₦airaland Forum

Silentgroper:
Shiit loads of epistles here and there.. So op's childhood wish was/is to become a babymama.. Wawu!! ... Well there is nothing new under d sun, so they say.

Rosement:
Marriage is not compulsory and it is not even sinful to decide to stay unmarried but what you listed here is not enough reason to decide not to get married. There are men that are sharing chores with their wives, just look for a man that is compatible with you. I pray you eventually marry a guy that loves you and cares you so much about you. When that happens, all these chores you listed here will not even be a subject for debate because you will not see them as slavery, you will even be happy to do them. I have seen men force their wives to employ maids because they felt the chores their wives were doing were too much.

Couples in healthy relationships are more concerned about each other happiness, comfort and progress, they have no interest in fighting for position because they are not unnecessary bossy, controlling or jealous. Their marriage is more like a partnership, so they put in effort to get the work done because one person's failure is also the other person's downfall. In such marriages, society views and opinions does not really matter, both the man and the woman just keeps putting in effort to make the marriage work.

GreatAchiever1:
So from your first paragraph, I take it that you're trying to say that even if you were to be in a happy marriage, it won't be happy for you, and you could end up ruining such a happy marriage... then the problem is you.
Just go and work on yourself, married or not, and if you still think you don't deserve/want to be in a happy marriage, well it's better if you just stay single than to ruin such thing and cause pain for someone.

I don't think I've heard someone regret getting married, it's usually the choice of partner but then again nobody forced them.

And for the letter, it is what I saw, and then there is 2, 3 and 6. It's an advice like it's written there and not a reason for someone to use as a claim to decide not to get married.

AdeniyiA:
How long will they or can sustain such solitary lifestyle, how will they deal with d boredom that comes with it in the long run... I have an old grandma at home in the village, she was always looking forward to our arrival during the yuletide season. She's always happy that she wouldn't know when she'd forget to walk without her walking stick throughout our stay... And when we're back to our various homes, soon she'd begin to walk with d aid of the walking stick... It's a form of torment living a lonely life, it kills

Hayee:
you see that loneliness ehn na wetin some people want

I know three women 50, 60 something and 73 that are not married with no children
One man in his late fifties no wife or children

They are all NIGERIANS ooo
Two are living in my street sef

People just fail to understand that some people love just solitude, after coming from work just make and eat your dinner, maybe have a sip of red wine or juice, brush your teeth and bath then go and sleep

GreatAchiever1:
Sure getting married or not is a personal choice, but I've heard stories of people not getting married for reasons best known to them, and then later in life regretted it.
Like I said, just do you if it's really what you want, cause I really do not know you but just pray you don't regret it.

And for the letter you just mentioned, I googled it, she did not say you should not marry at all o, she just said what they should avoid if they want to get married.

MrBroke:
Nigeria and how they conclude, what if this was a third party murder disguised as suicide. How well have they investigated this?
PussyAssPeople

Rickmann:
Marriage for me is overrated and seriously even as a guy, it scares me.. Asides the companionship, what else?

Prettygirl200:
Am just asking though!!! But if u have made up your mind, it's cool it's your life. As for me am doing otherwise, I love companionship!!!

Prettygirl200:
Yeah I understand u, But u being a woman, don't u think it might affect u later in the future

AdeniyiA:
Yeah I got the civilization stuff, like lifestyle imposition?

The problem with many marriages nowadays is the preponderance of 'kids' going into marriage with no single idea of what it entails - each party's responsibilities, the dos and donts. I raise this issue sometimes ago in a group chat and I asked this question...

Why can't there be school for marriage/marital affairs in the world sef?

Where certificates would be issued, so that after learning about marriage and your responsibilities in it and you divorce, you'd be able to know if you had failed to put your certificate into use. This phenomenon of break up where each party claims to be right is quite unbecoming. Because I see lots of kids going into marriage with no single experience on how to sustain or maintain it. Why do we spend years learning about animals , crops and other living things but not marriage which is also a lifetime commitment.

Recently I have just been thinking about this. I just think a society that does not want divorce or the children to be raised by single parent should request for Marital Education certificate before couple are legally binded. The church is overstretched already... #justthinkingoutloud

Prettygirl200:
Well if u feel marriage is not for u, or u don't want to get married it's up to you. U shouldn't condemn it bc u don't like the idea of marriage. I love companionship even as a very young girl so for sure I will get married and have my babies ( even though am scared of childbirth) Not being a baby mama to anyone or out of wedlock.

Hollybratt:
At the age of 20s, tell me what else does she want to grow, horn?

Eniitankorede:
You are having a brain wave. Come back here when you are 50 and tell us your experience. Have you read Steve Job’s letter about family and love and making money? Perhaps when you are in your death bed you can then appreciate what you have missed.

saggis:
Your thread reeks of extreme, 'burn your bra' feminism. Right from the condenscending title "A thread for smart people ONLY".


