no two marriages are 100pct replica, so are their problems. It is usually a case by case. In marriages issues, actions that lead to divorce must be reserved for the last.

1. Requires more digging because? 😏

2. You mean the tales by moonlight stories you have been fed in your past of how toxic marriages can be changed? Are you for real? Have you ever, monitored any such marriage to be certain that the toxicity in the relationship disappeared after mediation?

3. No two marriages are replicas yet human behavior has been revealed to follow consistent patterns even when it comes to marriage. For example, a man who was an abuser before marriage is almost guaranteed to remain one even after marriage no matter who he is married to, or how many times he marries.

advanceDNA:
➜So who should be blamed for refusing to have sex with her husband..?? The state?? Her husband??
➜Over wokeness is just worrying feminists... Best thing is y'all should remain single.. not that u will get married and start looking for woke laws reinforce ur inability to be a good companion and friend to your partner

1. No one should be blamed! If a man does not want to have sex, it's OK. And if a woman does not want to have sex, it is equally OK. If one partner decides to leave in order to seek sex with another partner, that is also OK.

2. Yawn! 🥱🥱🥱🥱

budaatum:
➜What you think?

The right to bodily autonomy — the right to one's body without fear of violence or discrimination — is not given up in marriage. I do agree that a woman or man should not be blamed for refusing his/her partner's sex even in marriage. Of course, this also means that a man or woman has every right to get a divorce if he/she is not comfortable with being denied sex.

Helpout12345:
Domestic violence should not be tolerated at all. But I think you are running over emotion now. Do the following
1. Separate your sister from the house for now.
2. Look for people that can talk to your sister to open up her side of the story
3. Call the husband and hear his side of the story. Be calm while doing this. Don't let emotions overrun you.
4. Find out who is the person starting the violence at home. It could be either party.
5. If they can't settle their issues without violence, they should stay separated.
6. If both are willing to stop violence, you can work on settling their matter.

OP already has evidence that they cannot resolve the problem WITHOUT VIOLENCE. So, why in the world are you still suggesting he try to mediate? Those two do not belong together and should be kept separate at all costs in order to avoid the unthinkable — well murder.

Karleb:
It's either you send police to arrest that man or you start saving for your sister's burial.

Another Osinachi loading...

galserv:
➜Vintage son of perdition! Romans 1:22 22 Professing themselves to be wise(Kobojunkie and co), they became fools,

Did you know that the fools referenced in that passage you quoted are those who followed religious leaders— the Pharisees and Sadducees who were equally political in their reasoning — and were deceived by them? Kind of like you! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ezugegere:
➜Madam, you are too toxic and I don't like responding to you. Could you just keep off my mention pls!

My urging you to honestly reason your statement is to blame for the toxicity described by OP as the reality of his sister's marriage, abi? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ezugegere:
➜Warning him could change a lot of things.

How? How many cases of such have you yourself encountered in your own life? Do you suddenly change a bad habit after a talking to? Most children don't change after merely getting a talking to' a caretaker typically has to continue working with the kids regularly for an extended period before that can become the case. So tell me how you expect an adult to change immediately after being talked to in this case.

ezugegere:
➜Have you called the man in question to hear from him and to warn him seriously?
That would be my first step if I were you?

Does warning him to change the fact that the relationship has long become toxic and is almost guaranteed to escalate?

OP said he even got a video of the man assaulting his naked sister, this after the first report that the same man was seen choking her. Does talking to the man change this fact or would it lead to this man changing after what may be many years of this assault?

LoneSoldier:
➜If marriage was a thing of blessing, the two couples would be happy with each other.... But is unfortunate that 90% of married men wished they never got engaged in marriage with there wives in the first place because of how miserable and tormenting it is....

What she is trying to tell you is that the same applies as far as women in marriage. Many women get married not because it is indeed a desire of theirs but because they have been raised to believe that their life is near nothing without that Mrs badge that comes with being married or at least attached to a man.

Reports from the government indicate that the rate of marriage abandonment is nearly the same for both genders.

Sirchiboy:
Abeg I want to know if someone do like 5 rounds?

