₦airaland Forum

nice4life: I miss my Nigerian girls, tired of akata and others but my naija babes are hard to find here. Please help a brother and other brothers in similar position who crave for our women.

Desperation is weakness.

Mamacita007: Llooll how are we pretending? Wat city are you in?

Any girl that responds to op I feel sorry 4. Smh you are looking for a girl who's time you will waste right, smh.
Am always still shocked at how men are so selfish and wicked ( not all).

stainless40: I'm right now in a pains. In a relationship with someone whom i cherished so much. Can't even tell my stands in his life again. All he can do now is looking for where to see fault in me. My heart is over loaded with pains and unhappiness. Don't just know if this is how true love works.

what has made u lose yourself esteem? U don't know where u stand in this relationship and you are still there holding on. He looks for faults in you you are still there, he makes you cry all the time and you are still there. You are unhappy and your heart is heavy with pain and you are still there.
True love does not hurt the absence of love is what hurts and that is what u are feeling. if a person loves you they would try their best not to hurt you. Just because you have been together for so long or gone through a lot within the number years does not make you right for each other. Shine your eyes and let go. Because if you marry him or carry on with this relationship you will be a very miserable person with absolutely no self esteem.or will be the jilted party. Now u better go and speak with him and get honest answers. Just prepare for the worse.

niyoni: They are everywhere: in d neighbourhood, workplace, n even in d church! They diss u for no just reason. They r called HATERS. The moment u get a smashing-hot girl, car, property, job or upliftment; u attract them effortlessly and u are tagged as a proud, arrogant n corrupt person. For crissakes, can't a young man make clean money anymore? Why are d well-to-do easily hated, even by 'friends'? Fellow nairalanders, how do u deal with haters?

Look at you wow pot calling kettle black. You just finished hating on a thread saying why r Nigerian ladie fake. Fake fake fake. U r now ranting about haters. Lmaooo I wasn't going to comment but I had to!

niyoni: I get d impression of a grossly dissatisfied and inferiority complex-laden person wheneva I encounter a fake woman - fake hair, fake accent, fake nails, fake complexn, fake age, fake attitude, n recently fake boobs n fake behind. Pls dnt get it twisted, I'm nt against d moderate use of cosmetics n d lyks, neither am I a misogynist. As a matter of fact, I luv women, real women, not caricatures. While 'fakeness n fakeries' may get a lady many guys b/w her thighs, it will hardly put a ring on her finger. D message is simple - get real, ladies! Enough said!!

Since you are so disgusted by fake fake fake fake blah blah. Go village go find your type naa. Abi Wetin na ur mouth dem they use talk or na ontop your head the fake hair they. Hisssssss actually u have the inferiority complex because it shouldn't bother you so much how a person's accent is or whether they have implants or what they r doing with their skin or nails. Too many ignoramus!!!!

chaircover: God bless you sir . . . .Like I said earlier, the problem may be much closer to home than getting a biz and making money and until she works out why the man is being distant and is uttering those statements she will still have difficulty in closing that gap. she cant solve that problem until she gets to the root of it and she may well find that the problem is a long way away from what people are telling her about finances.

She is going to school and it is not as if the man is going to pay school fees for ever and there is a "reward" at the end of it when she graduates so I see no reason why on that basis alone he should be touchy.

I am almost certain that her starting a biz and bringing in her own money alone will not suddenly heal whatever is rumbling in this marriage. I pray that the poster is able to find her husbands soft spot and tap nefore it is too late.

I agree completely with you chaircover. harsh reality is the man could be actually looking for a way out and he just thinks let me do what is right. Paying fees paying car spending does not translate to being inlove or love. He can still walk out and still decide to pay her fees. OP might have lost herself and this man thinks she thinks its by force or fire that they will always be together. And she does things that has drained him and he is stylishly telling her I might leave or u can. He might be tired and doesn't care to make an effort. Because in reality as your friend he should tell you that you have done things that are pushing him away not beat you down with those words. You should speak with him and ask him to tell u honestly the issue that u r mature and emotionally strong enough for the honest answers ( if you really are). And pray before you embark on this journey. Truth is be truly ready becos if he tells U he is done but will carry on taking care of your needs ( worst case scenario ) are you ready for that? I sympathise with you. But truly marriage is not do or die love yourself first be whole. He also definitely thinks you cannot live without him. Be humble be nice, pray talk to him. But just know when a person male or female is done you cannot force them to love you how you should be loved. You either pick a happy life or a life of misery. I hope am not too straightforward. But peace of mind is key in this life and you have children to take care of if you don't have peace how do u want to bring up those children in a healthy way. Sometimes we have to learn to let go even if we don't want to after we have fought hard enough. Holding on too tight will eventually make the person leave.

