₦airaland Forum

hopefulLandlord:
if you think Christianity is not a confusing mishmash kindly read on

Let's ask Christian sects how to define Actual Christianity:

Methodist: It is accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior and publicly sharing that acceptance by getting baptized through sprinkling of water.

Baptist: No, no, no -- you must be DUNKED in water, heathen.

Pentecostal: Yer both wrong -- ye must be baptized by the Holy Spirit and ye must speak in tongues to prove you are saved.

Lutherans: You don't need to do any of that. Our founder said just believe and have faith (oh yeah and he REALLY hated Jews).

Presbyterian: How droll -- lol. No no..you see it does not matter what you do or do not, God has already decided who the true Christians will be and they are obviously all Presbyterians.

Episcopalians: Well, we each get to decide what constitutes Christianity. What is in your heart? What do you think it is for you? What say you, Bishop Spong?

Church of Christ: None of you are going to heaven because you use musical instruments in your services and God hates that.

Jehovah's Witness: Something Something Kingdom Hall; something something no birthdays, several End Times falsely predicted, no blood transfusions,,,,

Seventh Day Adventist: Pah! None of you even have the right day.

United Church of Christ: It's all good; let's listen to an acoustic guitar solo and accept gay people.

Non-denominational: Gay people? ewww. No no, ye must build megachurches with gyms and cafes to be righteous to god.

Catholic: Ummm....oldest sect here, guys. Forget that "accepting Jesus" stuff. You must mediate with God via a priest and eat crackers to get saved (just do not leave your kids alone with said priests, OK?). Oh yeah..and Virgin Mary is way cool.

Church of England: Yeah, what the Catholic said...but divorce is 100% OK.
Unitarian Universalists: Why are you guys even trying to define Christianity? All beliefs are the same (whoops.we aint even Christians).

What more can i say,ikwuchago everything.

IhateAfonjas:

If you don't have offering or tithe, just stay at home,
God will not even notice you went to church, he's busy attending to people who came with their offering

Secondly, The pastor needs to feed his family, buy a new Rolls Royce, buy a new private jet, put this in consideration and always work hard during the week so you would have the pastor's offering on Sunday

u wicked walai.. .

#TEAM ALCATEL ONE TOUCH...

*Grooving to no kissing bea by sarkodie ft patoranking* wetin consign me....

NwaAmaikpe:
Nonsense...

Did she survive that plane crash just to be a reality/talent show contestant

Her guardian angel must be so heartbroken

You are such an idiot.

Cooly100:
This is not the issue...the Igbos and other tribes who are contagious to the SE want out...We want to be able to develop at our own pace. We want to be able to get foreign loans and develop our cities without going to Abuja to beg..We want be able to build our roads without asking Abuja, we want to be able to compete without quota system. We want to have our embassies without travelling to Abuja or Lagos. We want all foreign airlines to come to the East...we have suffered having to travel to Lagos and Abuja first...We want to go to space by serious investment in R&Development..We want out people to be employed as they are recruited into Biafra army, police,Immigration, Customs, National Guard, Biafra elite commandos, Biafra Secret Service...We want to build international Stadia in our region,etc, etc...

It will be a win win situation for the rest of Nigeria and Biafra...as development would be enhanced. We hope to create mutual relationship and respect for each other.

oh no u've said it all.

DefenceBase:
must you always show cowardice? Tribal bigot

Afonjas sabi fear naa.

prinsam30:
hmmmmm I can sense something, men with follow follow, my dear him don follow one Olosho for facebook go Lagos....


don't worry when the jazz clear for him face, nobody go tell am the way back to Ghana

.

awonwerey:
Im don reach lagos


Na olosho for peckers dey hol am down. Im go still come house no worry

Put ur self in his shoes.

kayelm87:
this one weak me.

Find somewhere and faint naa

[quote author=LastMumu post=57354338]From his last tweet, it looks like he came to Nigeria just to jog. A reliable source told me he visited a powerful priest in India and he was told his village people are behind his continuous career-threatening knee injury. The Indian priest told him that the only solution is for him to go back to his hometown and jog 21 times down a hill, on his 21st run he would see a sign from the gods.




