₦airaland Forum

U try small

Aaaaah, thank GOD, a joke that made me laugh, nd am still laffin...

My fellow NLander, dont u kno this joke has been poosted several times

Dat REALLY irritating moment when u log in to NL nd all u see are a bunch of immature kids who claim to work in big comps, but the only thing they work on is their sex life

Congrats boss, welcome to the club

pDude: Mu he he he he he! You assuming little pr!ck
I'm actually Igbo. From Abia state, Ohafia.

How does it feel shooting yourself in the foot

WHAAAATT? R u tryin 2 say akpu eaters dont spot their underwear 4 two weeks Or what r u tryin 2 say
2 me gaan sef, igbos r d dirtiest in naija. M talkin 4rm experience....

ballabriggs: [size=18pt]and then tops it up with OGOGORO. Useless people.[/size]

Once a man saw a heavily bo.obed lady. He couldnt control himself and he had to approach her...
MAN: hello fine girlk
LADY: yes what do u want
MAN: i like ur bo.obs, i feel like touching them
LADY: i see u r jobless, leave me alone or...
MAN: ok, i will give u 100,000 if u allow me to touch them
LADY: (laughs) who is after ur money, please leave me alone
MAN: ok, what of 500,000
LADY: i will break ur head if u dont vammooose rite now!!!!
MAN: now if u dont allow me to touch ur bo.obs for TEN MILLION NAIRA, i will go
#the lady hesitates for a while, then believes she will not be screwed at least#
LADY: ok, just do it quick and get d money ready
MAN: *caresses bosoms* ooooh, aaaah, oh no, OH NO!!!
LADY: what, why the "oh no"
MAN: oh no, WHERE WILL I GET TEN MILLION NAIRA OOO!!!

IF U WERE TO BE THE LADY, WHAT WILL U DO

bright007: .they are probably d simplest of d five questions so I decided to leave dem out cos dey ŵėřē far too simple.

ok brainiac, but please just answer them, at least for other dull brains here

bright007: (1)Age
(2)
(3)Match-stick
(4)

yeah, u got riddle 2 nd 4, but wat about 1, 3, and 5,

In the name of ALLAH, most compassionate, most merciful.
There is a particular group called ahmadiyyah, who claim to be muslims. But, they believe in another prophet called ghulam ahmad after the rasuul (SAW). The creed of islam states that none should be worshipped except ALLAH, and muhammad (SAW) is his servant and final messenger. Now the take is, why believe in a lesser dajaal, and most importantly, why are they allowed to perform hajj?!?

ITbomb: go and read ur books

na wa ooo, i ask a simple question, some pple giv answers, #smh#

Tinkybabe: Dr Precious is a female so none of them lied.

seconded, here is my riddle,
1. What has teeth but cannot bite
2. What goes up and never goes down
3. What goes down nd never goes up
4. What always kisses its mother before dying
5. What is always refered to as the window to the soul

malc619: While serious governors are developing their states, Osama-Bin-Uduaghan ‎​Ȋ̝̊̅$ Busy spending over 7 billion to move D̶̲̥̅̊ mountain Below..

WTF

Now this is what we call a joke, kudos

TIGER: no matter the economy of the jungle, i can never eat grass. SHI KENA!!!

Now this is funny, thought it was serious at first

chaircover: Why on earth will you go to an ex for medical treatment? especially so soon after a breakup

i wonder ooo, me too i dont understand. I trust my 9ja, dem no dey dull8-)

ileobatojo: SC is a much milder type of sickle cell than SS. I know SC people that have not had a single related health problem a day in their lives. They usually appear healthy physically. If they have symptoms, they are usually milder, their lifespan is also considerably longer than SS because they don't usually have as many complications. However, they need to go for regular check ups because there are still a lot of health issues that can affect them. So yeah, if your friends decided to get married, their children will be in a much better position than if 2 AS folks get married.