Gambrosia: FOR WOMEN ONLY KE?
No wonder children grow up to be dysfunctional. A child should be raised by BOTH PARENTS . . . . . Divorced or separated! Unless one spouse is EXTINCT!

It should start with the men! All they know how to do is EJA KU LATE!!!
Especially, the black race!
The concept of 'love' remains an enigma.

Too many ABSENTEE dads!!!
No hope. ONLY A MAN CAN RAISE A BOY!!!! Only a few women have succeeded!!!

Think about how many men will come read this and say it is in our nature to be this way we can't help it. Should they raise their carbon copies. If you are doing what is not right as a father and not respecting your wife you think telling that child to do the opposite would register very well with the child. I feel it's really up to women at this point because if the men most, of this generation are like this how do you want to influence your son to be better. There are still some good level headed men but so few I see.

greatgod2012: It shouldnt be about mothers only, both parents have a lot to do to reduce d dysfunctional breedings of human race, so, op, you will need to change d title of d thread to something like........... "Parents;lets raise a better generation of men and women", if you really want to get d best of and from this thread.
Thanks.

I understand what you are saying I agree but I am really directing this post to women am not saying fathers should not contribute. But am saying this society has become so out of hand things that shouldn't be normal are deemed normal. I just wanted women to read this and really make it a point to concentrate on their children making sure they r better generations. Because most men will tell their son that their wife I number one but try can have different soup outside.

The reason why I said women only is because in a society like Nigeria. Where women are beaten down, told that every man is a cheat because he is polygamous by nature. Women should close their eyes to heating husbands because the next man might be worse. Now I am not saying that men should not contribute but if you are truly a GOD fearing man then please by all means contribute to your child's growth as well and set good examples. Not the one that daddy has girlfriends all over the place. Or other children outside. I mean what sort of example are you setting. I ha an ex bf whose father said in my presence today it's bola tomorrow he can be with Titi. I mean I this is what you teach your son how do we break away from the cycle of men who disregard women. so I feel strongly that women should take that role up since percentage wise women bear the cruelty of men as opposed to men.

Does your masculinity depend on dominating women to you.
Do you feel you have to control women
Do you devalue women's opinions in public
Do you feel the need to make women less powerful
Do u intimidate women by constantly finding fault with them.


Jut think about these. Marriage should not be on your agend you have to be whole and you are not. Seek GOD seek therapy.

Simple you are a misogynist you have deep hatred for women. You do not realise it. This stemed from your ex getting pregnant for another man, you have deep mistrust for women. You don't value them. You need to work in yourself you need therapy marriage should be the last thing on your mind. Do you wash yourself after you have s*x with women? Are you arrogant and think women are beneath men? Do you think that only mothers and virgins are good women? Do you feel disgusted with yourself after sex with a woman? There are many more questions. The 4 questions I have asked are the more serious traits of serious misogynist. This can lead men to be r*pists, chauvinistic e.t.c

My heart grieves only a few percentage of men are normal.there are so many wicked, immature men out there. Things I have seen stories I have heard. How can a grown adult keep malice for 1 year even one week. Some men saying cheating is okay we are men and polygamous by nature. If you teach little boys how to treat their little sisters and women. If you engrave into their hearts what is wrong. We would have less epidemic. There is right and wrong let's call it out please. Teach your daughters self worth and value. Teach them that they can do more with the brain the almighty has provided. Teach them their bodies are not a money making scheme. We have a lot of work to do. Raising children is not just putting food on the table and sending them to school. This rot in the society needs to be burnt out. Its a disgrace and a killer. We are not animals. Morals morals morals, intergrity. I look around and I am afraid one day GOD will say enough is enough. I want to write so much. But thought I should keep it short uinfortunately its not even short. Please let us raise our children in love and how to treat other people.

iretunde: This may sound very touching to some people while to
To stay with his wife with a child or to marry another wife? But as at present the man is looking for any responsible lady to married secretly far away from the wife between the ages of 27-35 years. And for any lady interested should call this number 08099218728, this is not a kind of lady that will be demanding for recharge card for blackberry subscription or a kind of lady that will be looking for someone to step up, but a kind of lady that is sincerely looking for a serious type of relationship, whether she's a widowed or seperated or divourced. But must be christian and from any tribe or ethnic races, so far she is a christian.

Drinking bournvita and eating bread waiting for insults to start.

