₦airaland Forum

Dmacqh:
When you are beautiful and wise , you don’t need to market yourself. All you need to is make sure you are well packaged , show the humane side of you . Have something to offer . Not only body and sex . Also some beautiful girls I’ve been with comes off with entitled mentality . They expect to command the attention of Davido and Wizkid and CR7 . That’s not good . And most times they rub the beauty on the faces of their partners .
Don’t forget insecurity, it takes grace and discipline for a beautiful girl to be humble . Little quarrel , she expects you to beg her because she’s a beautiful.
The only girl , I loved , my ex ( we both deflowered ourselves ) was a good example . She was loyal , humble but changed. Her beauty took her places , I couldn’t take her to , exposed her etc, she changed . Normally , we are open to each other , I apologize if I’m wrong , same with her , but after the sometime , if I don’t call for 2 days , she won’t call . I also noticed that she comes around mostly for sex. I managed a bit , but concluded , that last last , man need make money . I’ve to let her go . She never believe I could do that , maybe because she’s beautiful. So once my leg work click by God grace , I’ll definitely look for a beautiful one both( face and soul ) and date . For now , let me be useful to myself , my parents and siblings , and make excess money .

Good luck , I hope you find what you're looking for , and sometimes it happens like that , when ppl tell you nice things about yourself on a regular basis , it starts to get to your head , I'm guessing that's what happened to your ex

BadRadio:
As for me, I can't stand the sight of a fat woman... sorry, no disrespect for all the fat ladies out there... but there's this thing between me and slim ladies.

My to-be wife has better not get fat, else I will personally introduce my slim side chick to her. I don't like what I hate


That's my biggest fear

My biggest fear is my husband spending more money on his side chick than me , I don't care if you want to have sex but don't bring disease , no bring belle , no go overspend , no go stay for one person hand

Rhozabeth:
This op just spoke many peoples mind! This is something i have always wondered for years!. I wish the women here would be bold enough to tell us why this is so!

When there's high demand of something , the value increases and when there's low demand the value decreases , we have a lot of options and opportunities to have sex that its less exciting , abi do you enjoy watching one movie 100 times and not get bored? Its usually the older women that might be sex starved but an average lady pretty or ugly , thick or thin , short or tall , dark or light , they always always have men who want to have sex with them ( broke men , fit men , rich men , ugly men , handsome men , sick men , married men , young men , old men) .

Then you'll choose the one that wants you beyond the sex , if you can't get that or you're not in for commitment , you look for the one that has what you need or want or the one that wants to do more for you.
So I think the best solution is to tell every man to go on sex strike ( we know that's not going to work ) but even if you did , there are more women product than men for sex , from Love Machine's , vibrators , fingers , vibrator panties, cliterature( erotic books unlike men we can have wild imaginations and we don't need magazines for it)
Another thing is when things don't go down as smoothly as we hoped , the women have bigger issues eg pregnancy , we contract STDs faster , we are more likely of contracting STDs ,

Did I forget to add that female products and services are more expensive , from regular gynaecologist visits ( for the extremely careful women ) , birth control pills , pads are increasing price everyday , then to look good , to make simple shoulder length casual braids can cost 6k unless you have really good deal on hairstylist or you're cutting your hair , short shoulder length simple wig cost an average of 15k , unless its fake , not everyone does nails , there's expensive clothes and expensive shoes ,

Sure you're not the ones that asks us to look or smell good , but if we didn't you're going to stay quite far away and go for Instagram slay queens who spend fortunes to look that good , so yeah I can take care of myself but I think to certain point if any man is going to be around me , whether for sex , for commitment or for marriage , IT SHOULD SHOW I can't stay with anybody coz of sex , it's not possible at all , na money kill better soup las las
And the ladies will disturb you according to how they value themselves
Secondary school girls on natural weaving and uniform won't understand women who leave their house at 4am just to schedule hair appointment , you can give the secondary school girl 5k and She'll do everything for you and you'll give the other aunty same 5k and that's the last time she'll pick ur call
So with this gentlemen i hope to convince you and not confuse you , that sex is less of a big deal to women than men and if you want peace of mind , lower your standards or go to your village to pick

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

When Satan sees that you're becoming desperate to settle down , he will package his favorite cousin for you , I am in no place to advice you or say anything , but I think you shouldn't really rush it , marriage is a serious thing , two months is too short , and about him doing well , you've not heard of ppl forging things and even identities ?
For him to avoid taking you to his place , it might be he doesn't trust you , he's married or his living condition is not something to brag about ,