Sex DOES NOT kill! Rather, living an unhealthy lifestyle is what kills.

gnykelly:
➜I have been trying to start a meaningful relationship for quite a while. kept bumping into these recurring case of single mom. I don't want to go down the aisle with extra content by the side. though they may have good character but. it still doesn't cut it for me. what could have gone wrong as a society to produce a huge batch of single mom with so many irresponsible fathers.

Well, blame the irresponsible fathers who would rather drop their seed and run away from the commitment that ought to follow. 😏

mmadu4:
The rate at which young girls give birth nowadays is alarming . Some of them. Don't even know who the father of the baby is . The one that pains me more , a small girl in my area. I saw her yesterday and she is heavily pregnant. This is terrible
I blame the up bringing of these girls on their parents . Shame

What about the upbringing of the men who impregnate such gals? Or do you not realize that the fact that there are many baby mamas equally means that there are many baby fathers out there who abandoned their responsibilities? 😑😑😑😑

VeeVeeMyLuv:
➜Nigeria right now is a sick and disgusting country. No thanks to the regime change in 2015 to present. An increasingly, overwhelmingly majority of people believe in this barbaric, horrific, inhumane practice. Some have adapted it from their culture and traditions and now want to forcefully adopt it on a national scale
➜Once again righteousness exalt a nation But sin is a reproach to the people . What do you expect when leaders lack integrity and credibility and are of questionable characters? This is why everybody in that barbing saloon did not see anything wrong in what the man did, unconsciously their values have been destroyed.

The problem highlighted by the OP did not begin back in 2015 though. It has been around since even the 70s when I was a youngin growing up in that country. The wickedness, barbarism, and inhumane practices of today have been around for many many decades. It can be argued that it is in the blood of the people. 😑😑😑😑

2. Stop spewing meaningless religious gobbledegook abeg! What righteousness exalts nations such as Sweden, Denmark, and the rest where such disdain for human life is nearly nowhere to be found? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

CallTheCops:
➜So I was at the barbershop to cut my hair, and a discussion arose about the timileyin guy who murdered and behead an innocent girl..
I couldn't believe what I was hearing from the men there, I was shocked!!
One man said "i no go too blame the guy, country hard"
Another said "You know wetin the girl do am wey make am kill her?, we no know so make we no judge".
And the most shocking was when another man said " the guy sef no get sense, how you go carry person head wey blood still dey drip put am for one paper bag, na him loose guard himself, if na experienced person, he for tie the head inside like 4 paper bags, e no get how anybody for suspect anything. People dey run am na, no be today".

These were mature men o, not young boys. I was so surprised and sad. Most Nigerians lack empathy and conscience. It's why corruption, fraud and blood rituals are in prevalence all over the country.

You for also take time to confirm say all of them na religious folks too — in the mosque bowing on Friday or shouting halleluiah up-and-dan on Sunday.😑😑😑😑😑

FreedomfromtheT:
➜I don't know what you are talking about. Pastor Kumuyi is not a politician but a man hungry to preach the saving gospel to sinners in every land in accordance with the Great Commission. Pastor Kumuyi was invited by the soon to be inaugurated president who at this time happens to be Donald Trump who coincidentally is also unapologetically leaning towards biblical principles as president of the United States (though he may have character personal flaws).
➜The need for the raw gospel to be preached in the US of A is long overdue due to the leftist and liberal influenced woke permissiveness negatively affecting the people and also the seeming lukewarmness of the western Church.
It is an opportunity to reach out to people in both divides of the divide irrespective of party idealogy since Christ died for all.
May pastor Kumuyi succeed in Jesus' name, Amen.

🙄🙄🙄 Like I said, remote-controlled zombies whose whim and whims are all programmed according to the promulgation of your scammers-in-the-lords.

2. Need for raw gospel in the same America that brought this same gospel to places like Nigeria during the time of your ancestors? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The way you all make these claims without even flinching is what gets me every single time. A person from a backward nation whose religion has shown he contributes nothing but destruction to his own people convinces himself that he brings this same useless religion to those who have shown it of little or no worth to them.