FavouredFellow: Dear NLanders,

Is there a way I could change her orientation or would it be expedient for me to call it quit? Please I need your candid advice. Thank you all!

Watching and Eating popcorn

Wislet: ALL THESE PEOPLE CLAIMING IT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE.... Nawa oo.
I can authoritatively tell you that those are real life applications.
It's no wonder many relationships crumble these days....many don't understand the rules!
If u think u can't possibly apply them/they are just fairy tales, then pls stay in that relationship and keep allowing him/her to treat you like a big joke.
Because those that have understood how to control and be in charge of their emotions....understood that they are supposed to be desired/pursued and not them falling flat on their faces are the ones having lasting relationships without sweating to keep it alive.

I agree with you completely i don't understand some people.

chronique: Why did you post it 3 times? Are you a preacher,pastor or prophetess?

Mistake it's nairaland it wasn't allowing me post it said post back later I did not realise it would triple my post. Not sure why am explaining myself but oh well. Maybe I am pastor prophet prophetess

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]What wud you say if your husband is making plans to leave you for her, just like it's happening with most nollywood actresses? are you gon' to let him go knowing how desperate some women are these days that they don't mind being a second or even fifth wife?[/color][/size]

Women a lot don't know their self worth. Let him go if he is leaving you or her. Go to ur GOD in prayers. That is why before you marry seek GOD. Maybe he wasn't yours to begin with. He is not a baby he knows what he is doing. Never try to stop a man that has made up his mind to leave you. If he is your in your prayers to GOD he will come back. Time will tell. The moment you start begging a fighting you start to lose respect, you are saying your world revolves around him. Your world should revolve around GOD alone. women have some dignity. U. Can fight the other woman if he is going to leave u he will. Jut be urself don't change for the worse look to GOD. All good things work together for those that trust in GOD

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]What wud you say if your husband is making plans to leave you for her, just like it's happening with most nollywood actresses? are you gon' to let him go knowing how desperate some women are these days that they don't mind being a second or even fifth wife?[/color][/size]

Women a lot don't know their self worth. Let him go if he is leaving you or her. Go to ur GOD in prayers. That is why before you marry seek GOD. Maybe he wasn't yours to begin with. He is not a baby he knows what he is doing. Never try to stop a man that has made up his mind to leave you. If he is your in your prayers to GOD he will come back. Time will tell. The moment you start begging a fighting you start to lose respect, you are saying your world revolves around him. Your world should revolve around GOD alone. women have some dignity. U. Can fight the other woman if he is going to leave u he will. Jut be urself don't change for the worse look to GOD. All good things work together for those that trust in GOD

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]What wud you say if your husband is making plans to leave you for her, just like it's happening with most nollywood actresses? are you gon' to let him go knowing how desperate some women are these days that they don't mind being a second or even fifth wife?[/color][/size]

Women a lot don't know their self worth. Let him go if he is leaving you or her. Go to ur GOD in prayers. That is why before you marry seek GOD. Maybe he wasn't yours to begin with. He is not a baby he knows what he is doing. Never try to stop a man that has made up his mind to leave you. If he is your in your prayers to GOD he will come back. Time will tell. The moment you start begging a fighting you start to lose respect, you are saying your world revolves around him. Your world should revolve around GOD alone. women have some dignity. U. Can fight the other woman if he is going to leave u he will. Jut be urself don't change for the worse look to GOD. All good things work together for those that trust in GOD

eagle,eye:
at least you agree with me, about the express way thing...

Hehehehe even if I agree there is no discrimination then.

Yes did one last week a big negative

eagle,eye:
You know the funny thing is that guys think that once your able to sleep with a girl, then she will be the one to lose when things fall apart. That is why you have so many threads being opened by guys, describing the ex as a "Gold Digger".

Abeg guys, so many Naija babes know that there are very few virgins remaining and that the pu*ssy has No Meter. So them go just open leg for una and still chop una money.

A girl can use a guy (as well as a guy using a girl). So sleeping with her and spending the little earning you got does not make you smart.

I will end by saying, "A lady is like an express way, you don't know those who have passed through it, neither those who will still pass through it after you."

*rolls eyes*. And guys are like cars you don't know which express way they have passed through and the ones they will drive through again.

Jyde89: Top ten way's to win a girl's @.
1) be ya sef
2) be ya sef
3) be ya sef
4) be ya sef
5) be ya sef
6) be ya sef
7) be ya sef
be ya sef
9) be ya sef
u mumu or u get sence abeg....
0) be ya sef

Nice one!!!! Just be yourself

Piponomics: All these teenagers that just bought a 4th hand curve 2 will just be desperate to show that they have a Blackberry phone. These childish fonts doesn't make any sense! The mmumu girl that typed that long tirade of rubbish will be feeling happy with herself right now not knowing that 90% of people here won't read past the first 2 lines!! Pfft.