For him to ask you that question , it feels like he's trying to discourage you from getting any ideas , ( which has already happened).
I think you should ask him first , no matter how hard it is , you should do it now and get it over with , its better you know your place now , than for you to put all your eggs in one basket thinking you found yourself a boat.
The idea of settling down early sounds nice but don't let it tempt you into desperation , and find yourself in the wrong hands , peace of mind over everything
Good luck

God1000:
I know both genders are difficult to raise nowadays, some bring shame home after everything their parents have gone through to ensure a bright future for them.
So which one is more difficult to raise between male and female child?

Daughters 4 girls if I could choose , I would love my son but if I could choose I want girls , I pray God allows me to remain the way I am even when I become a mom

bigpicture001:
Both my mother and sister are money chasers.. u think I am biased cuz they are family...? I listen to their discuss regularly.. all of u women are all an item that money can buy... U people don't love anyone.. only money means the world to u people...

U people always agree to this am saying wenever ur in a happy and sincere mood.. but like to lie and claim love in public

At least we have an idea what's the cause of your mindset now

drezzyx:
Who understood this explanation?

I understood every last word

MufasaLion:
Don't generalize, I'm not cunny.

Maybe not you but mine were

mhizgracie22:
Bros you're wicked o , there's nothing more painful than getting "thank you" or "okay" as a reply after ranting on phone or sending a long dramatic text, that shi.t hurts like hell

That's the worse thing you can do to me , he even said thank you my own just read my rants and ignored , 3 ppl oh , I got used to it after the second one , that one ignored me only to post trash on his status upandan , the other two just didn't reply at all , one at least tried to chat again after a week or so to look like he cared but all na wash , the very first one ignored me until I called to know if he was still alive after a month ,but I regretted it the moment I heard his voice , I think ppl don't understand how disrespectful it is to leave church before closing prayer , its the same for relationships , closure helps both ppl heal or move on faster but nooooooo it has to be a game of who will call first

Closure is not begging anyone to stay oh , its just an appreciation of the past both ppl spend together , but Nigerian men and closure will never be related
"I can't beg anybody to stay , she has said she want to go ehen I can't change her mind " maybe I watch too many movies that's why I have high expectations

MufasaLion:
It's breakup, not war.

Its not but some ppl want to eat their cake and have it , and you men are very cunning , I'd rather not take the chance , if its over its over

Dat2jo:
I got appointed as an aide to my Governor (one of the Northern states), so we are always in and out of Abuja. Lately, I just have the urge to get a homely 18-22 year old girl (not a wild runs babe), to be taking care of her financially, then get her to keep me company in Abuja anytime I'm there. I just want to find her in my hotel room anytime we are back from our numerous meetings.

I have a lovely family, 2 kids and a beautiful wife. Wife is everything you can think of in a woman and the sex is great. But I just find myself chatting random girls with a fake account on Facebook, trying to find one that can fit into the side chick profile. Wouldn't mind an 18yr old I can groom.

Is anything wrong with me/that?

Lol you ppl should not fall for this oh , ppl who say " take care " or " groom " are the worsetest , 2k alert on festive holidays

Stephen2324:
Can you really be friends with your ex

It has never happened , I doubt it ever will , when its dine its really done , if I'm still talking to you then it meansbi I've not moved on yet , I delete , mute and block you and all your relatives

yinkaOdutuyo:
Pls I need your advice on this.

Since have being dating my fiancee going to 3 years now, I have being doing almost all her parent responsibilities.

I was the one that sent her to school -ND1 and ND2, I paid all the semesters school fees.

I also paid her 2 years rent, when she was in the school. All her handouts and school bills were paid by me. Even till feeding.

Her parent are just to poor, that they can't even provide what they'll eat for themselves.

I did almost everything within my power to provide for her and help her parent atimes with some little I can afford.

Now she's done with her ND programme, am planing to enrol her for a professional Catering Job, which is amount to almost 250k.

At times she come to my place and spent like 2weeks, 3 weeks or even 1 week with me.

So of a recent her mom asked her to come home and spend some days with them.

She now called and ask me for feeding money, but I was angry and I asked her, Can't your parent provide basic needs? Like feeding, clothes etc. You'll be in my house I'll provide what you'll eat and when you're in your parent too, I'll still be the one to provide what you'll eat. Didn't your dad go out every morning to go and work?

