₦airaland Forum

I think we are saying the same thing. . .or maybe I am going crazy 

The women who come here and change were never really good from the get go. That is why I dont encourage going home to look for a wife.

Most of the women brought from home never really loved the guys . . they just saw some flash and wanted to leave Nigeria.

got milk? 

LOL

we call them cement blocks in Nigeria.

Na, those churches you refer to never had money - I dont steal from the poor

Na church money

Now you need to calm down.

btw, I got those shoes.

Mrs.Chima:
Do you like light skinned, mixed, and white women?

I dont mind them.

I am married to the one I chose.


point is . . you know I dont want you bashing us men. it aint cute

MzD@rkSkin:


[color=teal]@ Kokoye, the socalled "African values" are appreciated the world over however ever we can agree that it is now rarely practiced. I mean American men for Christ sakes complain about not getting enough "TLC" from their women/wives. Men in general like to be pampered and submitted to. I dont see a difference btn the wants and needs of men from any background however sometimes you all want more than you are willing to put forth. Having your woman have children for, cook for, make love to, answer to and nurture you  is one thing if you can provide for her but providing for her, bossing her around and expecting her to be super woman is another. Some African men feel because they have "purchased" (so tp speak) their woman from her family that she is their property. I am not a fan of the "it's the new age so women should not have to cook, clean; etc" attitudes most American/western women have but at the same time there should be equality in any relationship. [/color]

OK. so how is what you said any different from the point I have been trying to make all along?

My point is I dont encourage people going home to bring wives because a lot of people at home supress their moral fibre (according to Mrs Chima) because of what they are trying to achieve. Nigeria has taught them how to do that.

The system in the west brings out the real you. I advice getting your bride from that kinda system.

simple enough I hope.


Mrs Chima,

Yes, there may be African values - but I never said it was perfect - it has its goodies and loadsa bad sides like everything else.

I will take the good and drop the bad.

Mrs Chima,

Mind you, Value is a relative word.

All what you have said it the ideal situation - what I have stated is the reality when talking about Nigerians. And you truly and honestly may not understand what i am talking about because you have not lived in Nigeria.
In these days, poverty has affected a lot of reasonings. A lot of people have made moves just to avoid abject poverty, including marrying the worng person.

And you will never know a person's true color until they have what they want - wealth and independence in the case of a poor or female Nigerian.

Here in the states, most people do what they want to do- that is the sytem they were born into and that is how they were raised.

But in Nigeria, true actions are supressed due to culture, religion, tradition, age, gender or social status. Again this may make no sense to you.

I do not know about Mexicans - I am only telling you what I know.

I have lived in both worlds so I may have a better understand of the real issue at hand. And I mean no disrepect.

OK. So you agree that i am a black man and that I love me some flesh.

So why the comment below:

Mrs.Chima:
Well, Ms. Potato darling. I hate to tell you it is the truth that BLACK MEN no matter where loves light skinned, mixed, and white women. It is their preference and it could be coined Indirect Racism.

MzD@rkSkin:
[color=TEAL]Well. . ."When in Rome do what, __________."
HEY!  [/color]

and I'm not blaming anyone.

Just stating my reasons for not encouraging going home to find a bride.

There are beautiful woman out here too.

. .and I aint saying it is wrong to marry a Nigerian.

If you are . .it is advisable to marry one that is already part of the western system so you know wat you are getting.

I am married to a beautiful Nigerian that I met here and she has all the values I want . . jsut the way I want them.

The man who goes home to marry does it because

- He is used to and wants a submissive woman.

- He is used to the woman cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children.

- He works hard and struggles to bring the woman and send her to nursing school so that she can quickly be on her feet and be able to help and support him while still being the nice and submissive wife.

He uses almost all his life savings to pay bride price - do wedding, take care of the woman's family and bring her here . . including sending her younger ones to school
______________________

Now the woman gets to the west and realises her husband is not all that: he works too much and his social class is not something she can be proud off.

The guy sends her to nursing school, she starts meeting other westernized woman and admiring their independent way of life.

She becomes a nurse and starts working overtime. The husband starts getting pissed cos there's no food waiting for him at home and his wife is not always at home. It is like his investment is now working against him.

The wife starts having friends and realises she cant do better than the man she has - she does not need his money and even makes more than he does  . .with overtime. She starts taking him for granted.  Remember there was no real love btw them anyway - she married him to come to the west.