That marriage is not for you does not make marriage a bad insitution. Many women prefer to be married and are happy doing just that.

You just stated that you like being in a loving relationship( Fvcking) and having a companion, what difference does it make if the word marriage is attached to it.

To me it's just a word that guarantees nothing. There are couples who have been together for more that 30 years without being married. Notable ones are Oprah and Sting of The Police. So it really does not matter whether you choose to be married or not. I also see nothing wrong in a lady dropping her name to adopt the husband's name. It is an infantile squabble over nothing. Do what makes you happy, but don't condemn what equally makes other women happy.

chatinent:
Relax, when you grow up, you'll understand better.

JOACHINpedro:
I just had this discussion with a fellow Corper few hrs ago. It's glaring that in some years later, marriage will be a thing of the past.
It will be called Contract Gender Union that would definitely have expiring date.

GreatAchiever1:
Either you have been deceived by modern day feminism and lifestyle or you haven't yet seen the right man that will reset your thinking to its default factory settings.
Anyway just do you, but pray you don't regret it later.

AdeniyiA:
You see my sister, let no one forces you to do what does not come from your mind. In the end you'd discover you're OYO.
Having said that, the main purpose that God instituted marriage is for COMPANIONSHIP, others are secondary, but He never forces anyone to do anything. Loneliness is not a good thing. Marriage comes with its challenges as other good things, but let the choice to remain single comes from your inner being for reasons best known to you BUT never to avoid challenges.

Now let's look at the importance of having a companion and companionship...

What is companionship?

Companionship is the good feeling that comes from being with someone else. companionship indulges you a sense of closeness by being with another person - may it be your relative or a caregiver who devotes his or her time in looking after your welfare. A feeling of fellowship or togetherness is what encompasses companionship — it's one of the reasons older people seek the accompaniment of a fellow human being. The need for companionship is very human, very normal, and very necessary. It gives us emotional balance and lets us enjoy life.

What does it mean to be a companion?

A companion is one who serves as a friend or as a partner in your daily life. To be a companion is to regard another person’s well-being with the same importance as your own. To be a companion is to find delight in joining a fellow human being in fulfilling his tasks. To be a companion is to ensure that your patient’s needs are met on a daily basis and that he or she finds refuge in your comfort. To be a companion is to know that keeping company comes with respecting individual preferences. Lastly, to be a companion is to enjoy the reward of life together.

Why is companionship important?

Companionship is essential in establishing a sense of belonging. Without it, people tend to become lonely and even depressed, which is why our society needs to make more of an effort to meet the companionship needs of the elderly.

Companionship is a symbiotic relationship that enables the elderly (both of you at old age) to thrive together, the children would have gone their separate ways . Having friends and companions enables a person to openly deal and talk about challenges, express grief and happiness, and to find resources to solve problems.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You are a different breed..I also have no idea why people are so obsessed with the idea of marriage..So you decide to spend your life with this one person and have kids with them...What is soooooooooooo special about it?

Marriage shouldn't be seen as an achievement..nether should birthing kids too..MARRAIGE is like a Gum..Initially Juicy..soft and good in taste..
As the time passes it becomes hard and difficult to survive with it...

Many people go their entire life without being married and live very happy lives...Some people really like living as a married couple and some are just content being with that someone special...You should do what makes you happy not conform to what society believes you should do..As for better/worse-that would depend on what makes you happy...

Hollybratt:
Hey Chap, you are asking a lady for card now,
when they start insulting you later
you will be looking like a living ghost

Rexymania:
Na Yoruba girl?

henndukwe18:
maybe she eats a lot of beans or eggs

Itzurboi:
I don't know why i find myself laughing @ VIBE... Maybe i have a dirty mind. lol

1F30M4:
Hahahaha, it's the "not my fault, I'm a human being" for me. So you and your other roommate are what then? Insects lol? I know someone like that, very loud farts every 5-10mins, it got me so pissed even as it felt like he was just passing gas, odourless gas. The sound is really off-putting *rolling my eyes* and then someone says "c'mon don't be like that, he's a human being, do you want him to hold it in and maybe get hospitalized?" I'm like "oh pleeease!" in my head.

Since it's more like a school hostel allocation and not your rented space/apartment, I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it, you can't kick anyone out and you can't move to another room. The good thing is you won't have to deal with all that for too long. Congratulations in advance, welcome to the favour market.

Kingsean:
try MeetMe app. you would likely find someone. nairaland discouraged me as well. thought I could find someone serious. we can talk on WhatsApp 0.7.0.3.5.7.0.3.0.0.8

Kingsean:
I heard the video is not connected to the church in any way and that it's from Togo