I just told her, that if her parent can't provide basic needs, I don't think is proper.

And again she's the type that want to wear what other ladies are wearing and want to up to standard.

And I didn't send any money to her.

I just want to know if am wrong for asking her that. because her dad is alive and mom is healthy, but they're always broke and no money, that they hardly feed 3 square meals.

There's a friend of mine that has the same issue with his babe , it's weird because you have similar names Ibiyinka But maybe just a coincidence

989900:
It's not even about the money -- it's about her mentality and her parent's!

That's just it

Saintinoo:
I don't care how you spend your money, but I hope you also spend this much for your mother and female siblings.

hmmmmm most of them don't

Iyaebe:
Useless men everywhere, I pity ladies that give you people free sex all in the name of expression of feelings, even Adam couldn't touch Eve till God asked him to do something which serves as the bride price before he was allowed to touch her but some ladies wey nack head for ground will begin parting their legs over nonsense expression of feelings. Its unbibilical to have free sex,go and find out.So Oga Op if you can't feed her then leave her for her parents and go your way,you did not complain when you were winning your pelenge waist on top of her.

You don't know when to draw the line , do you?

Dondollars4u:
I dont see any reson to complain because you made her use to it, if she truly loves you, she will engage herself in odd jobs or business to fund her Minor needs to lessen your expenses on her. Bro is too late to be wise, else u will loose woefully. Abeg think of your nd, rent and handout expenses on her before you come to your brain
The most annoying, most girls don't see it as help rather they tag it as responsibilitis because they serve bed meals.


Abeg we need more opinions from our ladies

It's true oh , he should rush and marry her if he wants to manage her like that , she's looking for fight to use and escape , its rare to see a man like this sha , most of the others who come to complain about this same thing will give you card and say they've helped you , this relationship thing is looking like war kill or be killed , hurt or be hurt , this life no balance

yinkaOdutuyo:
Pls I need your advice on this.

Since have being dating my fiancee going to 3 years now, I have being doing almost all her parent responsibilities.

I was the one that sent her to school -ND1 and ND2, I paid all the semesters school fees.

I also paid her 2 years rent, when she was in the school. All her handouts and school bills were paid by me. Even till feeding.

Her parent are just to poor, that they can't even provide what they'll eat for themselves.

I did almost everything within my power to provide for her and help her parent atimes with some little I can afford.

Now she's done with her ND programme, am planing to enrol her for a professional Catering Job, which is amount to almost 250k.

At times she come to my place and spent like 2weeks, 3 weeks or even 1 week with me.

So of a recent her mom asked her to come home and spend some days with them.

She now called and ask me for feeding money, but I was angry and I asked her, Can't your parent provide basic needs? Like feeding, clothes etc. You'll be in my house I'll provide what you'll eat and when you're in your parent too, I'll still be the one to provide what you'll eat. Didn't your dad go out every morning to go and work?

I just told her, that if her parent can't provide basic needs, I don't think is proper.

And again she's the type that want to wear what other ladies are wearing and want to up to standard.

And I didn't send any money to her.

I just want to know if am wrong for asking her that. because her dad is alive and mom is healthy, but they're always broke and no money, that they hardly feed 3 square meals.

I came here thinking its another rant about " I'm not giving any penny to this V*ginarians and leeches " you know? The usual post men who feel inadequate come here to post .
But you? You just entered the wrong place at the right time , you're not wrong for saying that , but I honestly feel like you're being used , if you're doing all of that and she doesn't even want to help herself out to make it easy on you , then yup you are being used and She'll dump you when she's done with you.
I no say make you dey stingy and neglect your woman but there should be boundaries and limits to it and the most important thing is effort.

Men express love by giving , if you're not worth anything to him he's not going to give you anything , that's why I don't believe anything about love until you prove it and women who love would try as hard as possible to make you worry less , we would want to look like we have our shit together whenever we're with you or around you , even if in reality we don't , when she's only taking and taking and all you get is sex , then its not love oh.
But how did you do all of that when you're not even married , omo you need to have a hard conversation with her and you need you need to set your priorities right , I have two friends where the man loved the girl so much but he was dumb with it , his salary was a Million before she came in and now he's borrowing to keep up with the constant bills she's dumping on him and she's working oh , her salary is almost 300k per month , that one na rubbish love , is not my business I just dey look dem

Iyaebe:
Shebi you've been having sex with her so stop complaining and do your responsibilities in peace or didn't you know she has parents before you start parting her legs endlessly and asking her to come spend weeks, months with you?there's nothing like free sex,even the married one's are directly and Indirectly paying for the sex,let's all stop deceiving ourselves

If na ur brother u no go talk this kind thing , I do know that it shouldn't be right to be with a man who doesn't care at all at all for you and men show how much they value and cherish you by how much they are willing to give you and what they are likely to tolerate because of you , but saying because they are having sex he needs to adopt her completely is a big Bleep up .

