Ebymyk:
Your point is very clear and understood.... For me, going for rehab and counseling would be a good step. I don't trust opening up to anyone about such sensitive issues.. People's mouth leak...that's my opinion.

Yes that would be nice but many people can't afford it and those who can often don't think it's necessary until it has gotten worse
Opening up has helped me and the thing is if whatever it is I opened up about gets out , I won't feel the stigma because whatever it is I've done , I'm not the first nor will I be the last, the only person that should be my concern is myself

If someone tells me about someone else's personal problems , I keep my distance from them because I know one day , it will be me , but there are some people who will take your secrets to their grave if they have to , loyal people exist and everybody deserves a genuine listener that they don't need to pay for

Ebymyk:
it's okay,it is what it is..your advice is good but... Saying too many things @ a time... You're a lady,if you're in her shoes.how can you cope with this?

I am not in her shoes but i have succeeded in cutting off my ties with toxic relatives and friends , I was also a teen so I know things like that could happen but as an adult you become 100% responsible

The thing I would do is to open up to someone I trust preferably my age group , they will understand better , there are some things you know but you need to hear someone else say it to understand what it really sounds like

Self love is the key and it is a luxury, when you love you , noone can bullshit you , not even YOU ,
I am a living witness and I respect me , more than anyone can respect me , and noone can make me do what I don't want to or feel what I don't want to feel

So I cannot imagine myself in her shoes

Machalla:
just like y'all discuss about us when you at the saloon fixing your hair

more like us discussing about shoes and the latest kdrama , women don't actually talk about men unless they either want to complain about their bf or they like someone and need advice , we don't need threads to discuss men's body part and frankly we don't even care about any body part except maybe height lol, we're too busy talking about ourselves , our body parts and our lives
At the saloon what we talk about is money , we talk about who gave us the money to make our hair and where we bought our dress from , imagine just talking about men , that conversation will be very short and very boring

Dodgelord
Domestic violence is an issue that has claimed the lives of many women , and few men , to the onlookers it's easy to just say "get up and leave" , just as easy as it is to scream to victims of sexual assault to "speak up and get justice" but you can only fully understand how difficult it is to actually leave , when you're in the same position as them.

Many times the abuse is worse when the victim attempts to escape, and most of victims who lost their lives in the process were murdered after threats of separation or divorce got to the ears of the abusers
A victim might choose to stay because they feel they are in control of the situation if they cooperate with their abusers , to minimize damages , it's the same thing with rape , you struggle less and cooperate in hopes to remain in control of the situation and convince your attacker to at least let you live

Often times the abuser, doesn't just abuse but they attach threats to each blow
" if you leave I will kill you , I will kill your parents , your dog , our child, I'll kill myself " and sometimes these threats are not as empty as they sound , they push through with it or attempt to

the abusers will groom you slowly and gradually , testing and crossing your boundaries , strip you of the means to provide for your own financial needs so that you remain dependent ,then isolate you from friends and family such that in the end you feel you have nowhere to go , mental captivity , you can see the door open but you still won't leave because you doubt anyone can protect you and most times noone can , they just claim to

The police think it's just lovers dispute
Counselors , pastors and relatives will try to help you" fix it "if you're married , instead of detaching you completely
Only the victims know the extent their abusers can go to remain in control and sometimes speaking about it to someone is equally dangerous unless you are 150% certain that they will maintain confidentiality and ensure a successful escape and protection

Some abusers are skilled manipulators , they will shower you with romantic gestures in their non violent phase( petting) , so it's very common to hear the victim vouche for them

" they're very good , I made them angry , but they really love me, I swear"

Or they blame it on something else, "it only happens when he gets angry or takes alcohol , he wouldn't do that on a normal day "

To other people , it is absurd and then they start to judge them that "if they wanted to leave they would ", I used to be close minded about the subject too until I found out how deep it really is

They lose their self esteem and eventually believe that they deserve whatever treatment , they may be getting and the abuser convinces them over and over again , that they would change and sometimes guilt trip them and brainwash them to think that the abuser are the victims and they should be pitied
^{looking depressed} everybody has left me , I know you want to leave me too, you're the only one I love , can't you see that I'm not doing this because I want to , I thought you said you won't leave me ?