AlphaNugget:
➜Your take is trash. Go and ask the government if we are in 2021 and if they went to every citizens home to come to that conclusion.
➜Don't say this in the public, you might be lynched 😐

Oh, I see! The decision to declare marriage abandonment a criminal offense only resulted from temporary 2021-only reports and not from general reports over the years, right? With citizenry who reason the way you do in the majority, any wonder why Nigeria is a shithole today? 🙄🙄🙄

2. Lynched by eejits who reason just as you do, you mean?🙄🙄🙄

galserv:
I am a born again christian and I am proud of them

You are nothing but a remote-controlled zombie, your will programmed and controlled by the whims of your scammers-in-the-lords. What Kumuyi did was merely throw his hat in with Trump ensuring that all of his zombie followers in the U.S. will vote according to the whims of the Republican party —no matter how stewpid their ideas— all so Kumuyi can pretend the will of his god that did not do anything but pillage Nigeria is working through him in America. This is all politics for your GO who are businessmen no different from Elon Musk, but you are too blind to see it.

Free2Fly:
➜Stop spewing out rubbish. Igbos and those from the south-south don't do any naming ceremony.
I'm sure the northerners too don't do it. That's purely a yoruba culture, and not Nigeria's, you misguided non-male, non-female aka non-binary creature.

Ignorance is not bliss! You have google at your disposal... use it abeg!

Mumben:
Marriages of nowadays, just recently a man burnt his wife at abagana. Pls do everything in your power to save your sister abeg. Her life matters. I don't think I can endure that kind of abuse oh, I for don pack my children run go my papa house.

OP claims his sister married the monster as a virgin. She is probably under the delusion that the fact that the man was her first bedmate, somehow love will magically save her and turn the man into a good prince. Awon Osinachi gang .... I married my husband as a virgin therefore he must be good to me no matter how much panel beating I am made to endure in the process. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No one can recreate the level of deluded nonsense that people like that spew abeg! 😂😂😂😂😂

AlphaNugget:
➜By what metric?
➜All what you wrote up there are because of your childhood experience and shouldn't be tagged as a general occurrence round the country/world.

That you can easily deduce from the report released by your own government back in, I believe 2021, revealing that the marriage abandonment rate had grown to almost 50% leading it to then criminalize the act. Do you think those who are happy and not lonely or depressed in marriage would up and abandon their marriages?

2. Childhood experiences? I don't follow at all. Are we all—those who choose to worship suffering in marriage and those who abhor it included—not products of our many childhood experiences at the end of the day? I don't understand what you mean at all when you insist this should not be tagged a general occurrence around the country/world.

LoneSoldier:
➜And the worst thing is that this men, can't speak up to enlighten the younger ones about what marriage negatively truly entails.... It's a pity for the younger men out there who thinks marriage is a joy ride...

The average Nigerian man, living in suffering, would rather lie to entrap his fellow men, including his juniors, than reveal the truth to them. This is something we have each experienced over and over again. The culture of the people does not encourage honesty to oneself and to others.

AlphaNugget:
➜Well, from the topic I will say that bachelor life is good when you are building yourself but later in life you will want companionship and I hope you know that loneliness leads to depression. Staying single at old age is scary, especially when you have nobody to call on to......I surely won't want to live such life. Well, I didn't read your epistle, but peace on your choice and decision ✌️

Over half of those in marriage are depressed and lonely! This is a fact! 😏

What's worse is many of the married eventually abandon, not just family but their kids as well. On an average day on the streets of Nigeria, ever wonder where all the kids you meet come from? Millions of them are children abandoned with living relatives, some of them including their fathers and their mothers, and this is both in the Northern and Southern regions of the country. 😏

LoneSoldier:
➜Dear Esteemed men, please share your experience of how you became a bachelor, and also share the benefits and challenges that comes with it...
I will start with mine, years ago when I was little I thought marriage was a thing of blessing and doesn't require a man to suffer, but little did I know that marriage is a bondage so fast forward to when I was a teenager (Am a grown ass man now, that was then!) I started seeing things more clearly, let's take Nigeria for instance.... 90% of married men across Nigeria as a whole are suffering and smiling, why because marriage wasn't what they thought it was, some where even forced to marry by family members, some just wanted to try marriage out thinking is a thing of joy ride not knowing it is an everlasting torture.....
A country where everything is left for the man to do, and to worsen it more, economy is not smiling and men are dropping dead everyday due to high BP of so many budgets in a man's mind, a wife you think is a blessing is just a load of suffering, a liability that leaves the man to cater for everything, even though she also brings little by little it doesn't change the fact that she is a burden of suffering on the man's shoulders....
Well let me conclude here, there are more to write but let me conclude with the benefits and challenges I faced as a bachelor.....
BENEFITS AS A BACHELOR:
I always have time for myself, I do whatever I want whenever I want to do it.... No liability as a wife to dictate how my life should go, I eat whatever I want to eat, no kidding am a good cook... So I don't need a woman for that, when am Hot.... I masturbate myself to stupor, I have a decent job (Remotely) so I have time for myself indoors, the only time I go out, is when I want to get food items......
CHALLENGES AS A BACHELOR:
Not so much tho, but it came to some point I got pressured by my stupid family (father and mother excluded) to get a wife, I boldly told them NO!
Planning on disowning them very soon, but that is a topic for another day...!
So esteemed men, this is my experience.... Share yours!