Its too much , she's taking advantage of him , at all at all naim bad pass , its not about sex , there are ppl on the streets doing just sex and they're treated like trash , and the way you're saying it like he's her sugar dady ( nothing like free sex ) when you're not accepting that you're an ashawo ni? Look wetin you write oh
Yes the man shouldn't be in her life and be doing like room decor , it should show that she has a man but when you get a man willing to do this much , it should encourage to grow sense so that you can encourage him to continue to support you and eventually you will become something to show off , the aunty is not interested in the relationship , she's using him , she wants to cashout while she still can and leave when there's nothing left

Exkandayee:
My brother ask himooooh,any sexual active lady,no fit go without sex for a week,,,

Are you referring to yourself ? What do you mean by a sexually active lady can't go a week without sex , they can even go years just to make sure that they don't go and waste body count , its men that find it hard to stay without sex for a week , both married and single , I mean look at the person complaining , no be man ?

Moz22:
mind we talk?

I don't mind but I'm not depressed or anything , so i won't appreciate pity , if its about other things , sure , you can drop ur number or email I'll reach you

Loreettaa:
So sorry about this, sis.
You may have to come to terms with the fact that you may never have a normal mother and daughter relationship.
I'm sure you know that already, but hope is quite seductive.
If she doesn't want to have anything to do with you offline, it's best you block every access she has to you online and simply accept reality.
As for your step mom, keep ignoring her. I'm happy your dad is doing his best, as you imply.
Keep your head above the water, dear.
Your mental health comes first.

Yes I'm trying to , I just allowed her to be on Facebook but she doesn't have my numbers to call again , I don't have hers either , I swear I've accepted it already , I leave her in God's hands

Starz825:
So you are saying your mom stayed away from you that long....she wasn't even invited to your wedding??
Na wa ooo

I'm not married oh , I said she's not invited if I were to be getting married someday , nor is she expected to show up at my graduation , I never marry oh , not even close to marriage yet

22o62021:
Tell us why your real mom will abandon you?

I don't know

Double0h7:
Wow. It sounds so complex. The fact that she searches for you and reaches out often is a blessing. Maybe she is not proud of her life and afraid of you seeing her and maybe rejecting her or not being proud of her... There might be a lot of guilt she is carrying and she might be afraid of the questions she has to answer to.

I'm not making excuses for her, I just don't want you to blame yourself, and take the 'rejection' personally. It might have nothing to do with you and more about her. I'm sorry for the pain this must cause you.

I have a few friends who had to grow up without their mothers for similar reasons and it really missed them up. The rejection took a toll on them, and one of them couldn't be a good mother herself because of her experience. She lost her children and her life went down the drain after she lost her own children. It's a vicious cycle if one is not careful. Please try and get counseling so you could heal from the trauma if you can. I wish you peace of mind.

I've thought about counselling , its not cheap , I know I want it and I need it but I can't afford it right now and I'm not a fan of pastor counseling its usually biased , I think it affected me especially in my friendship and relationship life , I have few friends remaining but I've chased a lot of ppl away coz I always feel they want to be around for selfish reasons and they will leave me too and I leave them first to feel good , its worse with my exes , they weren't much better but I would constantly look for reasons to prove that they don't want to be with me and then I find myself leaving sometimes without a fight , I only have one person that has adapted to this and that's my bff , she knows when I want to be alone and when I'm ready to be with her , I can stay a month I won't call her I won't pick her call , she NEVER STOPS CALLING she's never upset , when I start explaining she just says " its okay , I understand " and its been happening for years , I think I'll be okay sha I'm coping at least

Double0h7:
This is painful... please don't give up on her yet... do you live in two separate countries? Can you not go to her if she can't come to you? I pray God fixes your relationship with her because it's an important relationship (Amen).