Harmful assumptions won't help , telling someone to leave just like that , is like telling a headache to stop without medication , ineffective,
If your loved ones find themselves in a situation like that, you would understand better

marlow1962:
Funny enuf, those type of gals are the ones that gets approached by a genuine loving guy, but because he doing use the lastest iPhone, wear the latest cloths, drive the latest Benz or shut down the latest clubs, automatically he’s not your type.
I find it funny and appealing same time when I see gals like that getting maltreated by dos guys that has all this “latest” stuff.
Women, they never learn.

What are you even saying?

awwwwwn look how they gathered here just to discuss about ass

Brendababy:
My Cousin Brother is 3 years older than me. We grew up being used to seeing each other naked. When we hit our teens and puberty we began to do stuff. We would masturbate together when our parents go out for certain activities, then that moved on to doing it to each other. Next step was we began giving each other MouthAction. Then of course the big step of anal sex. We probably started anal when we were 14/15 years old. Everything became a regular thing with us, even in to our late teens we still did stuff with each other. his is married now and whenever i see him i feel terrible.

He's the one that disflowered me, and this guy despited being married still wants to bleep me

Funny thing is two of my cousins have made advances towards me when we we were younger, it's very common and I had elder cousins who experimented with themselves and would tell me about it but I never got a chance to sleep over at their houses so I could only hear about it , but I can't say that I would've not made the same mistake that they made if I was given the chance , children are very curious

But if you're still doing it as an adult , then that is you , you're responsible for yourself now and I'm sure you don't want to get pregnant for a married man , a married cousin , it isn't worth it

It would be easier if you loved yourself but you don't , if you did I'm sure you would have cut ties a long time ago , he's a toxic person and it's dangerous continuing to have anything to do with him
It's not about incest , or sin or married man , it's just boundaries , when you know that something is bad for you and you continue to do it , it slowly kills your self respect and you'll just be carrying on so much emotional baggage and have to live with it
If you have a trusted friend , speak to them about it , I have a few friends that can hear I killed someone and still not react " she probably did it out of self defense"
Me: "No I really wanted to just kill him"
Friend :"Well he was going to die sooner or later "
My most valuable friend opened up about something similar but she was a child and it could've been anyone and now she has phobia for sex because of the experience and she still sees that cousin , acts like it never happened

Don't be leaving your children with just anyone , some people need to have their reproductive organs confiscated because if we start to talk about family members , especially uncles , lemme not talk

TheCongo2:


There is no such thing as someone else's child when it comes to raising a child. That is his or our child. In Africa we say it takes a village to raise a child. So, your child is my child or our child

In every situation, we should look for the best interest of our children

I'm glad we still have wise people like you here

Kobojunkie:
Alright, so your idea of a society without decadence is according to what standard? Yours where those with long legs can wear shorts and those without can't?

The low IQ human specie would not be able to understand what you're saying even if he meditated on it
The laws in Nigeria aren't strong enough to protect people from perverts and invasion of privacy
I remember a video I watched, apparently these girls wore outfits that could lead to uncontrollable urges for the men , so do you know what they did?
They chased after them and pulled their dresses to expose their unclothedness , in other to teach them a lesson , in a more developed society , those boys would be charged for sexual harassment , molestation and possibly attempted rape
The same men who have uncontrollable urges because of a mere body part that can be found on the internet , are the same men who expect us to believe they are in control to lead the way to civilization unfailingly , adorable

Many of them are not aware of their roots , how their mothers and grandmothers walked around in pieces of clothe and charcoal tattoo and our fathers and grandfather's saw nothing of it , until the white men said no no no , that's a sin , you need to dress appropriately, cover up

In places like cotonou , grown girls used to bath outside naked up until recently , even in a village I once visited , imagine the shock on my face but I didn't bring out my phone to take a picture because I understand that it is not my business , if they feel comfortable enough doing what they're doing and wearing what they're wearing , why should I be bothered ?

I personally have an odd taste in fashion , I prefer corporate wears , even in the most casual setting , maybe someone would take a picture of me one day

Perhaps we should all bring out our camera's , since the airport is now a zoo with exotic animals

I have seen some people in weird things , we all have , but that is not an excuse to think I have the opinion to tell them what they're wearing is whatever it is , if they came out like that, chances are they came from their home and there are people there who saw them in that and let it be ,
Then one low budget judge from America's next top model thinks he has an opinion lol

siofra:
Okay I will check it out.

Thank you

Fmghewzy:
Anything to support our fellow Nigerians.

I checked it out ,it was nice.

I created an account,gave him a like and a follow.

