₦airaland Forum

Riscawendy:
The situation at hand is not easy for both, the man and the woman. For the woman, it is usually frustrating being the bread winner of the family so l can relate with that. For the man loosing your job 2 years no be beans. The anger, the frustration, depression etc will always set in. I feel he is trying to use the drinking and smoking to forget his sorrow but my advice to him is that it will never erase the situation.
Going forward l feel he should use the money he is using to drink and smoke to learn a skill online, who knows something may kick off from there.

What was he attempting to use the destructive violence for?

superemmy:
■ You mean you don’t know Nigerian Police is all about who pays better and not who is really on the side of justice? Stop the cap

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kai.... Nigerians and denial ehn!

occfx:
■ Yes accommodation is the biggest problem here not feeding.

I am sorry, what? OP is struggling to feed herself as is. So how did you arrive at accommodation being the bigger of the two problems?

By the way, what I asked if how you expect OP in her current situation to magically accomplish any of what you wish to have her and the kids do.

mukthar2000:
OP Even anybody want to help those kids instead of taking them to orphanage home, ur story hasn't clear and complicated .your story might scare helpers away.

I am just curious, what help do you think people have suggested?

BItt:
No I am not

Your words already betray you there.

superemmy:
■ Were you there to know whether he beat her. Women are always fond of exaggerating their own stories

You mean the police who arrested and charged him did so without evidence?

occfx:
■ Most people don't just like responsibilities... Thats why you hear them sometimes say they are searching for a working class woman, a host they will feed on. He is looking at them now like liabilities but if was landed property now, he won't think of handing it over to the government @ 8 and 5yrs boys are grown ups already. Set up small kiosk in front your house and engage them. They may get favors and return to school

Intersting. OP is about to lose her apartment and complains she is having a hard time feeding herself as it is. Yet you expect her to magically come up with seed money to set up a small kiosk in front of the apartment to have these kids fend for themselves? Are the kids also going to feed OP and pay her rent from all that magic money you envision they will get from this kiosk?

online4business:
■ No be me be God oluwanishola.
■ Many people have succeed despite living in orphanage while others never get over it.Many people come from the street and are still successful. If you want success you will succeed but if you want excuses you'll have a million of excuse.But here's what you should know. You can't make excuses and make money. Any man or woman getting the bag has zero excuses. If someone wants control of their lives they have to accept responsibility. My life equationControl=Responsibility

Leave God and His mention out of these things as God is not the reason why he was born— his parents were—, and God is not the reason why his parents did not make plans to ensure he would not end up in an orphanage — his parents are also to blame for that.

2. Success is not as easy as you think or imagine. Also, we each have our individual ideas of what success should mean. Your friend obviously didn't feel successful since he was never able to overcome the trauma of his childhood, according to you. It is true that Nigeria hasn't even begun as far as a social welfare system to help cater to the many children out there — there are millions of homeless children in Nigeria roaming the streets every day and night.

Rushna27:
■ No one wished them such life but no vex ooo where would she be when she becomes homeless?? ■ Different people with different mentality....... I only wished her to hustle for a better job
■ she never can tell which child has the luck attached to destiny.......

She would probably be roaming the streets day and night, looking for a place to sit, where to find food, where to sleep safely. She might end up walking many hours to find a place safe enough to lay her head down at the end of each day, a place far from the many predators out there. Is that really what you want those kids to have to experience as well?

2. Wish her to hustle for a better job how? She is about to be homeless. Are you going to give her a better job now, or do you think better jobs show up magically all of the time to save the day or something? She is about to lose her apartment because that better job has yet to show up, yet you are here telling her not to put the kids in an orphanage, at least until that better job finally shows up. Why?