Same state which makes it all the more pathetic , same pH I just need address nobody want to give me any address , I've sent my address to her severally , I've called and begged and cried and attempted suicide , nothing hurts more than a rejection from someone you love , she had me with my dad when he was still married with my other mom and she left me coz she was too young to give me a good life , but its been ages since I last saw her , it would've have been okay if my second mom didn't rub it in my face every single time , but no, rejection in all angles , I only have one dad and I'm eternally grateful for him , he's the only thing I'm holding onto , my mom can live her life , I'm honestly stronger without her

Funny how she's literally stalking every social media account I have , I accept out of respect but no conversations , even when I recently signed up for Facebook again , she sent a request like maybe she comes and searches my name every week until it showed up , comments on all my pics , I mean all of them , very strange woman , she has a baby now , I don't even know if she's married , I'm not curious enough to ask , our relationship is that bad but you learn to adapt to things as you grow

dawnomike:
Her reasons for surrogacy is not strong enough in my opinion... All the same, in as much as she is enjoying the joy of motherhood, that's all that matters.
Happy 1st birthday to the little princess in advance.

You ppl are just somehow , everything is an issue , its you ppl that will still say that women are trying to trap men in marriage , that if you could get a child there's no need for marriage and now someone has done her own and her reasons are not strong enough? When its not your life , to be honest if I was as rich as INI I for don born tey tey or I would have adopted sha coz I wanted to be a mom since I knew what a baby was ,I am happy for her , that she took the bold step to have her little one , she tried 39 before she had her first one , its not easy oh , I just hope that she doesn't completely cut the surrogate mother out like that , it won't be easy for her to carry and deliver a child and then part with it even if its not your flesh and blood , its

Moz22:
One of the most difficult thing I've ever done has to be.... Stopped talking to the one that I genuinely loved, that shit hurt as hell.. but it is what it is mehn! We move

What's yours

Stopped talking to my real mom coz its been more than 15 years and the woman is still making excuses to not come and see how big I am , I just wished her goodluck and never responding to any of her messages or her calls ever, not even invited to my wedding or whatever it is , she has her reasons for staying away so I leave her to God

PlayMaker14:
You are nowhere near beautiful if you clean that heavy deceitful makeup on your face. I don't need money to date a lady except maybe I am going to a brothel to pick up a prostitute.

If you are the type that hide prostitution under the guise of showing entitlement, come out clean and state your price, some SIMPS will pay if you are worth it.


And please, you shouldn't mistake me for your father young lady.


Thank you and God bless you.

I don't get something
You can spend on a prostitute but when its your girlfriend its entitlement ? Is that's not wickedness , don't you know that you're not even supposed to have sex until marriage why all this drama when you can just be the first to bring back that rule ? So that we can understand better

anochuko01:
I know?
If I wan give, I go give. But I don't give things to those who think they're "smart"

Biggest scam in this life , man go tell you say if I wan give I go give iffa hear , to all the girls reading , don't believe it , if you don't open your mouth , they would not even remember that they have girlfriend , side chick go dey eat chicken you'll be doing accountant , managing oga money for him , only for him to be explaining problems to u as his personal counsellor

JUMIAdiscounts:
Use code “DCNDINMA” to get 10% discount on all items on jumia

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We started living together about 4 months ago and that’s when everything started going south.
He’s rich so he buys me anything I want and he also tells me he loves me all the time but one thing he does that I don’t like is that he constantly beats me when he gets a little angry.
If I don’t cook food when he’s hungry, he’ll beat me and tell me it’s my duty to feed him.
He beats me for every little thing but always comes back to apologize and say he didn’t mean to that his anger got the best of him.
I really do love him but I don’t know what to do.
Please advice me



Use code “DCNDINMA” to get 10% discount on all items on jumia. This code works both on the jumia app and website so if it doesn’t work on the app, try on the website, it’ll work

.

He'll never change oh
He's going to get worse , I doubt I can be that attached in 2 years to make me stay till now , you need to inform your friends first , or someone you trust , its easier to ignore yourself but when someone else is saying it , its easier to listen , cut him off as soon as you feel it , block him and avoid him in all ways , stay with a stubborn friend that can fight you from being with him , my friend went through the same thing but it was different coz the prickling was broke to his bones , whenever I sent her anything he would accuse her of using me to lie and hide money that men were giving her, even her mama understood my relationship with her is it boyfren that want to talk ( small dey shake oh ) , its been months since they separated we celebrated that day coz it was overdue mehn

Its obvious broke baby boys are all over this post