- The laws of the west favor the woman. So of course, the wife will capitalize on it.

- The man starts going crazy. He cant believe wat is happening to him. The reason he brought the wife was so he could have a helper and submissive wife. But nooo . . . his wife is tellign him she makes more money and is more powerful than him.

_________________________

Hope this makes sense,  I'm not saying this is always the case but very likely.

it is not about money . . I will explain it:

^^^

They are not bad. But the western system is different - ladies will react to it and most men (especially those who go home to marry them) may not be able to handle it.

The guys who go home to bring ladies do it cos they want someone with African values - the ladies get here and those values fly outta the window.

Hope I make sense MzD@rkSkin

The main issue is that you will never be satisifed.

. .abi, what's wrong with having EVERYTHING 

I DO NOT encourage it.

. . . and yes, a lot of the ladies do change.

There's a friend who's hell bent on doing the samething - the main problem is that he stared dating the lady AFTER he got here - how the heck are they going to truly know each other??  I have tried to change his mind but he believes that is the best girl for him - he's been at home since he came and has not even taken anytime to mingle and compare other ladies.

The funny thing is that people are telling her not to generalize and yet she goes on and on . .

how would you feel if I asked you if everyone in your tribe or country stinks . . .just because I met only one that does?

It is OK for you to ask questions . .but please accept corrections in the process.

^^^

You like her and want her but you dont trust her. She also may not be the type that wants her business out there.

Advice: It is OK to ask her and talk about it but you obviously cannot handle a long distance relationship.

Drop it.

Maybe she just doesnt want to utter the word 'Yes'

Assume y'all dating and roll on. . . but be prepared in case she tells everyone 'he's just a friend'

Mrs.Chima:
Men are such arseholes and it always about THEM.

I'm glad you are married to one forever

sorrytoo:
I'm angry about the fact,that he keeps telling me about it,like expecting me to offer, dont get me wrong,i do cook for him, but i dont want to hear u r hungry all the time

i will to get a guy that enjoys cooking or that likes to eat out, ,if u can please point me in the direction of where to find them, hmmm

I wish I could, but I cant, so I wont 

just kidding sweetie. Talk this over with your man and enjoy each other.

^^^

does pity have a new and cute spelling now

Mrs.Chima:
Why I am not surprised at Koyoke's comments.

Well, Ms. Potato darling. I hate to tell you it is the truth that BLACK MEN no matter where loves light skinned, mixed, and white women. It is their preference and it could be coined Indirect Racism. However, I do not care because these men often time complains years later that they have married the wrong women.

So let them suffer, it shouldn't bother us none. I find it very sickening to see BLACK WOMEN go the route to LOOK LIKE WHITE WOMEN. To me white women DO NOT LIKE ANY DIFFERENT than other race of women EXCEPT THEY ARE WOLF LOOKING WITH PALE SKIN. Then again that just me and I am patenting a mental disorder for BLACK WOMEN who are WHITEWASHED.

so, what's your point with my comments . . am I not a black man as well

what do you think?

. . . .and how do you like dem names??

Oh, you opened them both up and someone is gonna have to marry one of them now.

so, does it make that girl you dumped a bad girl simply because her man will not meet her a virgin?

Anyway, that's by the way. I'm sure I responded to ur main reason for the thread in my earlier post.

Dont marry out of pity . .do what will make you happy.

Good luck

^^^^

whatever chima chineeedu ochibuzor.

Go cook for yo man as long as he feeds you well

Maybe the poster needs to change her the title and then maybe I will modify my post

Well, not according to Kardashian's twitter or facebook profile - those girls have trillions of fans.

My point is a lot of people do silly stuff to make money . . .and others want to follow suit of course. The media worship and feed on them too.

I hope you know I am not encouraging them.

^^^

I responsed based on the title of the thread.

And i'm sure I also asked for clarification and provided reasonable suggestions.

unfortunately they made (or are making millions) with it. Clubs and fashion designers pay heavily for their patronage.

Tell me why a lot more wont want to follow suit.

Yes you are wrong for getting annoyed.

An active man must refuel. EAT!

are you angry about the fact that they are hungry . . or that they are telling you about it?

If you dont like to cook, then get some guy who enjoys cooking or likes to eat out.

but dont get mad cos guys like to eat

^^^

see! it's not only yoruba guys that love flesh

virgin virgin virgin

how do you know they are virgins?

whatever you choose, stay true to yourself. Do not date or marry outta pity