Would recommend my brother to do the same

Yes I saw your comment
Thank you

Thonia69:
I read webtoon everyday, I'll check out his comic. I hope he wins.

Thank you

Jeon
Siofra
Persophone1
Mrscarter
Magnoliaa
Maverick777
Buygala
Baddestbiitch
Virginprincess
Thonia69
Fmghewzy
Peepydelano
Kollins11
Cypress042
Danyyyyyyyyyyyy
Zonefree
Chnbanc
TMTR
pansophist
NwaAdazzi
PrinceofAgoAre
Tegabadguy
Nyascobar1414
Prettygirl200
Fira09
Hltsong

......

Many people don't know how important they are and how valuable your time , attention and responses can be in certain social situations.

On places like nairaland there will always be people who say some of the most triggering , irritating and absurd things , it's absolutely normal , while some of them really mean what they say , others might just be catching fun ,pulling people's legs deliberately just to get a response out of them and intentionally lead to an argument , a disagreement and of course the continuous circulation of toxic , irrelevant information

Then we have very interesting educative people on the other hand , willing to teach and learn from others and maybe sometimes disagreements and debates may happen but they're open to LISTENING to other people's views , opinions and responses and definitely not doing harmful things for the fun of it

The more we respond to the negative energy people and give them the ATTENTION they are always seeking , the more confidence they have to continue acting like themselves and this will limit your access to information that is actually good for you .

Think about it for a sec
If everyone decides to delete their nairaland account or majority do and there's little to no interaction going on , eventually nairaland may close down

no traffic ,no profit , no nairaland

So if one foolish person types , you ignore and keep ignoring till they start to interact in human language, we'll have less toxicity to deal with,
And if one intelligent person comes out , with genuine knowledge or questions that sound reasonable and interesting to you , you participate and leave , if you're quoted by someone who just wants to get you to react , just ignore , you'll get used to it eventually , and nairaland can go back to how it used to be decades ago ( peaceful and educative)

I want to believe that just like myself , there are busy people here , who may or may nt come here once in awhile to get updates about things happening ( chronic introverts ) , and there are some people who come out with foolish threads just to kill boredom and we catch ourselves , stooping to their levels , for no gain at all

E.g my girlfriend's coochie stinks should I still marry her or should I dump her and marry my sister ?( Okay I exaggerated it but just a tiny bit )

Now this does not only apply to NL , it applies to all social media platforms and even real life social interactions with colleagues , peers and families ,

We often ship the wrong information , wrong people and wrong message , not even realizing it , and most often it's not in a way that creates awareness

Twitter and IG is one of them , all of these social media thrive because of the attention we give them , this is why big companies partner with big celebrities and influencers even if people hate them, the hate will generate traffic and traffic leads to more profit , so you might think someone like bobrisky is trash and then you go right under his post to comment " go to hell" , you just patronised him and he'll profit from that you Gerrit?

The chrisland incident , I wonder how many children got their hands on it because of people showing their distaste and making it more popular and those who don't know will go and search for it , how many more will want to experiment with camera's?

Mummy GO many people claim not to like her and think she's crazy but I see her videos everywhere because it's funny ? Okay

I can go on and on
Especially for my ladies , who come here to fight off the redpillers and misogynists ,
instead of wasting your time and your energy bickering with people who don't pay your bills or GAF , why not channel it to something you absolutely want to see more of .

This should be common sense but alot of us don't know it and I'm one of those who forget it sometimes , it's hard biting your tongue when someone is just asking for it .
Add that to one of the habits you'll start monitoring
Anyways Happy Tuesday

tayo60:
Insightful! Bravo

baralatie:

And you think an 18_25 year old has found everything

There are some people you shouldn't bother talking to or asking questions , unles you know something they may find useful and are open to what you have to say, the people you're quoting are very sure about their views even if the views are very very concerning , it might be from their upbringing, but it is a free world , we need mad people to make it exciting ones in awhile

Mrscarter:


It is but i know women in their 30s n 40s had n having healthy babies

That's why NL is toxic , one small girl somewhere will be seeing this and planning to have all her 10 babies in her 20s to maintain her shape

Magnoliaa:


This is a very beautiful, lovely and intelligent submission. I ❤ it!

Thank you ❤️

buygala:


Yes baby

I am sure of your expertise in these things, as you witnessed your daddy get slower when he hit 50 . Not like he was ever not slow tho

and true chip off the old block-head you are..

