₦airaland Forum

The ability to inspire followers through a well refined speech is an indispensable quality which should never be found lacking in a good leader. I don't know how far Obama has gone in delivering his campaign promises and i don't know if this speech is merely a plot to keep enjoying the 1st citizen's privileges for the next four years, but boy! That Obama guy sure knows how to speak!

I do not blame whoever wrote the book from which this was copied. I mean, there are lots of money to make from pitiably gullible average class people who swallow shit like this and remain poor. There are absolutely no rules for being super rich! The super rich do not even work or take as much risks as the middle class. Its just that our earth maintains the three classes (high, middle, and lower) and will continue to do so cos everybody can't be rich. And mind you, one of the ways to remain poor is to cause yourself to continue reading lies like this that might prompt you to take a precipitate and fatal decision! As for me, i'm neither poor nor super rich, but money will never ever be my problem!

Thanks for the comments, hommies. I've had my ease with women for so long and just thought it wont hurt to share some of my experiences.

The art of wooing is a delicate phenomenon which must be performed creatively in order to achieve desired results. Owing to the ignorance of some men as to the existence of certain silent donts while hitting on chics, they have begun to see girls and women as a specie of good-looking “aliens”, who are more weird than an adjective can describe.
This conclusion is often arrived at, after trying severally to win a lady’s heart without success. However, the truth remains that women are mere human beings who appreciate good things, and deprecate bad ones. Hence, if you are one of those guys who is still yet to take a regular alicia out, there must be something you are not doing right!
Hopefully, your problems are about to be solved, as below are the most common mistakes men, or boys, make while wooing ladies.



Being Shy

A guy I know once met a girl on his way to the stadium. Having foiled many attempts to get a girlfriend, he reached deep into the recess of his balls and mustered up a thousand tons of courage to speak with her. On getting there, his morale miscarried, and our guy lost his sense of speech, sense of touch, and judging from the way he moped at her, I think he lost his sense of sight too. As if enough harm wasn’t done already, his feet were also shaking like that of a mango tree in a storm!


Looking at the way that girl laughed, am sure she was very happy to have met our guy that morning. But gee! Would she date him for the world? I DON’T THINK SO!
Shyness is natural. Shyness is involuntary. Shyness is cool in a way. But wake up, bro; shyness cant get you ANYTHING in life. Always bear that in mind while talking to a girl. Another tip that might help you get over your uneasiness with the female gender is for you to gesticulate with all parts of your body while speaking. Move your hands. Shift from one foot to the other. Act like you are a happy little boy by kicking an imaginary ball in the air. These actions, as out of place as they may seem, help exhaust some of those tense feelings that make you look bad before dear Alicia!


The nature of the conversation you have with her

Now we are getting somewhere. After you’ve met, become friends, and scheduled a date without any accidents or mishaps (you know what I mean) , you are definitely going to get to that fearful stage where you both rub minds for the first time. This stage is delicate as the topics you discuss with your Alicia on your first date goes a long way to determine if she will think about you all through the night…. Or laugh about you with her friends, all through a night, most miserable for poor you.


Some guys actually start such conversations with “Are you born again?”. How naïve! Even if the girl you are wooing is a nun who jumps at every opportunity to talk about how dearly she loves Jesus, raising a topic like this one will only make you her potential convert, or spiritual child – not the lover you desire to be! Another total turn off is politics. We all know you spend half your income reading newspapers, and you don’t know who Justine Bieber is, because you are often too busy watching CNN but bro, that wealth of knowledge won’t get you very far on your first date.


Ideal topics of conversation should be focused on your personal experiences. If the girl is shy, or reticent, do not push her to speak. Loosen her lips by relishing on some of the naughty things you did as a kid. Funny occurrences in your life are life savers in such circumstances as nothing pays more than putting a smile on her face by letting her into your life. If you do this well, and all other factors are equal, she is bound to let you in on her own life and bro; if that happens then I suggest you go buy yourself a pack of condoms… it might come in handy!

Dirtiness

Its quite surprising to note that some men still go after ladies with an odour hanging in their mouths, or their clothes smelling to high heavens. For goodness sake, girls are cleanliness freaks! They wash their hair many times a week, polish and cut their finger nails, and smell of all types of cosmetics and perfumes all day long – not to mention that they wash their mouths two to five times a day! Whats more, the typical female’s sense of smell is more sensitive than that of a typical male. So, if there’s so much as a speck of dirt on that jean of yours, don’t delude yourself by thinking our Alicia won’t notice. Matter of fact, she’ll laugh over it with her friends once you are done embarrassing yourself speaking with her.