3. A child has luck attached? Are you being serious now? Luck didn't keep the child's father from abandoning it, and it certainly couldn't keep the mother from dying but you think luck will magically manifest a job for the woman who is about to lose her apartment and so she should not do the reasonable thing but wait for this magic to take place?

online4business:
■ But you and I know some kids feel unloved living in orphanage homes. I had a friend way back Adesina (R.I.P) could never get over it contribute to his early demise. Like Darwin the jungle is not for the weak sha.

Would your friend have been better off if he had been abandoned on the streets somewhere and left to fend for himself instead? An Orphanage is not the ultimate solution for a child but it is better than that child having to roam the streets alone, yes or no?

Rushna27:
As nice as your intentions are towards those kids but sorry to say if they were yours biologically, will you do sameif you will then let your conscience take the proposed action!!!But I'm sure you won't cos a mother is willing to do any type of menial jobs so as to cater for her child.....Pls do unto them as you would for your biological child,not easy though but we all pay sacrifices for what we love...... Shalom!!

Why do you people refuse to reason? She is about to be homeless herself. She has not been gainfully employed for a while.
● Are you saying she should have the kids homeless and out of school?
● Would you have the kids walking the streets with no place to go and knowing not where their next meal will come from?

Is that the kind of life you think the kids deserve or something?

mayorphilz:
No if possible get a couple looking for children and give to and involve police or human rights to be involved in the documentation, I can help you with that

Nigerians looking for children of their own are some of the most wicked in my opinion. That they refused to adopt before now means they are not open to accepting other people's kids as their own.

How exactly do you intend to help with this documentation?

enemyofprogress:
Op stop lying. The two children are yours, you're their biology mother

So, what?

Nice2023:
They are smart but don't take advice.

Smart yet they are known to breed like rats?

BItt:
the hate starts and ends online

This one is completely disconnected from the reality of things, it seems.

Verokeena, calling the cops on your attacker was by the way one of the bravest things any Nigerian woman has ever done for her own good, and I applaud you. I hope more and more women will wake up to the fact that there is absolutely no reason for violence or trauma in marriage. Calling the cops may just have saved you and your children from becoming a statistic on that day. Even if it is the end of your marriage, please go around and inform other women of how you helped save your own life and possibly the future of your kids by that one call you made. Become an influencer even. Women need to pick their lives and mental wellbeing over marriage any day or night.

TrainPark:
Where do you live?
I might be able to help you with the kids?... would you let them be adopted?

Adopted ke? She is looking for a place to have them stay temporarily and the best place is a legally run orphanage.

BronzeTiger:
■ Well I don't believe it one bit based on the past activities I've seen on that account just like several formulated nairaland fables in the past, if the OP can drop key details in some investigating and confirming how true this story is I'll apologize openly to the account and help in whatsoever little way I can, But of course I know it won't most likely happen cause this is 95% a ruse.

You don't understand what I am asking at all. Why do you wish to investigate the OP'S story? What do you think you will gain by doing so?

BronzeTiger:
Unlike you who have been swayed by emotional coercion Ive actually seen that OP om different threads begging before editing his posts. That's a begging account so I'm not surprised he formulated this cock and bull story to play on your emotions
Are you ready to go the extra mile to physically investigate and confirm if OP is telling the truth? Will you? .

To what end? All OP asked for is an opinion on direction she is looking to take. Why do you need to investigate and confirm anything when all you need do is respond?

Nerdnextdoor:
Explore all possible avenues for locating the children's father or any of his relatives or friends before concluding on taking the kids to an orphanage.

And what if Op becomes homeless before locating the father's?

RosyIsBlessed:
■ I think you lack understanding, it's not my fault. Look for interpreter to explain my last comment to you. Don't quote me again

Abeg carry this nonsense mentality Waka pass me!

AntiTerrorist:
■ Yes
What do you mean by bondage? Do you mean being submissive one's husband means living in bondage?
■ Most rich women have attitudinal problems that are not suited for marriage. They are mostly divorcees.

1. The following is your own post.

AntiTerrorist:
1. Would you like it if your wife is the head of your family and you being submissive to the woman you paid for her bride price?