Oya sorry don't cry ya

buygala:




Shey na me u dey call baby? . I have enough grey hairs to be your sugar daddy you know

No wonder I was wondering why you were so slow , its just old age

virginprincess:
Op pls make your reasearch and stop saying what you don't know, the best time for giving birth is between the age of 20-25,at that time the body is still very fertile and young to hold pregnancy and also birthing is mostly easy because at that age the lady still has enough strength to push,reasearch well you found at that the women who have complications while giving birth are between the ages of 30 and above,and giving birth on time helps you recover your shape faster.

Virginprincess , please do your research , you obviously didn't do research either because , women are still very fertile at the age of 30, and it's true there's higher chance of multiple birth and easier delivery process if they choose to do a natural birth , stop supporting rubbish

If you want to give birth at 16 go ahead but it doesn't make it better for you , most women who die from labour are the younger women , that is also why doctors prefer older women surrogates to younger surrogates , their body is used to a lot of changes
And whether anyone likes it or not , everybody will either die young or grow old and there will be white hairs and wrinkles too , you really want to spend your youth running after children and cleaning up after a man, instead of living your best life and settling down later , it's your choice

Getting pregnant and staying pregnant is easy in your 20s yes
But giving birth and conception of multiple babies is much more likely in 30s
Women in their 30s are more educated on the subject of pregnancy and childbirth , and actually make better moms because of this knowledge
They are also more capable of dedicating time , effort and love to raising beautiful children
Women in their 20s are still in their early phase of adulthood , I feel worse for teen mom's , it's going to be very hard unless you married a millionaire but even money can't help you sometimes

Women in their 30s are more financially independent to provide for themselves and their children
Giving birth later actually promotes youth and longer life and giving birth earlier may hasten your aging process , due to early stress
For example
In a race between 2 women A and B , A uses a headstart , going at full speed and B starts jogging right behind A , before they see the finish line ,A is already exhausted ,weary and out of breath and B who has been calmly jogging picks up speed and overtakes A in that one last minute and wins the race
A is for women in their 20s and B is fr 30s, interpret this in your language

Also did you know, there is a hypothetical theory that women who give birth in their 30s are more likely to produce tech savvy kids , I'm sure at least somewhere, you heard that kids get most of their intelligence from their mother, and since women in their 30s are most definitely smarter , it is assumed that they produce smarter kids

And let me add that just because you're a woman doesn't mean you can't hate women , next time you want to contribute to something like this come here with facts , ask from someone older don't just spit out what you're hearing people say and for ffs read a goddamn book

buygala:


You too, my Lady, are taking this thing too personally

You too, just like the lady I quoted, were conspicuously absent in that female child-killer thread .... Na as una hear the one wey man commit, na im una antenna stand


And no.. I am not part of anything or anybody ... I love women... dated a lot of them .. But I find it quite off-putting when you people get selectively sentimental

Alright baby
You're not selectively sentimental at all
Take heart okay

VeeVeeMyLuv:
they call it mouth power

This is what excellent marketers use, pastors, imams, politicians, Adolf Hitler used it effectively to gain power & caused world war 2, Mavro used it to fool multi million mumu Nigerians in MMM.

They know how to tell stories that appeal to human beings very very well. Storytelling

Managers, top executives employ storytelling very well to bend people's psyche to do their will.

It wasn't mouth power for me , it was something stronger , we didn't talk for 5 minutes he didn't have the chance to brainwash me , what you're talking about is not something that can be effective in seconds , I'm talking about juju or charm , I've been hypnotized twice and the second one could've cost my life

buygala:


Calm down mummy

I didn't see you exhibit this kind of hate in that thread where a Cameroonian woman poisoned to death her 3 kids, while attempting to kill her husband..

Evil knows no gender.. No need taking this so personally

And how did she take it personally? she called him a wife beater , perhaps you didn't get to study grammar in school , so wife beater sounds plural to you ,

why not go and preach to the other men who generalise women as one ... Oh wait you can't preach what you don't know because you are one of them

Evil knows no gender and that is why she directed her words to the culprit that did it , I wonder where you saw her saying 'only men do something like this or all men are like this ' it's always the hypocrites that think they're smart , in every corner on every thread there are more than one men preaching against the evilness of women , if you really believe evil knows no gender ,preach to them

dawnomike:
I guess she was hypnotized right from the first encounter

Yes that's another angle
If I wasn't hypnotized before , I wouldn't have believed it's possible , I offered my money to a stranger and let him walk away , when i realized myself , he was long gone

Do

wany:

Why will anyone ever think of dominating another, what for .