Contrary to everything you have probably ever been fed since you were a child and maybe even by your mother and father, almost 50% of the population in almost every generation never get married, and a good number of those also never have children. The everybody-must-marry delusions mostly pedaled by the traditional and religious nutjobs are just that, delusions. Sadly, many people continue to fall for it — even some who end up never finding a marriage partner—while only a very few can happily avoid it and live their lives without guilt.

Expanse2020:
➜Conscience doesn't allow them to sleep since their forefathers slaves your forefathers....
In Islam you don't need to adopt rather you can sponsors them without anyone even know you do it... You will adopt them and change there father to your own name and turn them to your own son when they still have their own father..

Are you referring, for instance, to the millions of almajiris up north supposedly "sponsored" only during elections and riots by your muslim clerics and "faithful" but left on the streets in between?

delzbaba:
➜some men are brutal in there expression of love and anger,
➜why would you batter someone you love like this? ➜ when you went for the introduction and traditional wedding, what were the warnings you were given? after marrying her now you have turned her into a punching bag

What aspect of her statement coupled with the bruises on her body do you construe as this expression of love though?

2. Do you meaningfully believe it is possible to love and at the same time not think much of pummeling that same one like fufu?

3. Let's be honest, the warning signs were likely there for both of them but one would expect the victim to be first to run away for dear life, sadly, even in the age of information, people continue to allow themselves to be deluded by feelings born majorly from chemicals flushing around in their brains.

Telltruth123:
➜Call the husband, ask him what is the reason why both of them are fighting everytime to the point where people are calling you and telling you that your sister life is in serious danger, Initially, your ignore but the calls are now much to the point that people are saying if your sister died that the blood will be on the family because you did not take action.
Then if his response shows regret you try and settle the matter but let him know that if anything happen to her, the law will take is course, he should not go violent with her again.

Nigerians are wicked abeg! Reading through many of these posts you can't help but realize how Osinachi eventually ended up food for worms and her kids orphaned! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

MONEY247:
➜[b]Don't blame serialists and psychotic people when they misbehav[/b]e.... some times life happened to them and and they take on new characters forms and habits that become psychologically irreparable and damaging to society and their self...
1) Loss It could be loss of anything
2) Association Mingling with the wrong people.
3) Environment Tough and criminality thriving environments can alter people identity
4) circumstances Situations they find out themselves at a particular present time...
5) Experience What some have gone through in life can alter their beliefs and behavior...
➜ If you feel you and deviating from societal values and Start cravings for things unusual Like Suicide, to rape the opposite gender, to kill someone, to revenge, or just anything that makes society not safe...Please relate to your pastor or spiritual leader and also seek God's mercy.....
➜It's well with us in Jesus name

1. No be the same life dey happen to everybody else out there? Why should they not to be held responsible for their decisions the same way the rest of us are by the law and loved ones?

2. Nonsense! You religious nutjobs are utterly ridiculous in the way you reason things. So, if a psychopath killed your mother or father in response to any of the listed, you would equally suggest we not blame him and instead get him a pastor or spiritual leader or whatever other juju you have wrapped around that tiny mind of yours?

3. Which Jesus name? I hope you don't mean the Israelite Jesus Christ who definitively stated He came only for His fellow Israelites—lost sheep— and not for foreigners aka dogs?

tfrancis:
Psalms 5:8 says Lead me, O LORD, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face.

Tell that to the over a billion of generationally impoverished Christians worldwide whose situations could have turned out a lot better had they not fallen in the hands of your scammers-in-the-lords.