You are more than aware that the bride price you paid is a form of bondage your wife is bound to. So why the silly pretense given that you don't think yourself capable of living under same terms.

2. Assumptions don't facts make.

RosyIsBlessed:
■ None is better. Look for a job and care for those kids like you would have wished your sister did for you.

Now you are not making any sense. Who told you OP hasn't been looking for a job all this while? Do jobs always magically come by to save the day or something? Why the irrational leaps and conclusions?

RosyIsBlessed:
■ And how are you sure of their safety after been sent to orphanage and given out for adoption?

You are not sure of their safety but you can visit the orphanage often to keep tabs on them, make sure they are attending school, eating and doing their homework. You can even sue the business if worse comes to worse. Something you cannot do if you abandoned the children out on the streets.

komzy589:
Unfortunately, no sane person will ever do that to their own kids.

That is actually what sane individuals do when they find themselves in situations such as OPs.

RosyIsBlessed:
■ Ask yourself what if it was the other way round will you be happy your children are taken to orphanage by your sister?

Would you be happier if the kids were to become homeless and have to roam the streets day and night in search of food and a place to sleep? Would you rather they slept in the open and as prey to all sorts of predators out there?

Wodu89:
■At that be the portion of our kids when life hits you

Huh? What do you mean by portion?

Wodu89:
■ And when things are hard and you can't feed your own kids what do you do. Tell us

It is better to take them to an orphanage than to abandon them on the streets somewhere.

AntiTerrorist:
1. Would you like it if your wife is the head of your family and you being submissive to the woman you paid for her bride price?

2. Your level of understanding though
Did that means women who have money don't get married?

1. So, by virtue of paying that bride price, you take it to mean you outright own the "head of family" title over her, even if she makes much more money than you do? She can never attempt to buy her freedom from that bondage, is it? I hope you also won't complain in the case that she decides to keep all her money to herself too in the marriage.

2. I asked that question because some other suggested that rich women have attitude problems that are not suited for marriage. Next time, try to read up the follow up to the question before you jump in to respond.

Starships4u:
■ What started in the kitchen?
What did yhu do?

Are you of the mind that her attacker's destruction of property and violent attack of her person was somehow warranted?

kennie2015:
I can recommend a very good, godly and awesome home for you. I can BOLDLY say, they will turn out well in life, if you can take the advice, I have lot of personal testimonies not hearsay.

OP, these are the ones to fear the most.

peretei2024:
■ Hello my fellow Nairalanders,

The frustration about life is getting too much , how can I be married with 2 kids and a wife Andi will be without even 1 Kobo on me.
I have practically lost everything that give me joy. Iost my job since April 2023, then I decided to use my car to do Uber things, now the car has broken and I don't have 1kobo on me to fix it up. How can I be looking at the faces of my beautiful children and I can't even feed them?
I woke up since around 2am, I couldn't sleep, and something tells me to take my life because the shame and frustration is getting too much as I didn't get any help from any of my friends and relatives.
If you care to give me any advice before the incident happens I can be reached on 08062493145 because am too done about this world.

Where are your father and mother in this? Have you informed them of your plan as well? They came together and thought it a good idea to bring you into this world so I see no reason why you wouldn't let then know of the pain and hurts you experience as a result.

Please stop trying to harass strangers on the internet who don't know you from a can of paint. Call up your family to let them know what you are dealing with, going through and plan to do.

Now, you say you have a wife and two kids. Note that no one forced you into marriage nor to have kids you cannot seem to fend for. So no one owes you as far as these burdens you creator for yourself. Saying you will kill yourself, abandoning them is tantamount to announcing you are a pathetic man and father ---- a lowlife. You and your wife better begin thinking of ways to get your sheet together, each get jobs so you can take care of the kids you both brought into this world by your own enjoyment. Again, these attempts to blackmail strangers go no where.