Can you not see? To men in Nigeria and universally women are properties or pets , they'll do anything to make sure it stays that way .

Why? because , men are very scared of women , especially women who know that they're women , you have the power to create life , emotionally intelligent, you're more in tune with mother nature , you have powers in your body, and that is why when a woman manifest her dreams consistently and sincerely, it becomes reality and when she lays a curse on you ^{you're totally fuuuuuckeeed},

your religious leaders have brainwashed men to believe that women were created as Jara , a help meet and that women are inferior , weak and second class citizens, when in fact women have more spiritual powers than men , why do you think ritualist mostly demand for female body parts and why do think even your panties and your periods holds power that is used to create wealth for stupid ignorant people , women are stronger and more populated , so if we're destabilized , power remains in their favour


all the preachers say noone comes before your husband and if your husband says kill yourself then pray to God to change his heart , like Moses changed Pharaoh's heart after God intentionally hardened it to prove a point , so romantic

Only a new born baby would not know that this world thrives in misogyny and I'll be damned if I participated in this , but don't worry there are few men who are on our side , it is hard to be a man and not be misogynistic , men are like crabs in a basket , if one of them tries to escape , the others will claw him down , so when you find a man who respects you as a woman and an equal human being , have sense please

While some don't even know that they're misogynistic , it's a bit sad but like I said I'm not participating in this , I'm on the brighter side of things and it stays that way

Do have a good day

Fmghewzy:
You haven't dropped any

I'll tag you when i do , I've been mad busy with school work , but I'll catch up

Maverick777:

are you a lady?

Sure

siofra:


Lol, how do you know I'm single?

Why do you think vabbing is disgusting or bad?

What is wrong with attracting Nigerian men? Yes I bash them on here but I still think there are good ones out there.

If I found out men were using semen to attract women, that would be none of my business. I once read somewhere that men think their sweat attracts women.

Babe what if you get an infection from that ? Putting it on your skin like that , did you check for cons or side effects , I really don't think its worth the hustle , If you're confident it works would you be happy that men are only attracted to you because they're Hot , well it's up to you do what you want

siofra:
If you don't know what vabbing is, it is when a girl applies her vaginal fluid on her skin to attract mates.

So there's this guy at my workplace. I used to think he's gay or a redpiller because he rarely talks to any girl and likes behaving like he's too handsome or too special

Anyway yesterday I saw an article about vabbing again and decided to try it on this guy out of curiosity. After bathing I waited for about twenty minutes, I did not rub cream, then I used a tissue to take some fluid from my vagina and dabbed it on my wrists and at the back of my ears before going to work.

At work, he greeted me and asked me how to prepare some reagents he stood very close to me while asking these questions. I answered as best as I could wondering if the vabbing would work.

All of a sudden he started gisting me about his master's program and how it's going. This is someone who rarely talks to me. I was genuinely surprised.

At the end of the day, before we left, he asked for my number. This evening he just asked me through WhatsApp to be his girlfriend and he was texting about how he's been wanting to ask me out but didn't want to disturb me blah blah blah!!!!! of course I rejected him I don't like him like that, I just wanted to know if vabbing works.


AND IT WORKS!!!!!!

Girls you should try it out!

Many men here might think it's disgusting but it isn't or is your vagina disgusting Of course not!!!
So try it on the guy you like and it will work.


I'm definitely trying this on a first date with a guy I really really really like

How long have you been single? Why would anyone be happy that they had to resort to such unspeakable methods to capture simple attention and of all things to do that for , it is men , the same men of this generation that you are doing this for , same men on NL , Andrew Tate's descendants
What's annoying is that you decided to post it here , there are little girls who's brain has not developed yet and they're not able to know good info from bad info , how would you feel if you found out the men around you are using their semen as perfume , grow up

LilianGeorge:
My hubby likes to suck on my breasts, he can be on my breasts suckling it for over 30mins, its not as if I don't like it cos it actually turns me on, but I'm scared, I'm scared that its going to make my boobs saggy, We have talked about this and he was like, he doesn't care if its saggy that afterall, he owns it. What do y'all think?

That sounds like heaven to me , I don't know why you're worried about the boobs , there are people who's boobs sag naturally coz of the weight and size , it's not a death sentence , you just have to make do with what the universe has given to you as a woman