Mean much I really could not read it I hate those fonts myself. But you could have been nicer about it naa

Hogwash!! Ridiculous people will believe everything they read. If a guy is not doing the above then well he's just not into her. If a girl is into you she will appreciate and respond if she is not into she won't then you move on.

cindyrella: No! I kinda disagree with you on this.

You see, when you really love someone, you will always love that person no matter what.
There will always be a reason to hold on.
Unless the couple are not willing to work on their marriage.



I believe TRUE love never dies.

I think you are both in agreement you said true love that s when people don't get married for the wrong reasons.when your spouse irritates you as opposed to annoying you or upset you then....

:

vanstanzy: Ok, lets make up, KISS and be friends! I MEAN IT!

Whatever you fancy darling

vanstanzy: At least, one is supposed to try and revive it. If after such tries, things still don't work out, then he can quit peacefully. He was sounding like he wasn't going to try salvaging the marriage@ all. Didn't u read his comment?
Ur comment started well, but calling me selfish. Babes, u don't know the half of me. Sorry to BUST UR BUBBLE though, am HAPPILY MARRIED and am well aware of the commitments, thank you!

I wasn't talkn to u abt being selfis I mean OP s selfish. I just responded to ur revival comment

@OP people say fight for your marriage blah blah the truth is they are not the ones that are going to be in this life long commitment with you. Am not saying you should annul it. But the truth is you know the answer already. You are seeking confirmation. For once in your life do a selfless act for this girl. If you know you will make her miserable and be a thorn in her life let her go but if you know you won't continue to hurt her which am 100percent you are doing then work hard towards your wedding otherwise please let her go, let her hurt and let her move on to who GOD actually has planned for her.

vanstanzy: God, pls change the heart of this creation of urs, to have a different view of life. U mean u re willing to just pack-up and leave, u re not willing to try reviving it. U surrender very easily and u will make a ready prey for the enemy. U won't posse any difficulty at all. THEY WILL LOVE U!

Sometimes you can never revive a relationship that is broken. Whatever you do will never work.it will only lead to hate, resentment and more of those things. Sometimes people act like its do or die no marriage is not. It is good to marry but if at the expense of your happiness and peace of mind move on! This OP married for the wrong reasons. Because the mere fact that she irritates him is a big red flag. If I was his life coach I will say quit while you are ahead for the girls sake and not his own sake.with time she will hate him if she is not spiritually grounded. Some people kill in the name of love. Its possible to fall out of love but still love(choice). When you love the person you are with they can annoy you but irritate?? Think about that, you won't even want to be around that person. U MR are not ready for the full commitment of marriage you need to work on yourself. You are selfish.

There is always some guy here complaining about dying love. Love is a choice. If your wife is irritating you and you are having doubts about your court marriage there is a big problem here. Truth is you definitely married for the wrong reasons. Why the rush. Why didn't you do the wedding close together(court, trad and church).that being said you either sit down and face your wife and know love is a choice or you let her go now. Why r men like this I tire sef. Then see another one calling somebody jezebel rubbish.did this so called jezebel handcuff the man assuming he is cheating did she imprison him. Men in comitted r/s will chase girls. The girls will be called jezebel. Well I call those men AHAB then...long hisss.

mondi_cheeks: how in the hell was she only there for good income, when she was wit the guy right from varsity (wen he probably didn't have much) I don't see how she is desparate considering that he was the one who went back looking for her wen he found out about his HIV status...he said that he had intentions to cheat bt she eventually found out before it happened, my guess is, if she never found out, he might have done it. He isn't st gabriel either. Talk about putting a hallow on top of the devil's horns

Yes she is desperate if what he has said is true (for marriage to any guy by keeping her options open) go back and read the story properly and secondly go back and read what I wrote don't just pick out a part of it and make comments. If you are into someone and you give your word have integrity and keep to it, If you can't it shows u can do anything when things are hard and if you give your word to someone and can't keep it then tell them and move on.if he is the so called devil why would he tell her he is has the possibility of hiv, you have men who decieve women marry them knowing their status, he even gave her the opiton to leave.now if you read what I wrote correctly you will see I have already commented on the authenticity of his side of the story regarding his fidelity.a desperate woman would go dating other men asking them what they do and visit them at their houses when in a relationship.note he said they never broke up to start with after he gave her an option. And its spelt Halo not hallow.

Logical thinking.....