Wash that socks of yours properly and if you don’t launder too well, get a dry cleaner to do the job. As for your mouth, nothing sucks more than a mouth odour and its therefore advisable that you wash your mouth before your first date and also get a chewing gum, or lick something that smells sweet. Remember that most of what you say to her will come out in whispers (that’s the romantic way). You should plume and groom yourself to perfection. Don’t worry, you can always make up for it by avoiding taking your bath for days, when you are done seeing Alicia. I mean, boys will be boys, right?


One more thing, your prof in the university probably told you that we human beings have natural fragrances which attract the opposite sex and of course, professors are always right. But you would do yourself a great deal of good by forgetting old prof’s idea while going to meet Alicia. Please reserve the natural fragrance for your male friends and anyone who doesn’t give a Bleep about how you smell. While going to see Alicia, use a perfume! The most annoying thing about odours is that those who have it, hardly know they do and you don’t wanna leave anything of that sensitive nature to chance! Hence, use a modest perfume. It costs a dozen a dime these days.


Using an outlandish Language

Imagine a guy walking up to a lady in an environment where Yoruba is the language of the day, only to say “Hi, pretty? Can I get to know you?”


That is immature, fake, and totally not cool. Apart from the fact that the average second language speaker is vulnerable to a variety of grammar and pronunciation anomalies, Using a foreign language makes you appear to be trying to impress, and if you know what I know about women, you would understand why its important that she never sees you as one who is trying to impress her. It’s always better to start off on a local footing.


Apart from this, if foreign languages must be used, never use jaw breakers, unless they are ABSOLUTELY necessary.


Being cocky

Some guys expect girls to flock after them the minute they brandish their wraps of money notes. Some others wait by a street corner, and beckon on girls to come to them, expecting absolute obedience. How ridiculous! In the process of wooing a lady, you are expected to be strong, mature, and considerate. You are expected to show some level of self respect. But whatever you do, never ever try to act cocky.


Instead of beckoning on her to come to you (when you are only meeting for the first time), why not walk up to her and say hi? Instead of hitting her ass and saying “I know you want me” (believe me, some guys are actually do that!), why not reach for her hands, look into her eyes and say “you are beautiful”?


Humility, even when faked, is a virtue. It is a principal sign of maturity and it melts hearts faster than heat melts ice.

Girls are delicate, often selfless, and beautiful creatures who are more than willing to love you for who you are if they find themselves comfortable around you. Avoid the mistakes stated above when next you are off to Alicia’s place and just maybe you’ll land yourself with a truly charming girl

Source:
http://larryokeke.hubpages.com/hub/Mistakes-Men-Make-while-wooing-Ladies

Some of the points listed up there could help a STAGGERING relationship last longer. But during my perusal of the text, i discovered with strong certainty that the post was written by a woman. And i have dated a lot of girls whom i didn't treat as the list above 'll have me do, but they all stuck around till i called it quit. Hence, the rules above can be rightly referred to as "how we girls would like to be treated"-not how to keep a woman. Gee! Any girl that dumped your ass because you didn't do any of the childish stuff up here never loved you!

I am an igbo indigene, and i sympathize with the massob. However, the first lines of the constitution outlines that Nigeria must remain one indivisible entity. Hence, if component elements are allowed to flagrantly hoist flags that imply that the nation is not one, it would amount to serious weakness on the part of the federal government. Constitutionally, the police commissioner is right and i would advise the massob to channel their energy into less swashbuckling acts

I have tons of respect for Mr. President. I really do. But grounding the economy of a state simply because one man is visiting is absurd, deleterious, and absolutely nonpropitious! Go to other countries and you'll notice that the president's visits to states are even hardly noticed. Its moves like this that make elections a do or die affair, and i, and many other enlightened Nigerians can't help but nod in disapproval. All the same, i heartily welcome Mr president to my own state.

Gee! I've had so many exs and therefore have developed a systematic way of disengaging them once they become less caring, which is to send her a text in which i extoll her good qualities, pretend i'll miss her, and wish her a happy future.

