₦airaland Forum

"REX"

(Another piece from the dusty desk of The Sob Brother)
(The FICTITIOUS Adventures of a rejuvenated "Ajekpako"
I am an "Ajekpako". For real! A good- looking one at that. "Bad belle" is
allowed. It is not forming, pretence, swag or la-di-da - I am simply an unapologetic "Ajekpako" by providence. I didn't choose to be born one. God, without seeking my opinion or approval (because he is God, I guess) gave me the unadulterated genes of a staunce, stubborn "Ajekpako" plus a crazy brain on top of all my fair slim, no, I mean, slender frame. I can't vividly recall how it actually happened, but by luck, fortuitousness, hap, chance, predestination, karma, fortune, lot, kismet, destiny, the long list continues on and on, or simply some twisted work of fate, I woke up one morning and found myself in Kano- the Mecca of Nigerian Muslims and this is my story!

"REX"



Some memories won't just die. Regardless of how one tries to eliminate them, they still find a way to pop up, reminding you that its a cold war out there and one has got to stay strapped. Three months had passed, but the memories of the sordid incident remained fresh in Rex's mind, like it had just happened yesterday.

It was exactly 6pm by his wristwatch that fateful Saturday, Rex had applied what was left of his Soulmate hair cream. His white long sleeves shirt properly buttoned? Check. New-Pimples? Check. Blackberry charger in his very hands? Definitely on Check! He looked down at his black jean trousers and dusted it for the fifth time and when he was convinced that he was presentable, he headed for the barbing saloon at the end of the street where he had always killed boredom in the evenings and most especially charged his epileptic Z10 battery.
"I dey, how your side?" Rex responded as one of his friends greeted him. For some reasons, he was to a large extent respected within the neighborhood, partly because he knew the basics of respecting himself and looking good. His school was on holidays and being one of the lucky few in the street who had gained admission upon finishing secondary school, he tried his best to live up to the coveted title - "Undergraduate".
From all indications, Rex was a perfect description of someone who had an amazing sense of fashion but was not rich enough to express it. His shirts had been in a long-term cosy relationship with the pressing iron and for his trousers, they were always neat and buckled on his waistline. At least, he knew better than sagging.
He stopped on two occasions where he had to shake hands and benevolently offer the "bro-hug" to his real hommies and by the time he had reached the saloon, the extension-box was already filled up, announcing the clear fact that he had to wait! Being that he had no other place to go, he decided to wait and busy himself with the program that was being shown on the plasma TV.
The saloon was filled up with boys, and girls. Boys who came for haircuts and pretty girls who had escorted their handsome boyfriends, paranoid that they may be snatched by desperate girls, if they don't cone with them. Yes! Afterall, there was no harm in being over-protective. Before now, Rex had dropped his charger on a stool close to him and joined in a friendly conversation about a music video by Davido. The saloon was noisy when his other phone rang. Upon picking it up, it was his friend Benji that was calling.
"Whatsup bro?" Rex said as he picked the call
"Normal levels. How e dey be?" Benji inquired promptly
"E no get as e dey be. Na Piro saloon I dey sef" Rex responded smartly..
" Light dey my ends oo" Benji announced.
"Haba....See me dey come be dat na" Rex smiled and ended the call happily. At last, he wouldn't have to wait to charge his phone in the saloon that day.
He hailed the guys in the saloon in a "till we see tomorrow" tone, grabbed his charger and headed for the door that was neatly framed with glass. He had barely reached the door when he felt a tap on his back. When he turned around it was one of the girls who had been sitting in the saloon with her boyfriend.
"That's my charger you are holding" She said with seriousness in her voice.
Her words were like Athenian arrows falling unto his Spartan ears.
"Ah Ah...No this is my charger" Rex said smiling in order to register to her that there must have been some form of confusion somewhere.
"No! That is my charger. I left it on the stool over there" She said.
"This charger?" Rex was shocked at her conviction. "I am the owner of this charger, you can see the inscription I made on it" He said showing it to the girl trying not to cause a scene.
"See that is exactly my inscription. You just stole my charger now. Don't make this difficult for yourself." She said angrily turning towards the direction of her boyfriend. "Baby, is it not my charger?" She inquired.
"Its your charger na, wait! Did he say it was his?" The boy inquired standing up smartly, like every responsible boyfriend would do.
"Yes. He picked it up and was about going out" She responded with conviction. Indeed, she had just caught a thief red-handed!

Now Rex couldnt believe what was going on. How could he be accused of something he never did. Nothing of this sort has ever happened to him in his entire life. Everybody was now starring at him with disappointment. Those who knew him to be a very nice guy were shocked.
"Bros why person go drop im charger, you go just carry am? Wetin dey worry you?" The girl's boyfriend barked announcing his position in her world.
"Na my charger be dis, I swear!" Rex insisted. He felt like crying, but how would he? It would be the worst thing he ever did to himself. He wished the ground would open and swallow him right away.
You know that moment when nobody seems to believe you and you have to come close to someone just to explain a point that you are not even sure he/she will accept.
Some guys who knew Rex had already believed that he had the intention of "moving" the charger. So in order not to make the matter escalate and save his face, they asked Rex to just apologize and return the charger, simple!
Upon seeing the unfortunate turn of events and how nobody believed him, Rex apologized. Not everyone would apologize for what they didn't do, but that was Rex for you. He wouldn't fight no matter what.
"I am very sorry for stealing your charger" Rex muttered almost breaking down. "Please forgive me"
The girl didn't respond. She merely grabbed the charger from his hands,sat down and hissed loudly.
Rex was so devastated that he couldn't even go out of the saloon anymore. He sat down back and bowed his head in anger. He couldnt talk. He was sure he would cry if he tried. He just bowed his head, closed his eyes and picked on his nails.
It didn't take long before the girl and her boyfriend finally left the saloon. This was an opportunity for the guys in the saloon to inquire the truth from him.
"Rex, na sharp one you wan bin do her?" One of the guys asked.
"Na my charger be dat.... but just forget" Rex muttered with his head still facing the floor.
Who would believe him? Who would? Rex could see his reputation crashing to the ground. "I swear that charger na my own" he said standing up and biting his teeth to hold himself from crying.
He sat down back and steadied himself to watch the program again. He sat there for about fifteen minutes but his thoughts were far away from the screen, lost and stranded. When he was finally convinced that he was decieving himself and needed to go back home and reflect upon his life, he got up and raising his head, right in front of him, was the girl who had accused him. She looked pathetic.
"I'm so sorry, I wrongly accused you. I didn't know my friend carried my my own charger when she was leaving." She pleaded. "The charger is yours, please have it. So sorry, it looked exactly like mine"
Rex couldn't utter a word. He was boiling inside. He looked at her in the eyes. "No! You can have it" He said brushing aside the girl's boyfriend who stood at the door, and walked out with his hands buried in his pockets!
To be continued.......Next Tuesday

I am an "Ajekpako". For real! A good- looking one at that. "Bad belle" is
allowed. It is not forming, pretence, swag or la-di-da - I am simply an unapologetic "Ajekpako" by providence. I didn't choose to be born one. God, without seeking my opinion or approval (because he is God, I guess) gave me the unadulterated genes of a staunce, stubborn "Ajekpako" plus a crazy brain on top of all my fair slim, no, I mean, slender frame. I can't vividly recall how it actually happened, but by luck, fortuitousness, hap, chance, predestination, karma, fortune, lot, kismet, destiny, the long list continues on and on, or simply some twisted work of fate, I woke up one morning and found myself in Kano- the Mecca of Nigerian Muslims and this is my story!

Henrynliam@yahoo.com