_Fuck whoever doesn't believe me!
[/quoteYinmu.

thesicilian:
He cut short his visit to Nigeria because of a dead snake. There are no snakes in London abi? Who even asked him to come in the first place?

yinmu.

fulanmafia:
I even missed that part...you mean instead of heading for the land of the hanging sun, the biafrans instead ran to the Fulani emir so they could be allowed to stay in the "barren unproductive north" ?

The HANGING SUN hung till it settled in the west,ODEBURUKU.

KahlDrogo:
Funny people. Instead of heading East, they head to the Emir's Palace. The people have said they are done accommodating you in their lands, GET THE FVCK OUT!

You must get you biafra by fire by force!

if we check well one of ur relation resides in the north,so read ur post again and imagine ur relation among the people that will ''Bleep OFF''.

When you guys where reading the story of pharaoh,egyptians and the isrealites in the bible you thought it was real history not knowing that it did not happen real but a prophesy inform of history now the prophesy is being fulfilled gradually right in our face.

dlondonbadboy:
That's not a pastor...

That's a native doctor.

Pastors don't operate this way..

Media linking everything to pastors to ridicule the church of Christ...Antichrists!!

TAAAA MECHIE ONU,EWU

Nigerdeltaboi:
trash as how ? abeg go pack sand for mogadishu barracks gate first yeye, Do you know insurgents bury IEDs to attack troops ? he was stopped, warned and asked to leave but he chose to approach the soldiers as the report claimed,The north east and west are high risk security zones where suicide bombers have stuck in likewise manner.
Discretion could have saved that man

Shatappp is that why he shot an innocent man?

To stab a soldier kill jus dey hungry me.

Wiseandtrue:
Reno Omokri, you need to balance the equation!

The boyfriend that is servicing the girls free of charge should be called what

OLOSHO SPOTTED.

hoodedjaystrim:
Wide Surface Area Headed Idiat

AFONJA

This bitch ass nigga is broke wallahi.

carzola:
Is that the kind
Of spiritual
Attack that leads
Them to pushing
Drugs...

Because am very sure
This woman will allow
Her son pish drugs than
Serve his country.

see this mumu o,the foolish mods will not see this one to ban o because na afonja like them,stupid touts.

hoodedjaystrim:
u af carry uhr poto poto brain and enta here again

AFONJA.

IhatesIGBOS:
Brobably they were igbos,causing neusance in another man's land.
Make ona carry ona wala go ona redmuld state

for ur mind now u make sense abi :/.

Cogent:
Kudos to the security guards for shooting back, they are very brave men, heroes. Many policemen will run away instead of shooting. Kudos to them again.

May the robbers meet untimely painful death, may happiness be detached from their existence. May they search fruitlessly for peace of mind and never find it.
Amin.

Oga na only one policeman dey there,go back and watch the video again.

Adaowerri111:
This is the zenith bank robbery in wetheral road owerri, Corporate thieves, the driver is the guy with bandage on his leg, the security man is unlucky,he could have rolled on the floor shooting while getting out from that room, may his soul Rest In Peace

Wetin this one dey talk

richyblink1:
Kindly read well or get a recommended glass. I am male for your information, and married as well. My younger brother dare not enter my room without knocking, not to talk of standing after seeing my wife naked. Except he wants to explain his real intentions towards my wife

How old are you?

To all the stupid mods that specialises in banning people i say may lightening strike all of you dead,bastards.

Naijaguy12345:
I know your generation came from those who survived the war hunger, sorry.

Yeah and that was why I'm here tormenting uyou cause i survived.

This woman don old finish.

missomo:
Keep on guessing. When you're right I would let you know. #BEBELUBE

APOSTOLIC CHURCH OF CHRIST...#UNAMIKOT.

missomo:
Guess again.

ok you are the founder of missOMO Abi missKLIN MINISTRIES INCORPORATED.....#IRANU.