Looking at how tall this thread has gotten, it will be a miracle if anyone stumbles into this post of mine but this happens to be an issue i know a thing or two about so, i 'll still proceed to air my view on it-though no one 'll see it.

We are in the 21st century and playing hard to get now is not becoming obsolete; rather, IT HAS BECOME OBSOLETE. Self respecting guys like myself WON'T call a girl that doesn.'t call us, Won't ask a girl to hang out with us if she shows the least sign of unwillingness at the prospect., and we definitely won't ask you to love us twice! The only guys who stoop to such shit are guys who don't think they worth much. Grow up, girls. Its a new millenium!

It doesn't matter what you all think or say. These men strongly believed in what they were doing and if they could pull through thick, throng, and thin to come to where they are now, they deserve my respect and i won't withhold it from them. I'm an atheist by the way

Whats the cut off mark for law?

I really do not think this question needs answering as the answer is clear. All religions preach against other religions! Every religion sees itself as the only true connection to God while other religions are plots by greedy men to extort and mislead the people.

No 62 Osuma Road,
Onitsha,
Anambra State.


The Pearly Gates,
Heaven.
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]
Dear Sir,

REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION ON THESE AMBIGUITIES

I write to you sir, to inform you of my immense confusion on why you really created this earth, and what you expect from its inhabitants. The religious institutions I find around me have only compounded my confusion; I thereby find it imperative that I ask the only person that really has answers to all my questions.

First of all sir, no one on earth today witnessed the creation of the first man, yet, everyone seems to have improvised quite slightly sensible stories to describe your indispensable role in the creation of man. I would have believed these stories, but for the fact that they are so different from one another. The most disgusting of it all, sir is that no one is even bothered by the fact that every other person seems to have his own story, which he clings to so strongly. They just see these things as the things they were born into, and therefore must adhere to. But I do not see it that way sir. I want to know why man was created in the first place. Was man created intentionally or by accident? Of all the creation myths, which is the real one? Please sir, I want you to answer me… just the way a friend that loves me would.

Secondly sir, religious institutions all over the world have endless lists of the things you frown at and their inevitable punishments. They say that you do not like it when people fornicate, tell lies, steal, kill, e.t.c. Some of these victim-oriented crimes are understandable. But are they right in saying that victimless acts such as fornication are sins before you? Every body seems to have swallowed these theories hook, line and sinker… everybody… except a few dauntless thinkers like me. Sir, the level of my wisdom would never be measured with yours because you created the world in a few days, while I couldn’t even do that in a million centuries, but all the same, sir, you must agree with me on the fact that the world is an unfair place, in which people meet things and fates that they do not deserve. Therefore sir, I do not see any reason why people should not be allowed to enjoy insignificant frivolities like sex while they can. Besides, you of all people, put the desire in us, just the way you put hunger in us, why then should we not try to quench our taste? I do not intend to ask cynical questions sir, but I hope that you will clarify me on this issue with your infinite wisdom.

Moreover, another disconcerting thing which everybody (save for a handful of people) does is the act of shouting at you in order to elicit your blessings or for you to alleviate their grief. This is one thing I will never understand, sir. The different religious institutions all over the world all seem to agree on the fact that you love us more than our earthly parents do. One would therefore wonder why we do not ask our earthly parents to do things for us (despite the fact that they are not all-knowing) but they still do it. But one would immediately resolve that you are very insensitive to the welfare of your people, if he stumbled into a person that is soliciting your assistance via prayers. i.e we do not ask our earthly parents for food and protection every other day, but they give it to us, anyway… but with you, we are purportedly expected to praise you, ask for forgiveness of sins, and present our daily requests to you, repeatedly everyday. sir, I want to know if this is really necessary, after all, you know what we will need even before we need them.

Finally, another thought provoking theory, which everybody crucifies me for doubting, is the story of how you sent Jesus to die on the cross to save us. My questions on this issue are very precise; how can we say that Jesus was sacrificed on the cross when he resurrected only three days later to become the king of kings? How and why should a father sacrifice his son to himself, just to appease himself for the sins of his own children? How can we say that Jesus came to save the world, when (if the bible is correct) billions of souls are already in hell and zillions more will still find their way to that place? How can we say that its through Jesus that we are saved while we are still expected to keep the commandments of God or perish… your belief in Jesus notwithstanding (For no unclean thing shall see the kingdom of God)

Like I stated earlier sir, am just a kid that has been exposed to more than he should be exposed to, but all the same, I ask that you clarify these things to me beyond any reasonable doubt.