Yes, thats true.
The SC genotype is much milder than the SS type, even if they also fall sick. So if they wanna get married, fine. But, there is a 25% chance per pregnancy that it may end up being SC, remember PER PREGNANCY!!!

Garri affecting eyesight;
well, it depends on the garri processed. Cassava contains cyanide (u all know that anyway), which is a nephrotoxin and neurotoxin i.e it damages d kidneys and nerves. Therefore it affects eyesight.
The best garri to drink is IJEBU GARRI, cos it contains minimal to zero cyanide. If u wanna kno the original, then know these facts:
1) Garri that is tasteless is poison, only the sour variety is original
2) If u pour garri inside water, it must foam up, at least a bit. If not, throw it away
3) lastly, garri must swell up in water, if it just swims in it, drown it in the gutter.

So,garri is good, but i dont like mine with milk. Peanuts will do

Na wa ooo, a patient gives a presenting complaint, the next thing pple start clerking as if they r doing a long case exam!
@op, since u had a D/C, i m suspecting asherman's syndrome, thats y if u really wanna do a D/C u gotta do it with the profs, got it!
Anyway, go and do a HSG, which is a type of X-ray, then go to a gynaecologist for expert advice.
CHEERS!!!

Hello op!
The OPTIMAL blood pressure reading should be 120/80mmHg, nou in the range of 100-140/70-90mmHg. Anything above 140 systolic or 100 diastolic means hypertension.
Since ur blood pressure is 120/80, then go and do testimony, cos u r very very very very oooookkk!!! Watch ur lifestyle though!
PEACE!!!

Tinyemeka: Truthfully and I'm serious, I still don't know who this Davido is.

:/:xWHATTTT

First, the correct spelling is lipoma, and it is a benign tumour of fat cells i.e it is not a cancer.
Secondly, i m sorry but surgery is the only option. The good news is no need for general anaesthesia. Most procedures can even be done in the doctor's office.
BUT WAIT!!! If u r outside this country, there r other options like liposuction, laser tgerapy, cryosurgery, etc.
PEACE!!!

@op, i m so sorry about ur friend, but the first thing i will advise u to do as a doctor is to give her all the support a friend needs. She really needs counselling, so take her to the nearest clinic, especially a teaching hospital, where she can be totally managed by psychiatrists, haematologists, family physicians, gynaecologists, paediatricians (for the oncoming baby), and maybe radiologists and oncologists.
There is something called Prevention of Mother To Child Transmission (PMTCT), done in most teaching hospitals, where the mother takes drugs e.g zidovudine, nevirapine, efavienz, etc for sometime, then undergoes elective caesarean section, thereby limiting vertical transmission. Studies show that this method has about 95% success rate, meaning excellent prognosis.
About the breastfeeding, there are different schools of thought. Some say it shouldnt be done cos u can transmit the virus to the baby, meaning wasted effort. Others say u can still brestfeed since the drugs u take are still secreted in breastmilk. Well, u can consult with ur family physician.
Above all, do not despair, depression kills faster than the virus, please tell her that. With proper drugs and healthy living, u can live a long and blessed life.
CHEERS!!!

Wow, this also reminds me of all d shows we watch on tv; voltron, tales by moonlight, super force, incredible hulk, cadbury breakfast telly...... The list is endless
and what about the games: catcher, ten ten, police and theif, mummy and daddy..... I really miss those days.
But now, i still mix beans with garri, i dont c anything wrong with it

The first are doctors, they sleep with nurses, patients and medical students.
Next are force members, they usually do that to get info from enemy forces i.e enemy village ladies.
Then the female bankers; they must meet up with their monthly targets,,,, AT ALL COSTS!!!

MsDarkSkin: really? because even present day in some African tribes its taboo for a woman to express her feelings of love to man.
Public or privately much less ask him out.

yeah, could be among hausas, but definitely not among yorubas

Please, i have been trying to download 2go on my nokia c3, but its not going. D ovi browser is not working, i tried on d nokia beta browser, still not going. What do i do now?

Use the phone browser, that'll work