Any other person that sees this, would say that I am incurring your wrath, but sir, I do not see anything wrong in wanting to know, and no matter what they say, am sure that you will never be angry at a person, for just wondering and using the mind you gave him effectively.

I look forward to your divine reply.

Yours faithfully,

Larry Okeke

I don't find this piece absolutely pertinent. First of all, words were evidently forced into the mouth of the muslim cleric by the author and his motives were greatly misrepresented here to fan the embers of ethnicism. Secondly, the entire piece was written from the south east christian perspective, with words like the anti-christ repeatedly used as if they were core precepts of the constitution.

And of course, just like it was fashioned, the write up has elicited diverse ethnocentric sentiments from an already volatile group of people..

All i have to tell Nigerians is that Nigeria is this bad because you are all so foolish that you continue to subject yourselves to religion and its agents, extolling it and its divisive precepts more than any other thing. Hence, the fruits of religion which are selfishness, backwardness, fanaticism, wars, and terrorism are with you. You all need to start thinking out of the box.

There was absolutely no need to do what you did but i think you are already so given to deceitfulness that you couldn't help acting that movie. I don't blame you. Its just a habit.

You are pathetic! Go out there, get a life, and get a wife

I think you should simply forget the issue, man. Questions like this don't have answers

Nice post man! I laughed my heart out

Honestly, the situation is very confusing. The most crazy thing is that the perpetrators of these killings strongly believe in their own minds, that they are doing the work of their God-just as we Christians believe we are doing the work of God when we go evangelizing. Its wrong and barbaric, but how do we get them to understand? It is utmost pretence to say that religions allow for other religions. The koran states that all christians and infidels shall be cast to hell with shaitan. And the bible says in john 3:18 that all who do not believe are condemned already. These verses prove that anyone who doesn't believe these religions is no friend of God. And when someone is not friends with God, of what worth is his life? All i can say is that its a very confusing and complicated situation. I don't even blame jonathan at all. The problem lies with getting people to understand...

A very revealing thread, and article. I'm a christian, but i've always had respect for islam and its adherents. And for those of us who continue to cast aspersions at this noble religion even in a tranquil platform like this one, i advise that you desist from doing that anymore. We all can't be Christians or Atheists and whoever created this earth knows that

Una dey vex o! Upon all the celebrities wey globacom dey use do advert, none of una even mention g... Talkless of lo.. I been dew think say advert dey work o but e be like say na waste of money be that

Its easy to read this on nairaland, sigh, and post comments of aparthy. But just ask urselves these questions: could it be this man is merely a victim of circumstance? Would it be just to leave him to rot? I must admit am not very apprised on this issue but injustice anywhere must be condemned everywhere

My dear, i must posit that the issue of Nigeria having a foul federal structure is a wrong assertion. People just look at countries like the Us and see that their state legislatures make laws like anti-gay laws, e.T.C and they expect Nigerian states to wield such powers. When Nigerian states refuse to do so, its blamed on the constitution. You are forgetting that there are certain matters reserved for the federal govt. And there are matters reserved 4 d state government. But Nigerian state governments are largely dormant, not because the constitution wants them to be, but because they choose to be! We only need more decisiveness on the part of the federal government.

First of all, i must commend you for having the guts to air such an unorthodox point of view. This happens to be my area of specialization, hence, i shall proceed to put you right.

The system of government you are suggesting can rightly be referred to as a sort of parliamentry government-one with an impotent executive and a powerful legislature. Nigeria practised this system between 1960 and 1966, but we abandoned it in the 1979 constitution, because of its numerous disadvantages. Such a goverment is always very slow in making decisions as even the most minute decisions are debated for weeks. Secondly, the armed forces will become unorganised, as their loyalty is not directed to one person, but hundreds of people!

Thirdly, there'll be no definite international representative of the state. Fourthly, there will be no separation of powers as the parliament will be supreme... Making and executing laws.

Simply put, your idea is quite agreeable when observed from a myopic perspective. But when its attendant deformities are illuminated, it becomes clear that it is impracticeable

Very enchanting story! You've got a brazen sense of humour, bro